I Own a Brothel in Another World

Chapter 239 – Imitation Isn’t Always the Sincerest Form of Flattery

“So, they are going to be a problem?” I ask my knowledgeable lover as we continue towards the exit of the town.

“Their family certainly doesn’t lack funds or influence,” Sirgia replies thoughtfully. “They certainly aren’t an easy enemy to face. But, it all depends if this issue comes from some small slight, an obscure misunderstanding, or an actual offence that no lineage can look away from.”

We both glance at the distressed Dwarf girl sitting next to me.

Mevana shakes her head with a disheartened sigh. “I haven’t done anything serious to them. The best I can think of is just existing in the capital and running my workshop. And it’s not like I have a lot of customers either. Sure, I sometimes talk shit about other artisans and merchants and their practices but who would care? Everyone does that. I’ve never insulted someone’s lineage directly.”

“I can’t really say much about this since I don’t know how they operate and what’s the basis in this… part of the world, but big organisations where I’m from do tend to harass the smaller and more local ones just because.” I rub her back reassuringly. “Do you think we can somehow clear this up or did it get too far already?”

My genius lover rides in silence for a moment before standing in the saddle and turning fully around to sit facing us. “That depends on many variables, Master. Including the aspects I previously mentioned. If this is an order from the head of the family, they must have a reason for their actions and it might be impossible to change their mind. But if this hasn’t come from the top but perhaps from an absorbed subsidiary or a low-positioned managerial member of the clan, we might be able to negotiate.”

“And if that doesn’t work, can we go to the clan head?” I inquire, for a moment feeling like a typical Karen.

Her cute nose wrinkles a bit. “That’s risky. The person or people after Mevana would have had to go against some family code or rules, perhaps dabbling in something fairly illegal. If there was no good reasoning found, the head of the family would usually choose to defend its members. But, if we managed to dig up some serious dirt on the perpetrator, that could give us a chance to both get rid of them and gain some tiny favour from the clan. Compensation wouldn’t be anything great, but it would be a basis for negotiation at least, where we could make sure Mevana is left alone in the future.”

“There is no way I can do any of that…” Mev lets out a dejected groan. “I’m just an insignificant craftswoman… And they even put a bounty on me… This is the end…”

I scoot a bit closer to throw my arm around her wide shoulders, which does prove to be a challenge to some extent.

“Nothing is set in stone,” I say with a warm but decisive stone, then chuckle lightly. “And even if it is, there are people who can manipulate it anyway.”

“We will see what we can do to help,” Sirgia offers kindly. “Our destination is the same. Even if we fail to find anything significant through our external investigation, there’s still my family to consider. Forgegravers aren’t the grandest, but as a powerful line of smith and artificers, they are capable of going against the Stockhawkers.”

“I think you are forgetting one crucial element here.” I glance at her with a raised brow. “We first need to gain their favour and respect. You know I don’t mean to be rude but you are from an outer branch.”

She giggles charmingly. “That’s just a matter of time. They can’t hold a candle to you, Master. We will make all of them bow if they don’t listen to us and show you proper respect.”

Rolling my eyes, I smirk at her. “Our objective was to convince them of your greatness, not mine.”

“One doesn’t exclude the other.” My cunning wife wags her finger at me. “Although I’m confident in my creations, that won’t stop the jealousy and animosity from less talented individuals or successor lines, including the higher born. I might need your help with that as they will definitely look down on me and my results.”

“No one is going to look down on you.” I stare at her with a serious expression and she shows a gorgeous little smile.

“Are you sure, Master?” she asks, peeking at me coyly.

It takes me a moment to figure out what that’s supposed to mean and I snort to the side. “Fine, the only looking down we will allow is when you are on your knees before me.”

Her face grows all rosy and she ducks her head adorably. For something she’s wanted to hear, it makes her more embarrassed than it should. Meanwhile, Mevana glances between us with a perplexed frown until she finally catches on and turns bright red too, escaping with her gaze to the side.

And on that note, we wrap up our discussion on the merchant wars and drive out of the town. It’s getting dark already so we hurry to increase our distance from the settlement in case anyone tries anything again. I’m not exactly sure how quickly our Nail can spread the word but a few hours might be stretching it. Plus, it still doesn’t guarantee everyone is going to believe it instantly. We might have to wipe out a few more groups before that.

