Vol. 12 - Chapter 300 - Reine I
"Finally... you're finally born."
The first thing she heard was a voice.
"...my, my only Reine."
‘――I've been waiting for you forever’, she said. It was only later that she realized it was her mother's voice.
Reine mean light.
It was only later that she realized that Reine was her name.
At the time, she only perceived it as a sound.
Her body, which had just come out of the warm place, was wiped, and her chest felt tight, and she choked on the air she tried to take into her lungs.
With every small cough, the person holding her stroked her gently.
The world was dazzling in her blurry vision.
The newborn Reine simply narrowed her eyes at the dazzling light.
She had golden hair and purple eyes, inherited from her mother.
Reine was born as the fourth princess of the Kingdom of Alberan.
She had five older brothers and three older sisters. That must be quite a lot of children.
But her mother never had a younger sister or brother.
"...You're special, Reine. The others are failures."
Her mother, with her bright golden hair and the same name, said this with a smile.
She would often stroke Reine's head in bed and tell her various stories.
"Failure?"
"Yes, a failure. You're the only one I ever wanted."
Her mother was a queen.
The queen of the Alberan Kingdom, which rules most of the continent, and was very busy.
She did all sorts of work all day, so she didn't sleep in the castle very often, but on the nights she spent there, she would always call out to Reine, hold her tenderly, and tell her stories.
Her mother always said that Reine was special.
In fact, it was true even from an objective point of view.
Her mother was very kind to Reine, but not to her other siblings.
Her siblings never entered the floor where her mother slept, at least she never saw anyone other than Reine being called.
Only a very small number of servants and Reine were allowed to set foot on this floor.
It was certain that her mother recognized Reine as something special.
Her other siblings also considered her special.
Her siblings seemed to get along well, but they avoided her.
She concluded that they disliked her, but she didn't quite understand why.
The same was true for the servants and nobles, even those who smiled at her other siblings seemed to stiffen their expressions and avoid her when they saw Reine.
When she asked them if they disliked Reine, they hurriedly denied it.
But it was certain that she not liked, at the very least.
Reine was special to many, but it didn't seem like a good thing.
Her mother spoke of Reine's specialness as if it was a very good thing, but Reine had always found it strange.
"There are only two of us in the world. Me and Reine."
"Just the two of us..."
"Yes. They may look like us, but they're not the same. They are far inferior, they can't see what we see, can't do what we do, can't think like we do... they're no different from dogs or horses and other beast."
"Beast..."
Her mother gave a wry smile as Reine tilted her head.
"Reine, you're very smart. Someday, you'll be able to see what I see, do what I do, and think like I think... it might take some time since you're not good at talking yet. But how mysterious, even that is endearing."
"Haa..."
"You don't understand now, but you don't need to care about other people, Reine. Eventually, you'll see it's foolish to worry about them. The only thing to consider is how to train them and use them. You wouldn't expect a teacup to talk, would you?"
"…? Yes, teacups can't talk..."
‘It's the same’, her mother laughed.
"Other humans can speak, but it's just an animal cry. Even if you want to talk to them, they're just beasts with the same appearance. Just like a teacup can't replace a fork, everything has its purpose and can't be used for anything else."
With a soft expression, she gently combed Reine's hair with her fingers.
"...You don't have to worry about other people, just look at me. I'm the only one who can give you what you want... and you're the only one who can give me what I want. That's enough, and I don't need anything more."
Her mother stroked her cheek, traced her lips with her thumb, and slowly pressed her lips to her forehead.
Reine smiled and pressed her face into her mother's chest.
There were many people who thought her mother was scary.
Everyone looked at her and spoke to her with fear.
But her mother was very kind to Reine, and was a great and excellent person.
Reine had never thought of her mother as scary, so she always found it a little strange.
Her mother was always clear and unwavering.
She declared what was right as right and what was wrong as wrong.
It was usually logical and acceptable to Reine, but many people didn't seem to think so.
For example, the incompetent should be eliminated.
That's correct.
Anything that brings disadvantages should be eliminated, and if it doesn't bring benefits, it's unnecessary.
Her mother's clear guidelines were easy for Reine to accept, but many of the subjects privately complained that her mother was too harsh.
