Devil’s Warmth

The weather was sunny, and outside was the most beautiful spring.

The marriage certificate has to be applied at the domicile of either one of the parties. Pei Chuan and Bei Yao's domicile are both in C City, so they have to go back. The flight was at one o'clock, and they arrived at the Civil Affairs Bureau in C City at three o'clock.

Pei Chuan's hand trembled slightly as he filled out the Marriage Application Form. He tilted his head to look at Bei Yao. She wrote very carefully, her long eyelashes drooped, and her bangs were soft. Pei Chuan could not see her expression.

He withdrew his gaze.

After filling out the application form, they took a picture.

Yes sir, you have to smile. Marriage is a happy event.

Pei Chuans eyes couldnt help but show a gentle smile. The camera lens captured this forever. Bei Yao didnt know that this was the first time in Pei Chuans life that he looked into the camera full of anticipation.

This year, the fee to register for a marriage license was only nine yuan.

After taking the photo, every new pair of husband and wife have to go for a physical examination. The local womans hospital was right next door, which would let them take the examination in the andrology department and gynecology department separately to see if they were suitable for pregnancy in the future.

At this point, Bei Yao still felt a little unreal.

Wasnt it a date? Why did they get married?

And the gynecology and andrology things really made the young girl feel embarrassed.

She has a beautiful appearance and looked dazzling among the pairs of newly married couples. She also appeared very young and made people soft-hearted.

When Bei Yao came out with a red face, Pei Chuan had already finished his examination.

He was not embarrassed, but this kind of examination inevitably made the heart sway.

There was no problem, only the stump.

The staff member who stamped the seal was a middle-aged aunt in red clothes. She took the seal and said with a smile, Wish you two a happy marriage, to be together forever and grow old for a hundred years.

Pei Chuan nodded and looked at her stamp.

Bei Yao said in a small voice, Thank you.

The staff found this pair of newlyweds strange. One was staring at her stamp, as if afraid she might not put the stamp on or something unexpected might happen. Meanwhile, the girl looked very young and attractive, and she was shyer than other brides. One sentence of blessings made her eyes sparkle. The staff laughed secretly.She is a really sweet little wife ah.

Two red stamps fell, and the marriage certificates were in their hands.

When the dust settled, Pei Chuan didnt open his eyes. He didnt dare let her see the uncontrollable joy spreading in it.

Two red books. Bei Yao flipped open the books to see the photos on it.

Her smile was very sweet, like the soft wind of March, with the sparkle of stars in her eyes.

She strangely poked the photo of Pei Chuan. You look good when you smile.

How should I say... some things, no matter how deep they were hidden, were finally betrayed by a piece of photo. It could be seen from the warmth seeping from the eyes.

Pei Chuans throat moved. You will still have to go back to school, let me take the marriage certificate.

She nodded and gave him both of the marriage certificates.

Bei Yao has always thought that marriage was a very distant matter.Its still very unreal ah, such a simple little book, and she and he are now husband and wife?

The identity changed suddenly.

She had a strange feeling of a little bride in her heart.

Pei Chuan put away the marriage certificate carefully and said, Do you have a class in the afternoon?

Bei Yao nodded. She looked at his eyes and said blankly, Do I have to go to class now?

Pei Chuans eyes were dark. Take a leave of absence okay? We still have a wedding ceremony. When he said these words, his body was tense. Seeing her in a daze, Pei Chuan pursed his lips and continued, Having a marriage ceremony will make Jiang Huaqiong believe it more.

Bei Yao: ...Oh, Its like that ah.

She obediently asked for a leave.

Its usually quite easy to ask for a leave from the university counselor. When the counselor asked for the reason, the breeze brushed on Bei Yaos, but it couldnt dissipate the heat. She said, Marriage.

......

The permit was approved.

Bei Yao looked at Pei Chuan, her expression slowly relaxed. Everything went so fast, and she only thought about everything now: the plane ticket was expensive, Pei Chuans houses price was sky high, and the wedding seemed to cost a lot of money ah!

He just came out of prison. Before, she was afraid he was sensitive and never asked about his job. He originally married her to protect her.He couldnt have borrowed money from Jin Ziyang ba!

She whispered, The wedding is not important, just go through the formality."

She has to go back and see if she has any savings... She couldn't let Pei Chuan "carry the debt" alone.

