Don't be So Proud

Chapter 6.2 — The Person He Likes Is Me

The most beautiful things in this world arise from misunderstanding. The most awkward situations, where one can neither laugh nor weep, also stem from misunderstanding.

In his left hand, He Zhi Zhou held his mobile phone, while his right arm naturally hung down. His cigarette still had not been extinguished. As a result of Lin Yu Tang’s words, aside from the coughing that came over him, the tips of his fingers were also trembling, and he almost burned himself with that lighted cigarette.

“Wait.” He Zhi Zhou spoke up, also anxious now.

On the other end of the line, Lin Yu Tang had shouted out that sentence truly out of a moment of desperation. He only hoped that Shen Xi would wake up and not stubbornly hold on to her mistaken ways. However, the instant those words fell off his lips, even he could hear hints of how bizarre they sounded.

His intention was to win Shen Xi back from He Zhi Zhou, but when those words were spoken, it sounded more like he wanted to win He Zhi Zhou from Shen Xi… A splitting headache pounded in Lin Yu Tang’s head. Gathering and calming his emotions slightly, he unscrupulously dragged both Monkey and Brawny into the mess as well as, he strugglingly said, “Xi Xi… He Zhi Zhou also likes Monkey.”

Sh*t! And Monkey, too? He Zhi Zhou quickly launched into another round of coughing until even his heart and lungs were almost expelled out.

Lin Yu Tang was worried that the stubborn Shen Xi would end up being duped by He Zhi Zhou and hence, could not concern himself with loyalty to his roomies. He continued, “… And there might also be Zhou Chen.”

Even Zhou Chen was included… Brawny?

Blackness swam in front of He Zhi Zhou’s eyes. He nearly did fall over and pass out. After a long time, trying as best as he could to stay calm, he said, “Lin Yu Tang, you have misunderstood He Zhi Zhou.”

“Misunderstood?” Lin Yu Tang did not believe that everything that happened inside the dormitory room could be explained as a simple “misunderstanding.” Since he intended on telling everything to Shen Xi today, that meant he had carefully thought through all the issues from beginning to end. As soon as Shen Xi stopped this joke of a relationship with He Zhi Zhou, he would move out of dorm room 921.

Lin Yu Tang wanted to continue speaking, but He Zhi Zhou cut him short.

“Lin Yu Tang, I can unequivocally tell you that He Zhi Zhou is a normal man, and even more so, he will not fall for anyone of the male gender, be it you, or Monkey, or Brawny.” He Zhi Zhou had spoken this in one continuous breath, and only his slightly faster speed of speaking betrayed his furiously flustered state. He carried on, “I do not know why you would make that conjecture, but I advise that you don’t continue imagining things in that direction because they are completely contrary to reality.”

Imagining things? Shen Xi actually said that he was imagining things? He had to be sick in order for him to imagine that He Zhi Zhou had fallen in love with him! Lin Yu Tang really wished he could slap Shen Xi awake so she would actually use her brain! And what did she say just now? How could she so absolutely, unequivocally state that He Zhi Zhou was a normal man?

“Shen Xi, He Zhi Zhou is a pervert! He’s honestly not normal!” Lin Yu Tang stressed this with all his life.

“Really?” He Zhi Zhou’s tone became somewhat flat and removed. As he lifted his head to look at the azure sky, apart from the noisy cry of cicadas, drifting into his ear from far away were the sounds of Shen Xi teaching dance to those children…

When he opened his mouth again, He Zhi Zhou’s tone was even more indifferent than before. “Lin Yu Tang, I am very clear on whether He Zhi Zhou is normal or not.” Saying this, he very quickly and decisively hung up the phone.

Lin Yu Tang nearly hurled his mobile phone into the ground.

Snuffing out the cigarette that he had been holding, He Zhi Zhou walked out from the rear garden. His hands had the odour of cigarettes on them, so prior to heading to the dance practice room, he washed them in the row of ponds on the far left side of the garden.

The practice room was on the second floor. Following the sound of the music, he went upstairs and then pushed open the door to classroom number six. Colorful foam mats covered the floor, and the speakers inside the room were playing a light, lively, charming tune. Inside, Shen Xi was sitting in the middle of a troop of children, her head tilted and her hands clapping to the beat of the music.

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Two children were behaving flippantly. Shen Xi pulled them aside individually and disciplined them by sending them to remain standing off to the side. Standing by the wall, the two children turned their bottoms toward Shen Xi. After a little while, they began furtively winking at He Zhi Zhou, who was by the doorway.

