Heretical Fishing

Book 3: Chapter 44: Ambush Predators

Deep within the forest to the west of my property, light streamed down through the canopy. A pleasant breeze flowed past the trees, bringing with it the scents of wet grass, pollen, and something indescribably sweet. I had spent the waking hours with my girlfriend, and we were currently doing a little side quest before going to Tropica and getting Sue’s deadly coffee-and-croissant combo.

It was, by all measurable metrics, a pleasant morning. Well, if one was to ignore the one-tonne creature currently sleeping off a predawn snack, that is.

“Fischer…” Maria whispered, leaning toward me.

“Yeah?”

She opened her mouth to respond, but paused, her finger swirling before her as if the movement might help divine the correct words to use. Eventually, it worked. “What the frack is that?” she blurted, gesturing at the creature with both hands.

“That, my love, is a bear.”

The massive beast had its belly pressed to the ground and buried the vulnerable parts of its head under both of its massive arms. The poor bees were waging a full-on war against their honey-stealing foe. For all their efforts, the bear was having a cheeky little nap, relying on its thick fur and thicker skin to keep them away.

Maria gaped for a long moment before responding. “Is it… I don’t know. Ascended? A spirit beast? Already a god?”

“Nope. Just a regular bear.”

I rubbed my chin. “That’s valid. It’s pretty bloody big.”

“So it is a spirit beast?”

“What? No. It’s big, but still a regular ol’ bear. It’s not even close to ascension.”

Claws and Snips had been slowly creeping forward, getting closer to it one step at a time. I couldn’t see their eyes from my position, but I knew for a fact that they would be sparkling with curiosity.

“You’ve never seen a bear?” I asked.

“No. I’ve heard about them, though. Dad said he saw plenty of them when he was off at war.”

“Did people call them big?”

“Well, yeah, but when your dad gets drunk and tells you there are creatures as big as a cart, you don’t really believe him. And even if you do…”

“Seeing is different from believing,” I finished.

“Yeah…”

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Claws and Snips were right beside the creature now, leaning as close as they could without drawing the bees’ ire. As I focused on the attacking insects again, I noticed an intruder. When I squinted at the larger specimen, it waved at me, and a moment later, came to buzz before my face. Seven more of them came, likely the ones sent to guard this area of the forest.

“Fellas,” I said, “why didn’t you tell me that there was a whole-ass bear out here disturbing the peace?”

The small collection of Buzzy Boys made a confused tone with their wings.

“What? You didn’t see it as a threat?”

They made an affirmative buzz, some hanging their heads in shame.

“Huh. I guess you have a point. Would you have done something about it if it became a threat?”

Yes, they buzzed again confidently.

“All right. This one is on me. New orders: if you come across any beings, human or creature, that could threaten the life of a regular human, you come let me know, okay?”

They nodded, saluted, and three of them split off.

“Wait!” I called before they could get too far away. “Tell Barry. Not me. Only let me know if you can’t find any of the senior congregation or an animal pal to inform.”

They saluted again and split off, going to relay the order.

“Those are some good boys,” Maria said.

“I know, right? Don’t know what we’d do without them.”

I caught swift movement in the corner of my eye, and with my enhanced speed, I was able to turn toward the bear in time to see Claws smack its ear.

“Claws! What the—”

A mighty growl cut me off as the bear lifted its head and sniffed the air. Before its eyes even opened, it reached a paw over and dipped it into the exposed honeycomb. The claw tore through it like tissue paper, and the honey covered limb drifted back to its mouth, the bear still not deigning to open its eyes as it lapped at its paw.

I felt a pang of regret for the bees. They’d put so much hard work into their hive, and the bear was so easily destroying it. It was a fanciful thought though, because that was just the way of the world. Predators have to eat too, and I imagine I’d be doing the exact same thing in the bear’s position. Still, it was hard not to feel sorry for them.

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While I wasted time considering the moral quandaries of creatures with no concept of human sensibilities, the bear finally opened his eyes. His gaze drifted our way but seemed to look right through us. He licked up every drop of honey from his paw, and just as he was about to reach back in for more, it froze.

He blinked at us, his eyes finally focusing.

“Don’t hurt it, Claws. Even if it attacks,” I said.

She spun to face me, giving a surprisingly human look that said, well, duh.

“That includes slapping, Claws!” Maria chided, crossing her arms.

I expected the bear to lash out with how close Snips and Claws were, but he slowly got to his feet, ignoring both Claws and Snips, instead staring at Maria and me. He dipped a paw toward the open hive once again, making me genuinely respect the thing’s audacity. He scooped up a massive clump of comb, placed it on the ground between us, and started backing away.

Never once taking his eyes from us, he nudged the offering closer before continuing his careful retreat. The swarming bees were completely ignored, all of his attention reserved for us. When he got far enough away, he turned and fled, moving with more grace than I expected such a creature to possess.

