Chapter 14
Tu Shanjin hadn't attended to the empress for several days. To avoid suspicion, Yun Yaoyao informed him that she would summon him tonight.
Tu Shanjin's face immediately darkened. He refused.
"Absolutely not! Even if I were to give up this throne, I would never again allow those servants to strip me naked and wrap me in silk quilts!"
Yun Yaoyao sighed softly. Here we go again, the tyrant's pride and stubbornness were acting up.
"Then let me remind you once more of your three lives after death when you reincarnated."
"In your first life, you were reborn as a floor tile in the new Xiongnu palace. Every day you were trampled by the Huns, watching them level the tombs of your Tushan Family, dragging your corpse from the dungeon to whip it in vengeance. Finally, you crumbled to dust and were blown away by the wind."
"In your second life, you were reborn as a sow. Every day you ate slop, beaten by both humans and pigs. Only flies, mosquitoes, and dung beetles stayed loyal to you. One night, a drunken beggar even violated your porcine purity..."
"Enough!" Tu Shanjin's face grew even darker.
Yun Yaoyao nodded with satisfaction.
Three sentences were enough to make the tyrant willingly come to serve her.
So, in the evening, Tu Shanjin arrived exuding a chilly aura. The palace maids attending him trembled as they bathed him and dressed his hair.
Perhaps it was the misty water playing tricks on their eyes, but they seemed to see the emperor's terrifying visage on Her Majesty's body!
Oh my!
Tu Shanjin closed his eyes, trying his best not to look at this soft body that made his blood race.
The tips of his ears turned slightly red.
Heaven knows what mental struggles he went through every time he bathed or used the toilet.
Before he had even known a woman, he first became fully acquainted with a woman's body structure.
Moreover, this pre-bedchamber routine always reminded him of how ordinary farmers prepared pigs for slaughter during New Year - soaking them in hot water, scrubbing and rubbing, washing them spotlessly clean, then removing all the hair.
After enduring this torturous process, Tu Shanjin was wrapped in silk quilts and carried by eunuchs to the Palace of Cultivated Mind.
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As the palace doors opened, they saw Yun Yaoyao sitting on the dragon bed, her white inner robes half-open, revealing a smile that was three parts aggressive, three parts lustful, and four parts nonchalant.
While putting on this act, Yun Yaoyao deliberately controlled her voice, successfully producing a bubbly tone.
"My beloved consort..."
"Let me pamper you well tonight~"
And then...
She successfully made herself nauseous.
Xiao Wuzi directed the eunuchs to carefully place Tu Shanjin on the dragon bed, then put on a fawning smile and began flattering Yun Yaoyao.
"Your Majesty is wise and mighty, with the vigor of a dragon! The Empress is of unparalleled beauty. Tonight, Your Majesty will surely be able to perform twenty times, even more than before!"
Hah, twenty times in one night? Does he want her to die in bed?
If you can't compliment properly, better not to compliment at all.
Yun Yaoyao inwardly scoffed, but outwardly nodded slightly: "Mm, you may leave now."
Xiao Wuzi hurriedly led the group of eunuchs away, leaving the two alone.
Tu Shanjin sat up on the dragon bed, wrapped in silk quilts, his sharp gaze falling on Yun Yaoyao like knives.
"Put on your clothes properly. How can you lie there in such a coquettish manner? It's most unseemly!"
"And don't use my face to make such..."
Tu Shanjin was searching for an appropriate word to describe Yun Yaoyao's greasy expression and bubbly voice from earlier, which had made his scalp tingle, his toes curl, and made him want to vomit up all the meals he'd eaten in the past few days.
In the end, after scouring his entire vocabulary, he couldn't find a suitable word. The frustration left him with a mouthful of foul air stuck in his chest, unable to go up or down.
Fearing she might truly anger the tyrant, Yun Yaoyao smiled and changed the subject: "Alright, alright, let's talk business. Tonight we still need to discuss specific methods to deal with Lou Jianshan."
At the mention of official matters, Tu Shanjin composed himself and slowly began to explain.
"Lou Jianshan's influence in the court is deeply rooted. To completely overthrow him, we need two things: iron-clad evidence and a great evil deed."
Tu Shanjin picked up a brush and drew a simple diagram of personal relationships, analyzing the pros and cons: "Lou Jianshan is extremely cautious and never leaves any weak points. It's difficult to target him directly; it's best to start with those around him."
