Devil’s Warmth

In the small meeting room.

The sun was shining outside, and Pei Chuan was pushing his wheelchair. In the late summer and early autumn, she stood there smiling at him.

Pei Chuan admitted that his breathing had stopped for a while.

She wore silky white long sleeves with very simple short pants underneath, showing a pair of slender white jade legs. He was already a man; he was no longer that boy who had sat at the same table with her and had drawn a line to divide their territory.

His first wet dream had been about her; the girl in the dream had been sobbing. Later, when he had awakened in the morning, all he had been left with was pain and despair.

Sometimes he hated his male instinct. Why had he lost his healthy legs but not his ugly desire?

He had always treated her with the purest affections, and seldom tainted it with lust. Pei Chuan looked from afar, he could only love her forever.

But, seeing Bei Yao like this, he realized that it wasnt enough.

Bei Yao tilted her head. She was actually a little embarrassed. But after seeing Pei Chuans stunned and pale face, she became a little panicked.

It was obvious that other people didnt have this kind of reaction. Did she not look good?

This time Pei Chuan spoke first. Yaoyao, how have you been doing recently?

She nodded her head with utmost happiness, and moved a small bench to sit by his side. Very well. The large moonflowers in B University have bloomed. Bei Jun is much taller now; he writes to me every month.

The only bad thing is that I cant see you often.

Pei Chuan fell silent for a moment. "Have you met any boys youre interested in?

She was stunned. Although she knew a long time ago that Pei Chuan was leaving her, it was the first time that Pei Chuan had been so frank.

Bei Yao was a little angry and bit her lip. What do you mean?

Pei Chuan did not avoid her gaze. He looked straight at her eyes and said, Six years is very long, and Im not good to you. I cant be by your side when you feel cold or hungry. Yaoyao, when you go to psychology class, youll understand that people will have desires after growing up. The opposite sex will be attracted to each other. Youve waited for me for a long time and have never let me down, but its too late for me to treat you better. If you have someone you like, and he treats you well

Bei Yao was dumbfounded. She had dressed up beautifully to meet him. As a result, he told her both men and women would have desires when they grew up. What if she liked someone else?

She was both embarrassed and angry, and interrupted him. If you like someone, do you sleep with them? She had never said such explicit and shameful words, but this time Pei Chuan had really made her furious. Why didnt he believe that she had grown up? Did he not believe her sincerity?

His face turned white and he angrily said, Yaoyao! You know I didnt mean it that way.

She was furious. Thats what you meant. You always think that I like someone else.

Bei Yao still remembered what Qin Dongni had whispered to her. She thought that Pei Chuan would like her more after seeing her. Before she had come, she had been quietly expecting Pei Chuans reaction, but instead, he was almost making her cry from anger.

Bei Yao had never quarreled with Pei Chuan. This was the first time. She was afraid that the joy of seeing him would turn into tears the next moment. She gritted her teeth and got up, intending to leave.

Hes the worst of villains.

She held her tears and shame in her maidens heart, and stood up to leave.

In the next instant, she was grabbed by her wrist and pulled into an embrace. The man hugged her tightly with his pale fingers.

He confined the angry young girl and held her tight. I didnt mean it that way.

She sat on his legs and was held tightly in his arms, her tears about to fall. It had been two years, but this time, she really felt like she had been wronged.

Pei Chuan whispered, I was wrong. I shouldnt have said something like that, Im sorry. Dont go, dont go.

Every time he met her, he had to wait innumerable days and nights, as if all of his expectations and hopes were just for this meeting. He could endure endless loneliness for this.

He didnt want to make her sad. God knew how much he wanted to be good to her.

But the many things she wouldnt be able to face had become a deep-rooted problem in his heart.

Bei Yao was also reluctant to leave. She had waited for the same length of time to meet him. It hadnt been easy for them to meet; they couldnt fight. She said with a nasal voice, Then Ill forgive you this time. Youre not allowed to say anything like this in the future, or I wont forgive you.

He replied with a low voice, Okay.

She stretched out her tender arms and hugged the man's neck. Her little head rubbed against his neck. "Why are you so irritating?

He pursed his lips and said nothing, only gently stroking her hair with cherishing and sadness she didnt understand.

He kissed her hair lightly. Bei Yao felt a little itchy, and her tears turned into smiles.

However, she was really curious. Why were you so angry just now?

Pei Chuan was rarely angry in front of her; he was very lenient. When he said something hurtful, it must be because a sensitive nerve had been touched.

Pei Chuan didnt want to lie to her, but no matter what, he couldnt talk about his disability and desires in front of her.