Pei Chuan's eyes dimmed. He lowered his eyes, hiding the loss in his heart. "En."

She originally did not want to let many people know.

No matter how the wedding was held, Bei Yao definitely had to get married from home*.

*t/n:In Chinese marriage, one part of the ceremony is to take the bride from her maternal familys home to their home.

Pei Chuan sent her home first. The wedding date has not been decided yet. They must ask Zhao Zhilan and her husbands opinion on this. When the two went to Bei Yaos house, Bei Yao was more nervous than Pei Chuan.

She knew Zhao Zhilans temper, her mother would not like Pei Chuan. She stood on tiptoe and whispered, My mother has a bad mouth but a good heart. Dont take it to heart if she says anything unpleasant.

His ear was itchy, his heart softened. He replied, En.

It was Zhao Zhilan who opened the door this time. After the incident with Huo Xu, Zhao Zhilan and Bei Licai had no jobs. They didnt even dare to let Xiao Bei Jun go to school, and could only stay at home.

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Seeing Pei Chuan return with her daughter, she thought that they likely had already gotten the certificate. Zhao Zhilan held back. "Come in."

Her attitude was cold and indifferent, but there was nothing wrong with it.

She was not satisfied with her son-in-law, but her daughter was the treasure of her heart.

Zhao Zhilan asked Bei Yao, What do you want to eat tonight, mom will make it for you.

Bei Yao asked Pei Chuan, "It's your first time coming to my house for dinner, right? What do you want to eat? My mom has very good craftsmanship."

Pei Chuan didn't need to look to know Zhao Zhilan's murderous gaze, but his heart was a little warm. "I'll eat whatever you eat."

Bei Yao thought for a while. Then lets eat steamed head fish with chopped chili and mapo tofu? Later I will go shopping for groceries with my mom.

Zhao Zhilan saw that Bei Yao was so partial to Pei Chuan. She felt uncomfortable, hummed, and went into the kitchen.

Bei Licai sat on the sofa and didn't talk to Pei Chuan.

Pei Chuan said to Bei Yao, "You watch TV, I'll help Aunt Zhao."

She blinked. He said in a low voice, Be good, I have to make her happy.

He said. And he really went into the kitchen.

Zhao Zhilan couldnt swallow her anger. They had gotten the certificate, but their daughter still didnt know that this boy had threatened her parents. Zhao Zhilan couldnt say anything now. After all, it might make her daughter sad if she said it.

Zhao Zhilan: What are you doing here?

Pei Chuan rolled up his sleeves and began washing the vegetables. The mans small, strong arms were dipped in cold water. He said, Aunt Zhao, Ill cook.

Zhao Zhilan couldnt hold back anymore. Humph!

She went out and did not refuse. She pulled Bei Yao and said, There is nothing in the kitchen, lets go shopping.

Bei Jun wanted to follow along, but Zhao Zhilan said, You stay at home, youre not allowed to follow!

Pei Chuan frowned.

He has a keen mind. If Zhao Zhilan didnt want Bei Jun to follow, she must have something she wanted to say to Bei Yao. His hand in the cold water paused, his eyes went dark and quiet.

Bei Yao held her mothers hand. The vegetable market was not far from the neighborhood.

On the way, Zhao Zhilan asked in a small voice, Already got the certificate?

Bei Yao nodded. It was dusk out. The sun was setting in the west, and there was a special kind of tranquillity.

Zhao Zhilan hasn't slept well in the past few days. She asked Bei Yao, "You also know about Huo Xu, right? Did you marry Pei Chuan voluntarily?"

"En, I know. Pei Chuan didn't force me. I think it's good to marry him."

Zhao Zhilan couldn't help but poke her daughter's forehead with her finger. "You idiot. Very good, very good. What's good about him being like that?"

Bei Yao covered her forehead. I think everything about him is good.

ZHao Zhilan said, This matter of marriage, I and your father have to agree. But Yaoyao, mom has to tell you something.

Zhao Zhilan looked at her young daughter and said, Marriage is not dating. Its two people being together for a lifetime*. Living a married life is far more difficult than what people think, and you can't guarantee that he will love you for the rest of your life. Pei Chuan is not a very good candidate for marriage. First of all, his family, his parents divorced, and when Peis team had an accident no one was willing to take care of him. Children born out of this kind of family have an unpredictable character and lots of thoughts. This kind of family also makes people worried.

