Everybody Loves Large Chests

Science!!! 8

*Ring-ring*

It would appear that Nagnamor could only maintain his physical form for about 2 minutes with the near 1000 MP the Mimic supplied during the possession ritual. Once that was up, he would crumble into dust and disappear.

*Ring-ring*

That seemed to be the nature of how this particular ritual worked - the demon called forth from the Beyond would have tremendous power, but his body would deteriorate rapidly after a short while. The other two Offering-type rituals the Mimic knew about would probably be the same.

*Ring-ring*

Still, even if it was temporary, a high-ranking demons servitude was simply a means to an end. Performing that particular ritual did wonders for its Demonology proficiency and it had plenty of troll blood leftover, so it repeated the summoning 3 more times until now.

*Ring-ring*

Xera seemed to want to complain vehemently about it each time and even Kora was trying to get their master to stop performing it for some reason. As for Nagnamor, he was understandably the most pissed off of all and complained the loudest, both figuratively and literally. However, all of them were ignored completely as the stubborn box did whatever it wanted.

*Ring-ring*

But the one thing that could not be ignored was that constant ringing noise inside the Mimics mind. It had been going on for the last hour or so, pretty much ever since the first time Nagnamors physical body turned to dust. The familiars, Nagnamor included, could be ordered to shut up easily enough, but that obviously wasnt going to work here.

*Ring-ring*

This was different from a simple sound. It was as if something was poking at the monsters brain, trying to get its attention.

*Ring-ring*

Well, it didnt seem like it would just go away on its own and even a creature of near-infinite patience could only take so much damned ringing. So it made the inevitable decision to answer it.

*Ring-ring*

*Click*

Yes?

Oh finally! came the gruff, raspy voice from the Beyond. Hey buddy. Its Carl from Demons R Us.

This was the first time Demons R Us had contacted the Mimic directly. Admittedly, this was only the third time the Mimic had spoken to them, but that was besides the point.

Hi Carl.

So listen, Im calling about the whole Overlord Nagnamor thing. Weve been getting some troubling complaints and I need to get your side of the story. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?

Im busy.

I wont stop ringing until you answer me, by the way.

... Alright, Im listening.

How exactly did you summon the Overlord into the physical realm?

I did the ritual.

Which one?

With the squiggles and the chanting and the stabbing.

Youre going to have to be more specific.

Pretty much all demonic ritual involved at least one of those things. A lot of the time it was all three at once.

It was the offering thingie.

So it was the Offering to Nagnamor after all, huh?

Yes, that.

*Taktaktak takataktakatak*

And how did you fulfill the pure maiden stabbed in the heart part of the ceremony? asked Carl.

I told Snack to do it.

Im sorry, Snack?

Yes.

Whos that?

My familiar.

Um, which one?

The one with the hair and the legs.

Haah. The blue or red one?

Blue.

*Tak tak tatatak takatak*

Okay and how do you suppose a succubus qualifies as a pure maiden?

Shes a female that wasnt poisoned or diseased. She was also clean. Before the blood, at least.

Oh wow Okay, its starting to make sense now.

The thing about magic was that it relied heavily on the mind. Spells had a very precise formula to them, so different people would get very similar results when casting the same one. Rituals and such, however, were more freeform and could be easily influenced by ones perception and preconceptions. In other words, if the Mimic who didnt know any better believed with all its might that Xera was pure, then she would be pure. At least for the sake of completing the ritual.

Leave it to those fucking idiots to leave in a loophole like that, mumbled Carl under his breath.

Hm?

Ah, nevermind that. What about the heart part?

Made Snack grow one.

*Taktak tak ta-*

Huh? But succubi shouldnt be able to change their insides to that degree!

Yeah. Had to show her how to make one from her skin. Because shes stupid.

Wai-wai-wait, you ordered your familiar to grow a heart on the outside of her body?

Yes.

Holy shit! I honestly have to say Im impressed! I never wouldve even thought of that!

*Taktak tak tak tatatatak tak*

Okay, continued Carl, and what was your purpose in summoning Nagnamor in the first place?

I wanted Skill proficiency for Demonology.

What, just that?

Yes.

No kingdoms you wanted toppled or ancient beings of terrible power to suppress?

Nope.

... Hold please.

*Boop*

An odd sound started playing inside the Mimics head. It wasnt like anything else the monster had ever heard before, but it was actually pretty pleasant. Ah, this must be that music thing it vaguely knew about! Who knew sound could be so tasty?! It sat there enjoying the tune for about 5 minutes before Carl came back on the line.

*Boop*

I apologize for that. Uhm, can you send me your Status, please?

Okay, sending.

Ah, I see you got a na- Boxxy T. Morningwood?! Pft! Hold please! Kuhaha-

*Boop*

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Well, this was unlike Carl. Usually the demon was pretty quick and to the point about business. Its not like Boxxy had anywhere to go, though. It was currently gathering up mana for the next ritual. And the music was pretty tasty anyway.

*Boop*

Fuuuu, again, sorry about that mister Morningw- *Cough* Morningwood.

Just Boxxys fine.

The Mimic didnt particularly mind being called mister Morningwood, but Carl seemed unable to say it with a straight face for some reason. If he wasnt going to say the name properly, then he shouldnt be saying it all.

Right then. See here Boxxy, Im gonna be straight with you. You cant summon Overlord Nagnamor using your demon as collateral anymore.

Why not?

