I Became the Academy’s Kibitz Villain

Humans were capable of doing anything for their own gain.

If it involved success, health, or money, they could even sell their own family.

Living in this world, we heard all sorts of stories on public news channels, but there were times when seeing atrocities made my blood boil.

This was one of those times.

[Human Bone Soup.]

It was beyond disgusting; it’s grotesque to the core.

Of course, as a villain now, with a foot in the dark world, it was only natural I encountered such things often.

But even so, facing something like this in the modern world, similar to what happened in the ancient Inca civilization or the Mayan empire, was truly unpleasant.

[You’ve gotten weak.]

Hyeon Se-rin let out a bitter laugh at the mention of Human Bone Soup.

[Goblin, sometimes I feel like you’re surprisingly less resilient in these areas. Even after that chaos in Thailand?]

[Even if the depth is the same, each time the number of cases increases, my head spins. What do you mean by weak?]

[Back in the day, it wasn’t Human Bone Soup. It was consumed in capsules. As powder.]

“Insane.”

The Thunder Emperor also spat out in disgust.

Of course, there was no need to explain what that white magical powder inside those capsules was made of.

Even more disturbing was that this happened in the ‘old days’ when Hyeon Se-rin was active, and not a decade or more ago, but just a few years back. The more I thought about it, the more I hated this world.

I hated humanity.

But I mustn’t think like that.

I took a deep breath inwardly.

Grasping my shaken mental state, I recalled the words the Chief once said to me regarding such matters.

[If cancer cells are clinging to the body, you have to remove the cancer cells, but you can’t kill the whole person.]

Whether they ate Human Bone Soup or sprinkled bone powder like pepper, how many of such people could there be across the world?

The truly insane ones should be picked off and executed, but not the good people who couldn’t even afford a bowl of ox bone soup or ginseng chicken soup and were just trying to survive another day.

Not unless the whole world had fallen to the level where everyone was eating Human Bone Soup.

[Right. You can’t burn down all of Joseon’s eight provinces just to catch one flea. Isn’t that right?]

Hyeon Se-rin tapped Kim Yoon-ji’s back, siding with her.

[You did well. Nut Crusher may be a villain, but he wouldn’t have wanted his bones boiled with herbal medicine and eaten by rich people. Goblin, have anything to say?]

[Do you know anything about those who ate the Human Bone Soup?]

“…According to the information I gathered, it seems Hwalbindang already killed them.”

[Tsk.]

I was about to smash their heads, but unfortunately, it seemed that I couldn’t.

But.

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[Doul. Even if it’s fake, if there are those who believe it’s real, it’s still a crime, right?]

[Of course. Even if it’s fake drugs planted by the police, the buyer still gets arrested. The intent to buy is what matters.]

[Good. Thunder Emperor. Since we’ve already incinerated Nut Crusher’s body, we’ll follow your plan from here.]

“…What?”

I put down my bat, reversed its magic, and reached out my hand toward the Thunder Emperor.

[We will support your plan. If there’s anything dirty involved, our society will take care of it.]

“No, it’s just…”

[Why?]

“…I was just going to say that the body spontaneously combusted.”

The Thunder Emperor scratched her cheek with an awkward smile.

“That’s why I borrowed your mask, Goblin.”

[…….]

“I was going to pin it on you, Goblin…”

[Hmm.]

It made sense.

Given my actions up until now, no one else but Goblin could destroy bodies without being caught on CCTV.

[Fine. I’ll set up the scenario for you. Oh, but don’t misunderstand one thing.]

I pointed the hand I had extended toward the Thunder Emperor’s face.

[It’s not that I’m moving to help you. It’s simply our role to clean up filth once we know it exists. Don’t forget, there’s still a debt to settle for impersonating Goblin.]

“Of course. You said I had to give up what’s most precious to me, right? Then.”

Kim Yoon-ji glanced briefly at Hyeon Se-rin, then raised her hand to clasp mine.

“I’ll give you myself.”

[…….]

“After I die, you can use my cloned body or whatever. Just on the condition that you use it for the country. In exchange, I’ll give you everything I have.”

Kim Yoon-ji’s eyes, the blue glowing eyes of the Thunder Emperor, were sincere.

“Help me cut out and burn away all the cancer cells of this country.”

[Fine. Then, you’ll have to participate in a little play.]

I pointed to where Nut Crusher’s body had been.