Finding a spot isn’t a problem and we set up the pavilion once more, this time with Mev’s help as our stocky companion hands us the parts while our duo assembles the magnificent tent. She also witnesses how Sirgia and I fill it in with all the furniture and appliances straight from our spatial rings, her eyes going wide at the casual display of such vast spatial storages. The suitcase remains a secret for now as we choose to introduce her to our identities step by step.

We wouldn’t want to overwhelm and scare our newest friend. Mevana seems like a nice person and I would honestly like us to work together in the future.

As we are sharing dinner and chilling around the main firepit in the middle section, the bodily girl glances up at me with a complex expression.

“So, are you guys going to introduce me to the friends you mentioned that night?” she asks pensively, possibly careful not to overstep her boundaries.

She must be aware we haven’t revealed everything yet, which isn’t a surprise considering she is another intelligent artisan like my petite lover.

“I just thought it would be a bit rude to have them stay outside now that I’m aware they are helping me,” Mevana adds as we are considering it with Sirgia. “You made it sound like wolves aren’t the only thing.”

“I see no reason not to.” I shrug casually. “Just try to be open-minded and you’ll have a much easier time not being shocked constantly.”

Thankfully, I’ve expected the no-so-thoughtful entrance of certain individuals and stopped them in time. As Mev still processes my words and their meaning, the flap to the tent flutters and two almost identical women with green skin stroll inside instead of sprouting next to the campfire where a patch of ground is visible.

“Good evening, Master!” the Lilies chant in unison and giggle sweetly.

They snuggle their majorly naked bodies into my sides while a line of pale and ashen girls makes their way in too, waving at the stunned female Dwarf cordially. Spreading around the common compartment, they find some spots to lounge on and pick up something to snack on from the kitchen, where Sirgia left a thing or two for later. Only Ianthe gracefully plops in my lap and reclines into my chest with a blissful sigh.

And that’s how I end up buried between three naked figures while my lithe mate smirks at me amusedly.

“That’s… more than I thought,” Mevana comments, still a bit taken aback. “You are… an Oread?”

“I am.” The Den Mother elegantly bows her head with a hand to her chest. “Myself and my sisters serve the Den Master now. You will be safe with us as long as he intends to keep your company.”

“Nothing is set in stone, huh.” Mev finds my eyes and I spot the faintest curl to the edge of her plump lips.

“Except for Master’s cock…” Ianthe replies, sensually sliding her palm down her alluring front. “How I wish he would set himself in my stone again…”

Our new ally chokes on empty air, trying not to follow the exquisite woman’s fingers to their destination.

I wrap my arms around the frivolous Oread and lean into her ear. “Stop teasing the poor girl or I’m going to bury my sword so deep in your stone whoever manages to pull me off will be crowned the next king of Utopia.”

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Sirgia chuckles daintily next to us while Ianthe bites into her lip strongly, giving me a nod of understanding. Raising her within my hold, I put the stone lady on the side so she can join the rest in sitting like a person with manners. Giving her one last scolding glare, I sigh tiredly and freeze.

Glancing down, I find Sirgia crawling into her place and wiggling her pert butt into my crotch to find the best position, taking a rest against me. She gives me a hopeful peek from below and I sigh again, pulling her more into me, knowing that she won’t be too unruly and just wants some of my affection.

“The horny one is Ianthe, and the two are Lilia and Lilie. They are a Liliraune. Basically, one being operating from two halves so they share everything,” I explain before anything else happens. “I’m sorry for all this improper talk and stuff. This is part of the reason why I didn’t want to bring everyone up right away. Nymphs can be fairly… amorous and they haven’t interacted with anyone else for decades. And the plant girls can technically be considered a distant relative of Dryads.”

“No, it’s okay.” Mevana waves her hands at us, her cheeks still a tiny bit rosy. “I don’t mind it. Trust me, this is nothing compared to spending time amongst most Dwarves. Your friends seem to at least have some class while our people make every evening gathering into a complete obscenity in terms of crude jokes and language. The way we speak to each other can easily make others hurl. Who wants to listen to male and female bickering about whose genitals smell worse or how fucking oneself with a splintered mug would be a better option or so.”

