Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Chapter 43 - I will guard Gege’s health bar!

Edited by Divetus and Rega

Love is For You to Eat was used to Jing Huan’s way of speaking. Seeing her say that, she sent over a lot of smiley face emoticons.

For the other PUG teammates, this was their first time seeing a girl who could say such colorful and flowery things. They silently AFK-ed, only daring to peep at the screen but not daring to interrupt.

[Team] Love is For You to Eat: Hahaha OK, I understand. By the way, did you go open up any Opportunity Stones today? Did you get anything good?

Jing Huan was stunned.

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: I didn’t open any Opportunity Stones.

[Team] Love is For You to Eat: Huh? Didn’t Qiufeng say he would give you 100 of them?

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: 0.0 How did you know… I didn’t want it. It’s too expensive, and I never get anything good. [crying]

[Team] Love is For You to Eat: I saw it in the guild WeChat group, lol.

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: Guild group?

[Team] Love is For You to Eat: Mmhm, Don’t Ask when I’ll Return mentioned it in the afternoon.

Jing Huan then understood. Don’t Ask when I’ll Return, this gossip king, must have told them all about their chat during the instance.

He didn’t care. He was just planning to heal up Yearning For a bit and boost his attack power when he saw three letters hanging over Yearning For’s head—AFK.

Since the target wasn’t even here, there was no need to try and flatter him. Jing Huan crossed his legs, took a sip of coffee from the mug beside him, and switched back to Boxing King to continue punching the NPC.

On the other side, Xiang Huaizhi picked up his cellphone. Because he hadn’t opened the guild WeChat group for a long time, the number of notifications had soared to 99+.

He scrolled up for awhile and found the chat that Love Is For You to Eat was talking about.

Don’t Ask when I’ll Return: Damn it, guild officer is so generous. He opened his mouth and immediately said that he’ll send Xiao Tianjing 100 Opportunity Stones!!

Don’t Ask when I’ll Return: Will anyone send me any Opportunity Stones? If I get anything good, I’ll give it to you, I just want to play a bit. My luck may be a little better than Xiao Tianjing’s. I don’t even need 100, even just ten is OK. 🙂

Thousand Lights: Guild Officer is wooing Xiao Tianjing. Is anyone chasing you? [doubt]

Is Gege Big: What’s going on? I’m very curious, so I’m going to ask, which guild officer are you talking about?

Since the cooperation of getting the first clear for the guild instance went so well, in order to keep Yearning For’s team in the guild, Chunxiao had given him the position of Xuanwu Hall guild officer.

As soon as this question was asked, the guild chat was silent for several minutes.

Qiufeng: It’s me, haha, but sadly she refused it. Return wants to play? Here’s ten for you.

Don’t Ask when I’ll Return: Omg, are you lying to me?

Qiufeng: Really, just don’t talk about this situation in the guild chat anymore. I’m afraid she’s shy. You can see that she isn’t even talking now. [tapes mouth shut]

Don’t Ask when I’ll Return: OK! I’m in the main city, guild officer [shy]

Peachy Fate: Guild Officer thinks you talk too much, A-Qi!

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Don’t Ask when I’ll Return: That’s fine. As long as you send me a few Opportunity Stones, you can say whatever you want about me. [shy]

Don’t Ask when I’ll Return: I have received the Opportunity Stones! Wishing Guild Officer and Xiao Tianjing 100 years of marriage! Have a rich baby soon! Be happy everyday!

Seeing this, Xiang Huaizhi turned off WeChat.

He had been in this server for a long time. Although he didn’t like to gossip, with Lu Hang around, he still heard a lot of things.

Don’t look at Qiufeng thinking that he’s pitiful for being swindled in an online relationship. In fact, the last one who swindled him out of all that money was his 10th in-game wife.

With the number of marriages Qiufeng had, Lu Hang practically wanted to bow down to him. One of Qiufeng’s strongest points was that he had peacefully broken up with all of his previous nine NCH wives. Several girls had posted on the forums, but all of them were defending Qiufeng. Several even thought that they were “not worthy of him”.

Lu Hang once even said that Qiufeng was the pinnacle of slag men.

Xiang Huaizhi looked at the little fox fairy at his side.

Would Jing Huan become Qiufeng’s 11th wife?