He could only stay silent.

Bei Yao thought for a while then whispered, If you dont like me wearing this and you think it doesnt look good, then I wont wear it anymore.

His throat was dry, and he whispered, No, it looks good.

She was still pure. After hearing his compliment, her previous unhappiness vanished. She said joyfully, You also look good. And she didnt forget to add, The most handsome.

He smiled, his heart filled with affection.

His praise came from the bottom of his heart, and she looked at him sentimentally. His appearance was very miserable right now; he didnt deserve her compliments.

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Pei Chuan wouldnt use his circumstances to have her.

Everyone would only be young once. Sadly, he couldnt accompany her through the journey of her youth. He wished for her to have her own life and not worry about him.

This was the first time he had held her like this. This man had a broad chest, and even the two years in jail couldnt affect his previous years of boxing exercise.

He had compact muscles, sitting in a wheelchair with her in his arms.

To be honest, Bei Yao somewhat felt strange.

She neither held grudges nor got angry easily. After she was done being mad, she would love the joyful moments in life even more.

This man was sensitive. When she had seen him sitting in a wheelchair as a child, he would be unhappy. But now they were together, hugging her on his lap in the wheelchair. It was considered to be a big compromise from him.

She buried her face in his chest while holding back her joyful smile and shyness.

The time for the prison visit had passed and Bei Yao had to leave.

Pei Chuan looked at her slender back as it disappeared from view. For the first time, he was a little worried.

~

Cheng Zhenghai said, Pei Chuan, something on your mind?"

"No."

Come on buddy, weve been together day and night for almost three years, and youve stopped typing code more than ten times. Dont treat me as an outsider; my crime is more serious than yours, I still have to stay here for more than ten years. I wont spread your little problems to everyone on earth. I reckon this is your third year and youll be out next year.

Right now was the time they let the prisoners out for exercise. Pei Chuan didnt like to communicate with others, but today he had too much on his mind. When he looked at this senior who had gone to jail for his daughter, he opened his mouth. Im afraid I cant give her a future.

Cheng Zhenghai said, You cant say that about yourself, ah. Look at us who work with biochemistry, we cant be poorer anymore. But what are you doing? Electronic technology and software are developing now, the future will be the information era. Your brain is very useful; its like a walking treasury. Itll be no problem to build a golden house for your girl. Besides, you can work on technology, which means that youll be a proper scientist once youre out, ah.

Cheng Zhenghai looked at the silent Pei Chuan, then added, Look at the college students nowadays, what else do they know except the knowledge from books? To become scientists, they should finish their undergraduate programs, graduate programs, doctoral programs, etc They also have to publish papers non-stop, achieve certain academic results, and only then will they be worthy of the title scientist. But you, with four years of practical work, youve already made so many things. Both you and the government are clear on that you wont be on the same level as your peers after you get out.

Pei Chuan looked at his eyes and gritted his teeth. In the end, he still didnt say anything.

The main thing was that after marrying someone, they would have a sexual life. He could give her the purest form of love and spoil her for a lifetime, but it was harder for him to take off his clothes and pants than to die.

That childhood incident was like a shadow that trapped him. His little self was sitting outside the door while his parents were arguing in the room. He heard the fear of his dearest woman when she mentioned his limbs.

Pei Chuan was a piece of flesh that had come out of Jiang Wenjuan, but even this woman was afraid of and disgusted with him, let alone Yaoyao.

When he had been four years old, Pei Chuan had always believed Jiang Wenjuan's words: to eat well, sleep well, that men don't cry, and when he grew up, his legs would grow back and become whole again. But when he was a little older, he also understood that he could only be like this forever.

He could practice boxing and train his muscles and figure, but his limbs would only shrink and look ugly even if they were massaged every day.

Even he thought they looked extremely ugly, so how could he let that beautiful and innocent girl look at them?

Yaoyao didnt understand this logic. And as a normal and healthy man, Senior Chen hadnt had such worries when hed been with his wife. So none of them understood his struggle and pain.

However, when Pei Chuan had met Bei Yao today, in addition to being stunning, there was also that alluring illusion of youth that made him insane; the unbearable shame when he woke up.

To marry someone, one had to be responsible for them for the rest of ones life. Sometimes, love alone wasnt enough.

But who could he talk about these thoughts with? In the end, he could only endure the pain of a blunt knife cutting the meat slowly*.

*t/n: (dn do z g ru) is an idiom that means slow action or a problem that cannot be solved quickly.

