I Rely on Kisses to Clear Survival Games

In the hospital in the middle of the night, everything was silent. The boys ward was completely dark with only faint moonlight entering the room through the window coating everything with a light silver glimmer.

Mmm

The young boy let out a soft moan. His eyes were wet and coated in a layer of tears as he sat on Xie Yuan Huais lap and had his arms wrapped around the other persons neck. He did his best trying to keep up with the passionate and deep kiss.

Xie Yuan Huai may look cold but when he kissed the boy, it was like he wanted to eat him up and it was especially passionate. He held onto the boys waist and brought him down with him onto the bed. He rolled around and pressed him down onto the bed while continuing to kiss him for a very long time. It was only until the boy began to struggle weakly did he let him go.

Huff, huff..

The boys face was flushed red and his lips were kissed to the point that there was a thin layer of moisture over it. He laid limply on the bed gasping for air.

Xie Yuan Huais eyes darkened a little and he once again moved in to kiss it. It made the boy shrink and gently push him away with a red face. With a small voice he said: Please dontI cant do it anymore..

You dont like it? The handsome man murmured. If you dont want to, I wont touch you like this anymore.

No

Hearing him say that, the boy couldnt help but pull at his clothes. With a voice as soft as melted honey, he said shyly: Its not that I dont like it

Good boy.

Xie Yuan Huai kissed his face and his lips curved up slightly to reveal a faint smile.

When he smiled, it was like ice and snow had melted and it looked extremely good. The boy looked at him in daze. When he returned to his senses, he found himself once again being pressed down and kissed. Mmm, brother Yuan Huai always seduces him like this but every time he cant refuse it

.

Like this, you wont be afraid right?

Xie Yuan Huai held the boy that had been kissed until his whole body had become weak in his arms. With his cold fingers, he gently touched the youths red ears and once again gently planted a soft kiss on his forehead.

But

The youths face was completely red.

He clearly just wanted brother Yuan Huai to accompany him. With him here, he would not be afraid.His intentions were very pure but brother Yuan Huai always, always..

But he didnt move to finish his words. He knew that if he refuted him, brother Yuan Huai would definitely ask him again if its because he doesnt like it.

He couldnt say that he didnt like it. In fact, he actually likes to kiss brother Yuan Huai. He just didnt want it to be so intense.

Whats more, he also didnt want to reject brother Yuan Huai. After all, he had gone through the trouble to stay with him in the middle of the night because he heard that he would be too scared to sleep at night because of the ghost stories he had heard from the nurse sisters during the day.

However, he remembered that brother Yuan Huai was hospitalised because of a heart condition. If he didnt sleep at night and accompanied him, would his body be alright?

Its okay. Xie Yuan Huai gently ruffled his soft hair. He said, I wont force myself. You dont have to worry.

Really? Thats good..

The youth blinked his eyes and asked curiously: Brother Yuan Huai, you dont get scared coming from your ward to mine?

He recalled the ghost stories that the nurses had told him during the day. Things like the man-eating monster in the sewer, the red-clothed womans corpse in the mortuary. He looked over at the door and couldnt help but shrink. He felt like something would appear from behind that dark door. With a pair of bloody hands, it would gently push the door open

He once again couldnt help but shrink into Xie Yuan Huais arms.

I dont. Xie Yuan Huais tone was very calm. There are no such things in the hospital.

It would be great it thats the case. The boy muttered. Brother Yuan Huai, do you think ghosts really exist in this world?

..

Xie Yuan Huais movement stiffened a little.

What does Xiao Chu think?

I dont know.I hope it doesnt. Im scared.

Xie Yuan Huai fell silent for a moment. He then said: You cant accept the existence of ghosts?

I probably cant. The youth thought about it and added. But it might not necessarily be the case. After all, I have never seen a ghost before so I dont know what kind of reaction I would have when I do see one.

Xie Yuan Hua made a soft sound of acknowledgement, but he didnt say anything. With his company, the boy felt a lot more relieved and he gradually fell asleep.

