Husband of the Goblin Tribe

Chapter Forty-five – In which Ark tends to Truffle, and Diana Artemis prepares a feast for her future sister’s arrival.

Prima was far calmer than I expected her to be, considering it was Truffle and not her. No, the one who was freaking out about the whole situation, was Stella.

She had seen Truffle before in the bath, and had most likely seen a small little pouch where my daughter was growing slowly inside of her. She could accept that, I think. I don’t think it’s been a full month yet since we’ve been captured, so it was reasonable to accept a small baby bump from a species known to reproduce fast. But Truffle, due to whatever it is that is causing these goblins to blow up like a balloon overnight, was now full term and it shocked Stella. So it was a good thing, and a bad thing once again.

I was actually looking forward to having copious amounts of sex with my sleepy-eyed mushroom-loving and now drug-using nerdy freckled goblin wife with a huge belly.

After last night’s trippy experience, I was going to be a father again.

Yes, I get daddy-days off.

I wish it could have waited two more nights to happen, but it’s happened, and so now I have to roll with it.

“Want stay Husband cave-hole!” Truffle declared.

She wanted to be here when the strong one came, and for the day or so of aftercare I would be providing. Ivory was a bit despondent hearing that, being somewhat co-dependent on Truffle. That is primarily why their cave-holes were joined during the remodel. I don’t know if there’s anything else like it among the other goblins, but those two, after teaching them the fun of oral sex, please each other from time to time when I’m not around.

Ivory declared her intent to stay as well, since Truffle said she was staying. Berry promised to help where she could, and somehow or another quite a few goblins decided to spend the whole day and night here as well. Jewel took a pass on being here for the birth this time, and Prima was grumbling about wanting someone to go with her to hunt. I had taken this opportune moment to suggest none other than Diana.

Berry was proactive with that suggestion as well, promising all kinds of berries to Prima in exchange, who then plucked Vera from our little soiree as part of the assembled hunting party. It wasn’t yet time for Orchid or Lilac to go hunting for what Prima hunted. Lily was teaching them how to hunt small game well enough already, and was going to continue doing so today as well.

Berry, Ivory, and Truffle were close friends for the most part, so it wasn’t unexpected that they would be there for each other’s births. Pear wanted to be a part of it as well.

Doll had come for breakfast, but didn’t stay for long afterwards. She had actual work to do, in the form of chopping down a tree for wood to keep the fire pit burning. It was a ward against whatever beasts were out there from daring to make a raid on the cave, so it was an important job she couldn’t shirk. I had nothing but the utmost respect for a hardworking wife when all I had to do was play the househusband.

I was loaned the ruby once more by Jewel, and Berry brought the metal pot that was my alchemy set in preparation for what was coming. There was a freshly washed rag for cleaning up the eventual gore, though where it was washed, I’m not sure if I want to know. I haven’t made the laundry room yet. And I even had a surprise visit by Toy again, who I revealed to the parties present as a newly named goblin.

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The biggest concern Truffle had was the absence of her mushrooms.

But they were mushrooms, they weren’t going to just up and walk away. Besides, Ivory had heard her roommate drone on and on about mushrooms enough to know how to take care of them if need be.

Old one had stopped by, since Prima had informed her of Truffle’s condition, and after placing a hand on Truffle’s plump belly, shook her head.

“Coming later.” To which she promptly departed after saying.

I decided now was as good a time as any, and introduced the girls who would be staying to the games of checkers and connect-four. I also provided my experimental apple-pear infused citrus-ade which Pear went absolutely bonkers over.

Failing to mention Stella for the last while, she wasn’t being treated as a stranger and an outcast. Far from it, actually. She… showed curiosity in the pregnant belly Truffle now sported, and after some communication on her behalf to my wives, easily obtained permission. Berry had brought her over personally and had let her place her hand on Truffle’s belly.

My coming daughter may be a goblin, but the pregnancies between humans and goblins share similar parallels. Stella didn’t say much, mainly because she didn’t speak any goblin at all. I didn’t either when I was first taken captive, but she wasn’t refused when she came around. Stella also got to enjoy some of the experimental lemonade, and after being taught the rules to checkers, had been playing round robin with Toy and Pear who were being a bit competitive with each other.

By the mid-day, Prima had returned with a weary-looking Vera and an absolutely beaming Diana.

“Smart goblin. Strong goblin. Good hunter.” Prima praised my eldest daughter.

They killed a fucking bear.

