Chapter 13
Chapter 13
“D-Dad. Hukk…”
“Rubette!”
Barely grasping the blurred vision, I instinctively hugged my dad’s neck.
Dad’s body stiffened.
‘Do you hate me? You think an incapable person like me is a disgrace to the family, do you? But since I’m your own daughter, you can’t force me to leave…is that right?’
Thoughts that I, who had high self-esteem, would never have thought of echoed in my head like screams.
Fragments of emotion that Rubette’s body remembers, the sufferings all her life.
“D-Dad…”
“…”
In exchange for absorbing Rubette’s life, I couldn’t free myself from her feelings.
It was like an instinct for the body to react before the head.
“Y-Y-You don’t like me, d-do you? I-I know that, but…”
“What?”
Won’t you soothe me? During the times when I’m scared and trembling.
[T/N: The literal is “Won’t you love me?” but that word in this situation made me laugh so much and we all can blame my dirty thoughts]
“B-But Dad, I-I’m having a h-hard time right now. So c-can you p-please don’t shake me off…?”
“…”
During the days I swallowed my tears alone because I wanted to be loved.
The emotions accumulated in that way were instinctively engraved into the body.
“J-Just a little bit. W-Wait until it’s better in a while. L-Like this…”
As I felt my dad’s body scent, my heart, which had been beating rapidly, calmed down little by little.
This was also a bitter affair. The only existence that made Rubette stable was a family member with the same blood.
“…”
I desperately grabbed his neck and hung on it, fearing that if he pushed me away, the shock would make it hard to breathe again.
Fortunately, Dad didn’t loosen his arms for a very long time until I calmed down.
***
Gwang!
The door of Duke Diollus’ bedroom, which had rarely been opened first from the inside, opened.
In Leonard’s arms, as he strode across the hall, was Rubette.
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“Wh-What? Did the Duke come out of the room just now?”
“Why is the Princess…”
The maids who met each other doubted each other’s eyes and nodded.
Leonard, who had been walking nonstop, ran into someone and stopped.
“Leonard?”
A beautiful woman with gorgeous blonde hair and blue eyes.
The eldest madam of the family, the old duchess, the duke’s stepmother, who was only a year apart from Leonard, had just returned home.
Molga, who looked like she was on her way to Leonard’s room, was surprised by the encounter.
“W-What is this? What’s wrong with Rubette?”
“She looks sick. I am on my way to see the doctor.”
“O-Oh my God… Why all of a sudden?”
Molga, who had become contemplative, hurriedly tried to look at Rubette’s face. But Leonard walked past her, who was about to make a fuss, and narrowed his eyes in annoyance.
“Later.”
His voice was as cold as ever, but Molga felt uncharacteristic agitation and worry in the gap.
“Don’t do it, Leonard. Just go back to your room. You must have a hard time coming out.”
Molga, who hurriedly grabbed Leonard, called the maids next to her.
“What are you looking at? Come on, Rubette…”
“That’s enough.”
Leonard frowned and shook Molga’s arm away.
“I’ll look after her. You don’t need to worry about it and just get rid of your fatigue, Madam.”
“H-Hold on!”
Without a moment to spare, Leonard strode away and disappeared to the end of the hallway.
Molga, who had been stamping her feet while biting her lips anxiously, erased that expression from her face when Leonard had completely disappeared.
Soon, the doll-like beautiful face tilted slightly.
“She’s sick? What kind of shitty situation is this?”
***
Lying down in a cold sweat, Rubette muttered like a groan, half-consciously.
Her broken words were hard to understand, but they were clear to Leonard’s ears.
“You hate me…”
“I’m sorry.”
“Please don’t throw me away.”
“It appears to be a mental trauma disorder.”
“…What? Disorder?”
The doctor who looked at Rubette’s condition made a diagnosis.
The young doctor’s name is Aaron Muller.
He was a new recruit who was called by Leonard to check on Rubette’s condition. Despite being newly recruited, he was quite good.
He didn’t like the diagnosis of ‘disorder’ at all, but not liking it didn’t mean it didn’t exist.