In a half-asleep state, he faintly felt a hand patting him softly and a gentle, low voice next to his ear.

Sleep.

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The next day, the boy slowly woke up and opened his eyes in confusion.

The room was well illuminated with the bright sunlight coming in from the windows but Xie Yuan Huai could not be found.

.

The boy held a bunch of snacks in his arms. With an excited expression, he hopped onto the elevator and went from the eight floor to the fourth floor where cardiology patients resided.

It had always been brother Yuan Huai going to his ward to visit him or them meeting at their usual place in the courtyard. Until now, he had not had the chance to go and visit brother Yuan Huais ward.

Today the nurse sister gave him some snacks that he felt was particularly delicious. He couldnt wait to share it with brother Yuan Huai but he wasnt sure if patients with heart conditions were allowed to have them, so he wanted to ask about it first

The boy got off the elevator and went straight to the nurse station on the fourth floor. He didnt know Xie Yuan Huais ward number. Even after asking him multiple times, Xie Yuan Huai never told him. Even the fact that he was hospitalised because of a heart condition was something that the boy had to elicit out from him with great difficulty.

Hello nurse sister.

The young boys eyes sparkled, and he smiled brightly: I want to ask about a patient. He is called Xie Yuan Hai. Which ward does he live in?

Xie Yuan Huai? Ill check for you. The nurses attitude was very kind, How do you write his name?

Thank you, sister. The youth smiled. Its Xie in thanks, Yuan in far and Huai as in the Huai River.

The nurse pulled up the registration list on the computer and searched through it. She shook her head and said to the boy: Did you remember the name wrong or get the floor wrong? We dont have anyone called Xie Yuan Huai here.

How can that be The boy blinked a few times. With some disbelief he said: But he is called Xie Yuan Huai.

I just searched for the Xie surname and no patient turned up. The nurse said. Maybe you can try the other floors.

Okay..

The boy nodded his head a little dejectedly. He went through all seven floors of the inpatient department and even checked the eight floor where he stayed but there was no one with the name Xie Yuan Huai. There werent even names with similar pronunciations.

Could it be that brother Yuan Huas name is just a pseudonym?

He was very confused. He couldnt understand this: But why would brother Yuan Huai lie to me. It doesnt make sense..

What does he look like?

The nurse on the eight floor was close to him and enthusiastically wanted to help. She asked with concern: Tell me and Ill help you ask around.

He looks very good. Hes tall and thin, and his skin is very pale. The most handsome person in this hospital will definitely be him.

The boy said calmly. He then suddenly thought of something. He smacked his head and said:

Thats right. Brother Yuan Huai wears a different hospital gown. His one is white. He looked down at his light blue hospital gown. The style is also a little different. The hospital logo is on the right hand side, not the left.

Huh..? The nurse was very surprised. That type of hospital gown was from many years ago and we have stopped using it for a long time already. All the patients now should be wearing the same gown that you are. How can there be someone wearing those clothes?

She found it very strange. At this moment, a senior nurse walked by. She stopped the nurse and explained the situation first before asking:

..So are there still patients wearing the old style hospital gowns?

The senior nurses expression changed slightly and she moved to ask the boy: Youre saying that the person youre looking for is called Xie Yuan Huai?

Yes.. The boy was a little upset. But it might just be a pseudonym.

.I dont know who you are looking for but there was a patient called Xie Yuan Huai that stayed at this hospital in the past who had a congenital heart disease.

The senior nurse had a complicated expression.

I used to take care of him but that was from many years ago.

He has been dead for a long time now.

..

The boys face went pale.

His gaze passed through the nurse and he saw a white figure appear in the corridor.

The handsome young man was watching him with a complicated look.

The boy recalled the mans cold body temperature, the fact that people around him would ignore him, how he would appear in the middle of the night without making a single sound and that strange appearance of his-

His pupils suddenly constricted.

