Chapter 101 - 101
Chapter 101: Chapter 101
"So why are we doing this today?" Jaime asked, plopping down on the couch with a small bowl filled with popcorn, a pop in her hand. "I mean, I get October is a scary season on the whole but it feels weird to be doing this today instead of tomorrow."
Serenity smiled as she sat down next to Jaime while Nev scrolled through the different streaming services. "Because I am going to be busy tomorrow, remember?"
"Yeah!" Nev said with a snarky little smile. "Serenity is gonna meet up with her sugar daddy."
"Hey!" Serenity said with a laugh, scrunching up her nose. "Do NOT fucking calling Edwin my sugar daddy!"
"Sorry sorry... I guess if you are too much of a prude to suck him off then he can't really be his sugar daddy!"
"Come on!"
Jaime snorted at that. "Come on, you know he's fucking hot."
"Of course he is!" Serenity exclaimed. "I'm not blind."
"Anymore!" all three called out, a common joke amongst themselves.
Serenity was silent for several moments. "I tell you that I saw him naked?"
"No fucking way!" Nev cried out, turning away from the tv. "you are lying!"
"Swear to god."
"Get the fuck out of here."
"Hand to god," Serenity said, placing her palm to her chest. "Last Halloween. There was this whole thing... point is he ended up completely naked."
"...and?"
RING RING RING!
Serenity reached for the phone even as her friends pleaded her not to. "Shhh! It might be my mom... or Joey!" She wasn't supposed to have anyone over and knew that if her brother heard her friends he would rush over to babysit. "Hello?"
"Hi, I'm looking for Nancy?"
"Sorry, wrong number."
"Oh? I dialed 555-713-9666."
"And that's this number."
"Oh dear," the caller said, sounding disappointed. "I guess she gave me a wrong number."
"Sorry," Serenity said, feeling bad for the guy.
"I thought we hit it off good... we sat next to each other at the movies. She nearly jumped in my lap. It was a scary movie."
"Yeah, those movies will do that," Serenity stated, wanting to be nice to the man even as her friends silently motioned for her to get off the phone so they could get back to watching their horror films.
"Is that what you do that when you watch scary movies?"
"Yeah but that's the fun," she said.
"Yeah... it is. Tell me... what's your favorite scary movie?"
"Halloween," she said. "That one actually knows how to build tension. Its not all sudden jump scares and buckets of blood."
"That's right," the caller said. "Tension is good. Real good. It would be like me saying how you being all alone with your friends with no help should you get in trouble... causes tension."
Serenity paused. "...what?"
"Like I said," the caller purred, "it builds tension. What wouldn't build tension is me telling you that I'm gonna gut you like a fucking trout and leave your intestines littered in the entryway for your mother to find you stupid little bitch!" He snarled the last few words, making Serenity jump.
"I don't know who this is but I'm not going to play anymore-"
"You hang up that phone and I'll force you to watch as I kill your friends Nev and Jaime!" the caller roared. "Then I'm going to take your eyes, Serenity. I'm going to pop them out of that ditzy skull of yours and I'm going to make you eat them. That way for the rest of your SHORT life you won't know when I'll be coming back to finish you off! You'll always wonder if I'm right behind you!"
Serenity instantly went for her cellphone.
"Trying to call for help?" the caller taunted. "Go ahead... the cops will take fifteen minutes to get here... I only need 5 to gut your little friend Jaime. She'll go down quick. Nev might be a bit more trouble but I'll end her too. You get to be last though, Serenity. Aren't you special?"
"What is going on?" Nev asked, having grown concerned with how Serenity's mood had changed. "What is-"
"Shut up!" Serenity pleaded as she hit the speeddial. She didn't even wait once the ringing stopped, crying out, "Edwin, there is a killer here and-"
The closet door flew open and Nev and Jaime screamed... as Edwin stormed in with Mai, Renard, and Yuri waiting behind him, Edwin's apartment visible.
"Go," Edwin said curtly, Serenity ushering her friends towards Mai who held out her arms and gave the teen a hug. She tossed Edwin the phone, the blond man catching it easily.
