Chapter 170: Fate
As the words escaped her lips, Agnes knew she shouldn't have said them. Although she didn't know this guy, she was pretty sure he was the type of man who wouldn't rest if his curiosity was piqued.
"What is it?" he asked immediately, even though she asked to postpone it for now.
"I'll tell you some other day when it's more relevant," Agnes said, floating over the water lazily.
"If you're sure about it," he returned with a dismissive tone. "Anyway, I have been meaning to ask, you mentioned the Void path is restrictive by the system… and people tend to go mad if they are involved regularly with void energy…"
Agnes had told him most of what she knew—which wasn't really much, but still something, considering this fella was mostly clueless about the power he was wielding.
"Is that a roundabout way of telling me you're growing mad?" she said as a joke. However, he didn't expect him to be silent for an extended moment. Was he really growing mad?
"I was just wondering what about void energy would make one mad?" he said after a while.
"Hell, if I know," Agnes said. Her knowledge was limited. The information didn't come easily on the topics of paths and fate marks, especially for lower rankers like themselves. She only learned this much because she had access to a complete path.
"The only conjecture I can make is that is about the nature of the energy. For example, my Darkness power makes…" she searched for the right word for it, and couldn't. So supplied the one that came to her mind. "… hungry. It's not just for some spiritual aura, energy or sustenance… it has a huge impact on my emotions. I cannot explain it in words… it's kind of like more resonate with strong emotions…"
It doesn't reduce emotions, but amplifies them. The stronger the emotions, the higher the amplification. Agnes didn't add that part. Ironically, it was this thing about her power which bought her here in the first place. She smiled ruefully, remembering Dave… the boy she wasted, surging with overwhelming raw emotions.
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She was very young at that time, only a couple of years and sometime into her power… even less with her [Stillborn Phoenix] path. Unable to control the raw emotions that surged to her core, Agnes's power had run rampant and somehow caused Dave's mind to twist…
She didn't kill him… however, what she did ruined his life. Dave had committed suicide within a couple of weeks of the event.
And here she was…
Where she would be if she hadn't made that accident? Where she would be if she hadn't run from Iman? Even now she didn't have a full grasp over her emotions while wielding the power. It was so tyrannical at times. She cut that line of thought as Warden asked her again.
"This is something I haven't thought about," Warden said deeply. She knew this voice though only heard it a few times. She could see him frowning in all seriousness, even though a wall of darkness blocked her view. "I know the theory… like one's emotions and psyche shaping their power or the other way around if the person isn't strong enough and lets the power twist his psyche.
Hmm, I think I have seen some signs of that in a few of my students already."
"How does the void energy impact your emotions?" Agnes asked.
"That's the catch, it doesn't," Warden said. "I mean, I'm rash at times, but I think that's me problem, not led by the power I'm wielding."
It was weird to find someone who was aware of their fault and still not working on improving it. Then again, how do you work on not being rash, other than making stupid mistakes and reflecting on it?
Well, it was not like Agnes could judge. She had made decisions she wasn't proud of and most of them came out of rashness.
"What do you feel when you wield the power?" she asked.
"Nothing."
"Nothing?" she frowned.
"Yup, nothing, an absence of all emotions… a void, I must add," he said. "There's only a certain coldness, but that's it… No rumbling of madness or being high on power." After a thought, he added, "Although I do have this urge of becoming stronger… but I think that's very individualistic as well."
"That's the thing with paths," she said. "My mast—, a person I know once said… Those with a path cannot help but advance forward as if lead by some unseen force… or an ancient will."
"Others call it fate, isn't it?" Warden laughed.
"I don't believe in fate," she said impatiently. "Or predestined destiny or whatever it is called."
"I acknowledge its presence, but I don't really think about it," he said. "Perhaps that is what I'm doing wrong?" She heard him clicking his tongue. "Just think of it as the collective sum of all your actions leading to an outcome... nothing is predetermined... People just hyped it up as something grand for no reason."
A sum of all your actions leading to an outcome? Agnes frowned. Isn't it basically saying you reap what you sow?
Still, it sounded better to her ears compared to when others use fate as an excuse for all the cruel things they do.
"I need to discuss this with June," Warden mumbled to himself. June was probably the girl he liked. "She's far more knowledgeable than me and better at reasoning." he cleared his throat. "Anyway, captain, thank you for all the information. I'll try to repair your equipment before I have to leave."
"Don't worry about it," she said, even though she would need them on the next mission. Something tells her it would still be related to that essence vein, and it would be very soon.
"Don't be shy to ask anything of me," he said as he began to get off the water. "We are friends, aren't we?"
Agnes straightened on that notion. "Sure," she said, keeping her voice steady. "I might find you for a spar the next time I'm back in the main camp."