Ep 169. Confessions of the Historian: Student and Teacher
Ep 169. Confessions of the Historian: Student and Teacher
Confessions of the Historian are non-continuous pseudo chapters that feature a timeframe far removed from the main story. They will not affect the main story’s update schedule, and will instead be uploaded at random intervals alongside them.
Ep 169. Confessions of the Historian: Student and Teacher
If one’s race is defined by their physical attributes, then what race does a life unbound by such attributes belong to?
For eons, we have simply called such phenomena manaspawns: clumps of mana itself taken form of life.
However, without proper shape nor form, they were given numerous names besides…numerous titles besides. Monsters, spirits, familiars, phantoms…
Livestock. Pets. Friends and enemies.
And, at times…
✧ ✧ ✧
“H…help…”
“Hmph.”
The man reached out his hand in desperation as his soul was slowly sucked out of his being.
Despite his dying pleas, the man’s voice remained unanswered within the fogs of Mire Forest.
Soon, translucent smoke would be whisked out of his mouth; the rest of the body would fall limp, falling to the ground in a deathly silence.
The monster slowly rose to their feet, staring down at the dead in contempt. His crow head darted about, following the clump of eerie blue smoke that he’d forced out of the man’s body.
Raising his claws, he slashed at the air, shredding the remains of their soul to useless, fading pieces.
“I’ve never seen such a disgusting color before.”
Meanwhile, two other men watched in horror from a short distance.
The monster resembled a man, and yet its black, feathered figure suggested otherwise. He’d torn their friend’s soul out of their body and, scowling with beast-like eyes, ripped it apart.
“M…Monster of Mire…!”
The monster turned its ominous gaze towards the man who had spoken.
“Disappointing. Has my name already been forgotten?”
In the blink of an eye, the crow monster seemed to disappear from sight, only to reappear before the two men.
One of his feathered, claw-like hands gripped a man by his head. The other immediately turned, abandoning his captive friend without a second thought.
The monster’s menacing glare fell onto the victim he held.
“Now, then. Shall we examine your soul next?”
But before his feast could begin, a sharp voice interrupted the monster’s savoring.
“Let go of him!”
A silver arrow accompanied the sudden shouting as the bolt whizzed past the monster’s eye.
As soon as the monster turned to see where the sudden attack had come from, his captive used the distraction to kick at the monster’s frame, freeing himself from the grip to hurriedly flee from the scene.
“…”
As the runaway’s footsteps faded into the distant fog, only the monster and his newest assailant remained. And as the monster remained in place, the assailant’s footsteps grew louder and louder, their emerging silhouette becoming clearer by the second.
“…There. I found you.”
A silver-haired cat half appeared from the fog, holding a crossbow in hand. Her hunter attire and weapon clearly suggested that she wasn’t the Mire’s resident.
That being said, hunters were hardly a new sight to the monster.
Once he finished studying the newcomer, an insulting comment was all he had to offer.
“A puny runt. Interesting.”
“What did you say?!”
The crow-like figure swiftly ignored his hunter’s backlash. He wordlessly stepped forth, approaching her with eyes full of contempt and annoyance.
In response, she raised her weapon once more, aiming its head towards the approaching crow.
“D, don’t come any closer! I’ll shoot!”
“Go ahead.”
She did as told. As soon as she pulled at her crossbow’s trigger, another bolt zipped across the air to bury itself.
…Into a tree some distance away.
“What an astounding hunter you are. You might as well be shooting blind.”
“It was a warning shot!”
“This…”
The monster’s footsteps came to a halt. He raised an arm as a translucent crossbow took shape in his hand, and he soon pulled the weapon back, cocking a magicked bolt towards his target.
“…Is how you use a crossbow.”
As the arrow was released, the hunter erected a haphazard barrier to shield herself from the mana bolt flying at her.
As the two spells made contact, the bolt exploded in a burst of flames, sending the hunter sprawling back and coughing.
