Father, Mother Escaped Again

Xia Yuqing refers to Feng Tingye as zonggong-daren (总攻大人), which basically translates into “Super Seme Lord.” lol

And Feng Tingye calls her aifei (爱妃), which means “beloved consort.”

"Er..." Xia Yuqing turned her head robotically. She coughed twice and said sincerely, "I didn’t see anything, really."

Is he embarrassed to be caught in a riding position? Don’t worry, I’m on your side; I won’t breathe a word to anyone!

Feng Tingye felt something was off with Xia Yuqing’s serene expression, but he couldn’t pin it down. "You are the princess of Xia? What’s your name?"

"X-Xia Yuqing." Seme-sama, why are getting closer? My body isn’t ready for this!

"Xia Yuqing, a good name. Smooth skin, big eyes. The nose is straight, and the lips are thin. Your looks are passable..." Feng Tingye glanced regretfully at her chest. "But what a pity."

"..." Xia Yuqing was petrified. That’s dirty! No matter how perfect you are, that’s just too cruel!

Not waiting for her to recover, Feng Tingye leaned into her ear and dropped another bomb, reducing her to rubble.

He said, "You know what’ll happen tonight, right?"

The most tragic thing on earth isn’t dying young but rather marrying a gay emperor. And he’s also a gay emperor who’s laid countless ukes! But the cruelest thing on earth isn’t marrying a gay emperor, but rather that an emperor who is clearly gay is about to lay a woman! And unfortunately, this woman is me!

"Waitwaitwait." Xia Yuqing threw out her arms to stop Feng Tingye’s advance. Her facial muscles stiffened. "You’re kidding, Your Majesty."

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"Kidding? How could We be kidding with you?"

"Your Majesty, I’m... Um, I am female." Xia Yuqing awkwardly chuckled twice. She hugged her chest defensively.

Feng Tingye laughed despite himself, "Your gender is obvious even if your chest is not."

"Even so, you still wish to consummate with me?"

"Naturally." Feng Tingye raised an eyebrow, his eyes thoughtful. Unlike others, she didn’t jump at the chance to get into his bed. Is she was playing coy?

Xia Yuqing’s eyebrows spazzed. Is he bisexual?!

"While I’m sure for Your Majesty, seven consecutive rounds aren’t a problem, you’ve already done it once with that beauty. Moderation is essential to preserve virility for future conquests! For the sake of Your Majesty’s health, I cannot accept your generosity!" Please, use your uke instead of me!

"’Seven consecutive rounds?’ ’Beauty?’ ’Moderation?’ ’Conquests?’" Feng Tingye finally understood her insinuation. "Are you talking about the Grand Tutor?"

"So that was the Grand Tutor!" Xia Yuqing realized.

Xia Yuqing’s words confirmed Feng Tingye’s suspicions. "You do realize the Grand Tutor is male."

"Of course I do! Aren’t you two, uh, lovers?"

"..." Feng Tingye scowled. Lovers! She mistook them for lovers?

"Ah—" Xia Yuqing yelped as she was pushed down by Feng Tingye, who looked mad enough to ’eat’ her. Her facial muscles locked again.

Was it something she said? He looked pissed enough to not care about what he chose to ’eat’! It must be because she’d ferreted out his affairs with the beautiful Grand Tutor.

"I was wrong, Your Majesty, I was wrong! I shouldn’t haven’t mentioned your affair. I swear, I swear I won’t tell anyone else, so please have mercy!"

Xia Yuqing was ready to concede, but Feng Tingye retorted brusquely, "You can see for yourself tonight!"

Xia Yuqing demurred, "Your Majesty, I-I’m not feeling well! I can’t do it tonight!"

"Why?"

"Cough, well, my relatives are visiting. They just don’t have the guts to meet you..."

"’Your relatives are visiting?’ What kind of reason is that? They all live in the State of Xia; how could they have snuck into my palace?"

Xia Yuqing had tears in her eyes. I was wrong sir, I shouldn’t have underestimated your IQ."Cough, I meant to say that since I have menstrual cramps from my period, so I can’t do it tonight."

Feng Tingye raised an eyebrow, "Oh? But according to the medical records from Household Affairs, today should be fine."

She’d forgotten about the records. Xia Yuqing gritted her teeth, her eyes whirling. She squeezed her embroidered handkerchief and went for broke, "Delays aren’t uncommon because of my sickly body. Look, this is proof."

Feng Tingye glanced at the bloodstained handkerchief in her hands. The corners of his mouth rose into a gentle smile. A smile like this could placate the heavens, but Xia Yuqing felt a chill go down her spine and goosebumps all over.

"Darling, if I recall correctly, that bloodstain was from your earlier...nosebleed."

Xia Yuqing smiled tightly. She forced a laugh, "Cough, the dizziness caused by blood loss must have affected my memory. Since I’m feeling so anemic, Your Majesty, how about we postpone this..."

"Don’t fret, my dear. You can take it easy and I’ll do all the work."

Xia Yuqing’s tears overflowed. It was wrong of me to interrupt you sir. But this sort of indiscriminate appetite will hurt your pretty little uke.

Your seme is about to cheat on you, so quickly come back and save me!

Naturally, Yan Ran couldn’t hear her pleas right now. So as Feng Tingye reached for her waist...

BAM—! A loud noise resounded through Sweet Spring Palace in the middle of the night, frightening the maids and eunuchs outside. They flooded in and were petrified on the spot.

Xia Yuqing looked up innocently, her foot still hanging in the air. A certain villain rolled in agony on the floor.

I swear to God...it really was accidental!