Chapter 125: July 22nd (Thursday) — Ayase Saki
Chapter 125: July 22nd (Thursday) — Ayase Saki
I was sitting beside Asamura-kun, when I noticed him suddenly stand up out of the corner of my eye.
He loudly shouted his best friend's name.
Just then, I heard a metallic clang. I quickly looked back at the green field.
Where's the ball? There!
The ball, which had blended in with the blue sky and white clouds, finally came into view as it bounced onto the grass.
It was rolling through the middle of the fan-shaped outer field while an opposing player frantically chased after it.
Maru-kun, who'd already started running, was sprinting on the white line drawn in the shape of a diamond, and reached the second corner.
A hit? That's called a hit, right?
I turned my head towards Asamura-kun, who was probably happy. To my surprise, he was still standing, shouting loudly.
"He did it!"
It was an expression and gesture I'd never seen him make before. He swung his fist in sheer joy.
Watching him, a smile crept up on my face. It felt contagious. Good for him.
I lightly tapped his hip. He turned around in surprise.
"That was great, wasn't it?" I said with a smile.
Asamura-kun looked surprised for a second before quickly sitting back down. Apparently, he hadn't even realized he'd stood up.
The game was nearing its end, and although Maru-kun had made a hit (apparently called a double), the subsequent players couldn't score. They only managed to get one point back.
By now, they were already three points behind.
And, in the next inning, they let the opposing team score another point, making the gap even wider.
The game ended like that.
Eight to four. Suisei High lost.
The players lined up and then walked from the bench to the stands, bowing their heads in gratitude.
Maaya took the lead, and we all stood up to applaud their efforts.
My smartphone buzzed.
Maaya:[After cleaning up, can you step out for a bit?]
When I looked up, I saw Maaya waving to me from the front of the stands.
I put away the drink I'd opened, told Asamura-kun and the others that I'd be back shortly and headed to the concourse.
I met up with Maaya. It seemed that her group had also finished cleaning up.
"Good work today everyone~! Thank you!"
Maaya waited for a response, then said, "We're having a little get-together near the station. Those who want to join, head to the restaurant~. If you have other plans, feel free to leave!"
"Got it," everyone replied.
"You guys are having a 'thank you' party?"
"Well, we came out during summer break, so it'd be nice to chat a little, dontcha think?"
"Makes sense."
"So, like, I was thinking of surprising Maru-kun and the others in the hallway by the players' locker room. Wanna come with, Saki?"
I was thrown off by Maaya's request. She was holding a bouquet of flowers.
Isn't that what they call ambushing someone? Isn't that annoying? Don't they have post-march meetings and their own get-togethers after club activities?
"It's okay, I've already talked to the club. I just wanna hand them a gift on behalf of all of us," she said, lifting up the bouquet to show me.
Ah okay, so she's the representative of the Maaya cheering squad.
"Then shouldn't you have invited Asamura-kun and the others too?"
I felt that way, but Maaya vaguely responded with, "Well, y'know," implying that she preferred it to be just me.
"Please! I just wanna hand this over and say a few words!"
I decided to go along with it, thinking it wouldn't take too long anyway. If it drags on, I'll just send a message. With that in mind, I followed behind Maaya. I'm not super close with Maru-kun, though. I wonder if it'll be okay. I hope it won't be awkward.
There were stairs leading down to the first floor not far from the concourse, and at the bottom was a hallway leading to the players' changing rooms. We decided to wait near the exit, thinking that we might get in the way if we got too close.
Soon after, the players began to emerge. Maaya being Maaya, she apparently knew a lot of guys in the baseball club. As she passed by, she exchanged greetings and "Well done's" with them. Some nicely offered, "Want me to grab Maru for you?" but Maaya politely declined, saying that we were already waiting for him.
Maru-kun was the last to come out. He kept looking back into the locker room, as if checking on something, then bowed to those inside and stepped out. He walked with his head slightly down.
When he noticed us, a subtle smile played at the corners of his mouth.
"Great job today," Maaya said, handing him the bouquet.
Maru-kun's eyes went wide in surprise as he accepted the flowers.
"Sorry."
"It's from everyone who came to support you. For the entire baseball team. We figured you should receive it since you're captain."
"Ah."
Maru-kun admired the bouquet while standing to the side of the hallway so as not to be in the way.