Pei Chuan couldnt let go, but a responsible man wouldnt care only about momentary interest and pleasure.

This was also the reason why he had never touched Bei Yao.

If one day she understood that he couldnt even give her a normal life, she would know how terrible he was. The more he loved the more he worried. He even feared that she would look at him a little differently.

Pei Chuan sometimes thought that it would be good if she wasnt so beautiful. But she had the most beautiful features: young, and an attractive body, so much so that he was miles away from her. He, on the other hand, didnt even possess the most basic conditions to match her.

Normal people wouldnt understand.

And it was impossible for those who understood to say it to others.

At the end of this conversation, only Senior Cheng thought that he had successfully persuaded the young man. Cheng Zhenghai was really optimistic about this young man. Pei Chuan could basically make any kind of softwarehe was the master of all. When he didnt understand something, he would study it seriously.

The one thing about the Seventh Prison was that it couldnt be compared to all the universities outside. There were excellent physics professors, biochemists, and even the disciples of the former researcher of the H bomb.

Each one of them was a genius, a big figure in each of their fields, and the mistakes they had made could be corrected.

As soon as people like Pei Chuan got out, he would be settled in becoming a scientist. With his skill in writing code, money was something easy to make.

Then one day, Cheng Zhenghai remembered something important. Pei Chuan, ah, does your little girl know that youre so capable?

Cough, cough his ability to make money was against the sky.

Pei Chuan's expression was cold, and his thin lips faintly uttered three words. "She doesnt know."

Cheng Zhenghai, who was only casually asking, hadnt expected such an answer.

Senior Cheng's eyes widened. "Then, does she know that you can get out next year?"She should know that she doesnt have to wait for you for long, right?

Pei Chuan was silent for a moment. She thinks there are six years left.

Cheng Zhenghai didnt know whether to laugh or cry. You brat.

What can I say? Which familys baby girl is that? She doesnt know anything. Will she also be like the people outside, thinking that once Pei Chuan gets out, hell be a poor boy with nothing? Oh, its truly difficult for people whove been in jail to find a job.

Besides, shes stupid enough to think that she has to wait for him for six years.

Pei Chuan, are you not afraid that when you suddenly get out, the girl will be angry and dump you?

Moreover, shes willingly waiting for a poor boy with nothing for six years. What kind of baby girl has Pei Chuan picked up, ah!

In the small meeting room.

The sun was shining outside, and Pei Chuan was pushing his wheelchair. In the late summer and early autumn, she stood there smiling at him.

Pei Chuan admitted that his breathing had stopped for a while.

She wore silky white long sleeves with very simple short pants underneath, showing a pair of slender white jade legs. He was already a man; he was no longer that boy who had sat at the same table with her and had drawn a line to divide their territory.

His first wet dream had been about her; the girl in the dream had been sobbing. Later, when he had awakened in the morning, all he had been left with was pain and despair.

Sometimes he hated his male instinct. Why had he lost his healthy legs but not his ugly desire?

He had always treated her with the purest affections, and seldom tainted it with lust. Pei Chuan looked from afar, he could only love her forever.

But, seeing Bei Yao like this, he realized that it wasnt enough.

Bei Yao tilted her head. She was actually a little embarrassed. But after seeing Pei Chuans stunned and pale face, she became a little panicked.

It was obvious that other people didnt have this kind of reaction. Did she not look good?

This time Pei Chuan spoke first. Yaoyao, how have you been doing recently?

She nodded her head with utmost happiness, and moved a small bench to sit by his side. Very well. The large moonflowers in B University have bloomed. Bei Jun is much taller now; he writes to me every month.

The only bad thing is that I cant see you often.

Pei Chuan fell silent for a moment. "Have you met any boys youre interested in?

She was stunned. Although she knew a long time ago that Pei Chuan was leaving her, it was the first time that Pei Chuan had been so frank.

Bei Yao was a little angry and bit her lip. What do you mean?

Pei Chuan did not avoid her gaze. He looked straight at her eyes and said, Six years is very long, and Im not good to you. I cant be by your side when you feel cold or hungry. Yaoyao, when you go to psychology class, youll understand that people will have desires after growing up. The opposite sex will be attracted to each other. Youve waited for me for a long time and have never let me down, but its too late for me to treat you better. If you have someone you like, and he treats you well

Bei Yao was dumbfounded. She had dressed up beautifully to meet him. As a result, he told her both men and women would have desires when they grew up. What if she liked someone else?

She was both embarrassed and angry, and interrupted him. If you like someone, do you sleep with them? She had never said such explicit and shameful words, but this time Pei Chuan had really made her furious. Why didnt he believe that she had grown up? Did he not believe her sincerity?