"Captain?" Renard called out.
"Keep the door open. I won't be long." He glowered before lifting up the phone. "Hello."
"How the fuck did you get there?" the caller demanded.
"Everyone knows the movie monsters have teleporting powers," Edwin replied. "Jason, Michael..."
"You are going to tell me-"
"No," Edwin snarled. "You are going to listen REAL close Ghostface... because the movie just changed. You thought it was wise to go after those girls, slashing and slicing... and you'd just get away with it? Do you have ANY fucking idea what you've done?"
"You think I'm scared of some fucking rich boy?" Ghostface taunted. "You'll bleed just like the rest of them and then I'll find those little girls and make them watch as I rip out your heart and wave it in their faces! If they are still hiding in the closet they can enjoy me choking the life out of you before I carve your girlfriend's implants out!"
Edwin smirked.
"Allow me to give you my counteroffer," he whispered. "I am going to find you... and then I am to chop off your arms and legs. Now, before you go, "oh, that is bland and boring" let me inform you of something called 'The Boats'. See, that is where I take you and put your someplace special, where no one can interfere. And I'm going to force feed you milk and honey, so much your stomach is going to ache and you'll be spitting it up but I'll just make you drink that down too. And then I'll put some weights on your stomach until you shit yourself. Let you just build up being encrusted in that filth. Because that will attract the flies. They'll buzz and sting. It won't kill you though... but you'll wish it had. Because as they are doing that they are going to lay eggs in that shit... which will hatch into maggots that will find your improperly treated wounds and gorge themselves. You will watch as they burrow into your body and eat you from the inside out. If you are lucky you MIGHT die of septic shock but if I do it right you'll be alive long enough to feel them began gnawing on your organs before they turn into more flies that burst from your body."
"...what the fuck?" Ghostface whispered.
"I'm trying to be a better person," Edwin growled, his voice becoming a guttural snarl, "Trying to stop being a Devil. Then you show up and you decided that in a city of millions that it was a brilliant idea to try to hurt What! Is! MINE!"
With that he held out his hand, Gleipnir flying into his palm which he cracked once, sending the whip racing through the house. Gleipnir shot out, threading under doors, under furniture, around corners and into tight little spots. Edwin merely waited, tilting his head to the side as the whip followed him mental command as he-
There was a scream in the distance and Edwin smirked.
"One."
"Wait... wait!" a teen cried out over the phone, having dropped their voicechanger. "Just wait! We just-AAAAAAA!"
"Two," he sang, "Edwin's coming for you..." He began to walk further into the house, smirking as magic radiated off of him. Not Shadow Realm... something else. Something beautiful but also terrible, like the light of a blazing sun. He twisted his hand and there was a snap as the whip broke off bits of it that turned into glowing golden energy while Gleipnir reformed into his cane. Finally he came upon the two black cloaked figures, groaning and moaning in pain, trussed up nice and tight so they could barely do more than wiggle. "Now then," he nudged one with his foot, "normally I would just let the cops deal with you. I might... break a few bones-" He slammed his foot down and one of the Ghostfaces screamed in agony as he shattered their ankle, "Or perhaps I would make sure didn't have a chance to chase after me." He spun around and drove his foot into the second Ghostface's chest, shattering their sternum.
"Edwin!" Yuri called out. "What was that?"
"But then I remembered that the cops are fucking useless!" He slammed his cane against the ground and the two killers screamed as the bonds around their bodies tightened. "So it seems I must do things myself. The monster that kills the monsters. Now... I could dump you in Africa... or Antarctica... or maybe in the middle of the ocean... and watch you try and live. Even though... a deep seated part of me that I hate to admit exists... just wants to watch you suffer and die. Because I don't care why you decided to do this. You can have whatever pathetic, lame, whimpering, 'here is the secret from the past' bullshit justification what you want... I don't care. You want to hurt people. Kill people. Because you are fucked up little- hey!" He grabbed one of the killers by the hood and forced their head forward. "Pay fucking attention here, this is important!" He slammed their head to the ground. "I want you to suffer. That's the problem with these movies... the killer gets a quick clean death when all I ever thought was they should know pain. Yet... I'm supposed to be the nice guy. The good guy. And my conscious won't let me live with myself if I put more blood on my hands."