My Dwarf wife shows a reminiscent expression. “She is right. I already forgot how bad it can be thanks to living inside Master’s community. I hated men making dirty remarks and acting all vulgar but I have to admit I enjoy the way the females in the mansion come up with witty puns and expressions for naughty things. And the guests seem to pick up on that, showing similar tendencies as the way of fitting in and also enjoying themselves.”

“Well, back at my birthplace, they used to say that women are the eloquent gender with men being complete savages incapable of coherent thought.” I snicker at them. “And it certainly makes a difference that this isn’t a typical sausage fest but rather a taco gala instead.”

“Taco gala?” Mevana’s forehead creases as she tries to decipher my words.

“It’s a type of food from Master’s village. Take a circular piece of flatbread, something like a pancake, fill the middle with meat, vegetables, and other things, then fold the opposite edges together to form a boat shape,” Sirgia paints the picture, already knowing both the product and the other meaning.

“Okay, but I still don’t get it…” Our companion scratches her cheek awkwardly.

Before I answer and explain the joke, my craft wife hops out of my lap and trots to the kitchen complex. We watch her work behind the counter briefly and she jogs back to us a moment later, retaking her spot with a simple taco in her hands. She showcases it to Mevana from all sides, then directs the open end towards her face and puts her tongue out, giving the dripping sauce a good long lick from the bottom to the top.

That does the trick as the other woman swallows thickly, traces of a blush surfacing on her tanned skin. Her eyes skip over all the females in the chamber and land on me, the sole guy in this arrangement, finally understanding. I offer her a wry smile as my way too clever wife noms on the taco properly, giving me a bite too.

“Sausage fest… Taco gala… I think I’m going to steal those…” Mevana lets out a quiet laugh. “But I might need to keep the latter on me because the former is much easier to understand with just one gesture.”

“It’s a quick dish. Perhaps you can offer tacos to your customers while they wait for some fast order.” I wink at her. “Just maybe not your taco.”

She bursts into giggles, growing even redder. “Yeah… I think I’m going to save that one for special occasions…”

After we all calm down a little and finish these silly and quite lewd jokes, the other girls take a chance to introduce themselves too. Mevana happily exchanges a few words with the Oreads and shares a confusing moment with the Lilies. Talking to one of them just to be answered by the other one throws her off a lot. Not to mention receiving a double reply.

In the end, she even convinces them to stay for the night. It takes a few attempts and glances my way but I approve the suggestion. Diana and her folks are more than enough to warn us about any pursuers or even handle them on their own. Therefore, the girls decide to host a massive sleepover in the middle while kicking me out to the side compartment, threatening me with a good time not to eavesdrop.

I have no intention of ruinning their fun so I take care of myself and relax alone, enjoying the company of my own person in quite a while. Using the opportunity, I reach around within my connection and gather information on what’s going on everywhere else during this expedition.

As expected, there is pretty much nothing too serious as my capable ladies solve all the issues themselves. They kindly don’t sugarcoat anything and let me know what they are dealing with, knowing that I’m going to worry a bit if they downplay their struggles. I still feel a tad concerned during some reports, but listening to their solutions and results makes me only respect them more. And believe in them.

Most of them are now much stronger than any Human they can stumble on, rivalling the current peak of Humanity.

I spend a lot of time chatting with Cornelia, both because she is obviously my main target of worry and because she too is as nervous and uncertain. Being the doting husband that I am, I do everything I can to soothe her with my loving tone. I know she will be a great mother and the plans she shares with me prove it. She’s thought of so many things already to ensure our baby is safe and happy.

Before I wrap up this consultation, Lyona chimes in with a small question. They have supposedly received a commission that might require the girls to move past the mountains that we passed. She is wondering if they will be able to use the passage without me or Sirgia now that we have explored it.

Therefore, I catch her up to speed with everything we did there and pass the way to solve the puzzle to her. Advising her to stay vigilant no matter what since that place hasn’t been fully explored and made safe, I also promise to speak with Ianthe. Perhaps one of the girls would be willing to go back and aid them. It shouldn’t take an Oread too long to travel the distance.

She thanks me deeply and informs me that the squad misses me greatly. They are working hard to earn some more rewards and praise. That makes me smile but I tell her to remind them that I won’t be able to always be there to dote on them. But, I’ll give them an appropriately good dicking when I’m back so they better get their pussies ready. Lyona swears to keep them hot and wet for me.