His face turned white and he angrily said, Yaoyao! You know I didnt mean it that way.

She was furious. Thats what you meant. You always think that I like someone else.

Bei Yao still remembered what Qin Dongni had whispered to her. She thought that Pei Chuan would like her more after seeing her. Before she had come, she had been quietly expecting Pei Chuans reaction, but instead, he was almost making her cry from anger.

Bei Yao had never quarreled with Pei Chuan. This was the first time. She was afraid that the joy of seeing him would turn into tears the next moment. She gritted her teeth and got up, intending to leave.

Hes the worst of villains.

She held her tears and shame in her maidens heart, and stood up to leave.

In the next instant, she was grabbed by her wrist and pulled into an embrace. The man hugged her tightly with his pale fingers.

He confined the angry young girl and held her tight. I didnt mean it that way.

She sat on his legs and was held tightly in his arms, her tears about to fall. It had been two years, but this time, she really felt like she had been wronged.

Pei Chuan whispered, I was wrong. I shouldnt have said something like that, Im sorry. Dont go, dont go.

Every time he met her, he had to wait innumerable days and nights, as if all of his expectations and hopes were just for this meeting. He could endure endless loneliness for this.

He didnt want to make her sad. God knew how much he wanted to be good to her.

But the many things she wouldnt be able to face had become a deep-rooted problem in his heart.

Bei Yao was also reluctant to leave. She had waited for the same length of time to meet him. It hadnt been easy for them to meet; they couldnt fight. She said with a nasal voice, Then Ill forgive you this time. Youre not allowed to say anything like this in the future, or I wont forgive you.

He replied with a low voice, Okay.

She stretched out her tender arms and hugged the man's neck. Her little head rubbed against his neck. "Why are you so irritating?

He pursed his lips and said nothing, only gently stroking her hair with cherishing and sadness she didnt understand.

He kissed her hair lightly. Bei Yao felt a little itchy, and her tears turned into smiles.

However, she was really curious. Why were you so angry just now?

Pei Chuan was rarely angry in front of her; he was very lenient. When he said something hurtful, it must be because a sensitive nerve had been touched.

Pei Chuan didnt want to lie to her, but no matter what, he couldnt talk about his disability and desires in front of her.

He could only stay silent.

Bei Yao thought for a while then whispered, If you dont like me wearing this and you think it doesnt look good, then I wont wear it anymore.

His throat was dry, and he whispered, No, it looks good.

She was still pure. After hearing his compliment, her previous unhappiness vanished. She said joyfully, You also look good. And she didnt forget to add, The most handsome.

He smiled, his heart filled with affection.

His praise came from the bottom of his heart, and she looked at him sentimentally. His appearance was very miserable right now; he didnt deserve her compliments.

Pei Chuan wouldnt use his circumstances to have her.

Everyone would only be young once. Sadly, he couldnt accompany her through the journey of her youth. He wished for her to have her own life and not worry about him.

This was the first time he had held her like this. This man had a broad chest, and even the two years in jail couldnt affect his previous years of boxing exercise.

He had compact muscles, sitting in a wheelchair with her in his arms.

To be honest, Bei Yao somewhat felt strange.

She neither held grudges nor got angry easily. After she was done being mad, she would love the joyful moments in life even more.

This man was sensitive. When she had seen him sitting in a wheelchair as a child, he would be unhappy. But now they were together, hugging her on his lap in the wheelchair. It was considered to be a big compromise from him.

She buried her face in his chest while holding back her joyful smile and shyness.

The time for the prison visit had passed and Bei Yao had to leave.

Pei Chuan looked at her slender back as it disappeared from view. For the first time, he was a little worried.

~

Cheng Zhenghai said, Pei Chuan, something on your mind?"

"No."

Come on buddy, weve been together day and night for almost three years, and youve stopped typing code more than ten times. Dont treat me as an outsider; my crime is more serious than yours, I still have to stay here for more than ten years. I wont spread your little problems to everyone on earth. I reckon this is your third year and youll be out next year.

Right now was the time they let the prisoners out for exercise. Pei Chuan didnt like to communicate with others, but today he had too much on his mind. When he looked at this senior who had gone to jail for his daughter, he opened his mouth. Im afraid I cant give her a future.

Cheng Zhenghai said, You cant say that about yourself, ah. Look at us who work with biochemistry, we cant be poorer anymore. But what are you doing? Electronic technology and software are developing now, the future will be the information era. Your brain is very useful; its like a walking treasury. Itll be no problem to build a golden house for your girl. Besides, you can work on technology, which means that youll be a proper scientist once youre out, ah.

