Chapter 435: V-Tuber Audition
「I've been expecting you, Danna-sama. Please have a seat」
As prompted by Chihiro, I sat down on the chair.
This was the media room located within the KKO office.
The room had monitors installed on one side of the eight-tatami mat room, and it was used for previewing various video works.
「So, what do you want to talk about today?」
When I asked, she smiled and said, "There is a reason why I asked you to come all the way here, Danna-sama."
「Well, I figured that much. So, what is it?」
「The entertainment industry is a world where people are always looking for the best. Therefore, we at KKO need to stay ahead of the times. That's why I'm thinking of embarking on producing V-tubers」
「What, now!? We're not ahead of the times, we're way behind! We're lagging behind in the race!」
「Don't worry. Even if we're behind, as long as we're at the front, we'll look like top runners」
「What kind of ridiculous theory is that!?」
In my mind, Chihiro was a serious person who kept my harem in check, but maybe she got corrupted by Lolisla or something, unfortunately, it seems that her position needs to be reevaluated.
「Anyway, we're planning to produce our first V-tuber at KKO, and I would like to ask you, Danna-sama, to be the judge for the audition」
「I already have a bad feeling about this, but... is it going to be okay?」
「Don't worry. However, it will take time to recruit from the general public, so I've decided to pick up candidates from the breeding pool」
「Breeding pool?」
「Simply put, your harem, Danna-sama」
「You're treating them like they're just animals! And besides, I can only see a future of chaos from that plan!」
**a
I'm not proud of it, but there are only a few people in my harem whom I can present in public with confidence. Of course, it is not a matter of appearance.
(Kurosawa-san and Akira are both regular talents, so they're not included. Then, maybe Shima-san... no, she can't function without a partner who can act as the 'straight man' to her jokes, so it wouldn't work. The only one left would be Ryouko?)
「First, please take a look at this」
The room went dark, and the monitor turned on
On the screen, an avatar of a blonde, angelic young girl with white wings appeared. Her white one-piece dress gives her a neat and clean look, and her smiling face is cute.
「Wow, she's surprisingly decent...and cute, I think」
「I asked Pe*-sensei (ぺ*先生) to design it for me, so...」
「Wait, you're kidding! Don't say that! We'll get in trouble!」
「And here's her character profile」
The paper that Chihiro presented to me had this written on it.
『An angel who was watching the world from heaven and became greatly excited by the sight of strong men wrestling. She descended to earth out of love. A sumo-loving angel, Dosukoi☆Angie.』
「Are you crazy? How did she end up like this!?」
「Is that so? I don't know why. Lili and I were laughing like crazy while coming up with this idea late at night」
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「You know exactly what caused it!」
The combination of late-night energy and Lili's sense is clearly a recipe for disaster.
「By the way, the character wears a 'mawashi (loincloth)' under her dress」
「I don't need that setting!」
**b
Surprised, Chihiro tilted her head as if she didn't expect that reaction.
「Don't you want to see a beautiful girl in a 'mawashi'?」
「...」
No comment.
In just three seconds, I had considered suggesting a "Doki-doki! Wrestling Maid Competition with Lots of Mawashi" event.
But I couldn't say it out loud, because if I did, I might be accused of having a crazy "Mawashi fetish," and my faithful maids might actually wear Mawashi.
I cough and change the subject.
「So, what should I do?」
「We have several candidates waiting online to act as the avatar and showcase their acting and speaking skills. You can judge their performance. In order to avoid potential bias, I've asked them to change their voices with a voice changer」
「I see, so you want me to judge purely on their acting and talking skills, is that it?」
「Exactly, Danna-sama」
Chihiro nodded and raised her voice to the monitor.
「Alright then, let's start with the first one!」
Immediately, an avatar of a blonde-haired young girl with angel wings starts to move on the screen. Her expressions were rich.
Then, just as the young girl on the screen smiled, she suddenly struck a pose like a transformation sequence of a superhero.
『Nice to meet you! As big and small waves approach, let's tighten our makeup. In times of trouble, I summon the Kokugikan (a large indoor arena in Tokyo, Japan used for Sumo), where the dohyo (sumo ring) becomes my magic circle! Lovely Angel of Love and Sumo, Dosukoi☆Angie, descending here, "Devi"!』
「That's such a lame punchline!!」
The voice changer doesn't work. I couldn't help but feel a headache.
**c
I wonder if she's okay with her identity as a devil.