He paused.
"But then I remembered something."
"Red flag guys!" Yuri called out. "Red Flag!"
"Filler arc, bitches," he declared.
"Wha... what?" one of the two Ghostfaces whimpered. The two struggled against their bonds as Edwin squatted down, smile growing all the sharper, the Millennium Key emerging from his chest.
"Punishment Game," he whispered.
Renard motioned for Mai to take the girls to another room as the Ghostfaces began to scream.
~MC~MC~MC~
"Spooky bells, spooky bells, spooky all the way!" Joey sang as the gang road up the elevator towards Edwin's condo. They were all decked out in Halloween gear, their costumes wrapped up and on hangers or in their backpacks. Joey, for example, had on a hat that resembled the Red-Eyes Necro Zombie Dragon, including a single light to represent its glowing eye. "Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-ghoul open slay!"
"Joey, I don't think those are the words," Yugi said, shifting his backpack before pulling on his black t-shirt. It had skeletal versions of the Dark Magician and Dark Magician Girl on it and he'd been thrilled that it arrived in the mail in time for him to wear.
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"Aw, come on Yug!" Joey exclaimed. "There ain't no good Halloween songs ta sing! And we're gonna need somethin' ta do durin' that hayride!"
"We could sing Thriller-" Koyo suggested only for everyone to whip around and shush him. "What?"
"Edwin banned Thriller," Tea hissed. She said, in a louder voice, "Edwin, I'm in the elevator so please don't send it plummeting to our doom!"
"You really think he could do that?" Tristan asked.
"At this point I would be shocked if he couldn't."
"...good point," Tristan admitted.
Yugi, seeing that the elevator was going to continue on, let out a sigh of relief before turning to Joey. "We could sing the Monster Mash. Or the Ghostbusters theme."
"...eh, I like my way better. Have yourself a very spooky Halloween! Let your days be fright!"
The teens all shook their heads. Honestly it was just nice for them to be able to relax and enjoy Halloween.
"We really needed this, huh?" Duke said as they stepped out of the elevator and walked to Edwin's door... which was a touch odd considering Edwin and his uncle held the entire floor to themselves. "After the tournament-"
"The tournament!" Tea exclaimed, suddenly look about, eyes wide in shock. "We... we were just on the blimp! How did we get here!" She pulled on her orange and black spider web top. "WHERE DID WE GET THESE CLOTHES!?"
"Uh... we bought'em, Tea," Joey said, Duke and Koyo nodding in agreement. Tea looked to Tristan who just shrugged, then Yugi who was looking at her, concerned by her outburst. Tea searched their faces for some recognition that just a few hours ago they'd been on a blimp in the middle of the ocean and now they were back in Domino. But she found none, causing the young woman to run her fingers through her hair, stress levels rapidly rising.
"But... no... we were-"
The door to Edwin's condo opened and Mai smiled as she leaned against the frame, her normal shirt and jacket replaced with a long sleeve shirt that declared "Resting Witch Face". "Huh... should have figured when you and Edwin adopted each other that his world awareness would rub off on you, Tea. Welcome to the club, it is NOT fun." She motioned for the teens to come inside.
"What ya talkin' 'bout, Mai?" Joey asked as he entered, hanging up his jacket.
"That we're in a filler arc."
"A whaaaa?"
Koyo was the one that spoke up. "Its an anime thing. When they have an episode that has nothing to do with the main plot and is designed to just take up time. You know... filler." He though tilted his head in confusion. "Not quite sure why you are referencing it now."
Tea just stared at her newest friend. "We were on the blimp, Koyo! We were on the blimp and now we are here!"
"...okay?"
"Are you feeling okay, Tea?" Yugi said with concern, taking her hand.
"What is going on?!" Tea screeched.
