Grabbing Your Hand, Dragging you Away

Special Chapter Two: Yan You

He is Yan You, the enthusiastic general manager of a car company in the twenty-first century, Yan You, also the gentleman of the most powerful and wealthiest man — Yan Cheng — in Xiang Yang City of the Yun Ze Kingdom, Yan You.

Even if he finds it ridiculous, even if he finds it difficult to believe, this is indeed the reality, just like the main character in those fantasy novels, he has travelled through time, travelling into a time with an unknown name, travelled into the body of someone who looks exactly like him and have exactly the same name as him.

The gentleman of Yan Cheng’s family, Yan You, was originally intellectually disabled.

Unable to walk at three, unable to speak at five, unable to read at seven……although born with a good-looking appearance, he was indeed intellectually disabled, intellectually disabled through and through.

But when he was seventeen, the gentleman of Yan Cheng’s family suddenly opened up his mind, not only was he no longer a fool, he had even become an intelligent and quick-witted individual, dealing with everyone in a very smooth manner, all whilst taking on his family’s business in good order. And so, the Yan family bubbled with excitement, Xiang Yang City also bubbled with excitement, and Yan You……was puzzled.

He is clearly an ordinary gold collar worker in the modern times, lost his most beloved woman, married another woman in despair, and then when that person had been admitted to hospital after a miscarriage, he numbly returns home to drink alone, mindlessly thinking about his beloved whilst drunk.

When he had opened his eyes again, everything had changed.

The face in the mirror remains the same, but the black hair was held up in a jade crown, a body of luxury brocade long robes, long boots with white soles and black surface, clearly an outfit of the ancients.

And so, from that point on, he was no longer the gold collar worker, Yan You, but the son of a wealthy merchant, Yan You.

He obtained another identity and changed his environment, starting to gradually blend into this strange era, blend in with these unfamiliar people, everything seemed to be going so smoothly, just that he didn’t know, the demon in his heart is growing bigger and bigger, only because of that woman he loves.

That woman he loves is not particularly pretty, a fair and clean face with a light smile, yet she slowly had him get addicted, and then enchanted.

That woman he loves is not particularly exceptional, an ordinary family and an outstanding younger sister, yet she had him no longer holding anyone other than her in his eyes.

That woman he loves is not particularly healthy, often falling unconscious with the ill stricken look in her eyes, yet she had him firmly deciding to accompany her for a lifetime.

He is convinced he loves her, yet he committed a sin that any man is capable of when she was critically ill, and it was irreversible.

He didn’t dare to tell her the truth, that’s right, didn’t dare.

Didn’t dare to see resentment and disgust surface on that pale, ill-stricken face, didn’t dare to imagine how pained, how hopeless she would become after finding out the truth, didn’t dare to expect her forgiveness or anything else, he could only look at her light smile, repeating to her over and over again, he loves her.

He ultimately needed to take up responsibility for that moment of wrong, he must marry the person that was originally his younger sister-in-law, he remembers the smile on the woman’s face when he agreed to take responsibility, remembers him telling her word by word: ‘Even if I marry you, the person I love will always be An Ran only.’ He sees the shattered smile in her eyes, and feels a burst of happiness and sorrows, what can her pain be considered in his eyes? The one he cares for, is only the person he loves, even if that person slightly furrows her brows, it will make him feel pained at heart.

Just that, what right does he have to be sad for her now? All he can do is guard her until the day she recovers, and then cut off his thoughts, watch her enter someone else’s embrace, let someone else give her happiness in his place.

But why did she show up at the wedding, why did she have to know of this unbearable reality, why did she have to fall down right before his eyes?

The person he cherished and loved so much, ultimately died because of his betrayal.

He did not collapse nor fall into hysteria like other people, just that a huge part of his heart went empty, no thoughts, no feelings. He numbly married that disgusting woman, numbly went to work and returned home, numbly reminisced about the one he loves, numbly longed for the scent that belonged to her.

His life, was of numbness.

And that wife-in-name of his had a miscarriage, and then he drank alcohol, and then he time travelled, and then, he obtained a new life.

He seems to have everything here, parents that dearly loves him to the bones, a flourishing business at his fingertips, pretty and charming maids, close and obedient servants……he had everything that other people yearns for.