If they did what they were supposed to do, her mother wouldn't punish them.
However, since there were many people who couldn't do what they were supposed to do, her mother had no choice but to punish them.
That alone didn't make her mother bad.
On the contrary, she was maintaining the country in good condition and making it large and prosperous, so she should have been praised, it was strange that she was spoken ill of.
Her mother was much better than Reine, and she wasn't as bad at talking as Reine.
Putting aside the fact that Reine was disliked, she didn't really understand why her mother was disliked.
But if even her mother was like that, then surely even if Reine were to become like her mother, she would still be disliked.
"...But Reine still doesn't want people to dislike her. I think it would be better if we could all get along."
"Fufu, Reine is a kind girl. But...right there was a time when I thought the same thing."
Her mother gently stroked Reine's head and shook her shoulders, giggling.
"You just don't understand this world yet. Someday you will. And then, eventually, you'll want the same things I do."
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“Reine too,... What do you want, Mother?"
‘right’, said her mother, taking Reine's cheeks in hers and staring at her with her purple eyes.
"A peaceful, happy... small paradise just for us. A place where nothing threatens or troubles us."
When Reine tilted her head, Mother laughed softly again, kissed Reine cheek, and told her to sleep.
Reine nodded, pressed her face into her mother's chest, and closed her eyes.
"I don't really understand, but... I'll do my best to help you, Mother."
"I'm glad. But don't rush. First, you need to grow up more."
"Yes. I'll do my best."
When Reine said that, her mother smiled.
"Fufu, goodnight――my dear Reine."
Her mother always whispered this happily as she slept.
At least to Reine, her mother was a very kind person.
Since her mother asked her for ‘help’, she had no doubt about doing so, and she thought she should pay in return for the many things her mother gave her.
Studying, sword practice, eating, and sleeping.
She repeated this daily routine.
Since she was born, many tutors came to visit her.
They were renowned scholars, magicians, and masters of swordsmanship, spearmanship, and horsemanship――but rather than these tutors, Reine's favorite was her attendant servant, Fili.
She had reddish-gold hair.
She seemed to be a relative of her mother's, and her mother also had a good opinion of her.
To Reine, the tutors' explanations were longwinded and full of impurities.
But Fili summarized everything for Reyne after each lesson.
Fili knew most things, and after her mother told her it would be easier to understand if Fili taught her, Fili became her tutor for everything except martial arts.
Fili didn't say anything unnecessary, and only explained what was necessary.
Tutors usually dislike being asked questions about things they didn't understand, but Fili didn't seem to mind, and would bring out suitable books from the library and have Reine read them.
Her favorite thing was to sit on her lap and have her read while she strokes her head.
Even in books that were written in a way that was difficult to understand, Fili would explain it in a digestible way so that it was easy to understand.
By the time she was seven, she had finished reading all the books in the royal library, and the time became more like conversation than study.
Whenever Reine asked something that she didn't understand and that wasn't written in the books, Fili would always answer, although she would preface it by saying that ‘it couldn't be said that it was correct’.
Reine found Feery's ability to answer these questions mysterious and became more curious about her.
The more questions she asked, the more she felt like she could understand Fili, so every day she would think up various questions and ask them to Fili, who would answer them while racking her brains.
Fili's answers to those questions were sometimes vague and difficult, but the task of trying to understand them was much more fun than reading a book.
In the room as usual, on top of Fili, who was sitting in a chair.
"Was Mother like :eine when she was a child?"
When Reine asked, Fili thought for a moment, looking a little troubled, before opening his mouth.
"Well... I've heard that she was a very capable person, just like you, Elsreine-sama."
Only her mother called Reine ‘Reine’.
It was said that it was disrespectful to call her by the same name as her mother, ‘Reine’, so everyone else starts with the word Els.
An archaic word meaning small.
Her mother, on the other hand, starts her name with ‘Graba’, meaning great or large.
Apparently this was to avoided misunderstandings and record-keeping issues, but Reine always wondered why her mother gave her the same name despite the complications.
Her mother was very rational in everything she does, and much smarter than Reine, so she just didn't understand why she brought such trouble into the naming of an individual.
