Chapter SS35
In my words, Eclise had a curious look on his face.
“I… was used by you?”
“……..”
“But I didn’t use you, did I?”
Whether my words were unbelievable, he glanced up and down at me with a look of rather ridiculousness.
If it is true that he lost his memory, it would be ridiculous to say that his life was ruined while being used by a woman who couldn’t even eat half a week.
“That’s a funny story.”
Slowly, the gray-brown eyes, which were facing down, came straight again.
He eventually burst out.
“If you don’t want to tell me about the past, why do you tell me that?”
“That way, you won’t be hanging around me anymore.”
‘A great deal of Mirage’ refers to a past that he could not fathom when he saw me. (?)
The word ‘enemy’ was closer to the truth than the assumption that it might have been a lifesaver or a lover.
The grin on his face faded, as he was staring at me.
“……then what if I beat you?”
He asked with a slightly lowered voice.
“What if I cry that I’ve been used to the point of ruining my life, and now I’m going to ruin your life?”
“You want to do that?”
I responded lightly.
Having lost his memory, Eclise became a different person than before, but I was sure he wouldn’t.
If he wanted to kill me, he wouldn’t have chase me around, to be bothered with this hassle.
He wasn’t really curious about the past, but he must have something he wants to know from me.
“Well, I don’t think that’s what you’re thinking right now….”
To what extent did the predictions fit, Eclise answered vaguely.
“So how about you?”
Then he threw the ball at me.
“Did you hate me too?”
At the sudden question I opened my eyes wide, then nodded slowly.
“…..it may have been like that.”
“Why?”
“At that time, you were a bit of a dusty person to the nobles.”
I shrugged my shoulders and made up a good reason.
“I’ve been cocky you say…”
Eclise copied my words with a meaningful face.
I overlapped his grown-up face with the young man five years ago.
At that time, there was no qualms about being hardheaded, lying or using someone else in order to survive.
I thought it was natural back then.
Even if I left, the heroine would remain. And the male leads would eventually love her.
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So when he brought Leila who was disguising as Yvonne, I was so angry that I couldn’t bear it.
It seemed to me that all the failures to attack, not being able to escape, and the possibility of me eventually dying, were all because of Eclise.
All of those words about loving me and wanting to have me, felt like deception.
When he was in a duel with the crown prince, and then threw his life for me, only then I realized.
The dark red favorability gauge bar, the fact that perhaps it wasn’t created because of Leila’s brainwashing, but because of me.
Now it was time to stare at the air above the gray head where nothing was visible.
“Well… you must have wanted to kill me sometimes, right?”
asked Eclise suddenly.
“Would you at least kill me now?”
“……what?
I responded to his words a bit later.
In the meantime, he quickly pulled a dagger out of his arms.
“What are you….”
“Here.”
Then, with a sharp knife, he tapped near my neck and pointed.
“They’re the places where you can kill at once.”
“……”
“Here, take it.”
I couldn’t quite understand what he was talking about when he gave me the handle of the knife.
Looking at what he was doing stupidly.
“….are you on drugs?”
The word crazy was barely purified. He responded casually.
“No. It’s only those things that are in circulation outside the capital.” (?)
“Then why are you doing this all of a sudden?”
“Just, I was getting tired of chasing you and hunting the demons.”
“……..”
“Since we hated each other, I thought it would be fun if you tried to kill me.”
I was trying to get rid of his lingering feelings. but when I said he was an ‘enemy’, this hurtful interest seemed to come to his mind.
Talking of wonderful words (?), Eclise forcibly pulled my frozen hand and gave me a dagger.
“Are you crazy? Cut it out. Is your life that funny to you?”
I shouted, shaking the hand like a seizure.
“Actually, I’m quite bored of living.”
But he didn’t budge an inch, and peered at me with strange eyes.
“Thinking back on those days, I wonder how you hated me.”
“You….”
“How did I behave? Perhaps you tried to take advantage of me, and I betrayed you without knowing the kindness you’ve shown me? Or….”
“Let it go, won’t you?”
“Don’t you want me to hold your wrist and kiss it?” (?)
As if playing a prank, he held my hand and touched his neck with it a couple of times.
Click, click. The sharp edge of the knife has now touched an old, inoperable yellow bead.
For a moment, I was amazed at the crazy behavior of a man I couldn’t keep up with, and tried to shake my hand.
My cold face hardened at the words of the man who was actually quite close to the truth.
“I told you not to be mistaken. It wasn’t such a big deal.”
I stopped the scuffle, which was about to break out of his grasp, and with the other hand that had not been caught, I seized the flesh.
And I pushed the dagger into his neck, just as he wanted.
Then he let go of my hand with a very interesting expression on his face.
“Why should I put blood on my hands for your fun?”
