How-not to be an Olympian God!

Once again, life turned mundane.

He would spend his days with Crista, whom he now considered a close friend, and visit Athena when she invited him to her tower, which has become quite a regular occurrence, sort of like he was going to school.

Hermes, however, wasn't able to visit as he was stuck in a place with political turmoil, according to his letters and it seemed they weren't going to see each other anytime soon.

While he was writing, he noticed he had no more ink.

He also heard the sound of footsteps entering his room. It was Crista, with a light frown on her face and an expression that spelt something troublesome.

"What's the matter?" He asked her.

"We ran out of scrolls, f***ing hell!" As she spoke, she hit the door with her fist.

"Me too, but don't take it out on my room!" Alex could see a small dent in his once intact door, his aestheticism made him sensitive to small changes, and he often got angry at such details.

"Why, what are you going to do?" Crista looked at him with a provoking expression and bent her knees and put out her fists, seemingly in a fighting position.

Alex also did the same, and she charged at him and they both struck out a fist at the other.

And the battle ended with that fist, and the two 'opponents' simultaneously stating with a surprised expression "Strong"

They then both laughed and Alex rubbed his head and said "So? What are we going to do?"

"I need to go down to Olep to purchase more scrolls. So troublesome!" She stated that, sighed heavily and then turned around and walked away.

"I guess I'll go with you?" Alex asked her.

She turned to face and responded with a playful face "Then the last to get ready will be paying for everything"

As soon as she said that, she sprinted to her room.

'What a cheater, she even got a head start!' Alex thought frustratingly.

But he wasn't exactly at a disadvantage, essentially having a swiftness specialty. He completed his hygienic rituals, dressed himself and got his pouch.

When he charged to the entrance of the estate, he didn't find anyone, indicating that he won the context.

"Phew!" Alex was relieved. Let's just say the expenses incurred during his trip to Abdera didn't leave much behind in his monetary ownings...

After a few seconds of just standing there, he heard a crashing sound and looked behind, to see that Crista jumped from the upper floor to the entrance hall and was looking at him both with a dejected and surprised expression.

This chapter upload first at NovelUsb.Com

"I even ran so fast. No fair! You're a god." She said with an annoyed expression, but she also mumbled while giggling to herself "To be fair, right now you would be a lesser god of the lesser gods though"

Alex wasn't going to back down, so he responded "And you're a nymph, not even an immortal. Who is't gives thee the right to speaketh to me in such a tone?!"

He was emulating a type of formal Greek that they read in this philosophy scroll. It became quite the insider joke amongst them as they mocked the fact that the author tried to back up his weak arguments with superfluous language to sound more noble.

"Let's stop with that joke, it's becoming a bit bland, like the food you make." Crista tried speaking the sentence in a serious tone but she cracked and started laughing out loud as soon as she finished it and put her hand to her chest as she could not stop laughing.

'I'll show her what's bland!' Alex thought resolutely to himself.

The two then quit the estate and walked down the stairs, speaking about mundane matters and appeasing to the god of silence when there wasn't much to speak about.

And just like that, they reached the Central Plaza of Olympus, signifying the start of his revenge plan.

These two really did feel like children around each other.

Remembering the first time he came here, he had met Dionysus who showed him a rather peculiar way of climbing down the mountain range.

Although in these 2 months the snow around the mountains has reduces a bit, there was still enough to make for a slippery ride down, and he was planning to do exactly that to Crista.

Alex took the lead and hinted for her to follow him and they made their way to the steep snowy cliff.

"You see, from this place, you can see the entirety of Olep.....Bla....Bla...Bla" He started spouting some nonsense about the city to lower her guard, and she was nodding, unaware of what was going to happen.

"By the way, Crista, nymphs don't die easily, right?" Alex asked with a cunning smile in his mind.

She looked at him incredulously and stated "What an odd question? That is, in fact, true. Nymphs boast the highest vitality among mortal beings, allowing us to maintain not only our youthful attributes for a very long time, but also heal from illness and injury very well"

"If that's the case, then don't mind this!" Alex exclaimed and pushed her down the steep hill.

Crista, feeling her body uncontrollably sliding down the hill at lightning-fast speed, turned around and glared at him, mouthing something that Alex couldn't hear.

'Anyways' Alex shrugged and jumped too, albeit controlling his body and sliding down like he was riding a skateboard.