But his beloved isn’t here, isn’t here.

He would sometimes happen to think, since he was able to come here, then is there a possibility that she is able to come here? Such thoughts sure were thoroughly stimulating to him, so stimulating that he started to spend huge amounts of efforts on finding her, but all he ever got in return was disappointment. He was still happy to go on, time and time again, finding women that share the slightest resemblance to her, then place them by his side, quietly watching that person when he thinks of her, recalling her smile through that person’s smile.

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Until one day, when he went to a brothel to socialise with people, he sees her there –– he thought he had saw wrong, but the warm touch tells him otherwise, she is a living person. He was triggered into tightly hugging her as he calls out her name, but hears her softly and gently say: “This Gentleman, this girl is Lu Qin.”

Only after calming down, does he find that this woman called Lu Qin looks different to An Ran, they just look approximately seventy percent alike……but seventy percent is much more similar than anyone else he had previously found, and with the fact that she looks like An Ran alone, he will not let her suffer any hardships.

He bought Lu Qin out, making her become his personal maid, he can look at the similar face as much as he likes, thinking of her in satisfaction with never-ending greed, but deep down in his heart, there was also a cold voice telling him, Lu Qin is not An Ran, nor can An Ran be replaced by Lu Qin. But he did not care, this sickness of his has already spread into his vital organs –– the longer it gets, the more clearly he remembers everything of their past.

Time passes with a click of a finger, he continues to find women that resembles An Ran, and Lu Qin had also remained by his side for three years. He isn’t unaware of the feelings within Lu Qin’s dark orbs, he isn’t unable to understand the anticipation underlying her eyes, but the person he wants, isn’t her, nor is he willing to commit another wrong.

But all things can go wrong, his drink was drugged, with no exit from the private room, an enchanting woman……

He seems to be unable to escape from this demonic spell, ultimately repeating the same mistake.

When he wakes up, he finds it ridiculously laughable as he looks at the bashful Lu Qin, but as he laughs and laughs, it turns into pitiful cries, he is so pitiful, so pitiful that it makes people laugh.

Lu Qin says to him: “Gentleman, Lu Qin does not ask for a title, does not dare to have any wishful thinking, only ask to stay by Gentleman’s side, showing up when Gentleman wishes to see this face.”

He just lightly smiles, “Stay then.”

Since there is no An Ran here, then no matter what, nothing matters.

Another two years passes, the Yan family increasingly flourishes in Yan You’s hands, he travels far and wide, developing large and small businesses, becoming the renowned stingy merchant of Yun Ze Kingdom. The parents of the Yan family were naturally so happy they couldn’t stop smiling from ear to ear, not expecting this silly and foolish only child of theirs, would actually be so capable, just that there is only one matter that causes them concern, this only child of theirs is already twenty-two years old, long past the average age for men to marry, but what causes them pent-up emotions, is that although he is filial to his parents, he is extremely unyielding on this matter. The elders thought Yan You is just deeply in love with the prostitute by his side, but even when they told him to take in Lu Qin, he showed no reaction at all……exactly what to do about this?!

The two elders ultimately went up to Lu Qin to talk about it, but Lu Qin could only bitterly smile too, saying: “Gentleman’s thoughts……Master, Madam, this servant dares not to overly speculate.”

The two elders have no choice, can only leave it.

Yan You is naturally aware of the secret movements of his parents and Lu Qin, but what has this got to do with him? He is only interested in the Yan Estate’s business right now, and not women. Lu Qin has still kept closely stuck to his side for the past two years, just that his attitude towards her has never changed because of that accident, he admits he is now increasingly indifferent, but he is not at all dissatisfied with his indifference –– that’s right, this is already very good, heart like placid waters, he needs only remember that he once had lover like that, that is enough.

This day, deep into autumn, he sits in the horse carriage as he hurries back to the city from the outskirts, seeing the fire-red maple leaves rising in the wind as he passes the forest, his feelings brightens up a little, a rare sight. That night, his parents mentions the matter of marriage again, this time, the woman is the daughter of a powerful official in the Capital, marrying her will be of great advantage to the Yan family’s business. He just thinks about it for a few minutes, and agrees, then leaves the surprised elders at the table.