Taking a deep breath, he paused for a moment before finally speaking.
"Well... they were strong," he said, then paused again for a second. "They were just too good. Sorry to disappoint even though you all came to support us."
He gave us a wry smile, but I could tell from his swollen, reddened eyes that he'd been crying a lot before coming out. Yet, Maru-kun always made it a point to be the last to leave, looking out for everyone else first.
Maaya stepped forward, trying to peer into Maru's downcast face.
"Hey, we came to support you on our own, you hear? You don't have to worry about that. Yep, it was fun to watch. I'm totally satisfied!"
She tried to make it sound cheerful, but I could tell her voice was higher than usual.
"I… also had fun. It was my first time watching a baseball match."
"See, see. If Saki says so, then it must be true. If it's just coming from me, you might think I'm just blowing smoke!"
"Not wrong."
"Heeey! That's mean! You're really gonna say that? Well, whatever, if you'd hit eight balls in four tries, we would've won, right? Boo!"
"Hey now, how the heck am I supposed to get more hits than at-bats?"
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"Use two balls! And if you have two pairs of hands and feet, it's physically possible!"
"You mad scientist. Narasaka, we seriously need to discuss what the word 'physical' actually means one day."
"Bring it on!"
They're really close, huh? I thought to myself as I watched their playful banter. When did these two become such good friends?
Maru-kun cracked a smile watching Maaya puff out her chest and act all high and mighty. But a second later, that grin contorted into a grimace.
"Haha… you're really something…"
After glancing up at the ceiling as if he was trying to hold something back, Maru-kun suddenly looked my way.
"Hey, Ayase."
"What?"
"How did Asamura look?"
"Huh, Asamura-kun?"
"You were watching with him, weren't you?"
"Um…"
Well, that's... we were together, but…
"Maru-kun, you've been saying for a while that you wanted Asamura-kun to watch you play at least once, haven't you?"
He has? But if that's the case, then he should've just invited him directly.
"If I only invited Asamura, he's the type who'd just come and watch on his own."
"And that's a problem?"
"Well, yeah... I wanted him to watch, but I also wanted someone to watch him watching me."
So someone watching Asamura-kun, who was watching Maru-kun?
I tilted my head, not really getting it.
"Hmm, it's hard to explain," Maru-kun said, his gaze wandering to an open window on the side of the concourse.
Summer spread out under the sunlight, accompanied by the sound of cicadas.
"Do you know what the WBC is, Ayase?"
"I don't," I answered honestly and was met with a wry smile.
I mean, I've never really been interested in sports. I haven't even watched the Olympics.
"It's short for World Baseball Classic. It's basically a competition to determine who the best baseball team in the world is."
"The world… Umm, so it's a big baseball game, is that right?"
"Yeah, something like that."
Maru-kun told me a story from his childhood.
It was a little after the end of analog TV broadcasting, around the time LCD TVs became widespread. That made HD broadcasts on big flatscreens become accessible to everyone. That summer, a big flatscreen came to Maru-kun's house, and since he was already an anime fan, he became glued to the TV.
Then, that autumn, the WBC was held.
His entire family would watch the games together, and while Maru-kun was initially frustrated because he couldn't watch his anime, he quickly became captivated by baseball.
The sight of pro players competing on the world stage left a lasting impression on young Maru. Running around the field, pitching, and hitting. Not to mention the breathtaking pitching duels and exciting slugfests. Sadly, Japan couldn't clinch the title that year, but the sight of players chasing that small white ball profoundly influenced him.
It was thrilling to watch. It made his hands sweaty and his heart race. The excitement he felt through the screen was incomparable to any other form of entertainment, and young Maru began to dream of making others feel the same exhilaration through baseball.
"So you were thinking about that while playing baseball…"
"Not really."
I couldn't help letting out a, "Huh?" So he wasn't thinking about that?
"I continued playing baseball because I loved it, but it wasn't like I was always thinking about that while playing. As a kid, maybe, but the better I became, the more I felt the gap between pro players and me. I began to think it might be impossible for me. So, over time, I stopped thinking about it."
"I… see."
All three of us fell into silence for a moment.
"So, yeah. After a lot of things happened, I recently remembered why I started in the first place. Well, I guess it was probably because of the parent-teacher interviews."