Due to him controlling the trajectory and speed of his descent, he soon found himself next to Crista, who had nowhere near that level of control and was almost rag-dolling down the hill.

When she saw him, she screamed with a hoarse voice "Bastard! I'm going to kill you!"

Alex ignored her and said carelessly "Care to take my hand? I'll show you how to go down!"

She glared at him with looks that could kill but she ended up putting her hand out, which Alex took and helped her stand up.

Now, hand-in-hand, the two were sliding down and even though she still had a frown, her lips were slightly raised and she looked like she was similarly having fun.

"You got the hang of it, now?" Alex questioned her.

"F***ing YES!" She reminded him of the feeling one gets when driving a fast car, at least, what he supposed it would feel like, as he never got his driver's license.....

Crista now let go of his hand and despite being a bit unstable on her feet, she was barely able to balance herself and keep her body upright.

A few minutes following this, the two would feel the speed of their descent slowing as the steep ground turned flatter and the snow started to dissipate, instead replaced by woodlands.

When they stopped, the two looked at each other with glowing eyes and stood like that in silence, but when both realized they were staring at each other without saying anything, they each turned their eyes away anxiously, and she broke the awkward silence with an unusually weak tone.

"U-umm, so that was...fun, but NEXT EFFING TIME, I'll smite your soul if you take me by surprise like that"

Nevermind, there was no weak tone whatsoever and it was just Crista being Crista.

They then proceeded through the forest smoothly, meeting no Cyclope wolf monster this time, fortunately and advancing until they found themselves inside the dense metropolis, surrounded on all directions by brick-buildings.

There was apparently a marketplace to the north.

Prior to that, however, he asked something that was on his mind since they left their estate.

"Umm, Crista, do you have enough m-money?" Alex brought his own remaining coins with him in case.

"Of course I do. Actually, I've become quite rich from the time of my adventures in the mortal realm back when I was young" She stated.

He got a bit curious hearing that, but he didn't probe any further. Nonetheless, she uncovered his curiosity and kept explaining.

"Basically, when that b*tch committed genocide to my people, she had me officially become her attendant. However, as you might know, her evil powers usually don't work on women, so she didn't wish to have an attendant who could not only disobey her, but also one that held hatred towards her. That meant that I was effectively abandoned, but it didn't bother me too much not to be around that f***ing b*tch, so I chose to travel the world instead. I became a traveling musician and trader, and in the almost 4 decades I've lived that lifestyle, I quietly accumulated a small fortune." Crista explained her life situation while they were walking towards the marketplace, and she looked a bit strained when she was speaking about her sisters, to which Alex tried to dissuade her from continuing but she simply raised her hand to signify it was alright and resumed her speech.

Alex also wanted to speak about himself, but he needed to use a language which would be comprehensible by a resident of this era.

"In my home, since young, every child goes to an educational institute that they usually spend the years ranging from their childhood to the end of their adolescence in, learning educational matters, sort of like me going to Athena's place. And then when I finished it, funnily enough, to start earning money I needed to spend another few years in another kind of school, a harder school. Only then could you say that your life really started!" Using simple language to decipher his life, even he found it weird.

"So you're like the Spartans, but instead of learning about war and battle, you learn about books? Your home is a weird place. You finish education...to do more education?" She seemed dumbfounded and looked to find it really comical.

"Ironic, isn't it?" Alex shrugged and sighed, really perplexed at how he could have spent more than 90% of his current age in some sort of 'school'.

Once again, the two had nothing much to speak about. They walked silently through the crowd and reached their destination, the city's bazaar.

It was extremely crowded and the bodies of the people clashing against each other in the narrow alleys didn't do much to help with the spring heat, making it hard to breathe.

Strangely though, while Alex and Crista were advancing, they heard someone scream "Isn't that Alex, the Nightmare Slayer?" All the while pointing at him.

The crowd then parted to form a circle around the embarrassed Alex and they were whispering to each other.

"Wait, are you famous?" Crista asked him, shocked at the sudden predicament they were in.

Alex nodded and explained what was happening to her as they were being given incredible discounts by traders who were surrounding them.

"If I knew this, I'd have killed a monster or two back then!" She mumbled to herself while clenching her fists.

Alex was a bit embarrassed and stood still, as he didn't quite appreciate being the center of attention.