Cheng Zhenghai looked at the silent Pei Chuan, then added, Look at the college students nowadays, what else do they know except the knowledge from books? To become scientists, they should finish their undergraduate programs, graduate programs, doctoral programs, etc They also have to publish papers non-stop, achieve certain academic results, and only then will they be worthy of the title scientist. But you, with four years of practical work, youve already made so many things. Both you and the government are clear on that you wont be on the same level as your peers after you get out.

Pei Chuan looked at his eyes and gritted his teeth. In the end, he still didnt say anything.

The main thing was that after marrying someone, they would have a sexual life. He could give her the purest form of love and spoil her for a lifetime, but it was harder for him to take off his clothes and pants than to die.

That childhood incident was like a shadow that trapped him. His little self was sitting outside the door while his parents were arguing in the room. He heard the fear of his dearest woman when she mentioned his limbs.

Pei Chuan was a piece of flesh that had come out of Jiang Wenjuan, but even this woman was afraid of and disgusted with him, let alone Yaoyao.

When he had been four years old, Pei Chuan had always believed Jiang Wenjuan's words: to eat well, sleep well, that men don't cry, and when he grew up, his legs would grow back and become whole again. But when he was a little older, he also understood that he could only be like this forever.

He could practice boxing and train his muscles and figure, but his limbs would only shrink and look ugly even if they were massaged every day.

Even he thought they looked extremely ugly, so how could he let that beautiful and innocent girl look at them?

Yaoyao didnt understand this logic. And as a normal and healthy man, Senior Chen hadnt had such worries when hed been with his wife. So none of them understood his struggle and pain.

However, when Pei Chuan had met Bei Yao today, in addition to being stunning, there was also that alluring illusion of youth that made him insane; the unbearable shame when he woke up.

To marry someone, one had to be responsible for them for the rest of ones life. Sometimes, love alone wasnt enough.

But who could he talk about these thoughts with? In the end, he could only endure the pain of a blunt knife cutting the meat slowly*.

*t/n: (dn do z g ru) is an idiom that means slow action or a problem that cannot be solved quickly.

Pei Chuan couldnt let go, but a responsible man wouldnt care only about momentary interest and pleasure.

This was also the reason why he had never touched Bei Yao.

If one day she understood that he couldnt even give her a normal life, she would know how terrible he was. The more he loved the more he worried. He even feared that she would look at him a little differently.

Pei Chuan sometimes thought that it would be good if she wasnt so beautiful. But she had the most beautiful features: young, and an attractive body, so much so that he was miles away from her. He, on the other hand, didnt even possess the most basic conditions to match her.

Normal people wouldnt understand.

And it was impossible for those who understood to say it to others.

At the end of this conversation, only Senior Cheng thought that he had successfully persuaded the young man. Cheng Zhenghai was really optimistic about this young man. Pei Chuan could basically make any kind of softwarehe was the master of all. When he didnt understand something, he would study it seriously.

The one thing about the Seventh Prison was that it couldnt be compared to all the universities outside. There were excellent physics professors, biochemists, and even the disciples of the former researcher of the H bomb.

Each one of them was a genius, a big figure in each of their fields, and the mistakes they had made could be corrected.

As soon as people like Pei Chuan got out, he would be settled in becoming a scientist. With his skill in writing code, money was something easy to make.

Then one day, Cheng Zhenghai remembered something important. Pei Chuan, ah, does your little girl know that youre so capable?

Cough, cough his ability to make money was against the sky.

Pei Chuan's expression was cold, and his thin lips faintly uttered three words. "She doesnt know."

Cheng Zhenghai, who was only casually asking, hadnt expected such an answer.

Senior Cheng's eyes widened. "Then, does she know that you can get out next year?"She should know that she doesnt have to wait for you for long, right?

Pei Chuan was silent for a moment. She thinks there are six years left.

Cheng Zhenghai didnt know whether to laugh or cry. You brat.

What can I say? Which familys baby girl is that? She doesnt know anything. Will she also be like the people outside, thinking that once Pei Chuan gets out, hell be a poor boy with nothing? Oh, its truly difficult for people whove been in jail to find a job.

Besides, shes stupid enough to think that she has to wait for him for six years.

Pei Chuan, are you not afraid that when you suddenly get out, the girl will be angry and dump you?

Moreover, shes willingly waiting for a poor boy with nothing for six years. What kind of baby girl has Pei Chuan picked up, ah!