I Don't Want to Be Loved

Chapter 38 A Future Far Worse

Chapter 38: A FutureFar Worse

“….Dimi, uncle, it’s getting late. Let’s rest for now and talk again tomorrow with a clear mind.”

Rihannan sent them out of the study, rubbing her forehead in the process. If she were to leave their wounds untouched, an irreparable scar will form.

She walked out of the study room thereafter and saw Mary outside on standby. Her deep-brown eyes coarsed with tears. She ran straight to Rihannan.

“Oh, Miss…” Mary croaked.

Rihannan smiled bitterly. “Did you hear everything?”

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Mary wiped her tears and nodded. “Yes, I heard it when the door opened earlier. Miss, is it true? Will you have to go to Arundell instead of the princess…?”

Rihannan could not answer Mary’s question. She did not know. Until today, she worried about Helena incessantly, but now, everything had changed. She now needed to worry for herself.

“Uncle said he’ll find a way. Don’t worry too much, Mary. I’m tired now and I want to rest. You should too.”

Mary, still in tears, nodded. “Yes, Miss. I’ll bring you to your room.”

Mary brought Rihannan to her bedroom and gave her the medicine she took regularly. Mary, still full of worries, stayed by Rihannan’s side ‘till she fell asleep before leaving. But… Rihannan had trouble sleeping. Throughout the night, she kept tossing and turning ‘till finally, she laid on her side wide awake pondering what happened earlier in the day.

She thought how difficult it was for her uncle to refuse the king and the crown prince’s order. Disobedience to royalty in this country was in itself a heinous crime. Should he chose to hide Rihannan and refuse to hand his niece over to them, he and Dimitri would be executed for treason. This was the worst outcome.

Therefore, Rihannan needed to go on her own volition to minimize the damage it would cause to her uncle and to Dimitri. They’ll be safe from harm.

But… there was one thing she did not understand. Igor. Why he used a vague expression of marrying Chrichton’s royal woman as stated in writing on the documents, Rihannan had no clue. When writing a document, the outline and principle needed to be precise and the mistakes corrected to prevent misinterpretations. But perhaps he could not afford to be precise considering the current situation.

Igor…

Rihannan recalled those cold purple eyes and felt a sudden chill for a moment. Maybe… maybe she won’t be able to avoid going back to Arundell. Her fate might turn out for the worst…

In the past, she became queen because she was an Arundell noble and the late queen’s close aide. The Queen, she held great power at the time. There was a certain basis for that. And the Queen adored her, showed her affection.

But this time, this was not the case. The Queen was a toothless tiger who’d long lost her power and throne. This time, no one would be at her side. It was as Dimitri said. She was walking on thin ice and any mistake could cost her her life.

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Rihannan’s thoughts strangled her and she was helplessly plunged in a deep sense of abyss. If this was the case, why did she not die and returned to the past instead? If she’ll have a future far worse than the past, what was the point…?

Rihannan recalled Helena’s words, she who shed sobbing tears said, “I don’t want to go to Arundell as a hostage…”

By now, she should have known. Helena will know that she’ll go on her behalf. Rihannan wondered what she was thinking. Would she be angry? Upset?

‘I’ll go see her first thing tomorrow morning.’

Rihannan could not rely on her uncle to shoulder the burdens all alone. Though she’s not sure where the princess stands, if she even feels a slight bit of guilt, maybe she’ll be able to help her. Maybe there’ll be another way, another path.

Pulling the covers back up, Rihannan relaxed and drowned in sleep.

A while later, footsteps, slow and steady, could be heard, disturbing Rihannan from her slumber.

Rihannan opened her eyes, face aghast to discover a dark figure standing beside her bed.