I wondered why he was bringing up the past, but it turned out Maru-kun had started thinking about his own future aspirations.
Being a third-year high school student, everyone starts thinking about their future.
"I asked Asamura something a while ago. About what someone needs to be a pro athlete."
"Umm... talent?"
Maru-kun chuckled.
"You two... you really are two peas in a pod."
"What do you mean?"
"Ah, well, that's another story. Anyway, Ayase, what do you think talent is?"
"The ability necessary to perform a certain profession," I answered immediately.
Maru-kun nodded deeply.
It's a common misconception, but the term "talent" doesn't inherently mean an ability derived from genes or birth. I once heard from Mom that when talking about talents you're born with, we often use the term "innate" or "natural" before it. That means if we have to use qualifiers like that, the word "talent" itself isn't necessarily about being born with it.
That's a perspective you'd expect from my Mom, who'd learned the skills of bartending out of necessity. The ability necessary to perform a certain profession.
Mom also said some professions might heavily rely on genetic abilities. Though, I'm not sure how genes would influence bartending skills, to be honest.
"Solid answer. But it's also not the complete answer. I used to think the same way. That's why I was always conscious of the skill gap between me and pro players."
"Yeah, I get you."
Even though I love cooking, I've never been inclined to pursue a career as a chef. I just don't think I've got the chops for it. Well, I also don't really have the drive to get better either. If it tastes good to me, that's all that matters.
So, just like my cooking, Maru-kun continued with baseball simply because he loved it?
"But I started thinking there's more to it than just that. Like I told Asamura, I reckon for pros, it's all about if they can bring in the big bucks with their performance."
Maaya chose that moment to jump in.
"So it's like, whether people think it's worth paying to watch?"
"Exactly. That's it. That's why scouts notice you, and how you gain fans. It's that 'star quality.' Being good is essential, but it's not the only thing."
"Oh, Maru, always with the complicated stuff."
"It's a complex topic. And, as I've also told Asamura, I'm not confident that, beyond my technique, my play has any appeal to the audience."
As Maru finished speaking, it finally clicked for me what he was expecting from me.
"In essence, you wanted someone to watch you play and give feedback?"
Maru-kun nodded.
"Not feedback from every single spectator, obviously. If I could do that, my play would have already caught someone's eye."
Though, he probably held some hope for that too.
"But, you know, I just wanted to play in a way that would move my friend's heart. This is my last year in high school, after all. I didn't want to have any regrets about the time and effort I poured into baseball," Maru-kun said quietly, before turning to me.
"So how did he look?"
"Yeah… umm…"
There wasn't any point in lying, and I didn't want to either, so I just told him what I saw Asamura-kun do. About how Asamura-kun, who'd been watching quietly, had spontaneously stood up and cheered when Maru-kun made a hit. About the frustration on his face when the last out was made. That it was my first time seeing him make expressions like that.
Maru-kun listened in silence until the end, then replied, "Gotcha."
"I really wanted to win and show it off to him, y'know? Man, I feel so pathetic."
"It's okay! You did your best!" Maaya said with a pout.
"Look, in a competition, just 'doing your best' doesn't really mean much. It's not a contest of who tried harder."
"Hmph."
Maru-kun shrugged at the frustrated face Maaya was making. I got what he was saying. It's not about who tried the hardest. But then—
"But, you said that when you were a kid, you watched the… WBC was it? Japan didn't win, right?"
"Right, they came third… I think."
"So why did you start playing baseball after watching that?"
Maru-kun looked stumped by that.
"Well… I was moved by how hard they tried to win, I guess…"
"Then, if Asamura-kun was moved by your performance, isn't that worth something? Maybe you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Unless… you weren't really trying your hardest?"
"I was!"
Maru-kun's voice unintentionally rose in his defense, and he snapped his mouth shut quickly.
Maaya gave his broad back a playful pat.
From down the hallway, I heard his teammates calling out, "Oiii, Maru." Looks like we'd chatted for a bit too long.
"We should probably head back now."
"O-oh… Thanks for the bouquet, Narasaka."
"Not good enough!"
"Huh?"
"Such a common, formal 'thank you' is boringgg! Do it again! C'mon, think of something! Like calling me 'Princess Maaya' or 'Lady Maaya'!"
"Wha-! You idiot."
With a look of disbelief, Maru-kun abruptly turned away and started walking towards his teammates.