Done for the night, I get some actual sleep. No attacks come and I wake up to another lively greeting. However, it’s from the plant girls instead of my dutiful wife. Sirgia seems to still be in the main section. They work enthusiastically for their reward and share it like everything in their life. I wash up in the bathroom while they scout the premises and give me a green light to move out of my bedroom without spooking the Dwarves.

Then there’s breakfast, packing up, and continuing with our journey. It looks like Sirgia found some time to upgrade the wheels of the wagon with some very basic enchantments and Diana can now reach higher speeds without the whole thing disassembling on us in the middle of the road. We practically double our speed.

And, sure, we could stuff all the cargo into our spatial storages, including the cart, but it would be a tough fit with Mevana in the saddle. This way, she has some comfort at least. And I don’t think she would be fine enough with being squeezed between me and Sirgia while our bodies rub together from the wild ride.

So, the next two days pass on uneventfully, with only one more group of idiots attempting to ambush us, during the day this time. They are dispatched swiftly. 

Also, Ianthe has sent one of her subordinates to man the mountain pass for now, who is more than happy to serve. I made sure to show my appreciation with a few tender kisses and sensual touches. That brought up a few more volunteers but it was too late.

Near the evening of the third day, we catch the sight of the capital. First impression, it’s massive. The defensive walls are twice as tall and thick as they need to be, and even then, the heavy buildings still poke out from behind them. Additionally, the closer to the centre, the more monumental they become, with a huge fortress at the apex. The general style resembles something akin to a mix of gothic and industrial. There’s a lot of smoke and steam from all those workshops and forges.

Sirgia is silent as we follow the main road to one of the checkpoint gates. I wrap my arms around her petite frame and hug her lovingly. She presses herself into me and whispers a quiet thank you. She doesn’t need to because that’s what I’m here for. To support her in every moment.

We split after joining the queue of merchants, which is clearly separate from the one for travellers and residents. Diana keeps herself as calm and docile as possible, preventing any unnecessary panic attacks from the other beasts of burden. Mostly animals, though. But, it doesn’t stop the incredulous looks we are getting.

Finally, our turn comes, and the trio of guardsmen on the side gapes at us in stunned silence.

“Don’t worry. She doesn’t bite.” I smile cordially, trying my best not to follow up with the swallows whole line.

“What is a Human doing this far into Dwarven lands?” one of them asks.

“I’m an escort to this beautiful lady behind us. Alastair Carter, Utopia’s First Regiment, Eden Alpha,” I introduce myself while leaning quite a bit to the side to pass him the contract.

The trio examines the scroll and the leader looks up from it. “Never heard of such a company.”

“No wonder, we are from Human lands,” I reply.

“Why did you cross the mountains, then? The signing town of this deal is on our side,” he further inquires.

“A different commission.” I point with my eyes at Sirgia in the seat in front of me. “Returning someone home after their apprenticeship journey across the realm.”

Just to show that we are law-abiding people, I hold the second scroll to him too and they check it just as well. Exchanging a few looks, the trio grunts with some shrugs and I receive the papers back.

The leader turns to Mevana. “You?”

“Mevana Shaftmiller, back from a trip to sell my products and purchase materials. My shop is on the corner of Irony and Willowy Street,” she responds, reaching for her own identification.

“Just pop them up for us.” The head guard waves her off while moving to the back of the wagon.

This seems to be a standard procedure as Mevana doesn’t say a word about it and hops onto the carriage’s bed. She obediently lifts the lid of whichever barrels the man points at, unseals a few crates, and opens up some chests. The inspector pauses at one, then snorts and heads off the cart. He keeps a somewhat disguised scowl on his face as he returns to his initial position.

“Free to go. Don’t cause trouble, Human.” He throws me a light glare, but much weaker than the one he directs at Mev.

Were these guys bought by Stockhawkers too? He reacted rather weirdly to her products. And she didn’t warn us about smuggling anything dubious beforehand. Mevana isn’t someone who would put us in such danger without saying anything.