Qiufeng was a warlock dressed elegantly in white. Recently, he was neck and neck with Lu Hang for first place in the list of sect experts. His strength was not weak, his PK videos were also very popular on the official website, just behind Yearning For’s own videos.

And Jing Huan had said more than once that he liked slag guys.

Then, following that train of thought, Qiufeng was exactly the type that Jing Huan liked.

…Forget it, why was he fruitlessly worrying like this.

Xiang Huaizhi was about look away when he saw that the little fox fairy was suddenly jumping all around him, using blood pools to make him go to full health.

Because they had limited time, they were doing a low level instance where they could just AFK.

[Team] Love is For You to Eat: I thought you were AFKing.

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: I am AFKing, but I’ve been keeping an eye on the game the whole time.

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: I will guard Gege’s health bar! [heart]

Xiang Huaizhi moved, lifting his hand to cancel the AFK, and with one slash of his sword, scored a critical hit against the opposing boss.

At the end of the instance, Xiang Huaizhi kicked all the other people out of the team except Xiao Tianjing, and then led them to the entrance of the arena.

[Team] Yearning For: The arena will open in 10 minutes. I’m going to go order take-out, you do what you want.

“I’m going to just AFK in the team then.” Jing Huan was also looking at take-out menus. “What take-out are you eating today, Gege?”

[Team] Yearning For: I don’t know yet. What are you eating?

“Golden Chicken Stew!” Jing Huan said, “I’ve been out for three days, and I’ve been wanting it for three days… The golden chicken stew outside our school is especially good!”

[Team] Yearning For: Really?

“En!” Jing Huan casually threw out a promise that could not be realized and squeezed out in a coquettish tone, “Whenever there’s a chance, I will invite Gege to eat some with me.”

[Team] Yearning For: No need.

Xiang Huaizhi searched for the golden chicken stew on the take-out website and quickly ordered it.

The opening time of the arena was getting closer and closer. More and more people were standing outside the arena. Jing Huan saw Love is For You To Eat and wanted to say hello to her when the chat channel on the right suddenly flew up with a server announcement.

[System Announcement: Congratulations to “Immortal Mengmeng”, a player of Illusion server, who won first place in the NCH singing competition and is directly going into the semi-finals; Congratulations to “Luo baby”, a player of Fluttering Smoke server, who won second place in the NCH singing competition…]

[Megaphone] Ji Xiaonian: Congratulations to Xianxian, Xianxian’s so cool~

[Megaphone] Say You Like Me: Xianxian is the only player in our server to enter the semi-finals. Everyone remember to go to the website to cheer her on!

[Megaphone] Dian Dian ya: It’s only to be expected, after all, Xianxian has real ability, which is different from some people who are opportunistic and seek praise by making fun of others.

[Megaphone] Immortal Mengmeng: Don’t say it like that, Diandian. After all, being funny is a kind of strength. Thank you for all your praise and support. I will try my best to help the server get back to first place~ [pats head]

When Love is For You To Eat saw these megaphones, she couldn’t help but curse inwardly, these vague posters.

She opened Xiao Tianjing’s chat box, wanting to give her a few words of comfort.

[Megaphone] Xiao Tianjing: Don’t need no man or drama, don’t @me.

[Megaphone] Long Road Ahead: That’s right, if we let our family’s Xiao Jingjing take the stage again, we’d have to start charging fees!

Love is For You To Eat: “…”

Jing Huan really wasn’t interested in megaphone drama. People who used this kind of method to argue were just creating a scene for people to gawk at.

In the game, he preferred to speak with strength. If it wasn’t because AFKing in the team was so boring, he wouldn’t have even replied to that megaphone.

A line of yellow characters appeared on the screen, and Immortal Mengmeng set him as a private chat subject. But he had blacklisted her last time, so she couldn’t even send him a message.

Cleanly taken care of.

After entering the arena, their first few opponents weren’t strong. Jing Huan asked as he played, “Gege, why didn’t Long Road Ahead come today?”

Because they were in the PK field, Xiang Huaizhi could finally talk. He opened his mouth slightly and deliberately pressed his voice key. “He’s doing the God of War quests.”

Jing Huan was stunned. “Did he gather all the materials so quickly?”