"How mean! Isn't that mean?"
"I said I was grateful... Maaya."
With that, he strode away.
"Alright, let's head back too. Let's go... Maaya?"
"D-don't look at me!"
For some reason, Maaya's face was beet red, and she was looking off into the distance. She seemed frozen in place.
...But we're keeping Asamura-kun and the others waiting.
Once Maru-kun's figure disappeared out of sight, only Maaya and I were left in the narrow first-floor hallway.
A lukewarm breeze blew in through the hallway window, which was just a square hole.
"Should we go now?"
"Ah, yeah. Sorry for keeping you waiting," Maaya said, and we started heading for the stairs leading up to the second-floor hallway.
But Maaya stopped after a few steps. I hurried back to her.
"What's wrong?"
A tear dropped from her downcast face, making a small, ink-like stain on the gray concrete floor.
"Maaya...?"
I tried to peek at her face, but Maaya buried it in my chest. A muffled sob escaped.
"It's not fair. It's really not fair."
"Maaya."
I think this is the first time I've seen her cry. It wasn't loud, just a suppressed cry as she continued burying her face in my chest. All I could do was gently stroke her back.
In between her sobs, Maaya told me about how hard Maru-kun had been working for this summer's tournament. I didn't know how she knew so much about it, but Maaya told me everything. About how he'd even started running in the early morning on cold winter days. And when they'd met up on a rare day off, and he was so tired that he fell asleep face down in a cafe (So they were meeting up in places like that.) He even sacrificed watching his favorite late-night anime to make sure he got enough sleep, and he stopped going to events.
"Events?"
"He even skipped Comiket! Maru-kun did!"
I wasn't really sure what that was, but it seemed important. Maaya had been so immersed in Maru-kun's efforts that his loss felt like it was her own.
"But... But, y'know, the one who really wants to cry is him. So, y'know—"
She couldn't cry in front of him, so she'd been holding back. The loud cries of cicadas outside the window seemed to drown out Maaya's quiet sobs.
Clouds hid the sun, dimming the hallway. The light pouring in faded, and the tear stains on the floor faded from view along with it.
"Sakiii…"
"Yes, yes. What is it?"
"Thanks for coming with meee."
"I get it, I get it."
I continued patting her back, but Maaya's sobs just wouldn't stop.
Well, this is all I can do anyway.
To call her my "best friend" might be stretching it, given I hadn't been there for her enough. I hadn't even realized how close Maaya and Maru-kun had become.
"Uh… sob. Sakiii…"
"Mm?"
"He really did try his best, didn't he?"
"...Dummy."
"Uh?"
"What if I said he didn't?"
"Mm... I'd be mad."
"Then it's the same no matter what I say, isn't it? Maru-kun said it himself."
"What did he say?"
This girl… Playing dumb when she's usually way more perceptive than me…
"He said he wanted to play in a way that would impress his friends, right? So, what really matters to Maru-kun is how he looked to his friends, not me. Just like how he wanted to show off to Asamura-kun."
Maaya lifted her head.
Oh dear, her tears have made all her foundation and makeup run.
"Here. Wipe your face, wipe your face," I said, as I pressed a handkerchief to her face.
"Mm…"
"Aren't you his friend, Maaya?"
"Sniff… Maybe."
"Then there's no point in me saying, 'I think he did his best.' You should tell him as many times as you want. Because that's genuinely how you saw it, isn't it?"
I spoke slowly, letting the words sink in, and Maaya nodded again and again with her face buried in the handkerchief.
Yeah, my opinion doesn't matter.
In any story, side characters have a big impact on the main character, not some random bystanders. I don't really know Maru-kun that well. In his story, I was nothing more than Background Extra A. I wasn't someone deeply connected to him.
But—What about Maaya? Did she just get to know him as a classmate and then, by some twist of fate, found out about his situation and began cheering him on?
Or maybe she wanted to be more deeply involved—like, wishing to become a named character in Maru-kun's story.
—How do you see him?
—It's something you should tell Maru-kun yourself.
Saying as much to Maaya, I started to wonder who I was really talking about here.
The clouds broke, and sunlight returned.
The light streaming in from the window cast a square shape on the floor.
There were no traces of tears left behind.
***
After parting ways with everyone at Shibuya station, I was left alone with Asamura-kun.
