Depthless Hunger

Chapter 35: A Conversation Between Adults

The flame immediately coursed through his flesh and Kai gasped. He could feel it reforming, twisting over him. His mana surged wildly, having no idea what to do. Allegedly it was supposed to come intuitively, so he threw himself into trying to control the flame.

To his surprise, the heat flowed together into an icy current that pooled in his hand. A moment later, it evaporated and he struggled to hold on to a sphere of wind. Somehow the wind condensed down into a stone, trembling with the might of an earthquake, then it exploded into flame again.

Then it winked out and the power was gone.

"A pity." The Flameborn shook his head sadly. "I thought you would have made a good Earthborn, but it seems the land felt otherwise. Fare well, Gunjin."

Flames exploded around him and the man flew from the wall, soon becoming a comet disappearing into the sky. The fire hadn't burned Kai, yet he felt as though the flames had gutted him. In his current state, he wasn't sure if it was because of the test or because of what he already knew the results meant.

"I'm sorry, Kai." Gunjin turned away from him and stared down over the wasteland.

"No second attempts?" Kai asked, more because he needed to try than because he expected to be surprised.

"You grasped the spirit of the test quickly, but it seems you were unlucky. Even in the most purebred portions of the Elemental Nations, those with such powers are rare. This was always a long shot, but I had hoped..."

There was nothing to say. Kai's hands balled into fists even though he knew it did no good. Every time he had a chance, every time the world gave him anything, fate drove his face into the ground. He wasn't surprised, just bitter.

"I know that you're angry because you feel that Monskon City has treated you unfairly." Gunjin finally turned back with a new hardness in his eyes. "In this conversation, I am going to give you the respect of treating you like an adult. We need to talk about how the world really works."

"It looks like it works by random luck!" Kai hadn't meant to shout, but the words exploded from him. "Some people are just blessed by fate, then the world hands them everything they ask for!"

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"We're losing." Gunjin's voice was so soft it was almost inaudible, but it cut through Kai's rage. "Not so quickly that it's obvious, but our nation is dying. Our hunters aren't strong enough, and there are too few of them to maintain our lines."

"Bullshit. I've seen hunters sitting around the Guild doing nothing, while there are entire towns outside the city just abandoned. I visited one, you know! They told me how the hunters left them to be controlled by smugglers and thugs, just abandoning their duty to-"

"Because we can't protect them. I don't know exactly which town you mean, because there are dozens of stories like that. Regions we could once keep safe are abandoned to monsters. If the hunters on the Frontier ever failed, half of Goralia would burn within a year. And it's not just Goralia. Every nation is struggling to survive. We cannot afford to be generous."

As much as he didn't want to believe it, Kai swallowed the bitter fact. "But the children of the wealthy..." He knew he sounded petulant and he didn't care. "Fhazi Lantrian gets fed the city's resources without having to do a thing. He might never even fight a monster."

"You want to send him here?" Gunjin gestured out over the Frontier. "There are worthless hunters, yes. But throwing them against our enemy would be like throwing chaff into a wildfire. They aren't the problem, just irrelevant byproducts of the system."

Every objection Kai could possibly raise, Gunjin would have an answer. Instead of trying to argue any further, Kai went to sit down on the edge of the wall. Even here, he could still feel the lethal intent, hordes of monsters that could sweep over civilization. He'd always wanted to fight them, and yet...

"Let me explain to you how Goralia really works," Gunjin said. "The Frontier is our most important defense, but it can't stand alone. The southern regions, despite the fact that they're scorned as being soft and weak, provide powerful resources that could never be grown so near the wasteland. All the wealthy families, despite their problems, create the trade and prosperity that support our strength."

"And Monskon City? What are we?"

"You haven't figured it out yet? Cities like ours provide hunters capable of using the south's resources and growing strong enough to join the Frontier. Every part of the system is essential. If the merchants took over, yes, they'd be overrun by the next monster incursion. But if you let the soldiers take control, the nation would die weak and starving. We can survive only with a balance."

Part of Kai was still furious, but he couldn't help but listen. His early lessons had presented a simple picture of Goralia and the other nations around the Frontier, never addressing things in such stark terms. Though it was a grim picture, he believed that what his mentor said had the ring of truth.

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When the lecture petered out, Kai took a deep breath and asked his next question. "So why are we failing? Were past generations really that much more powerful than us?"

Gunjin snorted derisively. "That's a tale for children. The greatest legends will always be in the past because you can't very well lie about the present.

"Our nation works, but it doesn't work perfectly. Some of the reasons you're angry... they aren't wrong. One of the reasons I founded the Granfian clan was to make sure that impoverished children with potential wouldn't be left behind. But not everyone takes the threat seriously, and dysfunctions accumulate, and all the while our enemy hungers for our flesh."

"You can't just take people here and show them the threat? What about the incursions?"