When asked, her mother would say, ‘Because you are my Reine’, which didn't clarify much, so Reine stopped thinking about it long ago.
"Is Reine excellent?"
"Yes, incredibly so."
"Is that so..."
Fili looked puzzled and stroked Reine's cheek.
"Is something wrong?"
"...I think being excellent is a good thing, but I feel like not everyone thinks the same. I just practiced with Darkal and won, but he made a strange face and said it was over for today... I wanted to thank him for all he's done for me, so I asked him if I could train him, but he made a really displeased face and I think I made him mad."
"My, to Duke Remin..."
Sword training once a week.
Swordsmanship wasn't that difficult once she get the hang of it.
Before an opponent could land an unavoidable blow, Reine landed her own.
It was that simple.
If you keep in mind the differences in height and reach that differ from person to person, it Qs easy to predict and hit them with your sword.
The fifth sword instructor――Darkal was so-so, but he was an opponent that Reine was sure she would not lose to, at least under the terms of the sparring.
They had planned to match for about three koku from noon, but it lasted less than half an koku.
After five strikes, the sparring was called off for today.
"Everyone praises me at first. But as time went on..."
The first instructor also praised her for her good skills when she first started, but gradually they stopped praising her and started looking at her with a strange look on their face.
The next instructors, and the ones after that, were the same.
They looked at Reine with angry, scared, or uncomfortable looks on their faces.
The other servants were the same.
There were very few people who always greeted her with a smile like Fili, except for the old-timers who had been serving her mother for a long time.
"That's a difficult question to answer..."
"Difficult?"
"Yes, a little. If I had to say... well, I guess I should say they were too surprised."
“too surprised..."
"Yes, fufu, Lady Elsreine is just too excellent. When someone is too different from they, they can't understand what the other person is thinking or anything like that."
As he said this, Fili hid Reine's eyes with both hands.
Her vision is blocked and it becomes pitch black.
"For example, isn't it scary when your eyes are covered like this?"
"... No?"
"Then how about this?"
Saying this, Fili wrapped both arms around Reine's neck.
Leina tilted her head and said she wasn’t scared.
“Why not? I could easily take your life now. Even Elsreine-sama would die if I squeezed your neck tightly.”
“uhh..?”
Reine thought and answered hesitantly.
"...Fili wouldn't kill Reine...uhh, Fili wouldn't do something like that..."
Her words were unsure, not fully understanding the question’s intent.
Fili's hands moved lovingly from her neck to her cheek.
"Yes, of course. I wouldn't do such a thing. I love Elsreine-sama. But what if it were someone else? Someone who doesn’t like you?”
"That's... scary...?"
"That's right. Lady Elsreine knows Fili well, so she feels safe knowing that I won't do such things. But it would be scary if someone you don't know did the same thing. It's the same for those people."
"Same..."
"They probably don't know Elsreine-sama well, so they're scared because they don't know what she'll do. Elsreine-sama is very talented and strong, so from the other people's point of view, she's an unknown opponent who they don't know when she could kill them."
Chuckling, Fili hugged Reine tightly.
The soft feel of her ample breasts made her cheeks relaxed.
"And Elsreine-sama is your Highness The Princess. If you tell the Queen that you dislike them or that they had done something terrible to you, she can punish or even kill that person. That's why everyone is so scared."
"Scared..."
"Yes. Of course, that's because they don't know that Elsreine-sama is a kind person. And because Elsreine-sama is very talented, they worry that she might dislike or shun them for a small mistake, and they're always thinking about things like that."
‘They're at a los’s, Fili said.
Reine tilted her head again, and Fili smiled.
"I can't believe they can't understand that Elsreine-sama is such a lovely person... Fufu, but that’s simply because she buttoned a mismatched button."
"...?"
"Fufu, it's like this."
Firi undid and misaligned a button on Reina’s collar.
“Uh…?”
“Does it feel strange?”
“Yes, a bit…”
“It’s a small thing that can be easily fixed by redoing the button correctly…”
Fili fixed the button and smiled.
“Once you realize the reason and fix it, it can be solved easily.”
“I see…”
Fili was always a little difficult.
But she felt like she could understand about half of her, so she wanted to understand her better.