Lu Qin lets the tears fall at the side, yet he remains placid, to him, he is marrying a huge asset and power, and not a woman.

That next day, he had made an appointment to meet a huge powerhouse of the north to discuss business in ‘Bamboo Court’, after waiting for a quarter of an hour, that person’s follower comes and notifies him that his family’s master cannot make it due to some matters. He sees that the follower is apologetic yet neither humble nor arrogant, also of handsome and upright appearance, able to see that he is not an ordinary person at one glance. He thinks, even the follower carries such bearings, what would the master be like then? And so, he humbly responds, rearranging the meeting to tomorrow.

When leaving, he looks at the extraordinarily bustling streets, and in a moment of trance, he returns to the times when he had once accompanied An Ran out in the night markets, he lightly smiles, telling Lu Qin to have a casual stroll. Lu Qin reveals the first smile as of recent, tenderly saying: “Yes, Gentleman.”

He and Lu Qin leisurely wanders the busy streets, these loud hawkers, these exquisite and varied little playthings, these fragrances, tempting little snacks……how long has he not noticed these for? He passes by a dumpling stall, recalling how An Ran looked when she used to mutter how she loves dumplings the most, loves dumplings the most, the sweetness and loss in his heart mixes together, full of discomfort.

Lu Qin asks: “Is Gentleman wanting to eat a bowl of dumplings?”

He shakes his head, breaking out into a smile as he says: “Let’s go.” He never eats dumplings, unless he’s accompanying An Ran, now that An Ran isn’t here, why would he eat it?

He turns around, just as he was prepared to leave, he hears a crisp female voice behind him, “Lao-ban (Store-owner/boss), one bowl of dumplings please.”

This is originally an overly ordinary speech, everyone that comes and orders dumplings would speak like that, but he does not know why he turns his head back, turning his head back to see who said those words. And then he sees her, like the first time they met, she is still so pretty and fresh-faced, still so quiet, still so capable of attracting his eyes.

He sees that woman abruptly widen her eyes the moment she sees him, full of surprise and disbelief. He feels his heart stop beating in this moment, and in the next second, what pours out is but endlessly surging wild joy.

An Ran.

He charges forward and tightly wraps her into his embrace, trembling lips actually unable to say any words. He just feels the presence of the body that belongs to her, the warmth and scent that belongs to her.

It was Lu Qin who comes forward and tenderly calls out, “Gentleman.”

He’s unwilling to care about it, but the person in his arms reaches out and pushes his chest, her eyes like black obsidian stones, looking between him and Lu Qin with clear understanding, then says with a seeming smile: “Hope that you’ve been well.”

He starts to get nervous and panics, even his outstretched arms are trembling, “An Ran, I……”

Yet she just lightly smiles, “I have been very well these past few years, you may rest assured, old friend.”

Having said that, she swiftly turns and leaves, and his outstretched arms just hangs in mid air. He lowers his eyes as he bitterly thinks, she says she has been very well, but what he wants to say is……without her, he has not been well at all. He wants to go up and make her stay, wants to tell her how much he regrets and how much he misses her, but he turns timid, he doesn’t dare.

He doesn’t even dare to speak again, just silently following after her, watching her return to an extremely ordinary house, then close the doors without even sparing him a glance.

He looks away with great reluctance, yet when he meets eyes with Lu Qin, he instantly turns ice-cold, coldly saying: “Lu Qin, you know I don’t like people acting smart on their own accord.”

Lu Qin trembles, both eyes holding back tears, “Gentleman, Lu Qin had only……”

He doesn’t care about her answer, both hands held behind his back as he looks at the house in a daze, thinking of the person inside. His lips hook up into a light smile, he thinks he has finally obtained happiness again, and this time, he definitely wouldn’t let her go, definitely wouldn’t.

That next day, he tells his parents the marriage with the minister’s family daughter is cancelled, he will also give Lu Qin some money and let her go. Whether they agree or not, he will marry a woman, a woman he has been searching a long time for.

The parents of the Yan family sees the look of resolution and happiness on their son’s face, and nods their heads in the end.