“Ugh…seriously? A monster that can use magic? Talk about unfair…I wish I could use spells like that.”
When she looked back up, the monster was beaming back an amused grin at her. Apparently, flattery worked here.
‘Wait...that means talking works here.’
The half abruptly cleared her throat, getting up to her feet to continue speaking.
“…You know, I know everyone calls you Monster of Mire, but I know who you really are.”
“Oh?”
“Xar…that’s your name, isn’t it? Former Akeian commander. People say he went missing after the empire’s collapse. Who would’ve thought he went back to being a wild monster?”
Xar mused at the hunter’s description of his past. Ever since his return to the Mire, she’d been the very first to recognize who he was.
“If you came here knowing who I was…you must have a plan in mind, yes? Failing that, you simply chose a glorious way to suicide.”
Despite the monster’s patronizing smirk, the hunter seemed to pay it no mind. She only rubbed her chin, seriously contemplating the question over.
“Hm…”
“?”
“Hmm…”
“…What.”
“Hmmm……”
Xar’s expression twisted into a frown as the hunter made incomprehensible noises. He raised his hand as masses of green fog swirled into his palm, forming a screaming mass of energy.
“If you’ve nothing to say, then-“
“Meh.”
Just as the monster was about to blast away his newest assailant, the half abruptly interrupted the cast with a single syllable.
The rest of the answer followed suit.
“You know what, Xar? I got nothing. I don’t want to die, I actually really want to live. But I don’t really have a plan in mind, either.”
The monster’s magic fizzled out. His eyes twitched in disbelief.
‘…Is she an idiot?’
Xar shook his head. Surely, a hunter couldn’t be this stupid.
“…If you wish to live, why show yourself here?”
This time, the hunter beamed back. She sighed in irony, shrugging back at the monster’s question.
“Why not? Whether you kill me or not, I die soon anyways. I may not look it, but I’m actually pretty sick. So I came here, thinking…hey, maybe I can try to do something nice before I die.”
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“And your definition of ‘something nice is attempting to kill me.”
“Pft. Who do you think I am, you? I stay as far as I can from using violence.”
The hunter completely withdrew her weapon before approaching Xar, stopping only a few steps away. The half crouched down to brush off the fallen leaves off the forest floor, seating herself on the revealed soil.
Xar remained standing in confusion as he watched the half’s strange choice of behavior.
Truth be told, his disdain for this supposed ‘hunter’ was growing worse by the minute.
“…And so you’d rather give up and sit?”
“What? No. Can’t you see I’m trying to have a talk with you? Here, have a seat.”
“I have no reason to participate in a ‘talk.’ Especially with a hunter.”
“Psh…don’t you ever get lonely? Living alone in a forest like this.”
“…No.”
“Hey, look at that. You just talked to me.”
“…”
A small laughter followed suit as Xar stared at the hunter in disbelief.
And still, she beckoned him over, beaming a wide smile at him.
“This is how you get along with others! Talking. Why don’t you give it a try? I’m Rien. Rien Meria.”
“…”
Instead of responding, Xar abruptly turned away, walking into the distance as he abandoned the lone hunter.
However, she remained sitting for a while longer, waving towards the black, feathered figure that was disappearing into the fog.
“Come back soon!”
✧ ✧ ✧
One day later, a peculiar smoke rose above the Mire’s fog, filling the forest with a warm scent of cooking.
When Xar appeared at the scene to discern its source, a familiar hunter was sitting on a small stone, stirring the innards of a metal pot that hung above a small campfire.
“…What the…”
“Huh? Oh hey, you’re here.”
As soon as she noted Xar’s appearance, Rien invitingly wove her hand, beckoning the monster over.
“Want some potato stew? It’s pretty good.”
The monster snorted in ill amusement.
“…I left you be as it seemed you were ill in the head…but now it seems you’re crossing the line.”