If everything were easy to understand, she wouldn’t think this way.
If she understood nothing at all, she wouldn’t think this way either.
Fili was a bit mysterious, so it's fun to talk about her.
"Well, as you get to know other people, it's sure to be a problem that will go away."
"Is that so?"
“Yes, Elsreine-sama is very kind, my dear master. No matter what anyone else says, I believe that.”
And like that, Reine talked about various things with Fili almost every day.
What did that mean? What did this mean?
Every time Reine asked a question, Fili would look troubled, but for some reason she would smile happily and enjoy herself.
Reine loved to see that look on Fili's face.
And the more time she spent with her, the more she became friends with the other servants.
Their face, which used to stiffen when they saw Reine, now softens and smiles――surely it was all thanks to Fili.
Fili was respected and liked by the servants, and she often created opportunities for them to become closer.
For example, she would ask servants who happened to be there the questions Reine asked, or invite them over for tea.
The servants who seemed troubled gradually got used to her, their tension faded, and their expressions softened.
Not only did they greet each other, but they would also happily tell her about small everyday incidents, such as when someone made a silly mistake and felt down.
The more time she spent with her, the more enjoyable her life became.
But, it seems her mother didn't think well of Fili.
One day, her attendant was replaced by someone else.
She hadn't been kicked out of the palace and still worked there, but she no longer came to Reine's room.
Fili explained with regret that her duties as a tutor had ended and she had been transferred to another job, and head servant had asked Fili to return, she seemed troubled and said that it was an order from Her Majesty the Queen.
When she asked her mother directly why, she replied that it was because Fili would have a bad influence on her.
"I know he's your favorite. It's true that Fili is better than the others, but Reine takes everything she says at face value."
"...Fili teaches Reine a lot of things that aren't even in the books. But Fili never says she's right, and always tells Reine that she should think about whether what she's saying is right or not."
"The things she said are logic we don't need, Reine."
"Logic we don't need..."
"We're different from those childs."
‘I thought you'd understand’, she told her, troubled.
"For example, Reine, do you understand what a pig is thinking?"
"... No."
"In the same way, farm animals don't understand human feelings. In the same way...there's a big difference between us and those childs in terms of how smart they are."
Mother tapped her head with her fingers.
"They don't understand things that we can easily understand. They are essentially livestock. Beasts to make our lives better. Of course, I don't think it's bad to love them, and it's important to love them in moderation from time to time. But it's not good to get too attached to them. Beasts have their own thoughts, and humans have their own thoughts. They never cross paths, and they can never understand each other."
Mother smiled as she gently held Reine close.
"You've learned as much as you can from books, Reine. From now on, you'll study about that sort of thing."
"Study..."
"Yes, I think it's about how to get along well with livestock. I guess it'll be easy for you to understand if I say it's an application of a book about governance."
When Reine nodded, Her mother stroked her head, saying, ‘good girl’.
Her mother was always kind, except when it came to Fili.
Fili never spoke ill of her mother and respected her, but her mother didn’t think highly of Fili.
Whenever she heard about Fili, her mother would always look at her in disbelief, saying it was ridiculous.
She wanted her mother to accept Fili, but Reine didn't know what to do.
She often praised Firi’s good qualities, hoping her mother would eventually understand, but it didn’t go well.
“I will try hard. By the way, Mother, Fili is painting.”
“Painting?”
“Yes. I’ll endure not having her as my personal attendant. So...y I learn painting from Fili? I’d like to try painting too.”
Her mother looked troubled, as if she was thinking for a moment.
"Reine really likes that girl huh. ... I'll accept it if you listens to me properly."
"Yes. Reine, will listen to what Mother says properly."
“I’ve been too busy to spend much time with you. From tomorrow, let’s work together. If you help me well, I’ll allow it.”
“Thank you!”
Reine hugged her mother, who smiled happily.
‘Good night, my dear Leina.’
Her mother always whispered this happily when she sleeps.
Holding Reine in her arms with endless gentleness.
“You’re very talented. This is beautiful…”
“Do you think so?”
“Yes. You’ve mastered the basics quickly... as expected of Elsreine-sama.”
――Countless paintings are placed everywhere in Fili's room.