Leonard asked sharply.
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve had a few experiences treating patients with these symptoms. They’re usually people who have experienced a shocking or frightening situation and then captured the memories of that time.”
“…”
“The disorder manifests itself in many ways. Like the Princess now, who often suffers from dreams or recollections of that time.”
“A shocking or frightening situation? How could a good-natured child go through such a situation at home?”
“It’s hard for me to guess because I don’t know everything about the Princess. However, among the patients I saw, there were soldiers who came back after seeing the horrors of the battlefield…”
“…”
“…They often remembered being abused physically and mentally as a child.”
Leonard paused at Aaron’s words.
“Have you ever seen the Princess overreacting or expressing anger? Or did she have negative thoughts… Ah, did she think she was rejected or abandoned?”
Leonard lowered his head stiffly and stared blankly at Rubette’s face.
“I fell on purpose to die.”
Those words.
She said it was a joke, but the reason he couldn’t ignore it was because of Rubette’s expression.
He remembered the image of his daughter, who seemed to have a lot of things piled up. The look in her eyes as she resented her indifferent father.
“…Yes. It seems there was.”
Aaron nodded his head without asking any further questions after seeing Leonard’s appearance.
“Is there any way to cure it?”
“For now, not really. Unfortunately, it is not a disease that can be treated with medication. Since it is a mental problem, it can be seen that the Princess needs to have her own will and the help of those around her most.”
“In what way?”
“If possible, why don’t you help with the treatment?”
“Me?”
“Yes. From what I’ve picked up, I know that the power of your spirit is related to hallucination.”
He was talking about Illusion, the spirit of fantasy, the spirit under Leonard.
“The patient will suffer from tremendous psychological pain while recalling a memory like this, so I think it can be a temporary treatment if you implant an illusion that can cover the painful memories.”
“What kind of illusion should I show her?”
Aaron pondered for a moment at Leonard’s question and then opened his mouth.
“The daily life that princesses usually wished for? Isn’t that what most noble ladies of this age would want?”
“…”
The daily life that Rubette wants.
“I wanted to eat, hang out with my dad, and whine like other daughters…”
Leonard, who was thinking with his eyes closed, nodded quietly.
“I see. Good work. I will call you back after I see how the child’s doing.”
“Yes, Your Grace. And one more thing about mental trauma disorder: hallucinations are only temporary treatments. In reality, please create a comfortable environment where the Princess can be happy.”
After that last piece of advice, Aaron packed his bag and left the room with a hat he had taken off.
In the room where only the two of them were left, Leonard stared at Rubette’s face for a long time.
‘An illusion.’
Will that help this child?
Leonard lived in his fantasies most of the 24 hours a day since his wife died 11 years ago.
It was painful for him to live and breathe, but it was not as painful when he dreamed of her.
But after waking up from the illusion, a terrible sense of loss took hold of him. He resorted to alcohol to fill the void and went back to sleep…
Repetition of such exhausting days.
‘Doesn’t the temporary illusion bring more pain? If I have to show a false dream…’
Leonard, who was thinking, paused.
The circumstances of Leonard, who wanted his wife who was not already in this world, with his daughter, were different.
What Rubette wants.
“I wanted to eat, hang out with my dad, and whine like other daughters…”
Even if she wakes up, that illusion could be made a reality.
“…Illusion.”
When Leonard’s low voice echoed in the still room, Illusion was summoned.
The spirit with a pure white female body answered while gently swimming in the air.
“Did you call, contractor?”
Leonard immediately ordered.
“Looks like my daughter is having a nightmare. Let her have good dreams.”
Illusion stopped at the unusual command and found Rubette lying down.
“If it’s a good dream, what would it be?”
Leonard, who was agonizing, slowly closed his eyes.
“Eat, hang out, and whine…”
“With my dad…”
It wasn’t difficult.
“With me…”
Leonard rose to his feet and said.
“It’s a dream in which we eat, hang out, and that child whines at me as much as she wants.”