I Should Have Just Died

‘Useless girl! You are a disgrace to the royal family.’

‘You’ve been born to a lowly woman and you’re a humiliation to me!’

‘Why don’t you die? Why don’t you die together in your mother’s womb!’

The words like a vicious curse toward her seemed to become a pond and drown Alyssa to the neck. The only one who pushed her away from that, the first person to need Alyssa. The only person who looked straight at her amidst her encroaching suffering.

It is not Avery’s Alyssa, but Alyssa herself.

Alyssa bit her lips.

She jumped up to her feet. Although her body stumbled, having eaten nothing, Sasha could not stop Alyssa’s stubbornness.

Still, she always looked good after visiting the garden, so again…

Sasha helped Alyssa get out with her tearful face. She won’t know what was hiding there, but she hoped that Alyssa could come back with comfort this time. She hopes her master can laugh a little.

***

Seidrick frowned.

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It was because he could see Alyssa from his office window. It seemed dangerous to walk stubbornly into the woods.

‘You must’ve regained consciousness.’

Then you’re supposed to take your meds and have a meal. Why is…

Seidrick sighed.

It doesn’t really bother him that much. If she just woke up, she wouldn’t be feeling well. The fact that Ophelia and Juliana played a part in Alyssa’s collapse caught Seidrick’s ankle. He swept his hair up. Pauline glanced at Seidrick as he jumped up.

“Are you going to pick fruit again?”

“…Do you have any complaints?”

Seidrick made an impression to look as scary as possible. Of course, Pauline, who has been with him for years, didn’t blink, but she smiled as if looking at her cute little brother, and she shook the file.

“Bye. Don’t forget this.”

“… I’ll be back soon. I won’t be late.”

“Yes.”

Pauline didn’t pretend to know, as if it didn’t matter. Seidrick glanced at Pauline and left the office. At first, his slow pace became faster. He was worried that she would fall again in the garden with such a precarious appearance. He thought it would be better to watch from the side.

Seidrick pulled down his button.

Alyssa wandered through the woods, holding her dizzy head. Alyssa bites her fishy,

bloody lips.

Now she doesn’t feel any pain from her broken lips. It is because she’s getting used to it. However, the only thing she didn’t get used to, no matter how much she went through, were the words that swept through Alyssa’s heart.

It wasn’t until the open lake appeared that Alyssa stopped struggling. She couldn’t even walk anymore. Slowly she had to admit that the gardener was nowhere.

“Ha…”

She exhaled a long breath.

She forgot that her clothes were covered with grass and the cold weather was swaying the hem of her skirt and sat down on the ground. In the sunlight, the lake shimmering like a jewel was deeply embedded in Alyssa’s eyes.

In the first place, it was a mistake to come here to be comforted by someone. Knowing that gardeners don’t always stay here. She wished for the gardener to be here because she was burdened and tired. She didn’t even know him properly.

Alyssa buried her face in her knees.

Has she been doing that for a long time?

Thump, thump.

She began to hear the footsteps of heavy boots. Alyssa raised her head with a look full of expectations. He was walking through the sunlight of the early winter, the person she had been searching for so much. In his hand, he held a basket with tools for picking berries that only open in winter trees.

The gardener, who found Alyssa, paused and approached her. He put down one of his baskets toward Alyssa without saying anything. There was an egg that looked warm in a basket that was dropped next to her.

“The chicken laid eggs.”

“…The promised day has not yet come.”

Alyssa mumbled in a tearful voice. Strangely, cheap eggs are making her cry.

Seidrick, confused as he heard her crying voice, swept his face down. He wasn’t sure for what reason he should talk to Alyssa, so he brought the eggs. Although the gardener protested if he would take only two eggs.

“Oh, are you?”

“I’m glad. I am so happy.”