I Don't Want to Be Loved

Chapter 0 Prologue

Chapter 0: Prologue

It was damp and cold.

Here sat the most humble of the kingdom come and it was no place for the queen of a nation. She was of noble identity, but she was trapped and she did not know when she’d see the light again.

In fact, she had long given up the desire to escape and hope to survive. From the time the unborn child in her womb died and the time her husband abandoned her was the moment she died from the inside.

Squeeek…

The prison door opened and a woman dressed in baroque clothing walked in. She was wrinkled with fanciful jewelries and ornaments that was befitting of a queen. Near the prison bar rested a chair and the noble-like woman sat on it.

“Hello, dear sister.”

Rihannan looked up.

The noblewoman’s fiery eyes stared at Rihannan with unknown desire.

“Poor dearest sister.”

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Unlike the words that flowed out of the the noblewoman’s mouth, her countenance was one of ridicule and criticism as opposed to one of compassion.

“I told you, sister… you needed to step back and give way to me. This would not have happened had you listened.”

Rihannan who listened to her half-sister without expression smiled in dismay. Yes, that was true. If she had chosen to back away quickly from him, none of the tragedy may have never occurred and she’d never have fallen from grace either.

But it was all his fault.

She loved him.

And that was also her fault.

“Sister, your throat will be slit open tomorrow. He no longer cares. You’ll die a miserable death as the crowd watches your tragic death. Your head will be severed, dropping to the ground and rolling over the dirt. Your blood will taint the ground whole. As your dearest sister, I can’t bear to watch that.”

Leticia, Rihannan’s half-sister, raised a small glass of bottle in her hand and passed it to Rihannan. Licking her lips, she continued.

“You don’t want others to watch your decapitation, do you? Give in. This is the last option to protect my sister’s honor and the last consideration I can give to you.”

The noblewoman’s purpose to rid of Rihannan quickly and oh she truly looked forward to this very moment for the longest of times. She’d even prepared Rihannan’s fall from the shadows long before.

But what was the point of it if Leticia did not receive the reaction she expected? It was all over and Rihannan had nothing left, but…

“Yes, thank you.”

Rihannan reached for the glass of bottle in Leticia’s had. She entangled her fingers around the bottle. This would be her end. Whatever Leticia’s purpose was, it was not so bad to die alone like this, Rihannan thought. In fact, she hoped to meet the hands of death ever so quickly.

A bitter smile spread on Rihannan’s lips.

“Thanks to you, this last road I take will be comfortable. I’ll drink this well.”

“…why are you pretending to be noble until the very end?!”

Leticia gritted her teeth and shouted. Her eyes which should have celebrated in joyous victory fluttered with a deep-seated anger.

“Why? Why aren’t you frenzied with madness? Why don’t you cry for help? Why do you pretend to be so calm when you’re not?!”

“Is that what I’m doing? Why? What’s the point?”

“Because I feel… I can’t stand your hypocrisy!”

“You’ve already taken everything from me. My father, my husband, and now, my humble position. Is that not enough?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I took it from you? No, it was mine from the very beginning. Mine! If it weren’t for you, they would have belonged to me long ago. You don’t know that?”

It was an absurd remark. One day, at the age of twelve, Rihannan’s half-sister suddenly appeared and grabbed a hold of all that she owned, leaving her with nothing. Her family, the man she loved, and the child she could never have… all gone.

Rihannan closed her mouth and said no more. She was tired, too tired to argue. She only wanted to end it all. That was her only wish.

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“I hope you’ll let me rest even in my death.”

“…you’re still going to put on airs until the very end.”

Leticia rose from her seat, donning a cruel smile over her beautiful face.

“This here is where you’ll die. It’s the perfect ending for you.”

After Leticia left the prison, darkness and silence pervaded the room once again.

Rihannan opened the lid of the glass bottle and drank the contents’ without a moment’s hesitation.

The medicine quickly spread all over her body. Her guts felt like it’d been torn apart and she vomited red blood countless of times. Soon after, the tingling sensation in her arms and legs disappeared and slowly, her heartbeat faded.

Rihannan laid on the cold, hard ground and waited for peace and serenity to come.

At the very last moment of her life, the face of someone she loved came to mind. Tears streamed down her cheek.

‘It’s a miserable end Rihannan… you were the last person I expected to betray me… you stupid thing…’

Her eyes closed gradually and she breathed her last.

If there was a next life, all would be different.

She would never love again nor would she give her pity.

It was her last breath…

But her eyes opened again.