I Don't Like The World, I Only Like You

Chapter 12: The Good Times In Life Part 8-14

008

Perhaps I had been away from home for far too long, but in any event, I have been unable to get a good night’s rest ever since I returned home, and frequently suffered from insomnia.

When Mr. F learnt that my parents had never ever read bedtime stories to me, his heart became filled with pity, and he volunteered to read fairy tales to me every night in an attempt to coax me to sleep. Since it was such a rare occasion whereby the Male Capricorn tried to do something that was vaguely romantic, I was extremely touched.

The first day, he read ‘The Princess and The Pea’; the second day, he read ‘Thumbelina’; and on the third day, he was supposed to read ‘The Little Mermaid’, but by then, he had already lost patience with the project. I told him that men ought to keep their word. Having thought over it, he sat down next to me and picked up the storybook before reading aloud in a righteous tone, “A long, long time ago, there was a mermaid. She liked to stay in the sea, and didn’t wish to explore other areas. As such, she blissfully lived out the rest of her life in this manner. End.”

Anderson would be so mad that he’d crawl out of his grave!

009

As it was a rare occasion that both of us were at home, I woke up early during the weekend to prepare breakfast. When I was in Primary School, whenever the final exams were nearing, my mother would always prepare a meal comprising of two eggs and a sausage in an attempt to symbolize the scoring of 100 marks.

I asked Mr. F whether he had this experience before.

He shook his head, “No, my meals were always prepared normally; there was no variation.”

I laughed at him, “Your childhood was so boring.”

He wiped the corners of his mouth, before telling me gently, “I don’t have to eat eggs and sausages in order to score 100 marks.” Glancing at me, he continued, “But you’re different.”

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010

One night, when we were on the car driving past Chang An Street, I suddenly recalled the period of time when we first ascertained our relationship. Since he decided to send me home, we both boarded the double decker bus and sat in the first row. The psychedelic neon lights on Chang An street were shining brightly, and the evening autumn breeze was gentle and cooling.

There wasn’t many people on the bus, and everything seemed perfect. Suddenly, a thought flashed through my mind – It is a perfect time to kiss right now. Without thinking it through, I blurted out my inner thoughts, “Shouldn’t we kiss right now?”

He was stunned into silence, and stared at me in surprise.

As the traffic light turned red, the bus gradually came to a stop. I started counting down in my heart, planning to kiss him the moment the light turned green. Meanwhile, my eyes darted to the dwindling numbers beside the traffic light.

“5 – 4 – 3 –”

All of a sudden, he leaned forward, his mouth gently touching mine. My brain went into a state of shock, and I responded to his kiss out of pure instinct. It was as though a feather had lightly brushed the tip of my heart, causing my entire body to tremble in weakness.

Subsequently, my face reddened in embarrassment, and I chided him for being shameless. He lowered his head and laughed, admitting confidently, “Yup, I’m just shameless.”

That was our first kiss.

011

I was replacing the bed sheets in the afternoon when he offered to help. After I completed replacing the bed sheets, I dived headfirst onto the bed. Sniffing the scent of sunlight on the blanket, I sighed blissfully, “I’m so blessed!”

Despite chiding me for being childish, he nevertheless lay down next to me. I wriggled into his arms immediately.

012

As a direct consequence of writing this book, I have been recalling the small and minute details of our dates rather frequently as of late.

Yesterday, I asked him, “Do you remember what was the first thing you ever said to me?”

He asked, “What is it?”

“After our mid-term test, there was a change in the seating arrangement. I took the initiative to sit next to you, and tried to make small talk by asking whether you were listening to Jay Chou.”

He smiled, “I remember now.”

“What was your impression of me then?”

“Not much of an impression.”

Initially, I was still fantasizing that he would feel as though he had been struck by lighting and fallen in love with me at first sight. However, after giving it some thought, I realized that his reaction when he first saw me was about right – after all, even I myself hadn’t thought that one day, this arrogant and insufferable youth would one day become my husband.

“In any event, that should be the first time that we spoke.”

He shook his head, disagreeing with me. “The first day of school, our entire class had to do spring cleaning. Do you remember the lightbulb in our classroom being blown?”

I nodded my head.

“You tried to show off by voluntarily climbing onto the table and changing the light bulb. When you were trying to get down from the table, you nearly fell off. At that time, I was the one who helped you steady yourself.”

Having thought about it, although I do have some distant memories about this incident, I had absolutely no idea that the person who helped me to steady myself was him. Ah, it turns out that our fated meeting happened earlier than I thought. Whatever I fail to remember, he would help me remember.

013

One day, I suddenly received a call from my ex-boyfriend at 2AM in the morning. He was clearly drunk and confused, and was harping on endlessly. As a result of the noise, Mr. F awoke. When he asked me who the caller was, I answered honestly that it was my ex-boyfriend.

Mr. F’s expression darkened immediately – he always took the fact that I had entered into a relationship during the four years he was overseas to heart. However, in actuality, I had only been together with that guy for less than a month.

