Chapter 3: The Reluctant Idol
"Teeheehee. Good. Now listen while I explain, alright?" Fifi chimed in, her voice light and airy. Then her eyes narrowed slightly, a warning smile forming on her face. "Though you're slow, dirty, ugly, and completely lacking in manners, I, the great Idol Goddess, still want to help you. You should be honored, you disgusting trash."
Cain blinked, trying to process everything. "Honored? Honored that a pint-sized goddess is calling me trash?"
Fifi sighed dramatically, shaking her head. "Yes, honored. Do you know how many pathetic humans would kill for this chance? To be transformed from a nobody into a star? Yet here you are, grumbling like an ungrateful swine."
"Hey, I didn't ask for this!" Cain retorted, throwing his hands up. "One minute I'm having a decent night's sleep, and the next, I'm being insulted by a floating brat who thinks she's a goddess!"
Fifi's smile grew even tighter. "Decent night's sleep? You mean passing out drunk and snoring like a wild boar?"
Cain flushed, scratching the back of his head. "That's . . . beside the point."
"The point," Fifi interrupted, her voice sharp, "is that you have been chosen by the universe itself. My job is to mold you into an idol, to take you from the gutter to the stars!"
Cain groaned. "And what if I say no?"
"No?" Fifi's eyes twinkled with amusement.
"I don't want to be an idol."
"Are you sure? You really want to refuse the grand fate the universe has planned for you?"
Cain gulped hard. "Y-yes."
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"I see."
"Is . . . is it alright then?"
"Yes. No one can force you into something that you don't want. Not even the universe or a goddess such as myself."
Cain breathed easy. He could return to his normal life and pretend this was all just a bad joke — a weird dream where a talking bug invaded his world and a foul mouthed chibi little girl wanted him to be an idol to save the planet like in those cheesy cartoons.
"But you'll probably die if you don't follow the course set out by the universe for you."
Cain paused, then his eyes bulged out. ". . . Eh? DIE?!"
Suddenly, lightning flashed outside the window, even though the sky was clear, as if something ominous was approaching.
"That's right. If you don't follow your fate, what awaits you is an early death. So go right ahead. It'll be easier for me since I won't have to babysit a trash like you."
Cain was silent for a moment, his face dark and foreboding, then he beamed. "I want to be an idol, please."
Fifi burst into a big smile. "Great!"
Cain accepted his defeat. Anyway, he would just be an idol momentarily to satisfy this goddess and the universe whims, then he would return to his normal life like nothing happened.
"So do it."
Fifi tilted her head to the side. "Huh?"
"Do it. Make me an idol now."
"What do you mean?"
"Wouldn't it be easier if you just turned me into an idol and be done with it using your magic?"
"What are you talking about? The universe doesn't work that way, you know. Nothing is handed out for free."
"Then what the hell—!"
"Hmm?"
"W-what in the world will I do to become an idol? As you can see, I'm not exactly idol material here."
"That's easy! You'll become an idol by completing daily tasks and missions set by the universe and earning Idol Points and use this points to help you improve yourself. Or you can exchange these points with me for potions and other useful items."
"T-this . . ." Cain felt like he was in one of those magical girl cartoons the other gang members used to watch on TV, where girls aspired to be idols with the help of fairies and magical beings.
So, unbelievable things like that really happen in real life!
But the problem was, he didn't pray or wish to become an idol!
God damn it! Give something like this to someone who really wanted it!
"What was that?" Fifi asked him. "Do I hear cursing?"
"N-nothing. So how does this work exactly?" Cain quickly changed the topic.
Fifi's eyes sparkled with excitement. "It's simple! Every day, the universe will present you with challenges — things like singing in front of a crowd, mastering dance routines, or even dealing with pesky paparazzi. Each time you complete a task, you earn Idol Points. These points can be used to enhance your abilities, like charisma, dexterity, constitution, and even your physical appearance."
"Wait, so you're telling me I have to go through something like singing and dancing to earn my place?"
Fifi nodded enthusiastically. "Exactly! And don't forget, you have me to guide you. I'll make sure you don't stray too far off course."
Cain sighed. "The problem is, I can't sing nor dance or create music and all that bullshit. I'm only good at fighting and nothing else."
Fifi wasn't deterred. "No problem at all! Even an uncultured swine like you can become an idol with Idol Points. Just complete the daily missions, and you're good to go. Plus, every failure is just a step closer to success. And with my guidance, you won't fail."
Cain smirked. "Confident, aren't you?"
Fifi grinned. "Of course! I'm an Idol Goddess, after all. Now, let's get started. Here are your tasks for the day. There's no better way to show you how it works than to experience it yourself."
Cain was amazed when a screen suddenly popped up above his head.
|| T A S K S ||
1. Take a bath and brush your teeth, you stink! +1 Idol Point
2. Run 2 kilometers. It should be easy for a gangster like you who boasts physical strength over anything else. +2 Idol Points
3. Get a stylish haircut. Idol Points will vary based on the style and how well it suits your overall look.
4. Identify your hidden Idol talent. +5 Idol Points
|| END ||