“Line? What the heck are you talking about? We’re in the middle of a forest. I can do whatever the heck I want.”
Small sparks of fire threateningly blitzed out of Xar’s hand. He began to stepscloser towards the hunter, his glaring eyes glowing in an eerie light.
“Then there shouldn’t be anything stopping me from killing you here either.”
“Meh, go ahead. I told you, I’m gonna be dead soon anyways.”
Even in her annoyed state, Rien proceeded to scoop out a portion of the pot’s boiling contents into a separate bowl, offering it towards her guest.
“Here, do whatever you want, but sit down and eat first.”
“…”
“This is how you get along with others.”
For an extremely brief moment, Xar considered accepting the food.
However, as soon as he processed the thought, the black figure grimaced in disgust at his own thoughts.
Following suit, he briskly turned away to leave the hunter yet again.
“…Come back soon!”
Once again, Rien watched the feathered figure disappearing into the forest’s fog. She retreated her offered bowl of stew, taking a quiet sip herself whilst she stared into the monster’s fading silhouette.
“Pfft…talk about being shy.”
✧ ✧ ✧
And the next day…
Fallen leaves crunched underfoot as Xar once again made his way to the hunter’s camp. The smoke of her campfire hadn’t gone out.
‘Is that woman still lounging around? What could she possibly be doing now…’
When Rien noticed the black figure emerging from the fog, she curtly wove her hand.
Much to Xar’s surprise, the hunter was comfortably laying in her hammock with a book in hand.
“Oh hey, welcome back.”
“…You must be the only person to ever lounge around in Mire with a book.”
“Pft, sure, and you’re so much better off. You literally do nothing all day, don’t you?”
“…”
“Hahaha, see? Lounging around with a book isn’t so bad in comparison.”
The half rolled out of her hammock, getting up on her feet. She quickly rummaged through the baggage beneath, producing another book to offer to her guest.
“Here, I have a book you could read too. I can even teach you!”
“Teach? What would you-“
“Alphabets!”
The monster looked down at the book being offered.
To whit, the title read: ‘Alphabets for Toddlers.’
Not that he could even read that. But he could at least tell who the book was for, what with all the letters and colors on the cover.
Xar looked up to meet Rien’s eyes. She was grinning as usual, which only annoyed him more.
“…Do you have a death wish?”
“What are you talking about? I told you on the first day, didn’t I? I want to live.”
“And yet you continue your mockery. Do you seriously expect me to read this?”
“I mean, I wasn’t sure if anyone taught you how to read. Figured you might need to learn the alphabet first…”
“…”
Truth be told, Xar didn’t actually know how to read. At all.
However…
The monster snatched the book from Rien’s grasp, tossing it into the campfire. The flames momentarily roared as the book was consumed, reducing it to cinders in a matter of seconds.
“I have no need for a child’s book.”
“Hey, you could’ve just said no! You didn’t have to throw it into the fire!”
“A fitting end.”
“Hmph…so, you do know how to read then?”
“…”
“Well? Do you?”
“…I do not need to know.”
Rien crossed her arms with puffed cheeks, clearly unsatisfied by the answer. She walked over to her baggage once more, rummaging through its contents as she shouted towards her finicky guest.
“Jeez, poor book. Here, come over! I’ll teach you how to read. You can pay your tutor fees later.”
“…”
And as per usual, Xar briskly turned away to leave the scene.
But this time, Rien quietly snickered to herself, watching the monster fade into the distance.
“Come back soon!”
✧ ✧ ✧
With another day came another visit from the Monster of Mire.
Although this time, Xar curiously scanned the surroundings as he approached Rien’s camp. The smoke from her campfire hadn’t been visible today.
And when he finally arrived, only a lump of smoked coal laid where the fire had been.
“…?”
One brief scan, and he could tell that the rest of the camp was still intact.
In the distance, he soon spotted the familiar hunter: dozing off on her hammock without a care in the world.
