Fight the Landlord, Fall in Love

Chapter 8 - Rotten Tomato Team

According to Xie Zhuo’s plans, they were supposed to hike in the morning, have a farm-fresh meal at noon, barbecue in the evening, then spend a beautiful night in nature far away from the hustle and bustle of the outside world. They would watch the sunrise the second day, then each head back to their own homes to continue working overtime and pulling all-nighters until they turned bald.

The concept was wonderful, but reality was cruel. The owner of the farm resort made lunch for them and everyone ate with satisfaction. However, the owner was not there at night and everyone tried cooking on their own. Immediately, numerous situations popped up: they didn’t know how to start the fire, didn’t know how to chop vegetables, forgot to grease the grill, didn’t know if the meat was cooked, a burnt batch...

The third time white smoke drifted over from Tang Kai’s side, causing everyone to tear up, an investment manager named Xiang Bo finally couldn’t resist asking, “Professor Tang, I remember you’re a biologist. Isn’t this the same as an experiment? Why is it always burning on your side?”

Kitchen killer Professor Tang stared at the nuclear reactor-like lump of scorched blackness, pursed his lips, and replied calmly, “There’s no relation. Although I study living things, I haven’t learned how to cook them.”

A low laugh came from behind.

Sun Zinan happened to hear this brilliant remark as he came over to grab the barbecue sauce. He was so amused he couldn’t help but laugh, and took his phone out to take a picture of the grill. He then draped an arm over Tang Kai’s shoulder and led him away. “Don’t ruin it anymore, come with me.”

As Tang Kai was pulled to the other grill in confusion, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Sun Zinan had sent the picture to him over WeChat. As he rolled his sleeves up, he said, “If you post this to your moments and get fifty likes, I’ll grill meat for you.”

Xie Zhuo laughed so hard he began crowing like a rooster. Tang Kai wasn’t exactly angry, but he stared at Sun Zinan for a very long time before he finally gave up. “Isn’t fifty a bit too much?”

“Bargaining?” Sun Zinan smirked. “Thirty is fine. But thirty likes is only enough for vegetables, do what you will.”

He turned over the beef and chicken wings on the grill. A delicious scent slowly drifted away into the night breeze. The man who was seriously grilling was so handsome that the heavens were moved, and Professor Tang’s spine immediately became weak.

What was the use of having moral integrity? The essence of humanity was getting slapped in the face.

Half a minute later, a new WeChat moments appeared on numerous people’s screens.

[The Picture’s Secret Will Be Revealed After 50 Likes (Picture)]

Tang Kai was pretty popular, and within ten minutes, he had received fifty likes from his friends circle and over 20 comments.

‘Handsome brother, what’s this? New experiment materials?’

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‘Fieldwork [like emoji]’

‘Xiao Tang’s cooking skills still need practice. [smile emoji]’

...

‘Boss! If you’ve been kidnapped blink once! [scared.jpg]’ (this was his PhD student)

After Tang Kai gave his collection of likes for Sun Zinan to inspect, he held his phone and began earnestly replying to the comments. ‘Tips from a biologist: burnt food contains carcinogens. Don’t eat it, because it’s not edible [smile emoji]’

Although Professor Tang’s high-class, cold image collapsed overnight, he had solved a difficult problem for Sun Zinan. They successfully kicked Xie Zhuo out of his seat and Tang Kai became a little tail following Sun Zinan everywhere. He was fed a lot and received the first bite of every newly grilled batch.

Xie Zhuo wrung at his handkerchief in rage, but His Majesty Sun Zinan only had eyes for the beautiful fox spirit and he was completely abandoned. He could only turn to someone else for attention.

Although Tang Kai looked cold and unapproachable, he was actually very easy to get along with. Sun Zinan was surprised to see him so easily conquered by a meal of mediocre barbecue.

“Do you usually eat at your company cafeteria?” He asked Tang Kai. “Do you not know how to cook? Don’t you have a housekeeper at home?”