He Zhi Zhou also blinked his eyes back at them, looking even more innocent than a little child.

Spotting their little actions, Shen Xi turned around and saw He Zhi Zhou standing at the door.

The dance move that followed required the children to work together in pairs. Shen Xi had been concerned that there was no one to work with her to demonstrate the move when she caught sight of He Zhi Zhou. Immediately, she called him over into the classroom and told the children, “For this next move, this big sister and I, your big brother, will perform it once first. Make sure you guys all watch carefully.”

He Zhi Zhou glared at Shen Xi.

Shen Xi simply grabbed his hand. “Tilt your head to the left a bit.”

He Zhi Zhou raised his eyelids briefly but remained standing still.

Acting all cool, are you? No problem. Shen Xi had a trick that always worked on He Zhi Zhou. She gazed directly at him, then in a very cute manner, pouted up her lips. He Zhi Zhou simply could not stand this little action of hers, and in order to prevent her from doing it, he would agree to any request, regardless of how out of line it was.

Sure enough, that picture before his eyes was just too beautiful. He Zhi Zhou could not bear to even look at it directly. Very stiffly, he tilted his head to the left slightly.

At once, Shen Xi complemented his action and tilted her own head to the right. Then holding his hand, they walked around in a circle. This was a children’s dance, so the dance moves were juvenile and simple. During the entire process, He Zhi Zhou was a little passive and accepting of everything. His eyes beheld his “own” appearance, but his brain was already able to automatically fill in Shen Xi’s face acting cute, and the resistance he had been putting up lessened even more.

Noticing that He Zhi Zhou’s mind had drifted elsewhere, Shen Xi stepped on his foot. When He Zhi Zhou lifted his eyes to look at the person in front of him, he immediately woke back to his senses.

The morning passed by quickly. Soon, Shen Xi was bidding farewell to the children. Prior to leaving, a mischievous boy, his eyes curved into crescents, asked her, “Big brother, are you Big Sister Shen Xi’s boyfriend?”

Shen Xi put a hand on He Zhi Zhou’s shoulder. “Nope, we are… people brought together by fate.”

People brought together by fate… He Zhi Zhou made a cool scoffing sound in response to that. Turning around, he walked away ahead of Shen Xi. Shen Xi grabbed her bag and chased after him, cheerfully poking her head over to say, “He Zhi Zhou, thanks for your help today.”

He Zhi Zhou did not answer. After some time, he opened his mouth and coldly reminded, “Shen Xi, you need to mind yourself in the male dorm.”

With some words, He Zhi Zhou would only state what was necessary and then stop after the meaning had been conveyed. Shen Xi could understand a bit of what he was trying to say. Nodding, she promised, “I absolutely will not disturb the relationship between all of your roomies. Monkey, Brawny, and even… Lin Yu Tang all like me.” She had added Lin Yu Tang in so He Zhi Zhou would have a bit more confidence in her.

All like her… He Zhi Zhou instantly remembered Lin Yu Tang’s sentence, “The one he likes is me.” The temper that he had managed with great difficulty to repress now flared right back up again. Anger seemed to flood his chest, and the stare he was fixing on Shen Xi was so cold it was as if it was firing arrows at her.

Shen Xi took a couple steps backward. He Zhi Zhou, though, shoved her straight into the wall. His left hand gripped her shoulder. Crack, crack rang out from his knuckles. The look he was wearing was one of murder.

Shen Xi was a little frightened. Bending down into a half-squat, she called out feebly, “Big Brother He…”

He Zhi Zhou’s face and heart completely hardened. He gave a fierce pinch to Shen XI’s face. “Shen Xi, do you remember what I said to you before?”

Shen Xi immediately thought of the saying, “the brave warrior severs his own wrist” [when the hand of a brave fighter has been bitten by a venomous snake, he will sever it off at the wrist; analogy to someone who will act decisively and make sacrifices for the bigger picture]. Very tentatively, she spoke up, “Big Brother He, why are you all of a sudden…”

“All of a sudden?” He Zhi Zhou had all intentions of teaching her a lesson. With a light “hmph,” he stated, “You feel it’s sudden, but I feel I’ve already indulged your whims for a long time.”

How could it be “a long time”? Shen Xi was squatting lower and lower. That 180-something metre tall build had squatted down so that it was only half its original height. At last, she tilted her face upward and, in a rather shamefully uncouth and idiotic manner, asked He Zhi Zhou, “Could it be, Big Brother He, you have become addicted to being a woman, so today, you intend on burying my corpse and destroying all the evidence?”