I asked him with my eyes firmly on the dagger.
“I heard you were my master. Maybe, to pay off the slave’s debt in the past?”
“Well. For you, who had barely noticed the choker on your neck, was it really worth it? I can’t remember.”
When I spoke with my eyes on the choker hidden in the armor gap, the interest in his eyes gradually faded.
When I saw him lose his face like a wax again, I gave him a cold shriek.
“And, you’re not my slave. I knew I didn’t want to be used miserably, so I found my way up.”
“You must have lived a better life back then.” (I might be wrong on this part, not sure if it’s about him or her)
When I saw him with an expressionless face making a joke, I put a little more force on the dagger in my hand.
The eerie sound of something being cut stimulated the ear.
“As soon as your value of use ended, I gave you the key (She means the ring that controlled him), and our relationship ended there.”
The blade went a little deeper.
Finally, the tough leather was cut off.
The harnesses that bind slaves were not easily damaged with most weapons because of their magic.
However, the leather that had worn away in time after the disappearance of all mana, had already been broken once, and there was traces of freezing with adhesive on it.
It was the part I was aiming for.
“I heard you killed a mercenary because you didn’t want to be called a slave. Then why do you keep kicking this?”
I grabbed the choker that had been held and was falling without power, and waved it twice before his eyes.
“It’s just like saying that, you, forgetting your memories, was a mere lie.”
Still holding the knife against his neck, it glowed like a threat.
Then he slowly moved his eyes and looked back at the choker I had cut off.
“I know.”
“…….”
“There’s no reason to wear it anymore, as you said…”
“…….”
“Why was I wearing that joint around my neck like a dog?”
He tilted his head toward my hand holding the dagger without even realizing that the tip of the knife was digging through the gap.
“Do you happen to know?”
“I don’t.”
A stream of blood began to flow. I pushed him away.
“You crazy man, there’s no way I would.”
I cursed him in a low-pitched voice, and threw the choker all the way down the canyon.
Then, shaking my hands, I asked leisurely.
“Okay?”
It was a relationship that wasn’t worth enough to let go of what he had forgotten for five years without knowing why.
In my words the gray-brown eyes twinkled with unknowable light.
However, I ignored him and returned the dagger politely.
“And I’m sorry, if you want to die, take care of it yourself and die somewhere far away from me. I don’t want to know much, whether you die or not.”
“……you’re more cold-hearted than you look.”
He looked down at my knife, which I had thrown out, and it wasn’t long before I accepted it with a giggle.
I was greatly relieved in my heart, but I did not express myself as bad.
“Every time a demon appeared, you tried to protect everyone else, so I thought you were a philanthropist.”
“I don’t want to see people die each time at work. And I am also capable enough to handle that much.”
At the arrogant reply, I sqinted.
“Do you have fun doing what you’re doing?”
But suddenly, he asked me something out of the blue.
“Is it more fun than being… the Eckart’s only duchess?”
“It’s work. How can it be fun every time?”
“For that, you seemed very enthusiastic…”
“I tend to feel as much rewarding as I have suffered for throwing away the one and only princess of the Eckarts.” (?)
I tried to keep my head down at his wild questions.
And after taking a break, I added insignificantly.
“As you live, there will be other interesting things for you someday.’
“………”
“There’s something I want to do, and I’m crazy about it, and I’ve been chasing it all year round….”
“………”
“You’re too young to say life is boring.”
“You said we weren’t in a big relationship, and you remember my age?”
“That a younger man than me was so cheeky? Yes I do.”
When I replied refreshingly with my arms folded, his expression became strange again.
‘What are you trying to get out of me?’
The man who was searching me through his dry pupils opened his mouth again.
“Why do you say that to someone you hate who has just passed away?”
Whether it was on purpose or not, I was heartbroken by the voice of Eclise, who pointed out every word I said.
‘Did you notice it was a lie? Oh, you don’t remember…’
But either way, I couldn’t tell a bit from that face of his which was void of any agitation.
After a moment of anguish, I gave up my brain and answered gently.
“…..because I’m too happy now to keep remembering all those negative emotions.”
It was the only thing I ever told him with sincerity.
“I said it because I’ve already encountered you uncomfortably, and I wanted you to know. Anyway, I got some help today, I don’t want to leave it cheating.”
“…….”
“If you understand, stop chasing me.”
“The fact that I hated and resented you,”
“……..”
“…..was it true?”
It was then. Unlike me, who wanted to stop talking, he inquired about his past, which he persistently did not want to know about.
I answered with a sigh.
“Why would I lie to you?”
“I lied, actually.”
Did my sour tone stimulate something?
His words were pouring in without changing a single expression, that I stopped breathing for a second.
“At first, I was after you to kill you, regardless of what happend in the past.”