Heretical Fishing

Book 2: Chapter 44: Insubordination

“What about the lemon trees?” I asked as we traveled across the sand at an infuriatingly slow pace. “Did they germinate? How many?”

Leroy swallowed his bite of the leftover pastry I’d given him before grimacing my way.

“I have my suspicions, but I don’t want to find out what Claws would do if I ruined the surprise—she’s chaos incarnate.”

Maria giggled, covering her mouth.

“Probably a safe move—we’ll just have to wait and see.”

“You can go on without me,” Leroy said. “I’m still reeling from last night.”

My body wanted to take him up on his offer, to sprint across the sands and see what had happened to the trees, but I fought it down.

“Nah, mate. We’re happy to wait for you.”

“I understand your pain,” Maria said, wincing. “That was me only a half hour ago.”

“I hope it only takes me a half hour to feel better. What happened last night?”

“Well,” I said, grinning at him. “Last I saw of you, Barbara was cradling you in her arms like a newborn.”

“Good gods—I passed out?”

“Oh, no—you were very much awake. You were making up a song about someone named Trent? I don’t know what that bloke did to you, but your drunk self was not a fan. Your wife was trying to cover your mouth, but you just kept belting out lines. It was quite impressive, really.”

Leroy blanched as he blinked at me.

I roared with laughter.

“Yeah, mate—it was as bad as it sounds. Barry’s rum certainly makes for interesting feasts, if nothing else.”

“I can’t believe I missed that!” Maria said, the color in her face mostly returned.

“Wait, what happened to you?” Leroy asked, peering at her from beneath a hand that shielded his face from the sun.

“I may or may not have blacked out and needed to be showered by Ruby.”

Leroy started laughing, then immediately stopped, hunching down and holding his head.

“Dionysus’s cursed grapes—when does it get better?”

“Soon, mate. Just keep munching that pastry and you’ll be right as rain before you know it.”

Soon after, we stepped from the harsh late-morning sun and into the shade of the forest’s canopy.

Leroy let out a sigh of relief.

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“Thank the gods—that’s much better.”

The air was cool, almost sweet, and I breathed deep of its moisture. So did Leroy and Maria—the former’s posture immediately lost some of the tension it held. We walked in silence, and while I couldn’t speak for the other two, my thoughts were consumed by what we’d find when we arrived in the clearing. As we got close to it, a strange sound rolled out over the ford floor to greet us.

“What is that?” Maria asked, cocking her head to the side.

I knew what it was, and when I spun toward Leroy, he gave me a knowing smile.

“You recognize the sound, don’t you?”

“Yeah...” I answered. “But why are they there?”

“What is it?” Maria asked.

I turned to her, my eyebrows knitted in thought.

“Bees... and lots of them.”

***

Corporal Claws, mistress of the pond, fuzziest of Fischer’s animals, and protector of the forest gazed out with pride at the lemon-peppered trees before her.

Her master had given her a task, and as was her prerogative, she fulfilled it exceptionally. There was only a moment of shock when arriving this morning and finding ripe lemons covering each of the citrus trees—an undeniable sense of superiority had quickly swept it away.

Of course the lemons had grown. If anything, it was surprising that it took them so long to grow—such was her general efficacy. She’d dashed to the blue-tinted trunk immediately and patted it, just as she pictured her master would. It was important that she reward her subordinates for their successes, and Claws was nothing if not a benevolent leader.

She had coo’d her approval, rubbing its rough bark even harder. The tree’s canopy shimmied in delight, and Claws shimmied back, emulating the movement. As one, they danced their delight, one cooing, the other shaking her leaves.

After a suitably long boogie, Claws had set off to find Leroy. As much as she wanted to go fetch her master immediately, it wouldn’t have been right to exclude her other subordinate. She woke him from a drunken stupor and sent him off to get Fischer.

Now that she stood in the clearing beneath the shade of a lemon tree, she nodded at her own actions. It was good to delegate; it both let subordinates feel useful and reminded them of their place. Now that Fischer was no-doubt on the way, she began practicing poses—she wanted to project capability when her master arrived to find her work.

When Fischer stepped out into the clearing, trailed by Maria and Leroy, all of their eyes went wide. As much as she wanted to run to her master and receive praise, Claws stood firm, leaning against the trunk casually as if to say: oh, these lemon trees? I guess they’re kinda cool.

Her body physically shook as an urge to appear nonchalant warred with a desire for scritches. After less than the span of a single breath, she could hold on no longer. Lightning erupted from her legs and she flew across the clearing, mouth wide and a shrill chirp tearing from her throat.

***

Lured along by the increasingly loud buzz of bees, we burst into the clearing. As I took in the scene before me, my legs froze. Maria took a sharp intake of breath, covering her mouth with one hand. Leroy took a half-step forward.

“Are they...?”

I had hoped—prayed—that we would find the lemon seeds germinated when we arrived. A small part of me dared to dream that they’d grown into stalks, perhaps even saplings, but given how unlikely that was, the rest of my consciousness had suppressed it. What I hadn’t dared to consider, even in my wildest dreams, was that they would be grown-ass trees. An unfathomable amount of insects flew around their canopies, flitting from flower to flower. Nestled amongst the swarming pollinators and dainty white flowers, dozens of yellow fruit hung, so full of juice that they weighed the branches down.

“Yeah...” I swallowed, unbelieving of what I saw. “They’re lemo—oof!”

Distracted as I was by the scene of beautiful chaos, I hadn’t noticed Claws’s approach until it was too late. She slammed into me with a wide grin and a shrill chirp. I flew backward, Claws clutched to my chest so I wouldn’t fall on and hurt her. Maria caught us, and rather than let us go, she held on tight, pulling us both into a hug. It was an objectively emasculating gesture for such a slight woman to be holding me upright, but I found I didn’t hate it—it was weirdly comforting.