“Too much trouble. I usually don’t have the time to go home and eat.” Tang Kai took the offered slice of roasted mushroom. “The cafeteria and takeout are enough.”

His life was very simple. If he was not running experiments then he was teaching class. Home was just a place to sleep. Either way, he was by himself. Why did the place he lived at matter?

Sun Zinan let out a breath and didn’t say anything.

Around nightfall, as the new moon was beginning to appear, Sun Zinan finally finished grilling the large pile of food and had time to sit down and eat. He had experienced a life today that was not meant for humans. He had originally thought he was going to comfortably view scenery and have all three meals hand-fed to him. Who knew he would be tricked by Xie Zhuo into hiking in the morning, disturbed so much he couldn’t take a nap in the afternoon, and had to bear the smoke and fire at night to help everyone grill meat.

This time Tang Kai had been fed into obedience, and handed him a can of beer and a large plate of steaming barbecued meat. The arrangement of the plate was definitely done by someone with OCD—the meat and vegetables were separated. The pork, beef, lamb, and chicken were sorted by type, and the piles were placed in order of size, forming a small pyramid of food.

“You’ve worked hard,” he said.

“This is too much, I can’t eat it all.” Sun Zinan smiled as he toasted him with the can of beer. “How does it taste, did you enjoy it?”

Tang Kai, “En. Thanks.”

“As long as you’re satisfied.” Sun Zinan continued, “I don’t know if you’re used to this kind of thing. If there’s anything you’re offended by, don’t restrain yourself. Xie Zhuo invited all his trustworthy friends.”

This gathering had a total of eight people, each from a different profession. They were all friends Xie Zhuo had met at his bar. Xie Zhuo and Sun Zinan were both rich second generation sons, but the rest were bar singers, painters, drivers, investment managers, and government officials. It was a novel and lively group. But within all these friends, only Sun Zinan’s tone was especially smooth and natural, seemingly the leader of this group. Even though Tang Kai knew Xie Zhuo was extremely close with Sun Zinan to the point of being like brothers, he still felt a little uncomfortable.

He was about to reply, when the table erupted in excitement. The two of them could only break away from their whispered conversation to listen to Xie Zhuo announce the rules of his new game.

This game was actually a variant of Kings. It was an eight person game. They first eliminated players through a method similar to Zheng Shang You, then switched to Fight the Landlord’s rules to eliminate the last two. If the winner was the two peasants, then the final winner was determined by whoever drew the first joker in the deck. The last winner could make any request to any one in the group, and it couldn’t be refused.

Xie Zhou qualified, “You can’t ask a married person to get divorced, or an unmarried person to immediately get married, but you can ask them to go on a date. Friends, let’s go!”

Sun Zinan was speechless. “...What kind of stupid idea is this.”

He turned his head around after saying that, only to realize Tang Kai had, without him noticing, rolled his sleeves up in preparation for the contest.

Sun Zinan, “...”

Although Professor Tang had lost more than a million Huanle Dou earlier that day, his luck turned around at night and he steadily made it to the last round. Coincidentally, the Fight the Landlord round consisted of Tang Kai, Sun Zinan, and the girl they had met on the mountain earlier in the day.

The girl was a painter named Zhai Xiaoxi. Her cards were mediocre, but she was lucky and drew the correct cards every time. This round wasn’t out of the ordinary, and she called out the landlord position without hesitation.

Sun Zinan’s cards were also not that great; he didn’t have any jokers and his chance of losing was pretty high. Tang Kai looked over his own cards expressionlessly, and it was impossible to tell if they were good or bad. He only softly muttered, “The rotten tomato team.”

His voice was very quiet and only Sun Zinan, who was sitting close to him, heard. He lowered his head to look at his own cards and suddenly realized what Tang Kai meant.

