Cheat Cultivator's Ascension

Chapter 34: Comedic Partners



"Such a fine sunny day, and here I am guarding for a secret realm that juniors will explore" a man with a messy appearance and lethargic voice said.

If one were to observe his appearance closely, he's quite young, appearing to be in his mid-30s at most, but his unkempt face makes him appear a decade older, the only thing that is clean in all his being is the sword in his back, in a simple but neat scabbard with its black colored handle the only thing exposed

"Maybe you should stop complaining about everything Old Jian, who knows, you might be able to find more things to enjoy other than lazing around" a fat man with an amiable smile, said as he gestured holding his hands out, causing all kind of beings to gather around him.

"Look at this old buddha bragging about being friend with nature, how about you find some human friend instead of hanging around animals and critter" the sword bearing man taunted, causing veins to bulge in the fat man's head, reciting a sutra in order to calm himself down.

"Look at you two, bantering around like immature kids, how about you act like your age for once?" seeing the two of them, another figure, appearing to be quite young looking like he's at his late 20s, joined the fray, jabbing an insult, but this time, the insult was laced with ill intent, his voice mocking and his gaze disdainful, causing the others following behind him to laugh, looking at the lady travelling beside her though, only smiling politely as if acting just to avoid embarrassing him, makes him a bit displeased, and this displeasure increased even further when the two he's mocking started retorting.

"Hong Lei, how about you shut your trash mouth when talking to people better than you?" the sword bearing man said, his tone annoyed as if there's a fly buzzing around him.

"Old Jian, you're too soft, you dare call this waste of air trash? Even trash could be recycled, even shit can be fertilizer but look at this… thing… I won't even accept something like this even if you were to pay me to have it" the fat man immediately followed up, insulting the young-looking man further.

"You-" the young-looking man, Hong Lei, tried retorting but was cut by the sword bearing man.

"You're right old buddha, this… just like you called him, pathetic thing, looks so peculiar, sticking out like sore thumb wherever he goes, aiyah, my apologies, let me offer my apologies for the sore thumb that I used to compare this thing with" the sword bearing man said as he scratches the back of his head, eliciting a loud laugh from the fat man, that asks him.

"Makes me wonder why there's someone like him despite our realm right?" the fat man snickers while side eyeing the young-looking man.

"That's not right old buddha, I mean isn't it obvious why?" the sword bearing man asked as if to educate the fat man.

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"Why is it Old Jian?" the fat man decided to ride along his good friend's pun.

"When we're a Body Tempering brat, there's a lot of idiots around, thinking that the idiots will be significantly reduced once we break through Qi Refining, we're surprised to find out that there's still a lot of idiots hanging around! Now, thinking that this kind of people will eventually disappear as we climb further and further, what a surprise!!!

The idiots were never lost, in fact, we seem to encounter them a lot more as we reach higher levels, as if idiocy is a contagious disease."

"Then shouldn't we get away here now Old Jian?" the fat man, hearing his friend pause for a while decided it would be a good time to steal his joke.

"Why is that?" the sword bearing man, seemingly displeased being interrupted asked impatiently.

"Because there's someone infected here, he might transfer the idiocy disease to us?" the fat man said, causing the two of them to laugh, even the men following the young-looking man was trying their best not to laugh, the lady beside him giggling while covering her face with a fan, making the young-looking man enraged.

"How about you go there and guide the other guardians dear? I'll deal with the two of them" the lady beside the young-looking man said, causing the young-looking man to agree immediately as if to fawn over her, rushing in the distance towards the other approaching powerful cultivators.

"Makes me wonder why you agree marrying him little Yan" the fat man said as he stares towards the young-looking man in the distance, looking towards the lady with pity as if she's suffered something.

"It's the master's order after all, and junior sister respects him too much" the sword bearing man said as he looks far away, recalling the good times together not caring about anything else, until their master eventually changes and started using them as tools to obtain what he wants.

"Forget about it, it's been so many years already, and I already have a daughter. While I still resent master for doing so, it's not like nothing good happens, one of the good things happening being my daughter.

I just find it annoying whenever that man wags his tail like a dog in front of me, I just don't like that kind of guy" the lady said as she stares towards Hong Lei in disdain, thinking how much of a wimp he is.

"Well, me and Old Jian will try our best to help little Yan, just, our strength is not enough to deal with Lei Hong's backing yet" the fat man said as he smiled wryly, finding himself helpless when thinking about the monster protecting Lei Hong in the dark.

"Just the thought is enough, I, Li Yan is thankful to senior brothers" the lady said to comfort the two, before asking them to go towards the area where the other juniors will gather to guide them to the secret realm entrance.

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Three figures, one female and two males are running across a forest, leaving behind only their shadows despite the complex terrain, eventually arriving in a clearing with plenty of other people about their age gathering around.

"Sister, looks like a lot of tokens was distributed" one of the young men, with a gentle and friendly appearance said to the lady accompanying them, the lady looking like a cold empress as she scans the surrounding.

"See Brother Tian? I told you that we're about to be cannon fodders here" the young man continues talking, but now towards the other young man as he expresses his worries coming true.

Seeing this, the other young man moves to punch which the one just speaking dodged, the speed in which they acted makes other Pedestal Establishment Realm cultivators to doubt their eyes.

After showing off, the other young man started speaking, "Ling Feng, stop acting like a wimp, will you? It's not like I don't know how strong you are, there's no use pretending in front of me" the other young man, handsome and masculine in appearance with a bright sharp gaze like a sword forged by a master craftsman, replied as he looks towards the other one in disdain.

"Damn it Su Tian, why should you expose me like that?! I was waiting for someone dumb enough to fall for my 'playing pig to eat the tiger' act so that I can show off and catch some ladies, but here you are ruining the whole thing!!!"

"As if someone would be dumb enough to─" Wu Xiaotian, before even completing his statement was proven wrong, as a group of young men at Intermediate State Pedestal Establishment Realm starts approaching them, their eyes never leaving their eyes on the lady, Hua Xian'er, going with the two of them.

After arriving near enough, the leader of the group spoke as if to provoke the two, "Lady, how about you leave those two idiots and go with us big brothers? I'll promise it will be so much better"

Thinking that his time to show off finally came, Ling Feng's eyes glowed with excitement as he thinks of a cool line to say before beating them up, but he was thinking too much as Hua Xian'er already dealt with it.

"Scram!!!" Releasing the aura of a Nascent Source cultivator, she only needs one word to make the group go back to wherever they come from, with their tails tucked between their legs.

Seeing all of this happening, Ling Feng wanted to cry but has no tears, and the only thing he can do is complain and shout in his mind, 'Why won't you allow me to show off?!!'


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