And to her immediate right was a growling beast, baring fangs that dripped with saliva.
‘Seriously?’
As soon as the growling beast pounced towards the sleeping hunter, Xar dashed into the camp in a burst of shadows, intercepting the attacking beast. With his own shadowed claws, he tore through the beast’s underbelly with ease.
Once the beast powerlessly fell back to the ground, Xar snorted at its untimely death, pulling out his claws to shake off the blood that coated it.
“…Tch.”
‘A pointless gesture. This shouldn’t have concerned me in the slightest-‘
The monster’s thoughts came to an abrupt end as his eyes fell on Rien. Her eyes were wide with surprise, staring at him in silence.
Slowly, Xar opened his mouth.
“…Were you not asleep?”
“I was. Until you came.”
“…”
“You’re a lot nicer than people say, huh?”
“…It was a coincidence.”
The monster briskly turned to leave as usual. However, this time Rien jumped off her hammock, pulling on the monster’s wrist to stop his departure.
“Wait, wait! You just saved me, I can’t just send you off like this.”
“…What now.”
Rien beamed in delight as she pointed towards the dead campfire. Two flat stones laid beside it, along with a pile of books between.
“Special deal, I’ll tutor you for free. My lessons are actually super expensive, you know?”
“…”
“I insist!”
The monster let out a quiet sigh as the excited half dragged him off towards her pile of books.
✧ ✧ ✧
And a few days after that…
‘…Why do I continue returning to this place.’
Xar began to question his life as he once again found himself walking back to Rien’s camp.
He rapidly shook his head as he tried to justify what he was doing.
‘No no, that’s not it. This is my territory to begin with, I should be free to roam. That hunter is the intruder. Yes, that…’
“Ugh…hf…”
The monster’s thoughts came to an abrupt stop as he noticed the familiar half sitting by the fire, groaning with an agonized expression. Her face was drenched with sweat, and one of her hands was painfully gripping at her heart.
“…? What-“
As the monster rushed to her side, Rien forced her eyes open to see Xar’s face.
In her hazy vision, Rien noticed a faint, inexplicable change in the assortment of Xar’s feathers: a slight change that a stranger may mistake for a simple ruffle.
The half slowly reached out her hand, caressing her fingers through the monster’s feathers to straighten them as they were before – and yet, the small oddity refused to fade.
Despite her pained expression, Rien still managed to let out a small laughter at the sight.
“Ah, haha…gosh. Are you worried?”
A heavy frown crossed the monster as he clenched his hands.
“No, I’m smiling. In delight.”
Rien only snickered at the monster’s reply. Every snicker felt like mounds of iron slamming into her chest, but it was still worth it.
“…Sorry, I don’t think I can do much today. I-“
“Be quiet.”
The monster hovered his hand over the hunter’s throbbing heart. A soft green light began to glow in between them.
As Xar’s spell took effect, Rien could feel the pain in her chest gradually melting way; eventually, she couldn’t feel a thing anymore.
After briefly examining her state, Rien turning to Xar with a surprised, delighted look.
“Woah…how did you do that? Magic can’t cure diseases.”
“…It’s only a pain remedy.”
“Ohh…that’s still pretty amazing though!”
Hearing Rien’s praise, Xar cleared his throat in embarrassment – though that certainly didn’t stop the hunter from teasing him further.
“Maybe if you were this nice all the time, you’d have some frien-“
Rien’s sentence was cut short as the monster physically sealed her lips, gripping her blabbering mouth with two fingers.
“Shut your mouth.”
“…Aay a oon wii a ee.” (Says the one with a beak.)
“…”
After another sigh, Xar let go of the half, turning to leave as usual. Rien painfully rubbed her lips – which now hurt more than her chest – but she still had to say her usual piece.
“Come back soon!”
“…”
Xar ignored the remark and continued to walk aimlessly. It was nothing new for him to roam the foggy forest like this.