The first time he and Tang Kai threw rotten tomatoes at each other, the other peasant had used single cards to trick Tang Kai into wasting his jokers. At the end, he was caught off guard and attacked with four bombs. His reference to the “rotten tomato team” told Sun Zinan precisely that he had no jokers, but did have a bomb.

Sun Zinan didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He thought to himself, this highly regarded Tianhai University professor who was a biologist with an excellent IQ score even had a secret code with his teammates during Fight the Landlord. Did he not think he was losing face?

Zhai Xiaoxi wasn’t used to playing cards so her strategy was very simple. She was most afraid of losing her previous setup at this point, which made it the best time to be deceived. Even though Sun Zinan quietly cursed at Tang Kai, he engaged in the psychological battle as he played.

His inner resolve did not settle and he distractedly placed down a few single cards that fell within Tang Kai’s plan. He successfully copied the key setups from that first match they played together.

“Aiya, I can’t beat that, I really can’t.” Zhai Xiaoxi admitted her loss when Tang Kai threw out four fives and placed her last card onto the table in defeat, before getting up to stretch. “Professor Tang and Sun ge are too strong.”

Sun Zinan smiled. “Not really, you’ll get the hang of it after playing for a while.”

Xie Zhuo had finished reshuffling the cards and came over. “The last battle—drawing for jokers! Success and failure are at stake! Anyone want to make a bet? I bet Boss Sun will win!”

“I’m good at this type of luck thing.” Sun Zinan raised his brows and smiled. “Professor Tang, be careful.”

Tang Kai’s expression didn’t change. “You too, be careful.”

Everyone else, “...” This exchange was really damn cold.

Tang Kai looked blank, while Sun Zinan merely smiled and didn’t say anything. The two of them had textbook poker faces on. No one spoke at the table, watching the game with their breaths caught in their mouths. They could only see the two men speedily take turns choosing and flipping over the other’s cards, killing intent emanating from both of them.

At the very end, each of them had two cards in their hands. Tang Kai’s finger accurately brushed against Sun Zinan’s three of hearts. As he drew it out, he hesitated and stopped slightly.

He abruptly asked, “If I win, will you agree to any request I make?”

Sun Zinan didn’t expect him to suddenly ask such a question and had to seriously think about it for a moment. “As long as it’s not unreasonable.”

“Thanks.” Tang Kai resolutely pulled the card out and said without even looking at it, “I won.”

Sun Zinan, “...”

Tang Kai had casually drawn out the pair of threes.

He stuffed his remaining eight of spades into Sun Zinan’s hand and explained, “A little trick: if I ask you an irrelevant question in a tense situation, you will be caught off guard. If I had chosen a three of hearts, you would have already thought you lost and you would answer yes; if I had chosen the joker then you would think you had won and would instead answer ‘the winner hasn’t been decided yet,’ right?”

This bastard could really bluff. It was uncertain how high his decoding skills could go.

Sun Zinan had been completely defeated.

“The final winner is Professor Tang. You can now make a request to anyone here.” At this moment, Xie Zhuo still remembered to cue as the host of the game. “May I ask who Professor Tang is choosing?”

Everyone’s eyes were fixed upon Sun Zinan; the answer was obvious.

Seeing that the excitement wasn’t too disruptive, Xie Luo urged, “You have to seize this opportunity!”

Tang Kai nodded.

“Did you mean what you said just now?” He turned towards Sun Zinan.

Sun Zinan knew he couldn’t run away, but when he saw Tang Kai’s scheming appearance, he suddenly felt a little nervous. All their interactions to this day were through the qualifier of a ‘blind date.’ If Tang Kai’s request was to break off contact...

Additionally, he had said too much the last time they met.

Tang Kai said bluntly, “This request might be difficult for you, but it’s genuinely my most desired wish at the moment.”

Sun Zinan felt like his smile was about to fall off. “Go ahead.”

Tang Kai said without hesitation, “I want you to cook for me for a week, is that okay?”