Not wanting to make the people behind us angry, I instruct Diana to move on and we slip into the proper city. The streets are extremely tidy and structured with well-thought-out order. They are solid and perfectly flat, made of cleanly cut blocks of stone in various shades. From what I can gather, the colours have some importance as they don’t mix save for intersections so they either symbolise what can be found on these streets or at the end of the trail.

Mevana directs us vocally where to turn and where to head while Diana follows her instructions without my input. The paths are wide enough for two carriages to pass so we have no issues moving forward. Well, save for everyone stopping whatever they are doing or wherever they are going to stare at the proud wolf pulling our load. At least some people quickly make way, scared to see what she might do when annoyed.

Just as my Dwarven friends mentioned before, the capital is a bit more diverse in terms of height standards. Most entrances and passages are made with other races in mind. I can spot a few individuals strolling by, mostly Elves and Beastkin. Humans seem rather scarce here but it’s not that unexpected. When our kin started to fight back in the past, Dwarven lands were the safest with their mighty fortresses and thus sheltered everyone during numerous assaults.

About fifteen minutes later, we reach one of the streets Mevana mentioned to the guard, announced by a stylish plaque repeating itself from time to time on the buildings. This particular road has a yellow shade and it seems that workshops dominate this section. Mostly dealing in various artisanal trades.

“Finally home.” Mev sighs with relief, smiling at us warmly as we make the corner. “It’s nothing much, but at least it’s your own, as they say. I hope you can excuse the mess. As you can imagine, I didn’t do much cleaning—”

She cuts herself off, and I can’t really blame her. The two of us also pause as our eyes land on what should be the talented woodworker’s cosy store. Even Diana stops in place, her big head and clever eyes directed at the shop.

Or what’s left of it.

In better times, it was one of those simple commercial locums with two big window panes on the sides and a heavy door embedded in chiselled columns, taking the form of an architectonic portal. A wide signboard hung over the entrance, announcing who the workshop belonged to. The interior design based mostly on wooden furniture certainly greeted the passersby with a homey insight into the inner workings of the shop.

The crucial thing is, that was in the past.

Instead, we stand in front of fully shattered windows, a breached door hanging only by upper hinges while most of it lies on the floor in pieces, the signboard cracked in half as it dangles awkwardly towards the ground with the other half missing, and from what we can see, an utterly demolished interior.

I don’t think this is what Mevana meant when she asked us to pardon the mess.

Jumping off Diana’s back, I help Sirgia come down too. Turning to our merchant friend, I find her already on the ground, slowly walking around the wagon to finally stop before the ruined storefront. She gapes at it expressionlessly as her fingers slowly tighten into fists. I expect her to start throwing expletives at the perpetrator just like when we met, but I couldn’t be more wrong.

Her lower lip trembling a little, she falls to her knees, her head dropping low. 

“What’s even the point of going on…” she whispers with an audible struggle.

One that makes it clear she doesn’t exactly mean continuing to fight or even work.

Unhurriedly approaching the distressed lady, I kneel behind her and gently wrap her in a tender hug, which she doesn’t fight in the slightest. I can feel her shaking and hear the quiet sobs she attempts to hold in, spotting a few trails running down her plump cheeks as I rest my chin atop her shoulder. She lets me hold her without any protest.

“Mevana… You are an incredibly lucky girl…” I speak slowly and clearly into her small ear.

She jolts in my arms for the first time.

“Lucky?!” Her voice cracks a bit as she tries to shout but her throat refuses to cease its sobs.

“Storefronts can be renovated,” I continue as affectionately as I can. “Lives can’t be restored.”

I wait for her to respond in case she feels the need to confront my words, but she remains silent so I tighten my embrace.

“You would have been in danger if you were here when this happened. Thankfully, you were away. You can’t call it anything other than luck,” I explain softly. “Now, you have a chance to continue your work, develop your passion, and one day, get back at whoever did this to you. All of that would be gone if you got gravely hurt defending your precious workshop.”

She shivers in my hands as more tears fall, but keeps listening, raising one fist to clear her eyes a bit.

“Burn this image into your memory and use it to fuel your will and determination to keep walking forward. That’s the very thing these people don’t want you to do. They want you to lose all your drive and give up on everything. The worst that can happen to their plan is for you to come out stronger, better, and fresh out of mercy.” I emphasise the last point with a harsher tone.