Mai walked over and wrapped an arm around her. "Let me handle it." She smiled sweetly at the teens before leading Tea into the kitchen, leaving the guys to look around Edwin's place. She heard them all commenting on the decorations he'd set out... otherwise known as all the 'spooky' toys he had displayed. Universal Monster figures (with Tristan complaining about the Frankenstein's Monster being 'offensive' after the previous Halloween), a Transformer that looked like Dracula, Ghost Beanie Babies, and other 'cute' spooky items.
Cracking open a large party tray Mai pulled out two pumpkin-shaped sugar coats and thrust them into Tea's hand before going to the fridge and pulling out some apple cider along with some pumpkin spice creamer, moving to the coffee maker (which Tea dimly realized MUST have been bought just for Mai since Edwin hated coffee) and grabbed two mugs that looked like mummies.
"Cider or coffee?"
"Coffee, please," Tea said found herself saying, "we'll get enough cider at the orchard." Mai nodded and put the jug back. "Mai... what is going on?"
"Edwin Bullshit." She shrugged. "We're still workshopping a codeword for it. Basically this is something that has happened to us... I guess forever. We just didn't notice it until Edwin gave us his multiverse STD."
Tea screwed up her face at that. "Could we call it something else? Edwin and me?" She wiggled her hands back and forth. "Uh, no thank you?"
"Really?" Mai said, sounding rather surprised. She smirked, lifting up her coffee cup. "And here I thought I'd have to worry about you and Edwin..."
"Ew. No no no. He's handsome but... no."
"...it's the beard, isn't it?" Mai teased.
"Ugh. It looks good on HIM... but I don't want it on ME." Mai laughed at that and Tea took a sip from her coffee cup. "So... this is Edwin's fault?"
"Because he's not from this world he's able to see when weird things like the filler arcs happen. We don't notice it... until we get close enough to him and then suddenly our eyes are open." She leaned in towards Tea. "When did you notice?"
"Elevator," Tea said. "You?"
"Last Halloween. Edwin was trying to explain filler arcs and suddenly I remembered we had been heading towards the blimp and suddenly I'm in Edwin's kitchen eating breakfast." Mai snagged a cookie. "On the plus side you don't need to deal with the tedious stuff."
"What do you mean?"
"All this food? Edwin didn't buy it. He didn't decorate either. We wake up and its already set up. Halloween costumes too."
Tea nodded at that. "Is there anyone else...?"
"Yuri and Renard are close, I think. They notice that things aren't quite right and Edwin has tried to explain fillers to them but its like with Wyatt: they hear what he is saying but its not fully registering. I'm hoping they will begin registering it soon, as it will make things less... awkward."
"What do you mean?"
"Whoa Ed!" Joey called out. "Cool costume, man!"
Tea stepped out of the kitchen to see Edwin...
...in a straight jacket with a mask around his mouth, secured to a dolly cart that Renard was pushing from the bedroom.
"Ya look like that guy... ya know... Hannibal Buress."
"So close, Joey, so close," Edwin commented.
"Why is Edwin dressed up already?" Tea asked.
"He isn't," Mai said with a sigh. "There was an... incident... and we are keeping him tied up for a little while."
"Our friends are here," Edwin said cheerfully. He tried to turn his head towards Yuri. "So hey, let's get me out of all this."
"You can be released when you stop being crazy," Yuri informed him, patting him on the cheek. Edwin, for his part, glowered at her for that.
Tea just tilted her head.
"Explain."
Mai sighed. "He tried to kill some high school students."
"WHAT?!" Tea screamed, only for Mai to quickly reach over and cover her mouth.
"Hey Mai!" Joey called out. "What was dat?"
"Nothing!" she called out sweetly.
"Ya sure? Sounded like Tea!"
"Just our periods!"
Joey let out "eeeehhhh" at that. "I'll leave ya to that!"
Mai let out a sigh of relief. "Thank god all boys are dumb when it comes to stuff like that." She looked at Tea. "Will you listen to me and not scream?" Tea managed a nod and Mai pulled her hand away. "The teenagers were would-be serial killers and were going after Serenity."