I placed the phone on loudspeaker, and that fellow’s voice rang out. He mumbled disconnectedly, “Our director is just a stupid dumbass. However, he thinks extremely highly of himself, and always thinks that he’s some sort of genius. But I never ever thought that he was smart… I support Google’s acquisition of Motorola… In my opinion, one of the issues that the United Nations ought to discuss is the prevention of South Korea from claiming credit with regards to the creation of tea eggs…”

Mr. F was stunned into silence, and didn’t know how to respond. According to my analysis, Mr. F probably intended to execute a ‘big move’ that would KO the other party instantly, but he ultimately realized that the opposing party wasn’t even on the same level as him. It’s as though Iron Man had put on his full armor and dashed out, willing and ready to kill the enemy – only to discover that the other party simply water spinach.

I said, “He’s facing some trouble at work recently.”

He smirked coldly, “If he was my subordinate, I’d have fired him a long time ago.”

I replied, saying that there was no way his superior could fire him – after all, the Company was owned by his father.

“If he was my son, I’d have chased him out of the family and broken off all relations with him a long time ago.”

Me: “……”

I turned on the mute button and threw my mobile phone to one side. Mr. F wasn’t done, and continued critiquing me harshly, “You’re too flippant in how you choose your partners!” When he discovered that he had, by accident, scolded himself as well, he amended his statement, “Well, at least you realized your errors and mended your ways.”

I admitted my mistake whilst repressing my laughter, and expressed my gratitude to the superior for being so forgiving and letting me off so lightly. I then dragged him back to bed to continue our sleep.

The next day when I woke up, I glanced at the phone and saw that the call lasted a grand total of 3 hours and 23 minutes. Exactly how many grievances did this fellow want to confide about……

014

Speaking about my ex-boyfriend, that fellow can definitely be termed as a great and rare talent. Let’s just call him Young Master. In order to describe Young Master in his entirety, only four words are necessary – Gender: Male; Likes: Female.

When I first met him, he was chasing an American exchange student in our University. As the American student loved Chinese culture, he would wake up at 6AM in the morning and head over to the Block where the relatives of the Teaching Faculty stayed in order to learn Tai Chi from a group of old ladies. Basically, he invested his life’s energy in chasing and flirting with girls. I have some evidence to ground my belief that when Young Master turned his attention towards me, it’s entirely because he needed to satisfy his obsession of ‘stamp collecting’[1].

That said, putting aside his frivolous manner of handling relationships, Young Master is actually a rather interesting fellow. In the past, he would always fall into a daze when attending class. The teacher would then throw the chalk at him before scolding him, “What are you thinking about?”

Young Master would respond by looking out of the window and saying his classic line in a melancholic tone, “The weather is so darned bloody good, no more studying let’s find food……” Just look at this person’s literary talent, the precise nature and accuracy of his words! Doesn’t it paint a clear and vivid image of a wastrel living off his parents’ wealth?

At that time, everybody in our dorm frequently engaged in midnight chats. When I told them about Mr. F, everybody expressed their regrets and comforted me by saying that perhaps we simply weren’t destined to be together. Subsequently, when Young Master confessed to me, my entire dorm encouraged me to agree to his request. They told me that I couldn’t live like Wang Bao Chuan and wait in poverty for 18 years before Mr. F’s return. After all, my life wasn’t a television drama. I was gradually convinced by their reasoning – after all, nobody knew what Mr. F was up to; perhaps that fellow was living the high life now, eating and drinking whilst flirting with Caucasian females! Thus, I agreed to Young Master’s confession.

Young Master was the total opposite of Mr. F. He was an Aries, and the only reason why he had a head attached to his body was because he wanted to increase his height. Whenever he came up with new ideas, he would execute his ideas immediately without further thought. One Friday night, he was struck by an impulse to visit Zhang Jia Jie. Thus, he formed a group of six to seven people and managed to get us to purchase train tickets and accompany him on his journey. After playing for two entire days, we returned on Monday morning and headed directly to school. The moment we sat down at our tables, the entire group sprawled on their respective desks and slept. As Young Master frequently engaged in these types of activities, my transformation into a mental case can be largely accredited to him.

Young Master and I had great chemistry together; even my very own brother couldn’t understand me as well as Young Master did. However, both of us were strangely unattracted to one another; whenever the two of us stood side by side, we simply felt like siblings. Once, Young Master told me in an extremely sincere tone, “Why do I always fail to feel even the slightest bit of sexual attraction whenever I look at you?” I nearly spit out a mouthful of blood.

Before our relationship could even hit the one month milestone, I suggested ending our relationship as a couple and continuing as platonic friends instead. In Young Master’s words, “even though the sale wasn’t successfully concluded, the good feelings still remain”. After breaking up with me in the afternoon, this fellow somehow managed to hook up with a Year 1 Junior by nightfall.

Despite being an experienced player, Young Master nevertheless entered into a very serious relationship when he was in Year 3. He was extremely serious about it, and even contemplated marrying his girlfriend then – our dorm leader.

[1] When the author refers to ‘stamp collecting’, she meant that Young Master probably dated her as he had, in all likelihood, aimed to have dated each and every girl he was mildly interested in at least once.