Mevana manages an awkward giggle between her much more controllable sniffs.

“Take your time to collect your thoughts. After you feel ready, we are going to get in there together, assess the damage, and immediately plan out how to fix it. No, rather than that, improve it. We will do whatever we can to turn your shop into an object of envy with so much presence no one will dare to even think of messing with it, while at the same time retaining the general feeling of your previous workplace which you must have cherished dearly,” I add at the end and focus on embracing the troubled girl.

Sirgia shows up next to us with a sad smile and places her palm on Mev’s shoulder, giving us a tiny nod. Mevana takes a few deep breaths, rubs her eyes into her sleeves, and tries to stand up, which prompts me to let go. She stumbles a little, falling into my front, and graces me with an embarrassed but grateful smile.

“Thanks,” she whispers softly. “You are a really nice… Human.”

I smirk at her and give the broad vixen a light push. She waves her arms to catch her balance and attempts a cute pout at me but breaks it by chuckling to herself. Glad to see her well enough to joke around, I catch up to our troubled friend and lead us all inside, watching carefully for any threats. There might not be anyone waiting for us, but damaged furniture can be just as dangerous.

We step into the main section which is used to display products in stands, crates, barrels, and such, plus doing business behind the counter. Unfortunately, everything is broken and thrown upside down as if someone was angrily searching the place while doing as much harm as possible. The doors to the storage and the actual workshop are broken too. Mevana confirms that everything is ruined there as well. She mentions that she had nothing too valuable anywhere here so what’s lost is pretty much the fruits of her labour that she didn’t fit onto the wagon.

“At least they haven’t set it on fire.” I shake my head as we gather in the lobby again.

“That would put the culprit in a lot of trouble with the law and order department. Causing a fire hazard in the middle of a town is a much more serious crime than a simple break-in which has most likely been categorised as burglary,” Sirgia comments. “I know they have already put a bounty on your head, but is there really a need to go this far?”

Our gazes slide to one of the wooden walls. Someone used green paint to write the words THIEVING BITCH on the surface, covering the entire section with them.

“I think I’m beginning to figure out what’s the problem…” Mevana drags a hand down her face. “Could I ask for your help, Al?”

I exchange a slightly confused glance with Sirgia but follow her outside. She points at one of the chests, which seems to be the same one the guard didn’t like, and I help her carry it inside. My strength doesn’t surprise her much after the things she’s seen that fateful night. Setting it down where instructed, I step back to stand by my mate’s side.

Giving it a good kick, Mev flings the lid open and reaches in, pulling some kind of a wooden figurine out, and showing it to us.

No. Scratch that. It’s not a figurine.

That’s a penis.

I take one of the products into my hands and examine the wooden sculpture. Made of deep mahogany, it clearly depicts male genitalia. While the handiwork is better than fine, the design isn’t exactly the strongest part. It takes the form of a slightly curved upward shaft, tipped with a fairly sizable mushroom head. The bottom part includes a decent depiction of a sack too. It’s not exactly a masterpiece, but it definitely gets the job done. And that’s what matters in the end, doesn’t it?

Plus, I think this explains the accident she mentioned during the trip. Artisans love to test their own creations.

“Did you… come up with this on your own?” Sirgia asks tentatively.

“You got me.” Mevana chuckles quietly. “No, it’s just something I copied recently. Not directly, of course. I just saw the idea in one store and thought I could make something similar on my own. It was a fun challenge, honestly. I put it on display for shit and giggles, but it suddenly exploded in popularity and started making most of my income. With the side effect of men stopping to come by after learning what kind of products I started to offer, but hey, I’ll take women who know what they want over prissy guys who want to rob you blind with every purchase.”

“These are common here?” I raise a curious brow at her.

“I wouldn’t say common, but certainly popular. Now that I think of it, after they appeared in the city a few months back, they flooded all the general shops before disappearing almost overnight, only found in one branch afterwards. I should have realised what happened so much earlier but I haven’t been thinking about it too deeply, first fascinated by something new to try, then by the unexpected sales boom. As you can guess, the only merchants selling such things now are under Stockhawkers,” she explains. “Can I ask for another favour?”