But strangely, it felt different that day. And it didn’t take that long for him to realize it.
‘…Something’s wrong. Was there another spell in place?’
The monster clenched at his own chest. He didn’t even have a beating heart, but it felt strangely heavy.
‘I left of my own volition. What is this inclination to return?’
He glanced around. It was the same foggy forest as usual; nothing was out of the ordinary. Or so it should’ve been.
‘Strange. There shouldn’t be anything that could threaten me in this forest…’
And yet, it felt as if he was standing before a towering enemy.
After a brief pause, Xar turned to face the path he’d come from. He couldn’t see much beyond the fog, but he hadn’t come very far still.
And in the distance was the familiar hunter, no longer suffering from the pain of her disease.
However, her physical state remained the same – which wasn’t exactly an ideal state, from what he’d seen earlier.
“…Rien, was it.”
Soon, Xar completely turned around, pacing back to the camp. He had to, lest he never learn what this heaviness inside was.
But when he arrived, Rien’s eyes were closed, and the half was peacefully laying back against her baggage on the floor.
Not a sound came out of her. Her breathing was so scarce, she may as well have been completely silence.
‘She’s not…?’
The monster immediately gripped Rien’s shoulders, trying to shake her awake.
“Hey, half!...Rien!”
“…Ehh? Why?”
Rien lazily rubbed her eyes as she was shaken back awake.
“…”
‘Oh. She wasn’t dead.’
Xar awkwardly stared at the half. He immediately let go of her shoulders, looking away in shame.
…Which only confused the half further.
“What’s wrong? What’d you wake me up for?”
When the monster continued his silence, a playful grin spread across the hunter’s face as she rose to her feet.
She leaned towards the feathered figure, noting the same ruffle in his feathers reappearing once again.
“Wait…did you come back because you were worried? Wow, that’s pretty touching.”
“…I only returned to ask you a question.”
“A question? What question?”
“Did you place a spell on me?”
“…Eh? What?”
“I feel at unease. It feels as if a predator is looming over my back.”
“Oh, really now?”
After an amused snort, Rien leaned forward, mischievous eyes staring into the monster’s.
“Do you feel empty and uneasy all the time? Like you wanna escape or go somewhere else or run back here?”
“So it WAS your spell-“
“Look at that, I was right on day one. You are lonely.”
“…What?”
“You’re lonely.”
Rien tapped the monster on his shoulders twice. She then slowly rose to her feet, walking over to their usual stone seats by the fire.
After taking a seat herself, the half beckoned her student over – and he’d reluctantly follow, taking a seat at her side and lighting the flame once more.
Rien wore a reassuring grin as she continued.
“I mean, of course you’re lonely. How could you not be? You’re a person living alone in the middle of nowhere.”
“…I am not a ‘person.’ I am a monster borne of this forest’s mana.”
“Ehh…hm…”
“…”
“Hmm…”
“…What?”
“Hmmm……”
“What??”
After a serious contemplation, Rien came to her own conclusion – which was soon spoken out loud.
“Nope. You’re just another typical person to me.”
“…Have you gone mad?”
“Listen, I mean…you’re pretty much just a person who looks a bit weird. Like…a half, but with a lot more crow than person? If you went around saying you’re a half, people would believe you.”
Rien’s ears twitched as she circled around to stand before Xar, poking at the monster’s chest.
“You eat, you read, and you even get lonely. If that’s not a person, what is?”
“…I’m not…”
Xar’s voice soon trailed off as he realized what he was saying.
Just a few days ago, he could refute all that was being said: he didn’t eat, he didn’t read, and he certainly wasn’t lonely.
But now, he could no longer claim as so.
When Xar trailed off without any firm denial, Rien threw her head back in a short laughter.
“Must be nice, being healthy and all. Skilled with magic, too. I wouldn’t live like that if I were you.”
“…What are you trying to say.”