As Prima told the story, she had used herself as bait once they had found it. Diana was up in a tree with a long dagger after deciding the best location for Vera to make a pitfall trap with formula magic. Once Prima had gained the attention and ire of the bear by poking it in the rump with her spear, she hauled green ass past the magically booby-trapped area. Vera dropped the ground out from under the bear at just the right moment while hiding behind a bush, and Diana who was up in the tree above the pitfall jumped down onto the bear’s back, and stabbed its head pretty much to death with the long knife she used. A few jabs into the eyes and ears while leaping off of it when Prima thrust the spear she used through its throat and finished it off. Prima had to run back and find Doll in the area she chopped trees at just so they could drag it to the front of the cave.

Uhuhu, my baby killed a bear.

Furthermore, she presented me with proof of her kill.

“Husband, take.”

I was suddenly holding onto a big black bear claw. It’s not quite the burnt pastry kind you can get in a sub-par bakery. It’s the kind that mauls you to death for pissing it off. I held it up so Berry could see and gave her the most pathetic look of what should I do?

Of course, there was only one thing to do. I picked her up, hugging and praising my daughter. I knew what to do! She became a drop goblin and killed a fucking bear! Who would have thought the daughter of a sweet and kind berry picking goblin that has a horrifically traumatic scar the length of her torso would be able to do this barely weeks after being born?

Well, for starters, Berry did.

Berry had all the faith in the world in her daughter.

“Vera, topaz.”

Vera brought me the topaz stone and I put Diana down for a moment, then immediately began digging out a small open room next to Vera’s. Vera had used her sapphire bone staff to light the room temporarily in place of the topaz which had become the de facto light in the breeding room these days. It was just an open cavern-shaped area I was transmuting the wall to, but I had raised pillars from the ground inside of it and made shelves for the future as well. On the central pillar, just high enough for Diana to reach, I made a thin spike and placed the mostly de-blooded claw onto it.

“Husband, what that?” Berry asked.

“A trophy room. Our daughter brought home a worthy trophy as a hunter. I wish to see it and be proud of it whenever I want. This goes for all my daughters to come. Anything they do that is worth being proud over will be displayed here from now on. Whether it’s killing a bear, or discovering the tastiest mushroom in the forest, or a memory from saving a fellow sister in danger. This room will tell the story of our children’s achievements and strengths.”

Every goblin was silent, until Truffle said something extremely Truffle-like.

“Not able eat tastiest mushroom find?”

“Of course you can. We’ll just grow them first! We’ll put the first one up here as proof after the first batch of mushroom grown from it begins to grow!.”

I walked over to Diana and knelt down, scooping her up again and putting her up onto my shoulders, then paraded around with her saying: “Who’s my brave bear-slayer!” We roared and slapped our chests and made complete fools of ourselves in front of everyone, much to everyone’s delight. It was a very big moment for all the goblins, to welcome another proven strong hunter. I made sure to stop by Prima and give her a kiss on the cheek. She did land the killing blow as well. She deserves her own recognition for it as well. A head pat wound up as Vera’s reward.

“Stupid Husband.” Prima muttered, before squatting down to also share in touching Truffle’s stomach. I know she wanted it to be her who had the fat belly, but I have no control over how it happens, or even if I’m involved with it happening at all. For all I know it’s like popcorn with goblins. Never knowing exactly when the first kernel is going to pop, only being able to wait with baited breath until the bag continues going pop, pop, pop, until… poof!

Stella saw me parading my daughter around on my shoulders. Here I was being happy, and there she was… just watching. She had to suffer indignity, while I’m here fucking around, playing merrily with my daughter and waiting for one of my goblin wives to give me more reason to be happy. All while I stole a significant chunk of her life’s happiness in the process to do so.

I guess word got around that I had done it with Stella, and somehow she is now a tentative member of the goblin wives’ club by the look of it. I think it’s safe to say I’m an outlier here when it comes to human-goblin relations. I hope they don’t make the mistake of trusting her too much, but I also kind of do. I don’t want there to be violence, but I also wish Stella could escape. I don’t feel that she deserves the fate she’s now been saddled with.

The thing that really gets me though, is why they trusted her to stay with me, with only Vera as supervision? I don’t think I’ve earned that much trust from them, and certainly not from the Great Protector. I wonder… is it perhaps keeping an eye on this place from somewhere nearby?

Well, I don’t believe I’m wrong to subscribe to a bit of paranoia. That thing can easily kill me if it wants to. Then again, so could my mother. I’m only a second-circle magician. My mother is an eighth-circle, she could squash me like a bug easily if she wanted to, but from the feel of the magic power emanating from that thing, she would be hard pressed to even stalemate the creature. Maybe that’s why I am alive? I’m as harmless as a bug to it. Assuming I would do something to harm the goblin tribe, hypothetically that is, in all likelihood by the time I did do any significant harm, I would probably already be obliterated...