Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Chapter 17 - You cannot lie about my sexual orientation in front of my beloved!

Jing Huan was in the middle of typing when he saw a few dark clouds pop up above his head. He instinctively wanted to move, and he ended up typing the letters for moving into the dialog box.

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: hhhhhhh

[Current] Regardless of Lovesickness: You can still laugh right now?

After talking, the wizard wand in her hand suddenly transformed into claws, and she charged straight at Xiao Tianjing.

“I’ve been wronged, I just wanted to dodge her skill…” Without the time to type, he could only mumble softly in a voice message.

Xiang Huaizhi raised his sword to meet her head-on and shielded Xiao Tianjing behind him. “Un, don’t chat anymore. Hide well.”

After Jing Huan had bought this account, the arena points had been reset. After three consecutive wins, the system believed that she had a lot of hidden strength, and with Yearning For in the party, it wasn’t strange for them to be matched up with Chunxiao.

Xiang Huaizhi frowned slightly. The two people opposite were both SPK players. During the few years when he hadn’t signed up yet, it was the two of them who took teams to play in server-wide PKs on behalf of their server, so they operated their characters well.

They might not necessarily win this round.

“Gege, I remember that Regardless of Lovesickness was a Fairy Fox Cave some time ago ah?” Jing Huan backed up to hide. “Why is she a mage now?”

“Mages were buffed this year, so she might have switched sects for the upcoming SPK.” Xiang Huaizhi replied.

The two people clashed in the middle of the map, and both of them were struck by each other’s offensive skills. Xiang Huaizhi had good equipment, and he had avoided quite a few of Regardless of Lovesickness’ skills as well. After about ten or so seconds, Regardless of Lovesickness had lost half of her HP, but Xiang Huaizhi had only lost 30%.

“Gege’s so great!” Jing Huan immediately fawned all over him and threw out a blood pool. “Gege quick, drink my milk!”

Xiang Huaizhi choked. “…speak properly.”

Jing Huan was stunned, then sneered. Sure enough, people whose minds are full of garbage would pornify anything they hear!

He said innocently, “But I am speaking properly ya.”

The blood pool was delivered right below Xiang Huaizhi’s feet, and his HP immediately rose a little.

Jing Huang, “Gege my milk hit!’

After he spoke, he saw Chun Xiao, who had never moved, raise her hand slightly. A lotus appeared below Regardless of Lovesickness’ feet, and with a swish, her HP was filled to the brim.

Filled, to, the, fucking, brim!

Jing Huang, “…”

Seeing how she fell silent, Xiang Huaizhi couldn’t help but laugh for some reason, then said lightly, “Chunxiao is a Mount Putuo, her equipment attributes all have added healing effects. It’s a disparity between sects; there’s no problem with you.”

There would always be wins and losses in the arena, so Xiang Huaizhi didn’t mind it much. He glanced at the map and considered whether to forcibly kill Chunxiao. After all, as long as Chunxiao was standing behind her, it would be very difficult for him to get rid of Regardless of Lovesickness.

At that moment, Xiao Tianjing suddenly shot past them very quickly. She jumped onto a huge stone and nimbly threw out a light-coloured spider. The spider flew straight at Chunxiao — it was a sealing skill of Fairy Fox Caves.

Upon seeing this, Chunxiao’s first reaction was to jump to the right. But who would’ve thought that right after she landed, the spider stopped right at her toes and quickly spit out its cobweb that sealed her magic.

…this Xiao Tianjing had actually predicted her movements.

Yes, although Fairy Fox Caves wasn’t a healer sect, an even more special feature of this sect was its flexibility and seals. It had a lot of sealing skills, and its only drawback was its limited scope of effect. The skills didn’t have a high hit rate, and it was even worse than the hit rate of her blood pools.

“Gege! I sealed her! She can’t use magic anymore!” Jing Huan blurted out, “Aren’t I good–”

“Good.” Xiang Huaizhi responded very quickly, “Now run.”

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Jing Huan was stunned, and before he understood what the other party meant, he saw the ribbon that Chunxiao was carrying transform into two long swords, then she increased her speed, and rushed at him.

He immediately dodged; Chunxiao’s swords struck the stone, and the stone shattered in response.

“She’s a violent type of healer.” Xiang Huaizhi slowly continued the rest of his sentence.

Jing Huan, who had already delivered himself to Chunxiao’s doorstep, “&#k2026;”

Fuck, couldn’t you have said so earlier?!