Tea frowned at that. "...so why are we not throwing Edwin a parade?"
That had Mai snickering. "I know it was traumatic for you, Tea, but I so do love that Earth-2 had you grow a vicious streak! Makes you so much more interesting!" Picking up the tray she motioned for Tea to follow her back into the dining room, Tea snagging their coffee cups. "Okay, I have treats for everyone! Yuri, I think Edwin can have that mask off at least."
Yuri chuckled as she undid the Velcro straps. "Now, be a good boy and try not to bite anyone."
"I am going to remember this," Edwin said darkly. "I am going to remember this and make you all suffer!"
"Aw, its so cute you think you can terrorize us anymore." Yuri patted him on the cheek.
"You know, patronizing me as not being a threat doesn't work when I'm tied to this dolly!" Edwin struggled against his straight jacket.
"Hey Edwin?" Tristan said softly, walking up to him and looking over the restraints, "Why don't you just use your Millennium Key to get out of there?"
"This has clasps and knots. No locks. The key is useless."
Renard cheerfully chimed in, "It is why we plan to have garlic knots for supper tonight... his greatest weakness."
"I hate all of you," Edwin muttered even as Mai leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"Just prove you aren't crazy and we'll let you go... or wait till the Filler Arc is over with. Honestly I'm wondering if your brain is still screwed up from being the Invisible Man."
Yugi though shook his head. "But Mai, that was last Halloween!"
Tea and Mai shared a look.
"So," Koyo said as he sat down in one of the dining room chairs, "what exactly is this Apple Orchard like?"
"Fun for the whole family, so Edwin will be happy," Yuri teased. Tea merely smirked at that; her sister had always been far more into scares and horrors than she was and frankly Tea was glad that Edwin, because he was footing the bill, was ensuring that things were far more tame. Walking over to a side table Yuri grabbed a brochure and began to scan through it. "There is a hayride where we'll get to see the entire orchard, Pumpkin Carving, make your own candy and caramel apples, a cornfield maze, a full bakery and a gift shop, and demonstrations of archery and axe throwing. And of course they will be having sandwiches for everyone."
"Sounds like it will be a blast!" Tristan declared.
Renard nodded. "And after that we have reservations at Mariano's and then we head back here to get changed for the party."
"So now we just need to avoid being turned into things," Mai muttered. "I'd like to for once get through a single Halloween NOT becoming a monster."
"Don't worry, I handled our little Parker Problem," Edwin stated.
Everyone just stared hard at him.
"He's alive!" the tied up man groused.
~MC~MC~MC~
"It's the darnedest thing, Warden," Officer Barnes said with a shake of his head. "Arrived just this morning. Not sure why KaibaCorp donated over a thousand graphic novels and trade paperbacks to us..."
Warden Rin shrugged. "Well, at least Parker is happy." He gestured at the inmate who was happily sorting through all the comics, not a care in the world.
~MC~MC~MC~
Along the well maintained yet lonesome road a rather garish looking van rumbled along.
It was a teal color that managed to be both muted and eyecatching at the same time with a green color that wasn't neon or bright but also not one people would call 'tasteful'. The pattern these colors took created the image of a green sky and blue rolling hills along the bottom half of the vehicle while the top half was a teal frame bordering green. To break this all up was the use of orange in the flowers painted on the sides, two each and one of the front spare tire cover, as well as letters in the frame that proudly proclaimed the vehicle THE MYSTERY MACHINE.
"Gee, Daphne," Fred said as he looked out the window of the Mystery Machine, "it sure was nice of your Great Aunt to fly us out to Japan to spend the month with her." Fred patted the dashboard. "And have the Mystery Machine brought here too!"
Velma though shook her head at that. "I do think it was a bit wasteful. We could have just rented a car."
"Aw, come on, Velma!" Fred declared. "The Mystery Machine is a part of the team!"
"Oh yeah?" Shaggy chimed in. "And when is the last time it got chased through a haunted mansion, man!"