*t/n:The raw said the life of firewood, rice, oil, and salt (), these four things are basic necessities in ancient times, you cant live without. It represents love and marriage, meaning that people need to experience and survive the sweet and bitter things in building a family.

Before he only had a biological mother, but now he has a stepmother and a step-sister, adding to it is a dad whos unclear about his own feelingsthink about it when marrying him. Youre almost married, but we still dont know where her mother is.

"Secondly, he had been in prison. If you marry him, you will have to bear a lot of gossip. Some people have poisonous mouths and their words are unpleasant to hear. Lastly the problem with his body. Others will always look at you differently because of this. Dont mind the others, and just think about yourself. Its better when youre still young, but when youre old, when you two live together, is it possible for you to work like a horse* to serve him?

*t/n:To work extremely hard.

Bei Yao listened quietly and waited until Zhao Zhilan finished talking. She looked at the alley in the distance. The market was very lively; the sunset stretched her shadow.

His family is not good but it doesnt mean that hes the same. Mom, in this world, the victim always seems to be guilty. But what he cannot do, I will teach him. What he doesnt understand, I will show him. No one is born to be good or bad. Because fate is not fair to him, we cannot treat him unfairly too.

Her voice was very calm. Its me wholl live my life, and I dont mind it. Other peoples gossip is irrelevant. His body I understand. But mom, you said marriage is a two person affair. When were young, he doted on me the most. When were old, I should take care of him, shouldnt I?

Zhao Zhilan was shocked by these remarks. She was originally afraid that her daughter was still young and didnt understand anything, and intended to talk to her. But she did not expect Yaoyao to say such things.

Zhao Zhilans heart was touched, but she didnt relax. Well said. Lets buy the groceries first.

The grandmother selling tofu was old and the wrinkles on her face were like folds.

Zhao Zhilan usually liked to bargain when buying vegetables, but she never bargained when she bought grandmas tofu. On the contrary, she bought more every time.

The mother and daughter finished shopping. Zhao Zhilan squinted at her daughter. I cannot beat your glib tongue. You can say such beautiful words because you havent experienced it. Ill see if you will regret it later. She suppressed her voice. Look at Grandma Chen, her husband is blind. How many people know the suffering she carries? She endured a lot when she was young, but when she is old, she still has to wake up and push her cart to sell tofu before dawn. Her husband cant help with anything, you say, does she have a hard life?

After Zhao Zhilan finished speaking, she remembered the five million in the bank card. But she straightened her face and did not let her serious expression break.

Bei Yao was stunned, and she retorted in a low voice, "But Grandma Chen smiles every day. The other aunts, who have a healthy husband, don't have a smile on their face."

...... Zhao Zhilans embarrassment turned into rage. Im not in the mood to care about you!

After buying the vegetables, they went back.

Zhao Zhilan who was too lazy to care for her daughter and bore it all the way, but she couldnt help but say, I tell you. How old are you, and how old am I? The rice you ate cant compare to the salt Ive eaten!* You are still a student, just in case you regret it in a few years, its already too late to cry. Lets say, after marriage the most basic thing will be sleeping on the same bed. Tell me the truth, has he touched you before?

*t/n:This refers to the last thing about hardships in love and marriage.

Bei Yao could still talk indifferently before. However, her mother, who usually told her to protect herself, at this time was asking such a straightforward question. Her face was red. N... No.

Zhao Zhilan sighed when she heard this answer. She finally didnt hate Pei Chuan that much. At least he has a sense of propriety.

Zhao Zhilan said, "Then I will tell you the truth. After all, I watched him grow up. His character is not a big problem. But, he is different from a healthy person, and his body is disabled. Your generation thinks that chastity and innocence are outdated, but mom only wants you to know that even if you want to share a bed with him, you also need to know your limits. How old are you right now? Are you sure you want to stay with him for the rest of your life? What will you do if you have a child? When you wantwant to leave, youll have concerns.

However, she thought again and determined that these words were not auspicious.

Zhao Zhilan abruptly changed her words. "You can measure these things by yourself."

Measure, measure ah. Bei Yao didnt know what to think of the big wedding bed in B City.

Blushing silently, she simply wanted to cover her burning face.

Yeah, this was the only thing that made her a little bewildered and a little panicked.