Ha ha ha ha…

In the end, He Zhi Zhou was no match for Shen Xi, and hence, he could only choose to adjust his own emotional state. When Shen Xi saw that He Zhi Zhou’s expression had eased up slightly, she dashed off, running ahead of him.

She was now a long-legged oppa [Korean, roughly meaning older brother; older male friend], so her running speed was just downright fast.

As he stood behind her and allowed his eyes to follow after her, feeling powerless, he felt a headache come onto him. After some time, he said to that person up ahead, “Do you want to eat something outside before heading back?”

The person in front of him slowly came to a stop. Although she did not turn around, with her back to him, she raised her arm and made an “okay” sign with her fingers. Then, taking a couple steps, she “suavely” turned back and declared, “I had that exact intention!”

That afternoon, Shen Xi accompanied He Zhi Zhou in his classes—wait, no, it should be “helped him deal with his classes.”

In the final class of the day, which was a faculty-common class, she openly brought He Zhi Zhou along to sit with her in the very back of the classroom. With these large, common classes, it was not unusual to bring your girlfriend along to keep you company.

Shen Xi was always a good, attentive student when attending classes. This was a practice she had developed since she was a child, despite not understanding a single thing that the old professor was saying right now. In contrast, He Zhi Zhou, the true student of this class, was leaning back into the seatback and playing around on his mobile phone, displaying an utterly indolent manner.

He Zhi Zhou turned his head to glance over Shen Xi’s earnest expression and was a little puzzled. Was it really necessary for her to be like that?

Shen Xi copied down the notes that the old professor was writing on the blackboard. In large, common classes like this one, not many students were actually conscientious and took things seriously. With only a single glance, the old professor was able to spot the one who was most conscientious, and immediately, he called Shen Xi out to answer a class problem.

He Zhi Zhou sighed. Swish, swish. He wrote out the answer to the problem in his notebook and swiftly handed it over to Shen Xi. Standing, Shen Xi cleared her throat. In a voice that rose and fell in cadence, she read out the answer like she was reciting a poem.

The old professor praised her extremely, and the entire class gave her a round of applause.

Only He Zhi Zhou sat there with his forehead buried in his palm in complete agony. Did she really need to take this science problem and recite it out like it was a something from primary school literary arts? And plus, she had mispronounced the name of one of the symbols. Couldn’t anyone in this whole group hear that?

His heart feeling dead as ashes, He Zhi Zhou shut his eyes. Recently, he had come to a conclusion: the only way to resolve his pain and agony nowadays was to treat himself as if he were dead… dead…

It was better to be dead, aaaah!

Shen Xi continued her attentive listening of the class lecture. In between, there was only one small diversion. Suddenly thinking of a question, she pointed at that old, loquacious professor, whose saliva seemed to be flying everywhere from his talking, and quietly asked He Zhi Zhou, “Why do Brawny and Monkey call him 15-Watt Bulb?”

He Zhi Zhou gave a light cough. Leaning close to Shen Xi’s ear, he told her, “Look at his head.”

Shen Xi seemed to all of a sudden understand. “I know! His head is shaped like a light bulb.”

“No.” He Zhi Zhou leaned in again and continued to explain, “A 15-watt bulb has just a little bit of brightness.” [光 means “light,” “bright,” or “brightness,” but it is also the Chinese character for “bald” or “balding.” So, the nickname, 15-Watt Bulb, with its little bit of brightness, is making fun of the professor for balding.]

Shen Xi lifted her head to look at the top of the old professor’s head that was nearly completely bald and could not hold back a grin. However, the corner of her lips had just turned upward when she received a pinch on her thigh. Sob sob… That hurt!

The old professor had handed out a lot of homework. After eating in the school dining area, Shen Xi and He Zhi Zhou went together to the library. When some of their actions fell into Brawny and Monkey’s gazes, the two felt that perhaps, possibly, perchance, maybe Leader and Beautiful Maiden Shen were serious about their relationship…

But when these fell into Lin Yu Tang’s gaze, he had only four words—his heart had died.

In the self-study room of the library, He Zhi Zhou worked on his assignments from these last two days. Bored and with nothing to do, Shen Xi read some of the library’s novels. He Zhi Zhou tossed a little wad of paper over at her. She raised her head.

“You’re not going to memorize your English vocab words?” He Zhi Zhou questioned.

Shen Xi gave a laugh, an expression of “You sure know how to make a joke” written on her face. She said to He Zhi Zhou, “Don’t I have you?”