Looking at the little fairy fox bouncing around in the arena, Xiang Huaizhi found it inexplicably comical, but after some time passed, he also felt like something was wrong.

Chunxiao chose to play a violent healer because she was very good at predicting people’s movements, so she could hit her enemies even without relying on the scope of her skills. Yet in the few minutes that had passed, Xiao Tianjing had only gotten hit once.

“…wuwuwu she’s still chasing me!” Jing Huan asked, “Gege how is it on your side? Can you beat her?”

If you can’t, then surrender; if you can, then hurry and kill her and come help me ah!!

This Chunxiao was really too terrifying. There were a few times when he barely managed to dodge by a hair’s breadth, and because he really hadn’t played PK in a long time, it was really hard on him.

There was no sound from the other side, but the character in game was still moving. Jing Huan urged again, “Gege?”

After a while, Xiang Huaizhi suddenly said, “Look at your skills column.”

Jing Huan, “I’m looking, why…”

“There’s a pink skill called Love Shred.”

“Un?”

“Throw it at Chunxiao’s face.”

“???” Jing Huan looked at the scope of the Love Shred skill. “Gege, the scope of this skill isn’t even as big as my nail…”

“I can’t go over right now.” Xiang Huaizhi said simply, “Seal and you’ll live, miss and you’ll die.”

“…”

Jing Huan grit his teeth and after bouncing off two stones, he quickly turned around and threw the Love Shred.

Not surprising in the slightest…he missed.

He softened his voice, “Gege…”

“Continue.” Xiang Huaizhi said, “Just think of her as me.”

“?”

“Just think of it as you’re throwing blood pools for me. Throw slowly, and don’t get anxious.”

Jing Huan automatically overlooked the latter part of his sentence.

Treat Chunxiao as Yearning For?

Needless to say, although Chunxiao had a mature woman avatar, she was like Yearning For in the sense that they both wore black clothes and wielded long swords.

After speaking, Xiang Huaizhi freed some time up to look at the other side; the little fairy fox was still being chased and hacked at, while her tail swayed from side to side in the air.

He suddenly felt a little silly, how could he have pinned his hopes on Xiao Tianjing?

Just as he was about to abandon Regardless of Lovesickness and save that little fairy fox first, he saw that the one who had always been running away suddenly turn back and obediently throw out a Love Shred.

Love Shred hit Chunxiao squarely this time; Chunxiao was immediately imprisoned in place, unable to move.

He raised an eyebrow, and just when he was about to praise ‘beautiful’, a strange scene happened–

After Xiao Tianjing sealed Chunxiao, she wasn’t in a hurry to rush back to a safe position, and instead drew out the whip in her hand and harshly flung it at Chunxiao!

A bright red “1” appeared on Chunxiao’s body.

The Love Shred’s seal only lasted for 7 seconds. After 7 seconds, Chunxiao once again hacked the stone cliff next to Xiao Tianjing. Xiao Tianjing took the chance to throw out another Love Shred, and it hit.

Then she drew her whip out and whipped Chunxiao again, dealing “2” damage this time.

Xiang Huaizhi, “…”

Xiang Huaizhi, “What are you doing?

[Current] Chunxiao: ?

[Current] Chunxiao: Wow.

Jing Huan felt like he was just awakened from a dream.

…crap.

“…didn’t you as me to think of her as you?” He stammered as he explained, “I just, I just couldn’t hold back! I wanted to touch you more!”

Xiang Huaizhi, “…”

The more he spoke, the more smooth Jing Huan became. “I wanted to…flirt…with Gege.”

Xiang Huaizhi felt like he might be turning immune soon. “…oh?”

“But she seems to have misunderstood, what should I do ya…”

“It’s all right.” Xiang Huaizhi got rid of Regardless of Lovesickness and immediately rushed to where they were, “Run a little farther.”

As a violent healer, Chunxiao’s weakness was that she had low resistance. After the two of them chased each other for a while, Xiang Huaizhi wore down most of her HP.

Upon seeing this, Jing Huan quickly said, “Wow Gege, are we going to win?”

Xiang Huaizhi was just about to respond to him when he saw the little spider beneath Chunxiao disappear— the magic seal had expired.

It was Jing Huan’s first time using a Fairy Fox Cave to play PVP, and he wasn’t used to it yet, so he didn’t reseal her immediately. He saw Chunxiao switch right back to her ribbon, shake her hand gently, and instead of choosing to heal herself, who was at critical HP, she used a revive skill.