The weather was sunny, and outside was the most beautiful spring.

The marriage certificate has to be applied at the domicile of either one of the parties. Pei Chuan and Bei Yao's domicile are both in C City, so they have to go back. The flight was at one o'clock, and they arrived at the Civil Affairs Bureau in C City at three o'clock.

Pei Chuan's hand trembled slightly as he filled out the Marriage Application Form. He tilted his head to look at Bei Yao. She wrote very carefully, her long eyelashes drooped, and her bangs were soft. Pei Chuan could not see her expression.

He withdrew his gaze.

After filling out the application form, they took a picture.

Yes sir, you have to smile. Marriage is a happy event.

Pei Chuans eyes couldnt help but show a gentle smile. The camera lens captured this forever. Bei Yao didnt know that this was the first time in Pei Chuans life that he looked into the camera full of anticipation.

This year, the fee to register for a marriage license was only nine yuan.

After taking the photo, every new pair of husband and wife have to go for a physical examination. The local womans hospital was right next door, which would let them take the examination in the andrology department and gynecology department separately to see if they were suitable for pregnancy in the future.

At this point, Bei Yao still felt a little unreal.

Wasnt it a date? Why did they get married?

And the gynecology and andrology things really made the young girl feel embarrassed.

She has a beautiful appearance and looked dazzling among the pairs of newly married couples. She also appeared very young and made people soft-hearted.

When Bei Yao came out with a red face, Pei Chuan had already finished his examination.

He was not embarrassed, but this kind of examination inevitably made the heart sway.

There was no problem, only the stump.

The staff member who stamped the seal was a middle-aged aunt in red clothes. She took the seal and said with a smile, Wish you two a happy marriage, to be together forever and grow old for a hundred years.

Pei Chuan nodded and looked at her stamp.

Bei Yao said in a small voice, Thank you.

The staff found this pair of newlyweds strange. One was staring at her stamp, as if afraid she might not put the stamp on or something unexpected might happen. Meanwhile, the girl looked very young and attractive, and she was shyer than other brides. One sentence of blessings made her eyes sparkle. The staff laughed secretly.She is a really sweet little wife ah.

Two red stamps fell, and the marriage certificates were in their hands.

When the dust settled, Pei Chuan didnt open his eyes. He didnt dare let her see the uncontrollable joy spreading in it.

Two red books. Bei Yao flipped open the books to see the photos on it.

Her smile was very sweet, like the soft wind of March, with the sparkle of stars in her eyes.

She strangely poked the photo of Pei Chuan. You look good when you smile.

How should I say... some things, no matter how deep they were hidden, were finally betrayed by a piece of photo. It could be seen from the warmth seeping from the eyes.

Pei Chuans throat moved. You will still have to go back to school, let me take the marriage certificate.

She nodded and gave him both of the marriage certificates.

Bei Yao has always thought that marriage was a very distant matter.Its still very unreal ah, such a simple little book, and she and he are now husband and wife?

The identity changed suddenly.

She had a strange feeling of a little bride in her heart.

Pei Chuan put away the marriage certificate carefully and said, Do you have a class in the afternoon?

Bei Yao nodded. She looked at his eyes and said blankly, Do I have to go to class now?

Pei Chuans eyes were dark. Take a leave of absence okay? We still have a wedding ceremony. When he said these words, his body was tense. Seeing her in a daze, Pei Chuan pursed his lips and continued, Having a marriage ceremony will make Jiang Huaqiong believe it more.

Bei Yao: ...Oh, Its like that ah.

She obediently asked for a leave.

Its usually quite easy to ask for a leave from the university counselor. When the counselor asked for the reason, the breeze brushed on Bei Yaos, but it couldnt dissipate the heat. She said, Marriage.

......

The permit was approved.

Bei Yao looked at Pei Chuan, her expression slowly relaxed. Everything went so fast, and she only thought about everything now: the plane ticket was expensive, Pei Chuans houses price was sky high, and the wedding seemed to cost a lot of money ah!

He just came out of prison. Before, she was afraid he was sensitive and never asked about his job. He originally married her to protect her.He couldnt have borrowed money from Jin Ziyang ba!

She whispered, The wedding is not important, just go through the formality."

She has to go back and see if she has any savings... She couldn't let Pei Chuan "carry the debt" alone.