(LAUGHTER)
"Ra!" Scooby declared. "Ret rit ret rased!"
"If you don't think its part of the team then I guess it doesn't need to carry around your condiment suitcase," Fred teased.
"Hey man, let's not say things we're gonna regret!"
(LAUGHTER)
Daphne chimed in. "As for Great Aunt Gertie I think she would have airlifted all our houses if I asked. She's really been lonely ever since Uncle Goz disappeared. She's been really looking forward to this trip."
"Uh, Daph?" Shaggy said nervously. "This isn't gonna turn inta some kind of search for your Uncle where we discover some ancient family curse, right?"
"Oh no, not at all!" Daphne assured him. "Uncle Goz just disappeared when a business deal fell through, that's all!"
"Rell, rif rats rall!" Scooby replied, relived.
(LAUGHTER)
Fred smiled as he continued driving along. "Well, no matter what I'm glad that your Great Aunt Gertie invited us to visit. Very rare to get a chance to see another country."
"Which is why we are making our first stop be an American-style apple orchard," Velma teased.
(LAUGHTER)
"Well, I'm for one all for this!" Shaggy declared with a grin. "It'll be nice to actually have a vacation where we aren't chased by ghosts or ghouls or goblins or anything like that! Nope... just fun and relaxation."
"Rand rood, Raggy!" Scooby declared.
"Well of course there will be food, Scooby!" Shaggy declared.
(LAUGHTER)
"What makes you think we won't run into a mystery in Japan, Shaggy?"
"Aw, come on Fred!" Shaggy said with a laugh. "We left all that kind of stuff back in America! All them goopy and gross things are across the sea and we are here in the peaceful lands of the rising sun!"
Velma though had pulled out a book from her bag. "Well, you are right, Shaggy. There aren't any ghosts or vampires or the like in Japan."
"See, told ya!"
"In Japan they believe in all sorts of different spooky things."
"Yeah, they... wait, what?"
(LAUGHTER)
"Here instead of calling them ghosts they call spirits Yūrei. Probably one of the most famous is the Kuchisake-onna, on the split face woman. She walks up to people while wearing a surgical mask and asks if they think she is beautiful. If they say no she kills them by driving a pair of scissors into their head. If they say yes she removes her mask to reveal that her mouth has been split from ear to ear. If you still say yes she will then do the same to you."
"I... I... I..."
"As for vampires there are the yuki-onna. Of course there is some debate if she is more of a ghost or a vampire but she still sucks your soul out."
"G-g-g-ghost vampires?"
"Roh ro," Scooby said, biting on his nails.
(LAUGHTER)
"They also believe in japan that many normal objects can become possessed by spirits. So your tv remote, your shoes, even your lunch-"
"Like, come on Velma!" Shaggy whined, hugging Scooby. "Now you'll have me fearing eating my lunch!"
"Maybe you should go on," Fred told her with a smirk. "Would be nice if we could get through one meal without Shaggy and Scooby stealing all the food."
(LAUGHTER)
"And it doesn't matter anyway," Daphne replied. "Because there are no such things as ghosts."
"Rosts, raybe. Rut Rurei?" Scooby shivered.
"Yūrei aren't real either," Daphne said with a wave of her hand. "Now come on, let's enjoy the day. This orchard is supposed to be really nice."
"And we checked," Fred said, turning back to glance at Shaggy and Scooby, "it is family friendly and with almost no scares. There isn't even a haunted house."
"Well, I guess if its nice and safe," Shaggy said, settling back down in the back of the van. "Come on Scoob, let's get to work on our pre-orchard snacks!"
"Reah!" Scooby said, opening up a cooler and pulling out several items... including an entire warm turkey.
(LAUGHTER)
~MC~MC~MC~
"This is degrading on several levels," I complained.
"Next time don't go crazy," Renard stated.