「Hey, Lili...」
「Lili? Who are you talking about, Devi? Dosukoi☆Angie is an angel, Devi」
「You said "Devi" just now. What's the point of a devil selling their soul to an angel?」
「Uh, um, Angie isn't a devil, Jake」
「Selling your soul to a salmon is even worse!!」
I wonder if this guy only have two ways of ending her sentences.
As I thought so, Chihiro timidly asks a question.
「Is she rejected, by any chance?」
「Why would you think there's a possibility of being chosen!?」
「Sigh... I guess there's nothing I can do. Thank you very much for entry number one. Next, we would like to invite the second one」
I was exhausted after the first person.
I don't know who the second person is, but surely being inappropriate is worse than being a devil.
...Or so I thought, but the avatar on the screen suddenly stopped moving.
「Uh...what's wrong?」
「Is it trouble?」
「Hold on, let me try to contact her」
**a
Chihiro picks up her phone and starts to make a call. After two rings, there is some silence, then someone picks up. Then Chihiro opens her mouth.
「Um, this is Chihiro, what's up? Huh? "You don't know which channel the internet is on?" No, not a TV channel. I mean on your computer...what? You don't have a computer? Not with a TV! But you said you had a microphone for Grandpa's 8-track karaoke! It doesn't fit into the jack? That won't work? I see... Okay, well, that's too bad this time」
Chihiro hung up the phone, let out a sigh, turned to me, and said
「There's equipment trouble」
「And you're just going to let it go!?」
(Wow, the entertainment industry is something...)
Based on the conversation I just overheard, the other person is definitely Tashiro-san. But even if there was no problem with the equipment, I wouldn't hire her.
She just can't read the room. She is bound to cause a firestorm.
「Anyway, let's refocus. Entry number three, please」
As soon as Chihiro says this, the avatar suddenly turns into a big-breasted woman.
「OUTTTTTTT!」
「Wait, she hasn't even said anything yet, Danna-sama?」
「She's changed her character!」
「Well, I tried to respect the identity of the person behind the character...」
「Well, if that's the case, I don't want to be that person. Seriously, it's not good. I'm not saying anything bad. But that person is a first-class dangerous individual disguised as a sensible person」
「I see...well, this will be the last person, unfortunately」
「At this point, there's practically no one left」
「Entry number 4, please」
**b
As Chihiro speaks these words, the blonde loli avatar on the screen looked up at me with a cute, innocent expression.
『Hello, it's everyone's cute angel Angie! My hobby is singing songs. To all Onii-chan and Onee-chan across the country, Angie wants to be friends with everyone ☆』
She speaks with a slightly childish tone, and her cute gestures and gaze arouse a sense of protectiveness.
「She's...normal?」
I'm already upset that she's normal.
「Who is she?」
「I'm sorry, Danna-sama. Please understand that the identity of the person behind the character is a secret. Ah, that's right. If you'd like, you can talk to her」
「Um... Angie-chan likes sumo, right?」
「Yes, I like it. But it's not just about sumo, Angie loves people who work hard」
I asked her several more questions after this, and she continued to give me very favorable answers without breaking the setting.
「Um... well... isn't this girl good enough?」
As I said this, the blonde girl avatar in the screen jumped up cutely.
「Yay~☆ I love Onii-chan so much!」
* * *
After that, I come back to my "room" from KKO's office and go to the dining hall.
「I'm so tired...」
It's not that I've been in the office for a long time, but I'm just... tired.
**c
I mean, I haven't been in a situation where I had to make such a comment recently, so it's even more so.
(I wonder who the last one was...)
Lost in thought, I open the door to the dining hall, where Kyoko, dressed as a maid in a mini skirt, was lounging with her legs thrown over the table.
「Kyoko, sorry to bother you... but can you make me something to eat? I'm starving」
「Argh? What a pain in the ass. All I can make is an omelette rice」
Kyoko lifts one eyebrow and shows her displeasure.
If Ryoko were here, she would have been severely criticized for this attitude, but I don't dislike it so much. In fact, it adds to the pleasure of teasing her in bed.
「Okay, that's fine」
「Tch! You're such a pain」
Kyoko clicks her tongue, ruffles her messy hair, and turns her head toward the kitchen.
After a moment...
「Come on, eat up, eat up!」
She returned with a plate of omelet rice and slammed it down on the table.
As I looked at it, I noticed that the ketchup was shaped like a heart.
「Hmm, that's unusual」
「What? You got a problem with it or something?」
「No, I just noticed that the ketchup is shaped like a heart」
「N-no way! It's a mistake! I messed up! Stop talking nonsense and eat it already!」
What is she embarrassed about? Kyoko stuttered, kicking the leg of my chair while blushing furiously.
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