A Three Inch Adorable Wife Hidden in the Sleeve of the Chu King

Chapter 4

Chen Sixi came up to ask if he wanted to buy a coffin right off the bat.

Xie Xun had seen gloomy people before, but none as gloomy as this one.

Jiang Xiaoxiao was so startled that her eyes went wide.

Fortunately, she was sitting in the back basket on Xie Xun's mule cart at the moment.

She couldn't see Chen Sixi, and Chen Sixi couldn't see her either.

Chen Sixi was still enthusiastically introducing his wares to Xie Xun. "Don't get the wrong idea, brother. My family runs a coffin shop, so I'm just trying to drum up business here.

You may not need one right now, but you could put down a deposit to reserve one in advance.

When the time comes, our shop will not only deliver the coffin to your door, but also provide a complimentary band to ensure you get a grand and resonant send-off.

What do you think, doesn't that sound tempting?"

"No thanks," said Xie Xun as he boarded his mule cart. "Let's go."

Chen Sixi's eyes bulged in their sockets. "You're not going to buy a coffin but you're getting on my cart?"

Xie Xun replied: "Earlier you only asked if I wanted to buy a coffin. You didn't say I had to buy one to catch a ride into town with you. Since I declined to purchase, now I'm getting on your cart. What's the problem with that?"

Chen Sixi was momentarily struck speechless. What kind of robber logic was this?

From inside the back basket, Jiang Xiaoxiao nodded emphatically in agreement. "No problem at all."

Chen Sixi leaped in fright. "Who's that? Who's talking?"

Xie Xun acted nonchalant. "No one's talking."

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"I didn't imagine it! I definitely heard someone speak just now!"

The more Chen Sixi spoke, the colder his back felt, and his hair stood on end. Looking completely freaked out, he said, "It was just Ghost Festival last night. Could there really be some unclean thing nearby?"

Xie Xun looked at him askance. "You're in the coffin business and you're actually afraid of this kind of thing?"

Chen Sixi exclaimed, "I'm human, why shouldn't I be afraid of ghosts?" He looked ready to stomp his feet in agitation. "And we're talking ghosts here. Aren't you freaked out?"

Xie Xun: "Oh, sure, very freaked out."

Chen Sixi: Why do I feel like this guy's tone is forced?

"Forget it, bro. Today I'll be generous and give you a free ride into town."

Chen Sixi didn't want to admit he was scared and just wanted some company.

After getting seated properly, he snapped his whip and headed towards Kaihe County.

Xie Xun wasn't very talkative, and the journey passed quietly.

Chen Sixi couldn't stand the atmosphere, and kept glancing back at him. "Hey friend, let's chat a bit?"

The road was littered with paper money offerings left over from Ghost Festival last night, blown everywhere by the wind. With no one to talk to, the mood was downright creepy.

Xie Xun asked: "Chat about what?"

That stumped Chen Sixi. After all, they'd only just met, so there weren't many topics to discuss. But for the young master of a coffin shop who dared proposition customers right off the bat, no topic was off limits.

"Let's chat about your surname, given name, where you're from, how many in your family, if you're married, and whether your wife is a looker or not."

Xie Xun clearly wasn't interested.

Seeing this, Chen Sixi switched topics. "Or how about we chat about Cangwu Mountain Heavenly Master's Residence?"

Jiang Xiaoxiao had been dozing off in the back basket, but perked up instantly at the mention of "Heavenly Master's Residence".

She listened as Chen Sixi chattered away. "The Heavenly Master's Mansion has always only accepted male disciples, but this generation has a female disciple who's reportedly really ugly, and especially vicious."

Xie Xun raised a brow. "Vicious?"

"That's right. Other exorcists have to set up formations and draw talismans, but she just wields a cleaver to hack away. It may be a ritual implement, but what kind of girl walks around with a meat cleaver all the time?"

At this point, Chen Sixi's head drooped mournfully.

"Get this - my dad actually wants me to marry her! He says with our unusual family business, having a wife like that could ward off evil spirits."

This was the first Jiang Xiaoxiao had heard that not only was she ugly and ate a lot, she could also ward off evil.

She supposed that made her useful, and sort of justified the several large bowls of rice at every meal.

Xie Xun glanced back at the basket and said slowly, "Then you definitely shouldn't marry her. Too much of an eater would be hard to provide for."

"Why would she be hard to provide for?" Chen Sixi huffed. "I've saved up a decent amount...it's just..."

He heaved a sigh. "If only she was a bit better looking, I wouldn't be so conflicted."

Xie Xun didn't expect someone was actually eyeing his pet. There was no way he would let go of the lucky charm that had come into his care. So he kindly advised Chen Sixi, "I also heard she's very ugly. You shouldn't force yourself."

"Is that so?" Chen Sixi looked back suspiciously at Xie Xun. "Then I'll reconsider."

Having gotten her gossip fix, Jiang Xiaoxiao could finally relax and nap.

Cangwu Mountain sect didn't restrict who its disciples could marry.

So she had known for a long time that she would wed the noble person who could help lift her curse one day.

That "noble person" was Xie Xun.

Lacking a carriage, Xie Xun rarely came to town and wasn't familiar with which shops sold the mystic kirin figurines. After getting off the cart, he asked Chen Sixi for pointers.

Chen Sixi's eyes lit up at this. "I knew we were fated to meet. It just so happens our shop sells those kirin for warding off evil."

Xie Xun: "I thought your shop just sold coffins?"

Chen Sixi grinned. "On the side, on the side. As you know, the coffin business isn't easy, so we have to think up other ways to get by."

That reminded him of something else, and he asked Xie Xun, "Bro, why do you suddenly need a kirin? Have you consulted a geomancer?"

Xie Xun murmured affirmation.

"Which master did you ask?" Chen Sixi was even more curious now. "Give me a recommendation too. If he's really an expert, I'll ask him over sometime to take a look too. I've felt like something's been off at our shop lately."

Jiang Xiaoxiao had just woken up and the breeze made her sneeze out loud.

Chen Sixi freaked out all over again, his face ashen as he looked to Xie Xun. "Did you hear something just now?"

Xie Xun calmly shook his head. "Nothing."

"It can't be..." Chen Sixi's lips were trembling. "I must be hearing things from lack of sleep last night, right?"

Xie Xun: "Are you still selling those kirin or not?"

"Selling, of course selling!"

He wouldn't turn down business that fell into his lap.

But Chen Sixi's calves were shaking so badly that he couldn't take a single step. It took him a long time to walk ahead and lead Xie Xun to his shop.

Considering there was a small creature in his basket, Xie Xun didn't plan on entering the coffin shop. He said to Chen Sixi, "I'll wait out here for you."

Given the heavy yin energy, many people hesitated to set foot in a coffin shop, so this was normal.

Chen Sixi didn't think too much of it. He wiped the cold sweat from his brow and went inside to find his dad.

With Chen Sixi gone, Jiang Xiaoxiao could finally yawn, stretch, and move her limbs.

But before she could finish loosening up, her little brows suddenly knitted together.

Xie Xun had clearly noticed the abrupt silence from the creature and worried something was wrong. He quickly set the basket down to check on her.

Jiang Xiaoxiao said, "There's something inside the shop."