On one hand, he tells people to inquire about An Ran’s current identity, on the other hand, he tells someone to watch over An Ran, whilst he, quickly takes care of his appointment at ‘Bamboo Court’. Today, he finally gets to meet this powerhouse of the north, Yu Wen. And this Yu Wen indeed doesn’t disappoint him, be it his handsome and noble appearance or his elegant and gracious demeanour, he really cannot be any less than a dragon or phoenix amongst humans.

The two of them can be considered fated, having a harmonious business talk aside, they even manage to have a nice chat, from chatting, he came to know that Yu Wen has already been married for four years, coming to Yun Ze this time, his first objective is business talks, whereas his second objective is to find his runaway wife. He jokes that Yu Wen is a henpecked husband, Yu Wen just lightly smiles, cold and clear voice carrying doting love as he says: “In this world, there is only one person that is able to make me willingly dote on her so much, that is all.”

He thinks of that woman, still as delicately pretty and quiet as before, sincerely lamenting, to have someone in the world that makes one willingly dote on them, is indeed a type of happiness.

The people he sent to inquire about her has already reported back to him, An Ran’s current name is Ah-Lan, had just entered Xiang Yang City several days ago, and is now living alone in a little house, north of the city.

In fact, he wishes to go up to her and loudly beg for her forgiveness, beg for her to give him another chance, but he doesn’t dare to, with fear coming from the bottom of his heart, he doesn’t dare to. He is also afraid that his pestering would cause the relationship between the two of them to become more rigid –– that’s right, with the past they share, even if she no longer holds resentment in her eyes, he is still afraid.

That’s why he did nothing, he just quietly shows up outside her house every day, watching her leave the doors, watching her wander the streets, watching her teach poetry to the children next door, watching her charming smile appear gentler under the sunshine. She does not speak up to say anything to him, nor does she reveal a look of disgust and shoo him away, she just quietly spends her day, and for him, just watching her like this is already enough. He greedily watches everything she does, unable to stop.

A week later, she finally says the first sentence to him, and that sentence had him abruptly fall from heaven to hell.

She lightly smiles as she says: “Yan You, I’m already married.”

He cannot believe it, trying hard to maintain a calm smile as he says: “An Ran, you’re lying. You clearly have your hair combed into a maiden hairstyle, you live here alone, you have not gotten married, you are just deliberately provoking me. You still hate me, don’t you? An Ran, I was wrong, I only love you, I will marry none other than you in this lifetime! Will you give me a chance? One chance, just one chance!”

She shakes her head, lightly saying: “I’m married.”

His heart instantly freezes, he knows she is speaking the truth, she would never speak lies to him, never had in the past, wouldn’t now.

He doesn’t know how he had returned home, he doesn’t know how he had registered those words, he just feels like he really wants to get drunk, because he can forget everything when drunk. He meets up with Yu Wen for a drink, the actual situation is, he holds a jar of wine and drinks until he’s drunk, whilst Yu Wen is still refined as ever as he sips from a cup. He suddenly asks: “Yu Wen, should your woman have gotten married, what would you do?”

Yu Wen’s long and fine eyes make a slight turn, thin lips lightly hooking up, “Since it is the woman I love, then I would not let her have the chance of marrying another.”

He vaguely shouts: “Then what if she’s already married when you had met her?”

Yu Wen’s long eyes slightly narrows, certainty carried within his chuckle as he says: “Someone I want, will only be mine no matter what.”

He looks at Yu Wen’s calm yet firm face and suddenly thinks it through more, that’s right, so what if she’s married, he loves her, so he will fight for her love all over again, it’s nothing more than that.

After sobering up and starting to recover his memories of the days, although his heart is in bitter pain, when he sees her, everything else seems to no longer be of any importance – she is here, this is the heaven’s blessing. Even if she turns a blind eye to him, says nothing to him now, he believes that a few years later, ten years later, decades later, she would ultimately forgive him.

He is willing to patiently wait on like this, but didn’t think he simply couldn’t wait on.

This day, he accompanies her to water the garden, when the main doors swings open, Yu Wen’s tall and slender figure appears in his sight. Just when he was about to ask Yu Wen in surprise, how did he know that he’s here, he instead sees Yu Wen not even spare him a glance, directly walking up to An Ran.