The sun finally began to tilt towards the western sky, and the blue sky gradually darkened from the east.
I snuck a peek at Asamura-kun's face as we walked down the evening street.
When I asked if he was tired, he thought for a moment and gave me a vague answer, as if unsure if he was or not.
I couldn't suppress a laugh. I mean, there's no way he wouldn't be tired after cheering so passionately.
As we turned into a narrow street, the hustle and bustle of the city faded away. It was replaced by the loud chirping of cicadas.
As we walked through the park, Asamura-kun asked about what happened when I met up with Maaya. But I apologized, telling him it was Maaya's private stuff and I couldn't talk about it.
Asamura-kun didn't press it any further.
It's a quality I really admire about him; he respects other people's privacy. But that doesn't mean he intentionally tries to distance himself from others.
...Or maybe he does?
Maybe the Asamura-kun I first met did try to keep his distance. I felt the same way back then. Honestly, I think I was the one more inclined to keep people at arm's length though.
Like a solitary island in the sea. Like an impenetrable stone.
I wanted to be strong and have the skills to survive on my own. Asamura-kun seemed to feel the same way.
He didn't give off the same obvious "stay-away" vibe like I did. He had Maru-kun, a close friend, after all.
In my case, I even tried to keep Maaya at a distance. And still, she patiently waited for me. Until I met Asamura-kun and slowly dismantled the thorny cage I'd built around myself.
Little by little, step by step. Maaya was incredibly patient.
That said, she became super close with Maru-kun without me even realizing it. When she goes for something, she throws patience to the wind and really goes for it.
"Social butterfly" is a term Asamura-kun often uses to describe Maaya. But if you ask me, I'd say Maaya is just really good at maintaining the right distance with people. She approaches those she's comfortable with easily, and with someone tricky like me, she gradually bridges the gap.
I'm the total opposite. I've always struggled with how close or distant I should be with others. Probably because I've been pushing people away ever since I was a kid. So, most people get fed up with my coldness and distance themselves early on. The face of a certain new junior at work flashed up in my mind. At first, they seemed to warm up to me really quickly, but maybe because I felt uncomfortable, it feels like they've been keeping their distance lately. Relationships are complicated.
At the edge of the park, I saw a parent and child playing catch.
"Did you ever do that with Taichi-san?"
I was probably inspired to ask him that because we were literally on our way back from watching a baseball game. I hadn't really intended the question to be that deep.
Asamaru-kun's response was that he used to spend more time reading than playing sports. I could have guessed that, even if he didn't tell me. That definitely fits my image of him.
Still, he knows way more about sports than I do. He brushed it off, saying it was just because he read sports novels and manga. It was obvious he knew more about baseball than I did during the baseball match.
When I pointed that out, Asamura-kun called it a novice's perspective, while also saying he was embarrassed that he'd shouted and gotten really animated when he was cheering.
"I got so caught up watching him that I got carried away too. Thinking about it now, I probably looked pretty stupid."
How can you say that? Especially when your friend was so happy about your reaction.
I was uncharacteristically adamant in my denial. I knew Asamura-kun said those words because he was embarrassed, but I felt the need to correct him.
Maaya should tell Maru-kun how she felt.
But when it came to Asamura-kun—
I stole a glance at the lover walking beside me. Asamura Yuuta—I want to keep being his lover. I don't want to go back to being just another nameless passerby.
So, I passionately explained how I felt seeing him support his friend. If I wanted to be seen as an important character in his story, then I should be the one to tell him that.
I remember myself on the volleyball court, shrinking and cowering. I also remember the faces of everyone who was cheering me on.
The right distance. Maaya didn't hesitate when it came time to step forward.
I took a deep breath.
"I want to hold hands. That okay?"
He looked at me, a little surprised, then down at his own hand. It stayed hovering in the air, so I firmly extended mine.
"Mm."
My heart raced as my hand hung in the air. Asamura-kun gently took it. We let our hands naturally drop between us.
We'd stopped walking at some point, so continued forward, our hands intertwined.
"You know, seeing you cheering your heart out like that, Asamura-kun—"
I'll be the one to tell him.
"I thought—you looked really cool."
The noisy cicadas were a blessing. Had it been quieter, he definitely would've heard the loud pounding of my heart.
I tightened my grip on his hand, not wanting to let go.