Claws watched him go, her body-language screaming that she wanted to give chase. When his footsteps had receded from our range of hearing, she turned on me, her eyes fierce.

Friend! she chirped, pointing with both forepaws in the direction the bear had fled.

“You want the bear as an animal pal?” I asked.

“Then why did you slap him?” Maria demanded, her voice not so much disappointed as genuinely confused.

She made no noise, instead shrugging at Maria then nodding her head at me, so fast that I worried she might take off.

I put on a conspiratorial face. “I don’t know, Maria. What do you think? Should we befriend this bear?”

Her eyes sparkled with amusement when they met mine. “Gee, I don’t know, Fischer. It might be a bit dangerous. He was a really big bear.”

Claws screeched, denying the fact.

“I’m sorry, Claws,” I said, making my lips form a line to hide my smile. “It might be too risky, you know? And what about all the food he would need? He might eat as much fish as we catch in a day!”

She pointed at her chest, declaring that she would handle it.

Snips came up beside Claws and patted her on the back. Blowing bubbles of apology, she shook her carapace, only the twinkle in her eye giving away her understanding of the farce.

Claws’s little head darted between us all, despair creeping over her face. She took a half-step toward me, her mouth down-turned and eyes welling with tears. It was too much for me, and just when I was about to cancel the whole act, Maria dashed forward.

“Kidding! We were kidding!” She swept Claws into her arms. “Please stop looking at us like that! I’ll get you two bear friends if you like!”

Claws sniffed and covered her face with both two paws, her body shaking as she started to... hang on a second.

A choked chittering came from her, and though she tried to hide her smile, I couldn’t miss the gleam of her needle-sharp pearls.

“We’ve been had, Maria.”

“Claws!” Maria held her overhead, which did nothing to diminish the trilling laughter now coming from the otter.

Claws raised her forearms toward the sky, booming with victorious giggles at having tricked us.

“Yes, yes.” Maria sighed. “Your mischief is unmatched. You win this round.”

Claws nodded as Maria set her back down, preening with pride.

“Okay,” I said, stepping forward to rub behind Claws’s ear. “Jokes aside, we’ll have to do it right. We can’t catch and force him to ascend, but if we can make something tasty enough for him to eat that gives him enough chi, I’ll happily accept him into our little family.”

“Especially with how polite he is,” Maria added, pointing at the honeycomb he’d pushed toward us. “If I didn’t know better I’d assume he was already most of the way toward ascension.”

“Yeah. He’s a pretty smart fella. Kinda like the drop bears we used to get back home.”

“Drop bears? What are those?”

“Nasty things. They’re ambush predators closely related to the koala bear. They hide in trees and drop on top of people when they walk underneath.”

Maria spun to stare where the bear had gone, then slowly turned back toward me. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

“Afraid not. If you ever go to Australia, keep your eyes on the treetops.”

She shivered. “I’m fine here thanks.”

“Clever girl. But yeah, the bear is clever. As far as I can tell, him pushing the honeycomb our way wasn’t so much an offering as it was a distraction for his escape.”

Maria peered up at the surrounding treetops, keeping her peepers peeled for any would-be ambush bears. When she saw nothing, she turned her beautiful smile my way. “I seem to recall being promised a full breakfast from Tropica’s finest bakery.”

I grinned at her. “Of course, my lady. Snips, would you mind covering up the hive as best you can without hurting the hive? I’d hate if they weren’t able to recover from this.”

She blew resolute bubbles and snapped a crisp salute before whirling, scuttling closer, and assessing the damage with a keen eye. Claws dashed up too, apparently intent on helping.

“Shall we?” I asked, holding my arm out toward Maria.

She closed the distance with a hop, looped her elbow through mine, and got on her tippy toes to plant a peck on my cheek.

Despite this morning’s events, that small contact of her lips made my heart flutter as if it was the first time she’d deigned to kiss me. Arm in arm, we wandered off toward Tropica, leaving our animal pals behind to secure the beehive.

***

Deeper within the forest, a large creature ran for its very life. Though it traveled near full speed, its steps were almost silent, telling of a life spent keenly aware of its position in the food chain.

Another bear of its species might assume it was an apex predator. Might assume that given its size, there was nothing and no one in these lands that could hope to match its power. This creature, for better or worse, knew better.

That surety urged it on, fueling its flight from the two-legged adversaries. Their posture, their very stances, were just the same as the first and last time he’d encountered such beings.

It was long ago, and though he was just a cub at the time, the memories would never fade.

The Images flashed through his mind. Their feigned weakness. The ambush. The flames. The sharpened sticks. The way their faces shifted, revealing their odd-shaped teeth. His mother...

The thoughts became too painful, so he pushed them away.

Before long, he came to the entrance of his den. Sparing one last glance back into the forest, he crawled within, winding his way down into the narrow gap between rocks. There, he rested, both happy he’d managed to find a hive and disappointed that he’d had to abandon it.