..A ghost.

His brother Yuan Huai is a ghost.

Xiao Chu..

Xie Yuan Huai quietly whispered the boys name. He seemingly wanted to get closer, but the boy took a few steps back with a pale expression before suddenly turning around and fleeing.

Xie Yuan Huai lowered his eyes and he quietly stood in the same place. For a long time, he didnt move.

.

In the middle of the night when the ward was completely quiet, the boy laid in bed staring at the ceiling. He didnt have even a little hint of drowsiness within him.

Today, brother Yuan Huai didnt come to find him.

Hes gone.

The boys eyes started to turn wet and tears rolled down his cheeks onto his pillow.

A few days ago, when he suddenly realised that brother Yuan Huai was a ghost, he was very scared, and he couldnt help but run away. Afterwards, he immediately regretted this action of his. Although brother Yuan Huai was a ghost, he had not done anything that could hurt him. On the contrary, he treated him very carefully and gently. So what if brother Yuan Huai is a ghost?

However, his actions must have hurt brother Yuan Huais feelings. Since that day, he had not appeared before him.

What should I doWhat should I do to get brother Yuan Huai back..

The boy buried his head in his pillow and his shoulders trembled slightly. A soft whimper could be heard.

Gurgle, gurgle..gugu..

At this moment, he suddenly heard a strange sound coming from the bathroom in his room.

Whats that sound? Is that brother Yuan Huai? But it doesnt sound like him

The boy was a little scared. He put on his slippers, turned on the bedside lamp and cautiously walked over to the bathroom. He leaned against the door and listened to the movements inside.

Glug, glug

That strange sound continued and then, like the flush button was pressed by something, he suddenly heard the sound of the toilet flushing.

This definitely isnt brother Yuan Huai!

The youths face went pale. He suddenly recalled the ghost story about the man-eating monster in the sewer. No longer able to stay in his room, he immediately opened the door and rushed out to the corridor outside.

So scary.If ghosts are real then the man-eating monster must also exist!

He stood in the corridor trembling. His hands and feet were cold, and he didnt know what to do. The nurse on duty saw him come out of his room and walked over with a look of concern: Zhi Chu, why did you come out? Whats wrong?

I..

The youth opened and closed his mouth. He didnt know what he should say to let her believe that he had just seen a monster but at this moment he suddenly saw a bright red figure standing at the end of the corridor.

It was a young woman with messy long hair. Her pale skin was rotting slightly, and she was wearing a blood-red coloured dress. She slowly looked up and stiffly turned her head over to look at him.

Its the red-clothed womans corpse. Ghost! There really are ghosts in the hospital! Those legends are true!

Sister, a ghost. Run!

The boy was scared to the point that his face was completely void of colour. He grabbed the nurses hand and made an attempt to escape but at this moment the elevators in the hospital were not running and it couldnt be used so he dragged the nurse with him to the stairwell.

Zhi Chu? Huh?

The nurse looked back and saw that there wasnt anything there. She remembered that the young boy had symptoms of paranoia and she thought that his illness had played up again. She pulled him back and gently reassured him.

Dont be afraid. There are no ghosts in the hospital. See, Ive been doing night shifts for a so many years now and Im okay so dont worry, there really arent any ghosts. Take some medicine and go to sleep.

No.Its real.

The boy was very flustered but, seeing that she wasnt listening to him, he could only pull at her sleeves and drag her towards the stairwell. During a moment of distraction, he didnt pay attention to his feet and stepped into air. Like this, he directly fell backwards.

The nurse screamed: Zhi Chu!

Bang-

..

Fortunately, Zhi Chu didnt sustain any serious injuries.

Doctor Luo gently held the youths head and carefully examined it. He then took the CT scan of his head and looked at it for a long time before shaking his head and saying:

But because of the impact to the head, for a short time he would be slightly confused and would have more difficulty distinguishing between reality and fantasy. We would need to guide him slowly to help him recover.