“En.” Xiang Huaizhi asked, “When the time comes, will you come kill the God of War?”

“Yes! Definitely want to kill!” Jing Huan said excitedly, “Can Gege take me with him?

Xiang Huaizhi had originally already counted him as part of the team. Hearing him so excited, his mouth couldn’t help but quirk up. “Okay, I’ll tell you when the time comes…”

He was suddenly curious about what server Jing Huan used to play in and what sect he had played. Watching him operate, he should have also been a really powerful player.

In order to express his excitement, the little fox fairy went out of control, fluttering back and forth around him and blowing him a kiss.

This scene was seen by Qiufeng, who had just finished a match, and he was quite envious.

After all, no one could stand seeing the person who you’ve flirted with for so long but couldn’t move at all, act so attentive towards another man.

Xiang Huaizhi had bought some good potions and was about to continue queuing for new opponents, when his friend chat suddenly lit up.

[Friend] Qiufeng: God Xiang, let’s discuss something.

[Friend] Yearning For: Talk.

[Friend] Qiufeng: Can you give me your arena teammate? I’ll tell the mage in my team to go with you. The double dps will be really cool.

Xiang Huaizhi slightly frowned.

[Friend] Yearning For: You can ask her yourself.

[Friend] Qiufeng: She’s your fan. If I ask her to join me, she definitely won’t want to…

[Friend] Qiufeng: Brother, as long as you don’t enter with her, I can handle the rest.

[Friend] Qiufeng: It would be even better if you could also help me by saying a few good words. After all, right now, she only listens to you. If we got together, you’d be the best matchmaker, and I will definitely thank you very much… Oh right, aren’t you gathering enchanting pearls? Just help me, and I’ll give you one. How’s that?

It’s a real sacrifice.

[Friend] Yearning For: Not lacking any, and I have no interest in being a matchmaker.

“Gege,” Jing Huan asked doubtfully into the headset, “am I glitching? Why are you standing still? ”

“No, coming.” Xiang Huaizhi started but then strangely lost his sentence, “I may have something tomorrow, so I can’t come. Do you want me to help you find a 2v2 teammate for you?”

“Ah, no, I don’t want to play 2v2 with others. If you’re not here, I’ll play 1v1 myself.”

This was of course a reason that Jing Huan had embellished. The real reason was that he had bad equipment but a high ranking. With Yearning For, he could slaughter the entire arena, but if he switched teammates, he would just be gifting points to his opponents. If he was just going to be abandoned by his teammates, it was just better to not fight.

Jing Huan ate another a mouthful of rice. “What’s Gege going to do tomorrow?”

Nothing came out of his earphones for awhile but then he heard the other say, “I’m going out to eat.”

He didn’t know if he was just imagining things, but he kept feeling like Yearning For’s voice was a little strange today.

However, Jing Huan didn’t take it to heart. He said, “Oh,” and focused on the new round of PK.

After they finished in the arena, Yearning For didn’t rush to disband the team like usual. Instead, he took him through the teleportation portal and then they arrived at the Unknown Realm.

The Unknown Realm was a safe area. It was a place to run errands and buy clothes. You couldn’t set up a stall here, but a lot of players liked to afk here.

After walking two steps, Jing Huan saw Immortal Mengmeng standing beside an Unknown Realm merchant, chatting with all her little sisters.

Jing Huan looked at the names of the female players around her and couldn’t help but curse “fucking hell” in his heart. They were all the players he had just seen blasting megaphones.

The girls who were just chatting so happily fell silent as soon as they saw him and Yearning For. It was obvious from a glance that they were now all privately chatting.

…It was simply a big awkward scene.

Yearning For led him in front of Immortal Mengmeng and stopped for a few minutes.

Jing Huan couldn’t help asking, “Gege, what are we doing here…”

Before he finished asking, he saw a yellow line of text appear in the game.

[Yearning For gave you Opportunity Stone X100]

Jing Huan: “?”

[Team] Yearning For: Open it.

—

Juurensha: Wooo XHZ, just slapping immortal mengmeng’s face right in front of her

Divi: Notice how he immediately starts faceslapping Immortal Mengmeng after he figures out who Huanhuan was??

And the lovely xAI_ICE created a gif of Huanhuan saying Gege here