“Oh, nothing, it’s just…you know, instead of sulking alone in the middle of nowhere all the time, maybe it’d be better if you lived with other people.”
“…I am an enemy to mankind. I’ve killed in thousands under Akeia’s name.”
“Oh?”
Rien raised a brow, as if intrigued by the last remark. What should’ve been an easy death threat was apparently coming across as something else entirely to her.
“You sound like you regret it. Was it against your will?”
“…”
Xar neither confirmed nor denied the hunter’s question.
But now, one good look at his face was all the answer Rien needed.
“You know what’s the best remedy to regret?”
“…What?”
“Do something nice for others.”
Despite Xar’s incredulous stare, Rien’s eyes remained firm. She clearly wasn’t joking.
“Besides, it sounds like you do want to be around people. You just can’t because you’re scared people won’t like you.”
“That’s…not…”
“Oh, please. Look me in the eye and tell me I’m wrong.”
“…”
“See? You can’t. I bet that’s why you don’t even kill anyone unless they try to kill you first.”
“…And how would you know something like that?”
After a brief shrug, Rien pointed to herself.
“Look at me. I’m still alive. But those thugs that tried to kill you? Dead.”
“…”
Xar maintained silence. He had absolutely no counter to that.
The hunter shrugged back again, pressing her point further.
“C’mon, it might not be that bad. Go somewhere south, and I doubt people will recognize you. Change your name, wear some clothes, and…maybe go be a teacher like I always wanted to. Sounds pretty nice, doesn’t it?”
Xar scoffed at the idea. He couldn’t even begin picturing himself fitting that description.
“…I’ve just barely learned how to read. Teaching is out of the question.”
“Oh? So you would if you could?”
“…”
Rien only laughed at Xar’s lack of answer. Unlike him, she could totally imagine him standing in front of a class.
“Since you’re so good with magic, maybe you can become a magic teacher. Or wait…since you’ve lived for a really long time, maybe you’ll be better off teaching history. That sounds fun.”
“Your death must be nigh. Every man I’ve met tended to spit nonsense before their demise.”
“Hehe. Maybe.”
A brief silence settled in as Xar made his way over to the fire, sitting on the stone next to the half.
Rien threw her head back as her friend took a seat. The fog was slowly beginning to fade away as night settled in.
“…You know, I never actually wanted to become a hunter.”
“…?”
“Ever since I was little, I really liked teaching other people. Back then, I wanted to become a teacher.”
“…And why didn’t you? You weren’t too bad at it.”
“Who wants a dying person to be their teacher?”
“…”
Rien shifted her gaze back towards the black figure beside her. She nodded her head, approving of the picture she’d painted in her mind.
“So you go do it. And tell me what it’s like later.”
“You’d be long dead by then.”
“Still! You never know what might happen.”
“No such day will come. Nothing lies beyond death.”
“It’s rude to talk back to your teacher.”
“…”
“And that’s how you make your students zip their mouth.”
The disbelief in Xar’s eyes never failed to make the half giggle. He wasn’t so menacing when making that expression.
“Hehe…just you wait. When we meet again, it’ll be your turn to teach me what you learned in life.”
“…”
“Be nice to me, okay?”
Again, Xar didn’t bother to answer the half.
In her approaching death, Rien would die and fade away like any other. Their bond was insignificant and temporary, unworthy of being noted or remembered.
‘…Surely it’s all meaningless.’
Surely, no day will come when he’d see such a pure soul again.
✧ ✧ ✧
Anything can be a manaspawn. Anyone could be a manaspawn.
Then, by definition, a manaspawn remains unbound by the laws of race and biology. Perhaps their newest name, ‘monster,’ roots from our inability to understand their existence.
But to lack understanding should not mean to fear. The horrors of the unknown only remain as horrors until one braves the darkness to see their form.
Though, admittedly…
To label them an abomination is far simpler than braving their depths.