“A play…?”

[Don’t worry. As always, just fulfill your role as a hero, in the way of our society.]

I extended one hand to the side, creating the Goblin Bat.

[How about I show you a little magic?]

A magic trick where people disappeared.

“Yaaawn.”

The director of Haegneul General Hospital, Kim Jung-hwan, fought off the drowsiness creeping in as he gulped down more coffee.

“Father, drinking like that at night…”

“I have to last until dawn. We don’t know who might attack during the night.”

The hospital was in a state of emergency.

Even though the Thunder Emperor was protecting them, villains like the corpse collectors were running rampant, getting as close as 500 meters from the hospital entrance, including an A-rank villain.

“This is driving me crazy. What’s so special about those corpses…?”

“They probably want to birth ability users. According to rumors, the chance of a regular pregnant woman giving birth to an ability user skyrockets if she takes mana powder.”

“That’s all medically unverified nonsense. Because of such superstition… geez.”

The director grimaced like someone who had just heard the logic of a pseudoscience believer, downing the rest of his coffee.

“Well, even if it’s just a folk remedy, if it works, I’d at least want to try—”

Beep—beep—beep!!

Villain alert.

The director spat out his coffee at the shrill, dizzying sound, far worse than any before, and jumped to his feet.

“Th-this sound…!”

“Goblin!!”

Outside the hospital.

On the main street approaching the hospital, an S-rank villain wearing a mask—Goblin—stood.

Step, step.

He casually walked towards the hospital entrance with a Goblin Bat slung over his shoulder, as if he were just visiting.

Crackle!

The hospital’s CCTV cameras outside all sparked and sizzled simultaneously.

But the electricity spiraled around Goblin, forming a vortex before dispersing and scattering onto the asphalt road.

“Even the protective shield…!”

Crash—!

The glass shattered as a woman surrounded by blue lightning landed in front of the hospital entrance.

“Thunder Emperor!”

Kneeling with one knee on the ground, her other fist pressed into the floor, Thunder Emperor, cloaked in blue lightning, stared directly at Goblin.

Tension was thick in the air.

Perhaps they didn’t need to exchange words. Was there some mutual understanding between S-rank villains?

No.

There was no need for words.

There was only one reason why Goblin had appeared here.

“Send people to the basement, now! We must block them somehow!”

“If the Thunder Emperor is breached—”

“Just hold them off! No matter who arrives from Busan, we need to buy time!”

The director rushed out in a panic.

“Damn it!”

The power was out in the elevator.

No matter how many times he pressed the button, there was no response.

Of course, no one would dare take the elevator with Goblin here, but the director gritted his teeth as he stumbled forward.

“Huff, huff…!”

“Director!”

“Protect it at all costs!!”

Running down the hallway and descending the emergency stairs, the director glanced through the windows, watching the distant clash between Goblin and the Thunder Emperor.

Crackle!

The Thunder Emperor hurled lightning from afar, but Goblin effortlessly deflected it all with swift swings of his bat.

“Huff, huff…!”

By the time he reached the first floor, Thunder Emperor had been pushed back into the lobby.

She unleashed a web of lightning like a spider’s web, desperately trying to prevent Goblin’s advance, but Goblin blocked all her attacks by swinging his bat aggressively.

He was determined that no lightning would touch him, swatting it away with relentless precision.

“Huff, huff…!”

The director took advantage of the opening and reached the basement.

In front of the morgue, several agents from the Hero Association were already stationed, which brought him some relief—until…

Swish.

“…Huh?”

Something ghostly descended from the ceiling.

It landed lightly on the floor and calmly walked forward. The association agents, shocked, pulled out their guns with alarm on their faces.

“It’s Goblin—!”

Bang, bang, bang.

Magic bullets rained down on Goblin.

But he just kept walking forward, pushing aside anyone who blocked his path, striding confidently into the morgue.

“Urgh…!”

“Director!”

The director was struck in an unfortunate place by a magic bullet.

It felt like a fastball had slammed into him, the pain so intense that he nearly blacked out, but a single thought cut through the agony, keeping him conscious. He stumbled forward.

“N-no…! If we lose the corpse, the Chairman—”

Crackle.

“…A matchstick?”

Inside the morgue.

[Fire and Justice.]

With Goblin’s cryptic incantation, the inside of the morgue ignited in flames.