As she glances at me, I nod, very eager to hear the rest of the story, similar to Sirgia. Mev points at one of the upturned standing displays and I give it a mighty shove, launching the weighty piece of furniture into a corner. She snorts and crouches above its previous resting place, which was in the spot part of the counter should be in if it wasn’t shattered. Pressing into the floorboards, she reveals a hidden compartment with a few personal things and a wooden box.

Its size and shape points to the obvious.

Surely, opening it up, she reveals another fake cock, this time made of glass, I think, passing it to Sirgia. It’s much closer to the real thing, with a shapely tip and even veins running down its length. The balls have more definition and texture too. I’m not an expert in these things, but I have a hunch that this model is made by blowing hot glass into a form like many winter ornaments.

“This is the toy I bought with my own money,” Mevana says, scowling at the painted wall. “As you can see, it’s far ahead of my version, and I’m not upset to admit as much. I didn’t make mine to compete with it, but it looks like that’s how that has been taken. I think this is the reason behind all of my troubles.”

Stepping a little closer to her, I give Mev a few pats on the back. “You couldn’t really know. It’s not like you were selling their products without permission or—”

The two of us jump a little as the sound of shattered glass reaches our ears, our gazes snapping to the Sirgia. My lovely wife stands in front of us with her hand raised just as before but with no dildo between her fingers. Instead, bits and pieces of it lie on the floor while she curls her dainty fingers into a fist so much it shakes visibly, multiple streaks of blood pouring from her enclosed palm and dripping on the floor.

“How dare they slander a talented and honest artisan while having the audacity to fabricate another’s work!” she hisses with so much venom even I shudder on the spot, and her trusty hammer materialises in her other hand. “Where are they?!”

My always so timid and quiet mate turns to us with pure fury twisting her adorable face, enraged so much it causes Mevana to squawk and fall onto her ass. After a second or two of remaining in utter shock, I finally register what has happened and charge straight at my beloved.

“Are you an idiot?!” I shout back at her, making Sirgia flinch and blink at me confusedly.

Smacking the weapon out of her grip, I grab her other wrist and bring it closer. She winces when I pry her fingers open and find multiple pieces of glass lodged deep in her skin and flesh, her palm painted scarlet from all the blood. She notices it too and lets out a gasp, at last understanding what she has done.

Carefully but decisively, I pull all the fragments out while making focused use of Rejuvenate, ignoring the muted whimpers she releases with each action, my heart tightening at every single sound. Getting rid of all the glass, I pour my waterskin onto her hand to once again take a good look at it before borrowing the strongest Healing Magic at my disposal, invoking it to quickly mend the wounds until not even the slightest scars remain.

Exhaling heavily when I’m done, I let Sirgia’s wrist drop. She stares up at me with the most guilty expression I have ever seen, further enhanced by her teary eyes from all that discomfort. Getting down to her level, I hug her gently, brushing my fingers through her soft hair.

“I’m so sorry, Master…” she whispers weakly.

“It’s okay. Emotions, I understand. But I’ve never seen you so worked up over anything. Well, anything other than me, I guess.” I place a loving kiss on her cheek and move back.

Sirgia crouches to the floor and picks up the bottom half of the broken cock. Careful not to cut herself again, she rotates it my way while offering it to me. I take the shattered ballsack and take a glance at the flat side.

There’s a symbol carved into the base. 

A heart, with horns, and a spaded tail. There’s a letter S placed in its centre.

Ah, fuck.

“Ummm… What happened?” Mevana hesitantly speaks up, peering at us from the side.

My genius artificer sighs and flicks her wrist. An elastic dildo appears in her hands and she tosses it at the other woman, who barely catches it in time. Then, as our just as crafty and clever woodworker lays her eyes on it, they widen to the brim.

“This… looks almost identical to the one I bought…” She plays around with it. “How?”

Approaching her, Sirgia tilts the cock so the base faces the ceiling and points at the dark purple brand. I join them and hold the broken piece the same way next to it, lining up the exact same picture on the side. Mevana’s gaze switches between the two with a baffled expression.

“This is the fruit of Master’s thoughtful mind that I brought to life with my own two hands.” My talented wife places a finger on the rubber one and then moves it to the side. “And this is a cheap copy that didn’t even bother to erase my brand.”

Oh, boy.

Somebody gone and fucked up.

She is pissed.