A good-looking woman nodded her head. She looked over at the youth sitting on the bed and slight worry flashed across her eyes: My child..will he get better?

Please rest assured. Doctor Luo nodded. We will do our best to cure him.

After exchanging a few more words with the young mans mother, Doctor Luo sat on the bed and pressed his hand onto the boys shoulder. With a serious tone he said: Zhi Chu. Do you believe in me and your mother?

.Of course.

The boys response was a little slow. He then nodded and answered with clear eyes: Of course I believe in you and my mother.

Thats good. Were telling you that there are no ghosts in this world. You dont have to be afraid.

Doctor Luo said: Those ghosts are just fantasies conjured up by you. This includes Xie Yuan Huai. He has passed away a long time ago. He is not a real person.

But The boy opened and closed his mouth. He anxiously tried to explain, Brother Yuan Huai is real

Xiao Chu!

The woman suddenly walked over with her eyes faintly shedding tears. With a pale face she pulled him into her embrace. She said in an almost pleading tone:

Im begging you, please get better soon okay? Do you know how worried mum was when I heard that you fell from the stairs.Take it as your mums heartfelt request..

.Mum? The boy who was being hugged by her was a little stunned.

In his memory, his mother would always be busy with work and she almost never cared about him. Because of his sexual orientation, she would rarely smile at him and he had always thought that she didnt like him.

You are mums precious son. How can mum not like you?

As if she knew his thoughts, the woman whispered out these words. However, her nature is naturally rather stoic so saying these words was her limit. She couldnt speak anymore and could only gently rub the boys head.

Mum will changeIll spend more time with you. Dad will do the same. He also loves you very much. Hes coming back from abroad to see you and will be back soon. So, for us, you have to get better okay?

.Okay!

The boys eyes were red as he sincerely nodded his head. He hugged her back tightly causing the woman to stiffen up a little. Her heart was filled with a mixture of both joy and sorrow and she couldnt help but shed a few more tears. Doctor Luo who was standing on the side also revealed a heartfelt smile.

However in the deepest part of the boys heart, he didnt want to believe that Xie Yuan Huai was just an illusion.

He clearly felt so real. He had embraced him, kissed him and relied on him wholeheartedly. He would even accompany him to sleep at night and show him a small but beautiful smile every now and then..

Someone like brother Yuan Huai, how could he conjure up such a fantasy on his own?

Brother Yuan Huai.

Alone in his ward, the boy curled up in his bed. Looking thin and weak, he buried half his face in his arms and only revealed a pair of faintly red eyes.

Doctor Luo said that I cant differentiate between fantasy and reality so I dont know anymore whether you really exist.

Please. If you really exist, can you come out and see me? I.I know I mustve hurt you a lot that day but I didnt mean it. Even if youre a ghost, I like you. Please come out and see me okay?

No one answered him.

He sat in the ward for a whole day. Until late at night, not a figure appeared.

Perhaps brother Yuan Huai still hasnt forgiven him.

But whats more likely was that brother Yuan Huai was really just an imaginary figure that he had conjured up.

The boys eyes were a little swollen from crying. He was extremely upset but even if he was sad, he understood that he should no longer let himself be immersed in his own fantasies. His mother and father were still waiting for him at home, waiting for him to return back to them.

In the end you still havent appeared

He said quietly. His voice was a little hoarse from crying.

Then..goodbye.

Goodbye brother Yuan Huai.

The boy closed his eyes, buried his face and shrank into a small ball. His body felt a little cold.

What he couldnt see was that, standing just beside him was Xie Yuan Huai. He had reached out and wanted to touch him only to see his hand go through the boys body.

He had always been by Xiao Chus side.

But Xiao Chu could no longer see him and could no longer be touched by him.

..

He had lost his Xiao Chu.

*****

Bai Yis Diary (Part 29)

Bai Yi who has been apart from Cheng Zhi Chu for a long time eventually refused to write his diary entry.