“That isn’t for certain. Who knows? Maybe tomorrow the two of us will be going back to our original identities,” He Zhi Zhou refuted mercilessly.

Thus, Shen Xi had no choice but to grudgingly grab a book of CET-4 English vocabulary words. Sprawling herself on the table, she also began to memorize. The study room at times was completely quiet while at other times, it echoed with the sounds of flipping pages and discussing voices. Whenever Shen Xi arbitrarily lifted her head, she would always be able to see He Zhi Zhou suavely spinning his pen.

There were two states of studying: one was the state of the sucky student; one was the state of the top-of-the-class type of student. When sucky students worked on homework, they would pull at their own hair while, at the same time, gnawing on their pen—for example, her. When top students did homework, they would spin their pens while reading through the assignment questions, and in between, they could even send text messages—for example, the person across from her, He Zhi Zhou.

Shen Xi thought of the Weibo account, “Islet in the River,” that she had recently registered and felt that she should post something that gave off positive energy to attract fans. Pondering for a moment, she picked up her mobile phone, aimed it at the CET-4 vocabulary book, and took a photograph. Then, she posted the photo with some words: Are all of you prepared yet?

Someone immediately popped up to snag the “sofa spot” [first comment in reply]: God He, you still haven’t passed the CET-4 exam yet?

Shen Xi answered: No, I’m just encouraging you guys.

—Thank you, God He, for your encouragement. On my knees in thanks, on my knees. Bless me so that, this time, passing the test will be a sure thing for me.

……

It sure felt so darn good being a top student! Shen Xi set down her mobile phone and said to He Zhi Zhou, “Big Brother He, I’m going to go use the bathroom.”

Nodding, He Zhi Zhou offhandedly instructed, “Go ahead. Don’t walk into the wrong one.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t get it wrong,” Shen Xi assured him, then stepped quietly out of the study room.

After Shen Xi left, He Zhi Zhou’s eyes happened to sweep over her phone that she had left on the table. Messages were coming incessantly into it. Reaching over, he grabbed it. And then, he saw the Weibo belonging to “Islet in the River.”

This was what was written in the personal introduction for “Islet in the River”: Love life, love learning. To be a joyful and happy top student.

He Zhi Zhou’s hand quivered a couple of times. Inside his mind, a few sentences suddenly popped out: This time, don’t let yourself feel bad and not have the heart to do it! Just straight up beat her to death! Beat to the death!

Ling Chao Xi needed to go back. Prior to leaving, she still came to find Lin Yu Tang. In a cold-beverage shop across from the university, Ling Chao Xi ordered a cup of watermelon juice for herself. Lin Yu Tang still kept to his old habit and told the server, “A lime black tea.”

Ling Chao Xi pressed her lips together, trying her best to make herself appear casual and unbothered. She said, “Class Monitor, I’m here already, so I want to bring an answer with me when I leave.”

Lin Yu Tang’s slender fingers brushed against the black tea that was on the table. Calmly, he looked at Ling Chao Xi. “Chao Xi, all along, I have not felt at all that Shen Xi and I have broken up.”

Ling Chao Xi’s hands were gripped so tightly on to one another they were about to fuse into one.

His back against the seat, Lin Yu Tang spoke in a voice that, as usual, was neutral and calm. “Since I was a kid, my mom has said that I’m heartless rascal. I will smile at everyone, but in reality, my heart is cooler and more insipid than anyone else’s. So, you should not like me.”

Ling Chao Xi left.

Lin Yu Tang rode his bicycle back to the men’s dormitory. The entire way was a tree-lined road. A cool summer breeze caressed the face. Some memories of years past seemed to blow with that evening breeze into his heart. He remembered how one time, when Shen Xi was making her birthday wish, she had said, “I wish that everyone will like me.”

At the time, he had been rather surprised with Shen Xi’s way of thinking. Why would you want everyone to like you? Liking was a form of investment of time and energy. When someone liked you and treated you well and with kindness, you needed to respond to it. Wouldn’t it be tiring to live that way?

Later, he finally somewhat understood. Shen Xi was like the passionate colour of red. He and she were two completely opposite types of people…

Lin Yu Tang parked his bicycle in the covered bicycle parking area downstairs of the dormitory building. When he stepped into the building, the female dormitory staff who was on duty downstairs asked him to sign in. Stepping forward, he took the sign-in list from her and found room 921 on it.

In the sign-in box for each day, there were Monkey’s handwriting, Brawny’s, as well as… Shen Xi’s?

Lin Yu Tang felt his heart truly was going to leap out of his chest.