Yu Wen’s long and slender fingers brushes over her cheeks, lightly asking: “Are you done playing around yet?” Then, he sees An Ran who had always been quiet, reveal a slight pout, shaking her head as she says: “No.”

Yu Wen sounds a chuckle, gently leaning down to her ear as he slowly says: “Fine, I’ll play along with you then.”

Within a moment, he connects everything together, Yu Wen’s runaway wife, the single yet supposedly married An Ran……

All has become clear, turns out An Ran’s husband is Yu Wen, the wife Yu Wen dotingly loves is An Ran.

Yu Wen does not question why he would be here, with an attitude of a great host, he treats him with great hospitality in An Ran’s stead, instead, it is he who flees in defeat, not daring to see the invisible tacit understanding between the two, not daring to see the sweetness in the eyes of the two, not daring to see the position that had once belonged to him, be taken over by someone else……when facing the woman he loves, he is so cowardly.

But will he give up just like that?

He is unwilling to resign, even if the opponent is Yu Wen, he will still fight.

But he becomes more and more hopeless and dispirited by the day, their relationship is not something he can intervene with, the doting and love that sees no one else, the tacit understanding and naturalness of each move and each gesture, as well as the bright red kiss mark that cannot be concealed on her neck……all seems to be laughing in his face, causing his heart to shatter but can do nothing about it.

Just when he was about to crumble down, Yu Wen comes finding him, handsome face completely calm, he lightly says a few phrases, “I don’t care what relationship you had with her in the past, but you remember, she is mine now, and will only be mine in future.”

He looks at this man, calm and steady no matter when, and suddenly admits defeat, if his opponent is any other man, then perhaps he would still have a chance, but the one he faces is Yu Wen, a man who knows what he wants, and would never be shaken.

He lost to Yu Wen’s unyielding firmness, thoroughly lost to him.

No longer will he unreasonably ask to receive her love, because she has already fallen in love with the person most worthy of her love in this world.

That person, was not him in the past, nor is it him now.

On this day, he goes to the remote little woods alone, with his back against the big tree, he cries to his heart’s content, just like when he saw his toy car get mercilessly smashed by his mother as a child.

He has only ever loved one woman in his previous life and in this life, and now, he has finally lost her forever, unable to get her back again.

****

Spring air fills the dimly lit room, and endlessly sounding from beyond the sheer curtains, are the soft moans and tender cries of a woman, along with the wickedly provocative words of a man, everything seems to be so……harmonious.

The man suddenly speaks up, deep and husky voice containing strong desires, “My lady.”

“En……?”

“Your husband has a little question to ask you.”

“What’s the matter?”

“The Gentleman Yan from today is an old acquaintance of yours?”

“En……this matter is a rather long story……”

“So it’s like that……” The man’s gentle voice makes a slight change, with slight ill-intent, “Then your husband shall listen to you slowly tell me.”

“Ah……” The woman softly cries, anger carried within shyness as she says: “You, you stop now!”

“Stop?” The man pauses, saying with a seeming smile: “Is my lady joking with your husband?”

“Mm……” The woman bites onto the blanket, swallowing back the moan that was to come, somewhat pleading as she says: “Light-, lighter!”

The man wickedly says: “Your husband feels we could go stronger.”

Having said that, he relentlessly advances, directly causing the woman to let out a light and soft moan that makes one blush and skip a heartbeat, that soft moan is clearly full of tears, yet the sweetness amongst it cannot be denied, only causing the one that hears it to become even more hotblooded. And so……

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“My lady, why aren’t you speaking? Your husband is waiting for you to speak about your past with that gentleman.”

“*whines*……no, Cousin, enough now……I’m not saying anything……”

“My lady’s words isn’t right, how is this enough? Your husband hasn’t had enough yet, far from enough.”

“Cousin, I was wrong, stop, *whines*, too much……”

“Looks like your husband hasn’t been trying hard enough, for my lady to still have the energy to talk……very well, your husband shall try harder.”

The woman’s response is yet another burst of tender moans.

This night……en, indeed a very difficult one to endure.