I Reject Quests

Chapter 206: His Ideology

Rewen's eyes opened with some difficulty.

It had been over thirty minutes since he fell asleep, the headache was still there for some reason. This wasn't the first time he had such a headache but this was the longest he had. It was frustrating, irritating, and painful.

But, the pain had lessened.

He opened his mouth and figured that he could definitely speak, albeit with some difficulty. He could move his arms around freely. He stared at the ceiling above him for a long time. 

'I need to find the source of this pain. However, the question isn't whether I can find the source of the headache or not. It's whether I have the time or the 'liberty' to start finding out the source of the headache. The latter also seems to be the most suitable and reasonable point to start with. Maybe my headache has something to do with the Waifu Corps. I don't know. Maybe?'

He sank into deep thoughts.

A while later, he suddenly logged out.

***

Klofar Residence.

Taking off the helmet, he felt something strange. No, 'strange' may not be the accurate representation of what he was feeling. That was, however, his first thought. After a moment of self-analysis, he came to know the reason for his thinking.

'Does this mean that the headaches lessen when going from one world to another? That's kind of interesting.'

Yes. His headache had vanished without a trace of the remnant. It was almost as if he never had a headache in the first place. Stretching his arms, he got up and looked at the time. 

7:28 p.m.

He walked out of the room and shouted towards the living room.

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"I'm going outside. I'll come back within an hour!"

Denny's voice was heard soon after. "Keep the lock at its usual place!"

Saying nothing more, Rewen went outside the house, locked it, and threw the main key through the small gap between the door and the floor. Putting his hands on his pockets, he started walking on the street.

Cold wind passed through his body making him feel chilly but at the same time, refreshing. He wasn't merely taking a breath of fresh air. He was searching for his determination.

No one read it wrong. 

Rewen was searching for determination.

Of course, his idea wasn't as ridiculous as the subject. 

Despite coming all the way here, he wasn't much different from a normal human. Like everyone else, he smiles when he is happy. Laughs when he feels something funny. Gets angry for a load of reasons. Perhaps, he would even cry if something crosses his mental limit.

If he had something special or unique about him, it wouldn't be looks. It wouldn't be his demeanor. It wouldn't be his charisma. It also wouldn't be his wits. It would be his confusing and self-contradicting ideology. To explain it in simple words:

Two plus two equals four.

That's the basic train of thought and also the most logical in the current day and age

Two plus two equals five.

No matter from which direction one sees this, the logic doesn't make sense. But if one redefines math? What if the numbers four and five were interchanged on a universal scale? Certainly, to redefine a single universally accepted fact, one needs to redefine billions and trillions of facts that have been prevalent for centuries.

Even so, it's not impossible. The analogy of "two plus two equals five" is a rather extreme example. Even if the most powerful person wants to make it a fact, he would not want to go through the lengths and difficulties to do so. That is also the main reason this bracket is in the minority. Most skeptics fit into this bracket.

Apart from the two extreme positions, there is a middle ground. It goes along the lines of:

Two plus two equals four but three plus one also equals four.

Sometimes, logic and reason aren't enough. That's not to say that there won't be any logic, just that it would take a different approach to make it logical. To understand this better, consider an example. There are two apples, namely A and B, which were bought by a man who plans to eat them. Just as he was about to eat apple A, the apple spoke up and pleaded with the man to not eat it. The owner agreed to not do so and went on to the other apple. 

The man had established the rule that he wanted to eat both the apples.

But he didn't. It's not that he couldn't but he chose not to. He isn't denying logic and reason when he chose not to eat apple A. He would be denying logic if he didn't eat apple A had the apple not spoken up, considering that there are no external factors.

When he denied eating the apple, he changed the rule that he had established.

This is one of the allegories used when describing the "Two plus two equals four but three plus one also equals four". Social, economic, moral, and philosophical factors attribute heavily to this. 

So, the question begs: Which one of the ideologies do Rewen fit into?

Neither. 

If he was told to consider accepting the first ideology, he would speak against it using the third ideology.

If he was told to consider accepting the third ideology, he would speak against it using the first ideology.

If he was told to consider accepting the second ideology, he would simply call the person an idiot.

Where does he stand exactly?

That's not the right question. It should be: Why is this the case? Does he believe that all the three ideologies have their flaws and thus, criticizes them? Not really. At the same time, he also isn't a contrarian for the sake of being a contrarian. His ideology changes depending on one single factor - circumstance.

That's why, despite still being depressed about having to kill several and in spite of being a hardcore believer of 'anything but kill', he never condemns or blames himself for being responsible for their deaths. He can't promise that he would do the same if he was faced with the same situation. People don't have to necessarily change in order to make a change in decision. 

The main factor with regards to the decision is not the person nor the cause of the change but rather, the circumstances.

And his current circumstances were not good, at the very least. 

Tomorrow is possibly the last day for him. From the day he decided to help Svety, he knew that a day like this would eventually come. Before his first fight, he was confident. He was confident that he could easily overpower the Rank 1 Mages easily if he wanted even without [Freestyle Knights Combat]. Before his second fight, he was a bit tense but he was fairly confident because of his trump cards.

But tonight

He had no way to describe the feeling. It was fear, anxiousness, uneasiness, anger, and several other negative emotions mixed into one. He also constantly got flashbacks of his life. He had done everything he could. Even after all this, if he were to fail, then he can blame his fate.

All these emotions combined together with his depression led him to have an extremely pessimistic outlook with regards to tomorrow's outcome subconsciously. This wasn't a recent revelation. 

He didn't just realize it just now.

During his stay in Gruer's Landings, the matter had always remained at the back of his head. Despite trying not to think about it too much, he could feel himself becoming more and more conscious of it as the days passed by. If it wasn't for his sudden headache, he wouldn't have made the hasty decision to return to Earth.

"There's no crying over spilled milk."

Standing before a three-storey residence's main gate, he walked inside from the small gate that was beside the main gate. There was a security guard standing before the small gate who didn't block his way but did ask.

"What's up, kid? Why did you come at this time? Is it something important?"

Rewen shook his head and shrugged. "I just came. I had nothing better to do anyway."

The security guard didn't say anything more and went back to his duty. 

Rewen headed to the residence and pressed the doorbell.

A few seconds later, a middle-aged male voice sounded from the speaker attached from beside the door. "Who?"

"It's me, Rewen."

"Oh. Wait, I'll call him."

A minute later, the door opened and a fairly tall man with dense curly hair appeared in front of him. He was Junar, Rewen's childhood friend.

"What's up? Do you need something?" Junar was rather surprised at his sudden appearance. Without waiting for his answer, a grin emerged on his face. "Want to go to the club?"

Rewen didn't deny and smiled.

"Wait, I'll just pull out the car."

Rewen shook his head. "Let's just walk."