Rather than untie me and actually let me walk around the orchard the gang had decided it was safer to keep me wrapped up, just in case I decided to make a portal and go find those two punks that had tried to hurt Serenity and her friends. And because they hadn't wanted to bring the dolly cart they had decided the next option was to have me carried around in a giant-size baby bjorn, which was attached to the chest of-
"I do not like this either!" PaniK complained. He pulled on the straps of the baby bjorn, causing me to bounce slightly.
"You can always go back to the Shadow Realm," the Pharaoh told the recently retrieved duelist.
"I love this plan and I am happy to be a part of it," PaniK said quickly as he shifted me slightly.
"I still hate all of you," I muttered.
"Maybe if you are good I'll let your hands go free," Mai said, patting me on the cheek. "And besides... I am getting ideas for how we can use that straight jacket."
"Oh really?" PaniK said with a purr.
"I was talking to Edwin."
"Oh," the larger man said, dipping his head before looking at Mai. "But why would you want to be with a weakling like him and not a strong man like me?"
"You assaulted her after your duel?" Tristan said.
I thrashed a little at that, a reminder of what the bastard had done to my girlfriend.
"Tristan, stop," Tea said, walking over and stroking my head. "You're upsetting the baby."
"All of my hate!" I roared as we reached the gates of the Shadowview Mill and Orchard. While it looked pleasant enough, with fresh paint on the wooden archway and pumpkins set out with arrows drawn on them, it was the fact that despite the bright and sunny day there was no one around that began to worry me. "Uh... did we arrive early?"
Joey looked through the brochure. "Nah, man. 'corrdin' ta dis we're right on time!"
"Then where is everyone?" Yuri said. "There isn't a soul around."
"My filler arc sense is tingling," I muttered, Mai coming up to stand next to me.
"What are you thinking?" she whispered.
"I'm really hoping that this isn't Japanese Chainsaw Massacre. PaniK, you fast at running?"
"Went to nationals in high school."
"...huh," I said in surprise.
"Well, at least we aren't the only ones here," Tristan said, pointing to a rather familiar and to me famous van that had just pulled up.
"Oooooh noooo," I ground out.
"Edwin?" Tea whispered. "What's wrong?"
"Filler. Arc. Bullshit." I got out as the van came to a stop and out of it emerged the Scooby Doo gang.
"Hey guys, look!" Velma called out. "Its Yugi Muto, the King of Games!"
"And Mai Valentine!" Daphne said with a grin. "I love your blog! Your tips on eyeliner... I just... oh!" she grinned, unable to speak anymore.
"You have a blog?" I asked Mai, surprised.
"I have to do something while you are at work annoying Kaiba," she teased.
"And hey, Edwin Chaos!" Fred said. "He's the owner of CCN."
"The future owner," I commented before twisting my head and frowning as I looked off to the side. "Have any of us considered how weird it is that I will eventually have power in THREE massive companies?"
"We've learned to just shrug and accept it," Renard said as all of Mystery Inc moved to join us.
"I feel like I'm surrounded by royalty, man!" Shaggy declared. "Though I guess with the King of Games here I really am!"
(LAUGHTER)
"What was that?!" Tea said, suddenly looking around.
Mai and I just shared a look. "Filler Arc Bullshit."
"Hey, don't sell yourselves short!" Yugi said. "You guys are the famous Mystery Inc! I am a huge fan of your work."
"...since when?" Tea asked, confused.
"What are you talking about, Tea?" Duke said. "Yugi has been crazy about Mystery Inc ever since I met him. I don't know if a day has gone by where he hasn't mentioned them."
"...what?" Tea got out.
"Tea?" I called out, wiggling my head to get her to come near me. "Listen... this is all Filler Arc Bullshit."
"FAB for short?" PaniK suggested.
"That... is actually a good acronym." I glanced up at PaniK. "You know if you drop the whole "I am the Master of Fear" thing you aren't that terrible. I might see about letting you stick around. Sure James could use help at CCN." The massive duelist beamed at that. "I'm getting PaniK a redemption arc."
"Edwin..." Tea said slowly. "FAB?"
"Right, FAB," I replied. "So in Fillers things get... wonky. Have you noticed how we're all a bit more jokey and goofy?"