Fortunately though, Crista, being more extraverted than him, took the situation at hand and used that to their advantage by stating "Yes, it is in fact, him, the Nightmare Slayer. We have come in search for scrolls and materials of writing, if any of you can offer that."

Alex was relieved and thanked his friend in his mind.

The crowd was wondering amongst themselves but a middle-aged man entered the empty circle and took out an old-looking scroll and an inkstone from his pouch.

He then started speaking eloquently "You have found the right one, Lord and Lady. This scroll was found in a tomb in Memphis, and was used by the gods of Egypt in the past. It is a truly special scroll and I am willing to sell it to you heroes for only 15 gold coins"

Crista looked at the man with glowing eyes and listened to his explanation while nodding fervently and putting her hand on her pouch like she was ready to give up her life savings for this.

Alex shook his head. This man was very clearly a seasoned salesman, as he used flattery, a so-called history and the allure of discounts to trap potential clients into buying defective products.

Alex examined the 'scroll of the gods' with his Item Appraisal and it was in fact, just an old scroll that would tear if the writing feather was even slightly sharp and the ink would soak the paper that was so old even the cellulose in it probably broke down.

He shook his head and whispered his insights to Crista, who looked dejected but trusted his words and they advanced, going smoothly this time as the crowd parted to form a straight line for them.

After searching for an hour or so they found a merchant who sold scrolls in relatively good quality in bulk and also writing ink.

The two paid a portion of what they would have given if they were scammed and made their way back to the estate, with their bags now full and heavy.

The hike up was a bit hard, but through cooperation they were able to make it in half the time it would take if they were alone.

When he reached Hermes' front plaza, Alex was expecting to enter home and call it a day, finishing this fun adventure but something...someone troublesome was in front of the door.

Short-tempered, aggressive, unfunny and loud brutal warfare machine, fully clad in heavy armour and holding a long spear in his hand, it was the God of War, Ares.

'What does he want?' Through some research, he found that Ares' personality wad fidel to his traits as the god of war and was equally barbaric and he dodn't want to get involved with him

"A-Alexander, you're here" Ares was sweating a bit, and he used a tone that made it sound like they were old friends. He even called his name wrong.

Alex frowned and looked at him, questioningly.

Ares then collapsed to the ground and stated anxiously "I know you have Dionysus' letter. Can you g-go to the Underworld for me!?"

'What' Alex was surprised, and hinted at the man to start from the beginning.

"I need you go to the Underworld to get me Achilles, I need strong heroes for the fight against Minos. The Minotaur is on their side and a strategy won't be enough to defeat that monster"

"Why can't you go yourself?" Alex asked with a frustrated tone.

"I have made Thanatos, God of death, really busy and if he happens to see me, I'll be dead meat. And...It would be very hard for me to enter the Underworld, as I don't have any affiliation to any of the Chthonic gods."

"Weren't you on the enemy side of Achilles in the Trojan War, where he died? Why would he help you?" After his countless hours of research with Athena, he had a grasp of most historical events.

"Even though we were enemies. Achilles is a warrior at heart, if he gets the chance to be trained by the one and only God of war, then he will forget about the past, no problem..." His arguments were really shaky and relied solely on his status as a god.

"That aside, why should I waste this precious letter on your own responsibilities?" He asked him bluntly.

Crista, who was to his side listening to their exchange, was only holding back her laughter due to Ares being a major god of Olympus and kept tugging at his shoulder.

Ares, who was only prideful when he is in a position of strength, and turns subservient when he asks for something, looked just about ready to tear up but Alex wasn't in the mood to see the crocodile tears of a murder machine.

"If I accept, then I will get 2 requests to ask of you, is that fine by you?" He formulated it like a question but it was actually a really reasonable deal.

Ares nodded fervently and as if to avoid Alex changing his mind, he screamed "DEAL" and ran off at a fast speed.

'So embarrassing' Alex thought

Crista was on the floor, laughing like a madwoman at what just transpired. By the time she stood up, she stated with a sly smile "Well, since you intruded on my peaceful visit to the city, I suppose I'll f***ing intrude on your peaceful visit to the Underworld, heh?"

'Visiting the Underworld with Crista? Sounds fun, sign me in' Alex bemused to himself. He knew the real reason she'd want to go along with him but nevertheless, he knew this would be a memorable journey.

And so, Alex was now on track to visit the Hellenic land of the dead, the Underworld.