I hope this doesn’t awaken something in me... I thought, my forehead furrowing.

“Claws,” Maria said, completely unaware of my inner dilemma. “Did you do this?”

She chirped in the affirmative, spinning to cast a needle-sharp grin over my shoulder.

“What... what did you do?” I asked, my voice faint.

Before Claws could respond, a root flew from the ground and, at incredible speed, flicked her right in the middle of her forehead.

Claws’s head rocked back. She blinked, then fury bloomed in her eyes. She shot from me with lightning fueling her passage, rocketing for the blue-barked tree in the center of the clearing. She slammed into it with her head, and the lightning wreathing her drained away. I felt it go into the tree and circulate within.

Claws put one forepaw on her hip, pointed the other directly at the tree, and unleashed a verbal barrage of chirps, chittering, and hisses. The tree shook its leaves in response, and I got the sense it was arguing back. They chirped and shook back and forth, their debate continuing at a rapid-fire pace.

“What are they saying...?” Leroy asked, cocking his head as their row intensified.

“I think the tree—or the spirit within it, to be more precise—is upset that Claws took all the credit.”

The tree had raised a thick root from the earth, and it poked Claws in the chest. Claws poked it back. Then, the cat-fight began. Poking turned to striking, and before I knew it, they were wrestling on the ground. The root coiled around Claws, and she wrapped her limbs around it, biting its base between her needle teeth and kicking out with her back legs.

“Whoa, whoa!” I said, jogging over before it could get too violent. I gripped the root at its base. The spirit tried to retract the root, but I held on tight.

“Let go, both of you. Don’t look at me like that, Claws—I don’t care who started it, missy! Let go.”

She did so, as did the spirit, and just as they separated, Claws slapped it one more time. The tree vibrated in indignation and also lashed out; a root slapped Claws right on the rump before she could get out of range. Lightning erupted from her limbs and she flew for it, but right as the fight was about to start anew, I gripped claws by the loose skin on the back of her neck. I held her up and planted my foot on the root’s base, holding them both in place.

“That’s enough. You both got one more hit in.”

Claws took a deep breath before hissing it out through clenched teeth. The tree seemed to as well, its branches swaying out and retracting in.

“You brought the food here for our tree pal, right Claws?”

She puffed her chest out and chirped with pride, which looked hilarious considering I still held her up like a newborn kitten.

“And you,” I continued, pointing at the tree. “You used the food to grow the lemons, correct?”

The root beneath me nodded vehemently.

“Right—so you both did it. Agreed?”

Claws crossed her arms—so did the tree by sprouting two little tendrils from its root.

“Ladies...” I knelt down so I was eye to eye with the root—well, where its eyes would be if it had them. “You’ve both done something amazing here, and I can’t properly appreciate it until you stop fighting. Can you do that for me, Claws?”

She glared at me defiantly.

“... please?”

All at once, the raging bonfire in her eyes reduced to an ember and she let out an apologetic chirp. In response, the root uncrossed its, well, roots, and nodded, copying her movement. I smiled between both of them, feeling genuine relief. I pulled Claws into a hug, cradling her into my arms to apologize for holding her by the scruff.

“Unbelievable...” Maria said, walking over to us with hesitant steps. “The tree...?”

I shrugged.

“Looks like it, yeah. It’s as sapient as they come.”

Leroy stepped past us and laid a hand on its sturdy trunk. The root turned to face him, cocking its makeshift head as it took him in.

“It... no, sorry, she—you’re a female, right?” he asked the root.

My eyes narrowed; I’d said ladies, but hadn’t realized it until Leroy pointed it out. As with my animal pals, I had a sense of her gender. The root—she—nodded, and Leroy turned to me.

“She has expanded her bounds. Can you feel it?”

Confusion crossed my face, and I closed my eyes. I felt the waves of energy flowing around me, and just as Leroy had said, they swept outward, going to...

My eyes shot open.

“You took over the lemon trees?”

The tree made a kind of gesture.

“I think it’s more accurate to say she joined them.” Leroy walked over and touched one of their trunks. “I can feel a sort of awareness within each tree... they’re unique, as if they were each a different person.”

The root nodded.

“Unreal...” I said, walking over to stand beneath one of the lemon trees.

They were squat and nowhere near as tall as the blue-barked tree, yet I could still stand at my full height beneath them. From below, the hum of the pollinators was even louder, and I closed my eyes for a moment, letting the symphony wash over me. The remnants of a breeze flew beneath the forest canopy, and the cool, humid air swept across my skin, sending a pleasant chill through me. Maria slipped an arm around my waist, and we stood there for a long moment, both just enjoying existence.

When I opened my eyes, Maria was gazing up. I joined her in staring at the juicy, fat lemon hanging just above us. I raised a hand to cup it, then turned to the root still extended from the earth.

“Can I pick it?”

The root’s posture turned flummoxed, and the leaves of its main tree shook in what I took as humor. The root nodded, holding where its stomach would be in the approximation of a belly laugh. I smirked at it before returning my attention to the lemon. With a single tug, it came free.

“It’s so big...” Maria said.

“No kidding.” I squeezed the grape-fruit sized citrus. “These are even bigger than the genetically modified ones from back home.”

“They’re almost too big.” She stepped closer, peering down. “How are you gonna use all of it? It’ll taste too sour if you use all that juice in a single dish, right?”

“Huh...” I said, squinting at the lemon.

Maria arched a brow at me.

“What’s up?”

“You just gave me a fantastic idea...”