Pei Chuan's eyes dimmed. He lowered his eyes, hiding the loss in his heart. "En."

She originally did not want to let many people know.

No matter how the wedding was held, Bei Yao definitely had to get married from home*.

*t/n:In Chinese marriage, one part of the ceremony is to take the bride from her maternal familys home to their home.

Pei Chuan sent her home first. The wedding date has not been decided yet. They must ask Zhao Zhilan and her husbands opinion on this. When the two went to Bei Yaos house, Bei Yao was more nervous than Pei Chuan.

She knew Zhao Zhilans temper, her mother would not like Pei Chuan. She stood on tiptoe and whispered, My mother has a bad mouth but a good heart. Dont take it to heart if she says anything unpleasant.

His ear was itchy, his heart softened. He replied, En.

It was Zhao Zhilan who opened the door this time. After the incident with Huo Xu, Zhao Zhilan and Bei Licai had no jobs. They didnt even dare to let Xiao Bei Jun go to school, and could only stay at home.

Seeing Pei Chuan return with her daughter, she thought that they likely had already gotten the certificate. Zhao Zhilan held back. "Come in."

Her attitude was cold and indifferent, but there was nothing wrong with it.

She was not satisfied with her son-in-law, but her daughter was the treasure of her heart.

Zhao Zhilan asked Bei Yao, What do you want to eat tonight, mom will make it for you.

Bei Yao asked Pei Chuan, "It's your first time coming to my house for dinner, right? What do you want to eat? My mom has very good craftsmanship."

Pei Chuan didn't need to look to know Zhao Zhilan's murderous gaze, but his heart was a little warm. "I'll eat whatever you eat."

Bei Yao thought for a while. Then lets eat steamed head fish with chopped chili and mapo tofu? Later I will go shopping for groceries with my mom.

Zhao Zhilan saw that Bei Yao was so partial to Pei Chuan. She felt uncomfortable, hummed, and went into the kitchen.

Bei Licai sat on the sofa and didn't talk to Pei Chuan.

Pei Chuan said to Bei Yao, "You watch TV, I'll help Aunt Zhao."

She blinked. He said in a low voice, Be good, I have to make her happy.

He said. And he really went into the kitchen.

Zhao Zhilan couldnt swallow her anger. They had gotten the certificate, but their daughter still didnt know that this boy had threatened her parents. Zhao Zhilan couldnt say anything now. After all, it might make her daughter sad if she said it.

Zhao Zhilan: What are you doing here?

Pei Chuan rolled up his sleeves and began washing the vegetables. The mans small, strong arms were dipped in cold water. He said, Aunt Zhao, Ill cook.

Zhao Zhilan couldnt hold back anymore. Humph!

She went out and did not refuse. She pulled Bei Yao and said, There is nothing in the kitchen, lets go shopping.

Bei Jun wanted to follow along, but Zhao Zhilan said, You stay at home, youre not allowed to follow!

Pei Chuan frowned.

He has a keen mind. If Zhao Zhilan didnt want Bei Jun to follow, she must have something she wanted to say to Bei Yao. His hand in the cold water paused, his eyes went dark and quiet.

Bei Yao held her mothers hand. The vegetable market was not far from the neighborhood.

On the way, Zhao Zhilan asked in a small voice, Already got the certificate?

Bei Yao nodded. It was dusk out. The sun was setting in the west, and there was a special kind of tranquillity.

Zhao Zhilan hasn't slept well in the past few days. She asked Bei Yao, "You also know about Huo Xu, right? Did you marry Pei Chuan voluntarily?"

"En, I know. Pei Chuan didn't force me. I think it's good to marry him."

Zhao Zhilan couldn't help but poke her daughter's forehead with her finger. "You idiot. Very good, very good. What's good about him being like that?"

Bei Yao covered her forehead. I think everything about him is good.

ZHao Zhilan said, This matter of marriage, I and your father have to agree. But Yaoyao, mom has to tell you something.

Zhao Zhilan looked at her young daughter and said, Marriage is not dating. Its two people being together for a lifetime*. Living a married life is far more difficult than what people think, and you can't guarantee that he will love you for the rest of your life. Pei Chuan is not a very good candidate for marriage. First of all, his family, his parents divorced, and when Peis team had an accident no one was willing to take care of him. Children born out of this kind of family have an unpredictable character and lots of thoughts. This kind of family also makes people worried.