"It's more complicated than that." Gunjin lowered his head and his voice shifted, losing the confident tone. "I believe, but cannot prove, that the monster incursions follow an unstable pattern. The incursion that killed your parents was more arduous than some others, for example, and left a scar. But those since have been weaker, so many believe the threat is broken."

"And they won't listen to you?"

"Some did, but the last incursion... under-performed. I may have been mistaken, or there may have been other variables I didn't understand. Most believe that they were right to ignore my warnings. If it turns out that I am correct... there will come a future incursion that risks destroying everything. Not just Goralia, I mean all the Frontier nations. Maybe the entire continent."

After having worked under him for most of his life, Kai was inclined to believe his old mentor. Even though he'd never heard the full story before, he found himself believing it. And yet all of that was irrelevant, because he knew why this conversation was taking place. It was no call to arms.

The old anger and bitterness flared up and died almost as quickly. Kai took a deep breath and tried to speak without emotion.

"All of this is your way of telling me that you can't afford to waste resources on me," Kai said. "No matter how hard I work, I didn't get handed powers that could be used against the threat, so I'm just usele-"

"By the incursion, you'll be stronger than most of the hunters in the city. But for us to survive, we need heroes."

Kai turned away and closed his eyes.

"I showed you what we face," Gunjin said quietly. "Monsters possess strange powers that are diametrically opposed to ours, which worsen under the taint. To destroy such threats, abilities with enormous destructive power are required. Truthfully, even the common Warrior and Knight Classes are of limited use, unless their users fully expand their powers. So in the end, you are correct. I am sorry that it has to be this way."

"And there's just no hope for me?"

"A man born without arms deserves no less respect, and may have a thousand praise-worthy qualities, but you don't hire him to build you a wall."

There it was, plain as day. Kai scrabbled for other scraps of hope. "What about our supposed allies to the south? Like the dryad who was in the Hunter Trials. Could I seek out their powers?"

"Not even theoretically possible, to my knowledge. Their abilities are diverse but tend to be inborn. I suppose you could try the Irunian test of metal, but-"

"Don't." Kai rubbed his eyes roughly and decided to keep them closed. "I already tried with Tusquo and it turns out I'm the lowest possible rank on the Path of Steel."

"You underwent the trial and... removed the capacity? I see." Gunjin's voice shifted in an unusual way, but Kai didn't want to look at his face. "I wish that you would have told me that. The powers of the various nations use... similar aspects of your fundamental essence. Every time you burn out or remove one of them, your spirit will be circumscribed."

"What does it matter, if I'm worthless anyway?"

"Don't be childish, Kai. The clan isn't going to abandon you instantly. You're free to work as Granfian staff, and I think you'd make an excellent trainer."

"Exactly what I always wanted to be."

"Are you telling me that you've harbored such disrespect for all the men and women who have been supporting and training you all this time?" Gunjin's eyes bored into him and Kai was forced to drop his gaze.

He didn't think the question was fair, but he couldn't answer it. Instead he sat sullenly, forcing himself to accept the new reality. Even though it wasn't a surprise, he couldn't endure slamming up against the barrier of fate over and over. How many times was he expected to pick himself back up? Or was the world telling him that it was time to surrender?

"It's natural for you to have negative feelings, but I need you to listen to me." Gunjin crouched down beside him, capturing his gaze again. "Many of the city's most powerful items would have little effect on you, so giving you those resources would be unfair to everyone else working hard. I need you to understand that giving you more wouldn't be fairness, it would be nepotism."

"I understand." Kai took a shuddering breath and forced himself to his feet. "Just don't expect me to be happy about it. Do I need to change my work now?"

"What I told you after the Trials still holds: you can prepare as you wish before the next monster incursion, which is likely to be just after the next Hunter Trials. Your work on your Physique has been impressive, and we may need all the help we can get. If you find some other path, we'll welcome you in that role."

"But does another path even exist? Could I... I don't know, what about the Krysal City States?

"Trust me, you don't want to try there." Gunjin smiled acerbically. "It's true that their crystals involve no luck or soul, but they can be bought by anyone. In a sense, it's by far the least fair system I've ever seen. Now, this has gone on long enough, so we need to return."

They needed to go to the base of the wall and find an outpost to use a portal back to Monskon City. Kai followed after Gunjin, his thoughts numb. He wasn't willing to give up, but he just didn't see any possible path forward. Even if he did the impossible with his Physique and Soul Levels, staying ahead of the strongest elites, they would always have their special powers as an advantage he couldn't match.

When they returned, Kai felt as disoriented as if he'd been abandoned on the Frontier. The walls of the Hunters Guild seemed simultaneously claustrophobic and empty. Before Gunjin could depart, Kai called after his mentor one more time.

"Could this be my fault, somehow? Or does fate just hate me?"

"Fate is another tale for children." Gunjin looked back at him, but only briefly before he turned away. "In my experience, the world is nothing but blind luck."