Xiang Huaizhi thought, crap.

Regardless of Lovesickness, who had fallen to the ground, was saved, and she immediately used her sect’s ulti on Jing Huan.

Her ulti had a 100% hit rate. Three successive hits by magic spells; Jing Huan didn’t have a complete set of equipment yet, so his HP was instantly emptied by these three hits. The little fairy fox suddenly fell to the ground, and its huge tail wrapped around his whole avatar.

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: …

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: QAQ uwahhh!!!

Yearning For was a DPS sect that didn’t have any revival skills. It was fortunate that Chunxiao’s skill had a long CD. He said, “Don’t worry, we can win. I’ll revive you with a potion after I kill Regardless of Lovesickness, otherwise your corpse will be controlled. After you get up, seal Chunxiao first.”

Before he even finished, a row of prompts flashed in front of his eyes.

【Players Chunxiao, Regardless of Lovesickness have admitted defeat, you have won this match.】

【Congratulations Yearning For for defeating Chunxiao, Regardless of Lovesickness, and achieving four consecutive wins!】

Since Jing Huan was still dead when the battle ended, not only did he not obtain any points, but he even lost three points instead.

Obviously, the other side chose to run away so that he wouldn’t get any points.

This kind of tactic had always existed, but very few people used it because it was too insidious. A loss was a loss, there was no need to do something like this. Almost every year, stupid incidents would be triggered by such a tactic in NCH.

Jing Huan sighed; he felt really wronged.

Xiang Huaizhi, “I’m sorry.”

Jing Huan was stunned. “Un? What’s wrong?’

“I didn’t revive you.” Xiang Huaizhi asked, “How many points were deducted?”

“It’s okay, I’m the one who forgot to reseal her. And only 3 points were deducted.”

Xiang Huaizhi uttered an “un”. “I’ll get them back for you.”

Jing Huan hadn’t understood what he meant when Xiang Huaizhi spoke in the game.

[Current] Yearning For: One more round.

Since other teams were still fighting, only his and Chunxiao’s teams were in the waiting area at this moment, so he had clearly said that for them to hear.

[Current] Chunxiao: Okay.

[Current] Regardless of Lovesickness: You think we’re afraid of you?

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: [surprise]!!!

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: Hold on! Harmony attracts riches, harmony attracts riches… Why don’t we take the chance to clear things up? It’s so bad to keep fighting and killing each other QAQ

Fuck! He doesn’t want to PK with those two with the equipment he has now! On the one hand, he would have to rely on luck to win, but if he lost, then wouldn’t it be so damn shameful?!

[Current] Regardless of Lovesickness: What’s there for me to say to you?

[Current] Regardless of Lovesickness: If you had just deceived my guild’s elder, then so be it, but you even dared to try and seduce my wife! I’m already being very polite not doxxing you!

Jing Huan was a little dumbstruck. “Who’s her wife? Isn’t she a girl?”

Xiang Huaizhi paused. “I heard that she’s a couple with Chunxiao.”

A sudden realisation dawned upon Jing Huan.

No wait, wasn’t the original owner of this account too immoral? Eating both men and women was one thing, but even trying to seduce married women?

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: That’s the sin of the original owner, it has nothing to do with me ah sister QAQ

[Current] Regardless of Lovesickness: I don’t believe you.

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: If you don’t believe me, then hear my voice, it’s definitely not like the original owner’s at all!

[Current] Regardless of Lovesickness: You turned on a voice changer ba?

…fuck, he was exposed.

Jing Huan decided to change the topic.

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: …I didn’t! [anger]

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: You people from Idle Pavilion have always been bullying, killing, and humiliating me, but I endured it all!

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: But you cannot lie about my sexual orientation in front of my beloved!!

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: That’s my bottom line! My heart, my soul, my body, all belong to God of War Gege!! I didn’t try to seduce your wife!!! [hammers table][anger]

Right after that sentence was sent out, Regardless of Lovesickness and Chunxiao were still standing foolishly on the spot when Jing Huan’s interface suddenly changed — a battle had started.

Xiang Huaizhi couldn’t bear to watch any longer. He had clicked on ‘match’ straight away.

His eyebrows were twitching as he suddenly realised that he might have really gone crazy just now; he actually even thought about taking the little fairy fox along to win the points back.