Tea frowned only to start when she truly looked at me. "Oh my god we put you in a baby bjorn."
"Got it in one." I muttered.
"Is that why last Christmas Eve I spent a hour looking at feet pics-"
"Yes and let's never bring that up again," I commented. "None of this counts so pretty much the world's filter has been destroyed." I shrugged. "Sometimes things bleed over, of course. My morpher for one. Hopefully PaniK if he keeps acting like a sane and rational person." PaniK quickly bobbed his head up and down; it was clear his time being Mind Crushed and banished to the Shadow Realm had caused him to actually Take of Level In Kindness. 'Hint hint TVtropes... why did I even think that?' I shook my head. "The point is that its going to be frustrating and maddening for you. You're going to see your friends do things that make no sense. Act in ways that have you wanting to tear your hair out. You just have to grumble and bear it."
"Did... did I do anything like that to you?"
"Other than you turning into the Baroness?" I asked. "No, I think you're actually good."
Tea nodded at that, watching as Yugi talked animatedly with Fred. Honestly he was nearly as excited as he had been when he'd gotten that VHS tape from Pegasus, right before that went to hell. "So, crazier adventures, more jokey, and while none of this should technically matter there might be some bleed through?"
"Yeah... if we can get our hands on a morpher I can see about making you a Power Ranger," I offered. "Huh... I need to get Mai's morpher back from the Broken Symmetry. Could do that and get yours right now if you untied me..."
Tea merely smirked. "Not on your life, Edwin." She looked over at Mai. "So, is there any way to avoid all this insanity?"
"Last April Fool's Day Edwin and I spent the entire day having sex." Mai slowly slid her eyes up and down Tea's form, causing the girl to blush. "I mean, I know you two have this whole brother/sister thing going on buuuuutttt..."
"PaniK!" I screamed as the large duelist began to sway from the sensory overload he was getting from Mai's suggestion. "PaniK, focus!"
"So," Fred said, "what brings you guys all out here?"
"We are doing some fun Halloween stuff before the big KaibaCorp Halloween Party," Koyo stated.
Duke nodded. "Edwin over there is a scaredy cat so we have to keep it as mellow as possible."
"Man, ain't nothin' wrong with being scared!" Shaggy declared. "I'm scared most of the time!"
(LAUGHTER)
Tristan grinned. "You guys should join us! We could even get you invites to the party tonight!"
"Well," Velma said slowly, "we don't have anything really planned for tonight..."
"Oh, but we don't have costumes!" Daphne complained.
Mai though waved them off. "We can get you taken care of. Plenty of people wait til the very last minute to get their costumes, so we can easily find you guys some stuff when we get back to Domino."
"That's great!" Fred said. "The perfect way to kick off our vacation!"
"Rey! Re rould rave ra ruel!" Scooby suddenly said.
"...huh?" I said, tilting my head as I tried to follow what Scooby was saying.
"That's a great idea, Scoob!" Shaggy declared. "One moment, guys, I need to grab something!"
"Man, da way dat guy talks sure is weird, huh?" Joey whispered without a single lick of self-recognition to us. "I mean, just imagine havin' ta go through life soundin' like dat?"
After a moment Shaggy returned... holding a teal, green, and orange duel disc.
"Oooooh noooo," I groaned out.
"So Yugi how about you and I have a quick duel man!"
There was a flash of light from the puzzle and suddenly the Pharaoh was in control. "You are on, Shaggy! I will be more than happy to duel you."
"Wow," Tea whispered, leaning in towards me. "I never noticed that when the Pharaoh takes over..."
"Its wild, isn't it?" I said with a slight smirk.
"It is. And... you always notice that?"
"I do. Mai sees it too, now, and I bet you will as well."
"Freaky." Tea paused. "But cool."
"I think what's freaky is that Yugi didn't bring his duel disc yet he suddenly has it." Mai shook her head. "FAB."
"FAB," Tea and I echoed.
"Like, prepare yourself, man!" Shaggy declared, pointing at the Pharaoh. "Cuss its time to duel!"