She had entered Fili room only after she had stopped being her attendant.
When she visited for the first time, she was surprised at the state of her room, which was different from the usual Fili.
Fili was always neat and tidy, from cleaning to everything else, but her room was full of paintings.
Naturally it was tidy, but she had thought that she was the type of person who didn't keep unnecessary things around, so it was a great surprise.
Apparently it had been a hobby since childhood, and she had continued it in her spare time even after coming to the royal palace.
There were paintings of landscapes, paintings of the head servant, and paintings of Reine.
They were careful and well made, but the colors in her paintings were a little strange.
She often used different colors rather than the colors she saw.
It was easy for Reine to paint what she saw once she knew how, but her use of colors was somehow strange, and when she asked her why she used those colors, she laughed happily and said it was because she thought it looked prettier that way.
You can paint as you see it, you can also paint without seeing it.
Draw what you want to draw, and as long as you think it's beautiful, that's fine.
That's what Fili always answered.
However, Reine still didn’t quite understand what she means by ‘beautiful’.
She looks at the painting of a vase and flowers she had finished, and at the painting Fili was sketching next to her.
The painting shows people wrapped in thin cloths eating under the dappled sunlight of a blossoming forest.
At their feet lie several broken swords and ruined armor.
"What is that painting Fili?"
"...What painting? It's hard to say what it is..."
Fili tilted her head thoughtfully, and Reine tilted her head as well.
"Do you draw pictures without knowing what they are about, Fili?"
"That's right... Fufu, I often draw whatever comes to mind."
"Whatever comes to mind..."
"Yeah. I draw whatever comes to mind as I draw... I think about what kind of picture I want to see."
Fili was mysterious.
Sometimes, she couldn’t understand her.
He wondered if this is what his mother meant when she said ‘can't understand’, but she felt that this was not what she meant when she said ‘can't understand’ about Fili.
She must be able to see things that Reine can't see, and that was why Reine can't understand.
It was not that she couldn't understand Fili because Fili was inferior to her.
Reine was certainly better than Fili in many ways, but that didn’t mean she thought she was better than Fili.
Reine was probably less mature than Fili in many ways.
Reine could see 1 as 1, but Fili could see 1 as 10 or 100, which she thinks was amazing.
That's the difference between the pictures Fili drew and the pictures she drew. There's something in her drawings that Reine didn't have.
She always has something Reine didn't have.
"That's right. If I were to give a title to what I'm drawing now... let's call it a little paradise, Fufu, Elsren."
"Elsren..."
"Yes. A world without conflict, in complete peace. A world where everyone can live happily, without hunger or suffering."
Fili chuckled with amusement.
Reine thought deeply, thinking that her mother had said something similar, and tilted her head in thought.
Economic, cultural, personal gains and losses. At the very least, the world was a complex web of various circumstances, and she couldn't imagine a world without conflict.
Even my mother said that even if the world were unified, it would not necessarily be safe.
That the world would be full of trash and would cause pointless conflicts.
"That is... well, I think it would be very difficult."
"Yes. But you are free to paint a picture of such a world... As I said before, you can paint whatever you want. If painting what you see is painting, then painting the happy world of your imagination is also painting.”
"In your imagination..."
"Yes. That includes dreams, ideals, desires, and things like that."
Reine tilted her head at Fili's words and Fili shook her shoulders with a chuckle.
‘Guess that was a little difficult’, she said, patting her head.
"Is this the kind of world Fili see is like the one in this picture?"
"Yes. Sometimes I think it would be nice to live in a world like this."
Fili gave a bitter smile and looked at Reine.
"But depending on how you look at it. Maybe I already have it."
"...?"
"...In a way, this place is what Elsren is to me now."
As Reine pondered with a difficult look on her face, Fili looked all the more amused.
A soft, happy chuckle echoed through the room, and Reine gazed at her.
Fili was mysterious.
Sometimes she couldn't understand her.
She didn't know why Fili was laughing like that, but watching her like that made Reine strangely happy.
Why was Fili laughing?
Why did she look so happy and joyful?
Reine wanted to know more about Fili and understand her better.
That might make Fili happier and happier if she did that.
That was all Reine could think about.