It violates part of the summoning contract. The one where you promise to safeguard your familiars immortal soul against harm.

Come to think of it, Xera was talking about her ego being consumed by Nagnamor or something like that. The Mimic didnt quite see how that was an issue, so it just kept doing what it wanted like usual.

I know you probably dont understand, added Carl, so Ill clarify. Cramming two demons into the same physical vessel like that? Worst case scenario both of them could get fragmented or malformed. That wasnt what you were trying to do, right?

No.

Good, cuz thatd be bad.

How bad?

Wed have to kill you.

Thats bad.

Indeed.

I understand. Ill stop using Snack to summon Punchy.

Punchy?

Yeah. The big one with the head and the arms. He punches himself real good, said Boxxy with a hint of admiration.

Uh-huh. So listen, theres one more thing I need to talk to you about. I dont know what you made the Overlord do over there and I have no intention of prying, but hes threatening to quit being an officer in the Demon Kings army if he so much as smells you again. We want to avoid that, so were prepared to offer you a deal.

A deal?

Thats right. You have to agree that you never perform the Offering to Nagnamor ever again, regardless of who or what your sacrifice is. In return, well provide you with a one time boost of Demonology proficiency up to Level 5.

Okay. I accept.

Alright. Hold please.

Of course it agreed. Getting Demonology Levels was the whole reason Boxxy was doing this whole thing in the first place, so getting what it wanted with less work was not a bad thing. Besides, it took a whole lot of time and preparation to summon Punchy and it only lasted a few minutes. Even if the performance was excellent, his mileage was pretty bad.

There all set. Ive added our agreement to your summoning contract. You should be getting your compensation shortly.

I got it.

Good, thats great. Fuuu. Hey listen, thanks for agreeing to that. I gotta say, its so much easier working with you than my regular clients.

Really?

Yeah. Youre uncomplicated and straightforward. Its a breath of fresh air compared to those edgy idiots I have to work with usually. Always with the stupid comments like You shall not pass! and You have no power here! Its like those retards didnt even properly read the summoning contract!

Carl spent a few more minutes complaining about other Warlocks. Boxxy didnt particularly mind since it was fairly interesting listening to him.

What Im trying to say is, its honestly a breath of fresh air working with someone like you. This whole thing wouldve been a laugh if it wasnt for the actual Demon King breathing down my neck.  Anyway, sorry for that little rant, Ive been under a lot of pressure lately.

Its alright.

Fuuuu. So, just so were clear - do not ever use that ritual again. Okay?

Okay.

And dont use your familiars as sacrifices ever again, either! Thats the important thing here! We wouldnt give a flying fuck if your rectangular ass died out there, but if a demon bites the big one because of your antics then even killing you 100,000 times wouldnt be enough payback! Understood?!

It was important to keep in mind that the summoning contract was indeed a partnership and not slavery. Generally what happens to a demons physical form didnt matter to an immortal being in the grand scheme of things, but endangering the integrity of their soul was another story. It was the one thing that must never, under any circumstances, be tampered with. If that clause was violated then the Warlock getting killed would just be the beginning of his punishment. What followed next would be Well, lets just say oblivion would be a much more preferable option.

Youre lucky we caught this thing early! added Carl. Another ten or so more rituals and the soul of Xerababadubuth Lokrelaila would have suffered irreversible damage!

... Carl, is my contract in danger?

Nah, youre fine. Its not like you were doing it on purpose. Besides, you cooperated readily and both of your familiars testified as to your, uh, character. Therefore, the higher ups have agreed to let you off with just a stern warning.

It would seem that all things said and done, Demons R Us were going to take Boxxys actions as a simple misunderstanding rather than malicious intent.

I see. Thanks, Carl.

Sure, just try and avoid pissing off my boss any more, yeah? Otherwise he might seriously terminate it.

How do I do that?

Ah, thats actually pretty easy. You just keep doing what you do, only without the two things we talked about just now. Like, for real, dont. And dont take so long to answer if were the ones calling you, okay?

Okay.

Good, good. Haaah. Kay, bye!

*Click*

Well, that conversation was educational. Boxxy nearly stepped on quite the landmine there due to its own ignorance, but it would seem things have more or less worked out.

Alright Snack, you can get down from there. Arms, untie her.

Oh thank fuck! said Xera. I really dont know how much longer I could take sharing a body with that insufferable asshole!

Hey come on, complained Kora while she untied the succubus from the stake. Uncle Naggy isnt that bad.

Yes he is! The whole reason he wanted a pure maiden in the first place is because- Wait, uncle? Hes your kin?!

Yeah. Hes eldest of my dads 49 siblings. I only met him once or twice though.

Wow, that kind of makes things a lot worse.

What do you mean?

The first thought he had when he saw you was how hed like to, and Im quoting his head here, split that fine ass on his dick.

Oh! Thats pretty high praise coming from an Archfiend!

It is?

Of course!

...

Oy! Dont give me that disgusted look! Its a fiend thing, okay?!

Were leaving now, said Boxxy, putting an end to their little argument. There are things I need to get.

Even if they had leftover troll blood, that one ritual was all the Mimic was really equipped to do. Theyd have to find components, not to mention sacrifices, to enact some of the other rituals. Of particular interest was a ceremony that was meant to call forth Unholy Wealth, whatever that was. However, theyd need quite a few things to pull that one off. Not to mention it still lacked knowledge about the Warlock Job in general.

It was time to see about taking up residence inside a city.