Father, Mother Escaped Again

King Xiang and the goddess of Wushan is a

Emperors had a lot of women in their harem, and they were expected to sleep with all, or at least most of them. A trick used to decide whom to bonk that night involves randomly selecting wooden slips with the names of the harem. Sort of like call girls.

Liu Yixiang had swaggered into the palace, but now she drifted out downtrodden and shell-shocked, mumbling endlessly, "How can this be... How can this be..."

The underlings who’d come with her left the palace with her crestfallenly. They were terrified to stay at the site where a government official’s daughter had cracked and slit someone’s throat.

As soon as Liu Yixiang stepped out of Sweet Spring Palace, Cui’er and co poured inside. They could finally release the breath they’d been holding when they confirmed that Xia Yuqing was unharmed.

"Milady, what did you say to Miss Liu? When she was leaving, her eyes looked so dead, like she received a great shock!" Lu Rui scurried to Xia Yuqing’s side to ask.

Xia Yuqing thought about it. "Buddha says silence is golden,” she said, assuming an air of profundity.

Like I could confess to starting a rumor that Seme-sama can’t get it up, then spilling the secret of his orientation to and shattering the heart of the lovelorn lady Liu to pieces. Like when King Xiang of Chu dreamed of the goddess of Wushan but she wasn’t in the mood; You simply can’t fit a square peg in a round hole.

Welp, live and learn. The women in yaoi were all cannon fodder anyways, so she was simply strangling the baby in the cradle. I’m sure the god of transmigration won’t mind, muahahaha!

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Lu Rui and co couldn’t look Xia Yuqing in the eye with that creepy smile she wore. Chills ran down their spine. "Milady..."

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" Xia Yuqing finally noticed their odd stares. She rubbed her face. Was I being too complacent and my identity exposed?

"Milady smiled really weirdly just now. You never used to smile like this before. No, you never used to smile at all." Lu Rui had a frank personality, so she replied right away.

"I’ve never smiled before?" Xia Yuqing furrowed her brows. No wonder her face had felt like an ancient artifact after she transmigrated! Thank god there was hope for a cure for her poker face!

"Never. Back then, milady was like a lifeless doll. I like the milady right now much better."

That’s because the personality inside has changed! Xia Yuqing forced a laugh, "Alright. Since I’m done freshening up, we should hurry up and leave this troublesome place before more trouble comes to find us."

The maids were reminded by her words that they had overstayed their welcome and rushed to pack up, then escorted Xia Yuqing back to her own palace.

Xia Yuqing returned delightedly leading the whole flock. She completely missed the conflicted gaze of a certain maid behind her.

Xia Yuqing only thought that her words had nipped in the bud the cannon fodder girl obstructing justice. She’d totally underestimate the speed of the rumor windmill.

Liu Yixiang’s servant girls figured out why their mistress was despondent as soon as Liu Yixiang stepped foot out of Sweet Spring Palace. Before long, all the maids in the palace knew the details of Xia Yuqing’s little talk with Liu Yixiang. It soon spread and by noon, the whole palace was buzzing about their emperor’s private affairs until it ultimately reached the ears of the very person.

"Hahaha, I’m dying of here. Tingye, you’ve picked up a real nut. The second day of marriage and she’s already spreading rumors that you couldn’t perform! Does she love you or does she hate you? I can’t even—Ruofeng, help me, my stomach hurts." In the imperial study, Yan Ran hugged his stomach as he guffawed without regard for his image. He might have already fell if it weren’t for Leng Ruofeng’s support.

Even the Siberian, inflexible prime minister had cracked a grin and the corners of his lips risen 0.1 radians.

Feng Tingye gazed at his "loyal friends". His mouth twitched and the vein on his temple throbbed at record tempo.

Very well. So this was the State of Xia’s plot, to marry their princess into the State of Ye so that she could spread libel that the emperor was gay and impotent, assassinating his character and thus winning without a fight!

"I say, Tingye, did you really not touch the girl yesterday?" Yan Rang gleefully mocked Feng TIngye.

Feng Tingye didn’t say a word, but Yan Ran took it as tacit assent. "Tsk tsk tsk. No wonder kitten’s denouncing you. Say, it can’t be that you really can’t perform?"

Feng Tingye laughed with rage. He stared at Yan Ran’s infuriating grin and pasted on a smile, "I didn’t touch her, but that was because she had me pinned as a homosexual from the get go, along with you, my partner."

"Pff—" Leng Ruofeng’s sip of Longjing tea sprayed across the carpet. He wiped his mouth calmly, "Please, continue."

Yan Ran’s smile cramped. His peach blossom eyes narrowed dangerously, "Seems like your kitten needs to be taught a lesson. Gossiping can be deadly."

Feng Tingye rolled his eyes. You don’t say?

"Tingye, are you sure you want to keep this girl? I’ve investigated her before, and she’s only born from a palace maid. She doesn’t have a whit of clout in the State of Xia. Why would you keep her?" Yan Ran watched Feng Tingye intriguedly. In their long acquaintance, he had never seen him express interest in anything. What qualities did that kitten have to interest him?

"Why?" Feng Tingye glanced up, his charming and treacherous gaze scheming, "Of course it’s to warm my bed!"

"..."

Feng Tingye was totally unaware of his out of countenance words. A certain someone’s sleeping face was abruptly brought to mind. He’d fallen asleep holding her, and slept deeply to boot.

Ever since the assassination attempt in his sleep back then, he had been unable to share his bed with anyone. If somebody came within three meters of his bed, he would immediately awaken. Because of this, his harem remained empty till today and hadn’t retained any concubines. Yet he’d slept a full night with a girl he only just met. He had to keep her.

Yan Ran and Leng Ruofeng glanced at the pensive Feng Tingye and then at each other with a little astonishment.

Before they could question him, Feng Tingye had stood up. "I’ll leave everything up to you two. Root out every rat in the palace, and don’t spare a single one."

The two men were startled, but rose to their feet. "Yes."

Feng Tingye was out the door before they finished.

"Tingye, where are you going without us?"

"To teach a kitty a lesson."

"..."

Xia Yuqing had just finished dinner. She rubbed her belly and hummed a tune, content with life. Suddenly, a shadowed figure accosted her.

Xia Yuqing was alarmed. She squinted, trying to make out the identity of the figure. Her chin dropped to the floor.

"Well? Are you speechless with joy, my dear?" Feng Tingye grinned like Brother Wolf.

Xia Yuqing’s mouth shriveled. She looked at him bitterly. "Your Majesty has three thousand beauties in his harem. Why have you selected my card again?" she asked aggrievedly.

Xia Yuqing’s expression amused Feng Tingye. He raised his eyebrows and laughed. "My darling, those three thousand cards all have your name on them."

Xia Yuqing’s face fell. Placing three thousand people’s worth of affection on one person was too motherfucking cruel!

"The imperial physician said yesterday that Your Majesty needs to take it easy. No sex." Xia Yuqing protested, taking a step a back.

Feng Tingye laughed and made his play: "Thank you darling, but we feel much better today and promise to make up for last night. We won’t disappoint you, and will definitely riseup to the task of seven. Consecutive. Rounds!

"..."