Chapter 330: [Bonus Chapter] A Bad Idea?
Malachi was smart, but sometimes he had slow moments that would make one believe otherwise.
Like when he briefly forgot which of Cami's shoes went on which feet as he was dressing her.
Or when he mixed up Aisha and Serana's birthdays so they both punched him.
But this was probably his slowest moment yet, and it was about to come with real consequences.
From Judeo-Christian mythology, Satan is one of the seven sins- being the embodiment of wrath.
He is one of the son's of Lucifer, or sometimes referred to as Lucifer himself.
He is big. Loud. Angry. And powerful.
He also happens to be Thea and Apophis' great uncle.
And Malachi had somehow attracted the attention of this being without even knowing what he had done in the first place.
When Satan saw the shining bracelets sitting on Mal's wrists, his formerly nonexistent interest in the young man had fully peaked.
Not just
anyone
can carry around weapons made from the body of a god.
So Satan, being the embodiment of anger, violence, and destruction that he was, felt the urge to personally 'test' whether Malachi was strong enough to hold such a thing.
Of course, everyone told him that he didn't have to participate in such a thing.
He was a guest here, and he shouldn't have had to put up with the shallow antics of one overly unlikeable old demon.
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But Malachi didn't see the harm in accepting.
If there was one thing he had earned from all of his time training with Thea and sparring against Apophis, it's that he really was like a frog at the bottom of a metaphorical well.
Learning a little more would not kill him. Nor would getting tossed around a bit. Everything in life was a learning experience.
So even though it probably wasn't very smart, he had accepted. And ended right inside of Satan's 'house'.
If one could even call it a house.
In actuality, it was a big empty colosseum that looked half-wrecked already. The colosseum floor was nothing but flat sand littered with broken weapons. And dried blood... lots of dried blood.
Apparently Satan slept here every night. Surrounded by the 'echoes of his glory' or whatever that meant.
"...Did I maybe hit you too hard in our spar? If so, I'm sorry. That's the only way I could possibly understand why you would voluntarily choose to do something this stupid."
Malachi rolled his eyes at Apophis' feigned concern.
"Some friend you are. Would it kill you to act like you believe in me a little bit?"
"You want me to co-sign this foolishness purely because you don't know when to say no?"
"It'd be nice."
"Oh, I bet it would."
Apophis held out his hand and a portal opened up in the air beside them.
Serosh, Zazu, and Ajani all came running out into the colosseum one after the other like a petting zoo parade.
One after the other, they ran into Malachi's body and were reabsorbed.
His familiar black skin returned, his teeth sharpened, and four familiar wiggly friends sprouted from his back.
"How're you feeling?" Apophis asked.
"Like I stand a bit better chance than I did a couple seconds ago."
"That's cool. You don't though."
"You know for a guy who's now thousands of years old, you're still just as much of a childish dick as you were when you were two."
"That's the glory of longevity, my friend. I get to enjoy things for a little bit longer than most." Apophis cackled.
The first prince soon faded away into a golden light and disappeared from view. He seemed to have no interest in watching a contest who's result was already known to him.
Plus, he had a pretty young woman with pink hair waiting in his room. Why would he waste time watching these two idiots when he had something much better waiting for him at home?
"Finally!"
Satan finally finished stretching and stood up with literal fire in his eyes.
"Don't go crying to your mommy if you can't play with the big boys, kid! The road to being a man is paved with a few broken bones!"
"...I guess I don't need mine then."
Malachi's body literally tore itself apart until he was nothing but a mass of intanginble darkness and stars. His height shot up considerably, as did his muscle definition.
But the most notable change was the roaring head of a tiger that had replaced his handsome mug.
Satan rubbed his hands together like he was waiting on fresh cookies to get out of the oven.
He suddenly turned his head and screamed off to the sidelines. "Hey! Are you bastards ready yet!?"
Malachi glanced over at the abandoned stands where Abaddon and the rest of the group were standing around a table.
Money had no value in The Abyss, so these mn were over there gambling over one of a kind weapons, personal items, and cases of beer.
"Yea, we're good!"
"Hey, Mal! Don't fuck up my parlay!"
Mal, the giant tiger-snake monster, was very touched. "Aw. You bet on me to win, Mr. Darius?"
"Fuck no, I bet that you would stay on your feet at least two minutes though. That's about as much faith as I'm capable of giving, lad."
"...You know what, I'll take it."
Now that the bets were established, there was nothing else holding the competitors back.
Satan roared into the sky, and a red miasma filled the air.
Malachi felt a pressure bearing down on his chest that was comparable to getting a lap dance from a blue whale.
His head felt like it was going to collapse in on itself if he couldn't alleviate the pressure.
He hadn't felt anything like this ever in his life. It was hard to even think.
But the good thing about this body was that it required surprisingly little input to move on it's own.
Nagini, Vritra, Gwiya, and Onini all expanded to be nearly the size of bridge pillars.
They easily closed the near sixty-yard distance between the two of them.
One after the other, they smashed down into the ground while kicking up sand and broken weapons like loose dust. Enjoy more content from mvl
Satan avoided every crushing attack directed towards him with surprising agility that he shouldn't have possessed with such a huge frame.
The serpent quartet left open a small gap that led straight back to Malachi.
Satan plucked two weapons out of the air and flung his body through the gap like a football.
He moved at such an unbelievably fast pace that Malachi didnt even see him arrive.
However, he did notice when the back of Satan's heel kicked him so hard that his head spun around a full 360 degrees.
But hey, at least he was still upright...
And he was about to learn that things may not have been as hopeless as he initially thought.