*t/n:The raw said the life of firewood, rice, oil, and salt (), these four things are basic necessities in ancient times, you cant live without. It represents love and marriage, meaning that people need to experience and survive the sweet and bitter things in building a family.

Before he only had a biological mother, but now he has a stepmother and a step-sister, adding to it is a dad whos unclear about his own feelingsthink about it when marrying him. Youre almost married, but we still dont know where her mother is.

"Secondly, he had been in prison. If you marry him, you will have to bear a lot of gossip. Some people have poisonous mouths and their words are unpleasant to hear. Lastly the problem with his body. Others will always look at you differently because of this. Dont mind the others, and just think about yourself. Its better when youre still young, but when youre old, when you two live together, is it possible for you to work like a horse* to serve him?

*t/n:To work extremely hard.

Bei Yao listened quietly and waited until Zhao Zhilan finished talking. She looked at the alley in the distance. The market was very lively; the sunset stretched her shadow.

His family is not good but it doesnt mean that hes the same. Mom, in this world, the victim always seems to be guilty. But what he cannot do, I will teach him. What he doesnt understand, I will show him. No one is born to be good or bad. Because fate is not fair to him, we cannot treat him unfairly too.

Her voice was very calm. Its me wholl live my life, and I dont mind it. Other peoples gossip is irrelevant. His body I understand. But mom, you said marriage is a two person affair. When were young, he doted on me the most. When were old, I should take care of him, shouldnt I?

Zhao Zhilan was shocked by these remarks. She was originally afraid that her daughter was still young and didnt understand anything, and intended to talk to her. But she did not expect Yaoyao to say such things.

Zhao Zhilans heart was touched, but she didnt relax. Well said. Lets buy the groceries first.

The grandmother selling tofu was old and the wrinkles on her face were like folds.

Zhao Zhilan usually liked to bargain when buying vegetables, but she never bargained when she bought grandmas tofu. On the contrary, she bought more every time.

The mother and daughter finished shopping. Zhao Zhilan squinted at her daughter. I cannot beat your glib tongue. You can say such beautiful words because you havent experienced it. Ill see if you will regret it later. She suppressed her voice. Look at Grandma Chen, her husband is blind. How many people know the suffering she carries? She endured a lot when she was young, but when she is old, she still has to wake up and push her cart to sell tofu before dawn. Her husband cant help with anything, you say, does she have a hard life?

After Zhao Zhilan finished speaking, she remembered the five million in the bank card. But she straightened her face and did not let her serious expression break.

Bei Yao was stunned, and she retorted in a low voice, "But Grandma Chen smiles every day. The other aunts, who have a healthy husband, don't have a smile on their face."

...... Zhao Zhilans embarrassment turned into rage. Im not in the mood to care about you!

After buying the vegetables, they went back.

Zhao Zhilan who was too lazy to care for her daughter and bore it all the way, but she couldnt help but say, I tell you. How old are you, and how old am I? The rice you ate cant compare to the salt Ive eaten!* You are still a student, just in case you regret it in a few years, its already too late to cry. Lets say, after marriage the most basic thing will be sleeping on the same bed. Tell me the truth, has he touched you before?

*t/n:This refers to the last thing about hardships in love and marriage.

Bei Yao could still talk indifferently before. However, her mother, who usually told her to protect herself, at this time was asking such a straightforward question. Her face was red. N... No.

Zhao Zhilan sighed when she heard this answer. She finally didnt hate Pei Chuan that much. At least he has a sense of propriety.

Zhao Zhilan said, "Then I will tell you the truth. After all, I watched him grow up. His character is not a big problem. But, he is different from a healthy person, and his body is disabled. Your generation thinks that chastity and innocence are outdated, but mom only wants you to know that even if you want to share a bed with him, you also need to know your limits. How old are you right now? Are you sure you want to stay with him for the rest of your life? What will you do if you have a child? When you wantwant to leave, youll have concerns.

However, she thought again and determined that these words were not auspicious.

Zhao Zhilan abruptly changed her words. "You can measure these things by yourself."

Measure, measure ah. Bei Yao didnt know what to think of the big wedding bed in B City.

Blushing silently, she simply wanted to cover her burning face.

Yeah, this was the only thing that made her a little bewildered and a little panicked.