"The Ministry of Revenue is divided into four departments: the Granary Department, Revenue Department, Finance Department, and Treasury Department. Each department is headed by a vice minister. These four vice ministers are essentially Lou Jianshan's confidants. Two of them require special attention."
"The vice minister of the Granary Department has been with Lou Jianshan the longest and is his most trusted person. He keeps the confidential account books, and many of Lou Jianshan's dirty deeds are carried out by this trusted aide."
"The vice minister of the Treasury Department is newly promoted by Lou Jianshan, and his competence is much appreciated."
"The Granary Department vice minister has a weakness for women, while the Treasury Department vice minister values money above all else. Moreover, there's friction between these two."
Yun Yaoyao understood Tu Shanjin's meaning: "The iron-clad evidence is in the hands of the Granary Department vice minister. We can use the Treasury Department vice minister against him."
"Correct." Tu Shanjin nodded, "You should know this Treasury Department vice minister."
Yun Yaoyao looked puzzled: "Who?"
"At the palace banquet fundraiser, the official who starved himself unconscious to avoid donating money - that's the Treasury Department vice minister, Zhou Siren."
"Zhou Siren?!" Yun Yaoyao exclaimed in surprise.
"What's wrong?" Tu Shanjin didn't understand Yun Yaoyao's strong reaction.
Yun Yaoyao chuckled: "I'm just happy that we've found another talented person we can potentially recruit."
Based on the name "Zhou Siren," Yun Yaoyao matched him to a memorable minister from the novel. He had exceptionally strong coordination and calculation abilities, excelling in financial management, risk assessment, and decision-making.
In modern terms, he'd undoubtedly be a top-tier Chief Financial Officer!
Yun Yaoyao shared what she knew with Tu Shanjin: "This is all recorded in the Book of Life and Death. However, this man values money above all else and is blinded by greed. We're already penniless from building the Grand Canal, so we'll need to come up with a way to win him over without spending a coin..."
Talent, oh talent, all come to Yun Yaoyao's bowl!
As they discussed, time passed unnoticed, and it was already the next day.
The soft light of dawn seeped through the cracks in the door, spilling onto the floor.
Yun Yaoyao belatedly felt drowsy and regretted staying up: "I said we shouldn't pull all-nighters anymore. Ah! But at least it's your body that's... ZZZzzz..."
Tu Shanjin: "..."
Looking at the figure slumped over the table, Tu Shanjin felt somewhat helpless.
How could someone fall asleep so quickly?
Tu Shanjin put away the paper and turned to get some rest on the dragon bed.
After lying down for just a few seconds, he got up again and walked expressionlessly towards Yun Yaoyao.
He was only doing this to prevent his body from catching cold, it had nothing to do with the soul temporarily residing in it.
Convincing himself thus, Tu Shanjin bent down to pick up Yun Yaoyao.
The recent training had been useful; although it was somewhat difficult, he managed to successfully carry her to the dragon bed.
As he was laying Yun Yaoyao down, Tu Shanjin's body lost balance and fell forward.
Just before their faces could touch, Tu Shanjin managed to prop himself up with his elbow, stabilizing his body.
Their noses barely touched, their breaths mingling for a moment. Tu Shanjin's body froze briefly.
Realizing the situation, he quickly got up and lay down on the other side, the tips of his ears flushing with a suspicious redness.
To the palace servants guarding outside, it appeared that the lamps in the Palace of Cultivated Mind had been lit all night!
His Majesty... had actually spent the entire night in passionate lovemaking with the Empress!
As the morning court session approached, Yun Yaoyao was forced to wake up. With two huge dark circles under her eyes, she allowed the palace maids to change her clothes.
On the surface, she was as calm as still water, but inside, her mind was a dead pool.
Why on earth did she have to attend court so early?
Twisted! Crawling in darkness! She wanted to punch that damned Tu Shanjin and send him flying!
It was bad enough that his character was set as a tyrant, but why did he have to be a diligent tyrant too?!
Wouldn't it be nicer to be a decadent emperor who never attended morning court and just enjoyed the company of beauties?
Throughout the entire morning court session, Yun Yaoyao maintained a facade of calm attentiveness.
In reality, her mind was blank, her ears empty, feeling as if her body had been hollowed out.
The ministers below who hadn't yet reported also had their own little actions. Some silently yawned, some stared at the shoes of the official in front of them, while others absent-mindedly scratched their own bottoms.
Finally, as the morning court was about to end and the ministers were secretly sighing in relief, a cold voice came from the high seat.
"Minister Zhou, last time at the palace banquet you starved yourself unconscious. How is your health now?"