I Was Hoping She Would Notice but again Now When She Did... Im Tired

Avey…

I think she was the only reason I stayed sane during that time. I don’t know how I fell so low back then, but it happened. It wasn’t one of those sudden descents into darkness, but a slow, quiet fall a gradual unraveling that went unnoticed by those around me. Avey, though… she was the light in that darkness. She made everything feel a little less suffocating, a little more bearable.

We didn’t talk much. We didn’t spend a lot of time together outside of school. We didn’t even share secrets like most friends did. But somehow, her mere presence in the classroom was enough to make me feel safe. Sitting next to her, knowing she was there it gave me a sense of comfort I hadn’t felt in a long time. I don’t even know if she realized how much she meant to me.

I never told her, and it’s not like I had any plans to. It wasn’t a conscious decision to treat her better, but I just… did.

Unconsciously, I started to go out of my way to be kinder to her. Middle school went by smoothly with me being close to Avey, even if she didn’t know how much I relied on that connection. She was the only person I had allowed into my little world. I wanted to have more friends, of course everyone does but for some reason, I just couldn’t. Something about me kept people at arm’s length, except for her.

Then came the time for high school, and things changed. My mother and sister were both pushing me to apply for high school early, recommending schools left and right, but I wasn’t interested in any of them. I couldn’t even think about making a decision until I knew where Avey was going. She was the only thing that mattered. I didn’t care about the rankings or reputation of the school.

I just wanted to be where she was. My mother didn’t seem to care much about my decision once I finally told her where I wanted to go. It felt like she didn’t know or didn’t care about my mental state, about whether I had friends or not. Everything with them was becoming so bland, so disconnected. But I didn’t complain. I never complained.

I tried so hard to hold onto them, to not lose the only family I had.

When I started showing Avey more affection, I don’t think she noticed. Maybe she didn’t understand what I was trying to convey, or maybe she just saw me as a normal friend. Either way, it didn’t stop me. I remember the first time I did something truly special for her it was on her birthday. I decided to use my Grandmaster cooking skills for the first time.

My mother and sister were shocked when I told the chefs at home to step aside so I could cook. They watched me with curious eyes, wondering where I had learned to cook. I lied, of course, and told them I had picked it up from the internet. I didn’t want to explain the system or the way it worked. I felt proud, though. For once, they were paying attention to me.

My sister, naturally skeptical, asked me why I was doing it. I didn’t give her a real answer. I just told her I wanted to, and that seemed to satisfy her for the moment.

After packing the lunch I made, along with a few other handmade gifts, I went to school. I knew that Avey came from a wealthy background just like me, so there was no point in buying her something she could already get herself. I wanted to give her something personal, something that came from the heart. When I handed her the gift, her eyes lit up with surprise.

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She nearly cried when I told her I had made the food myself. I’m not sure she believed me, though how could she? It probably tasted just as good as what her five-star chefs made at home. But still, she smiled, and that was enough for me. Seeing her happy made me feel something I hadn’t felt in a long time contentment.

I was double happy that day, not just because she liked it, but because I was finally able to give her something that mattered.

After that, I started cooking for her every day. Some days, she didn’t eat the food I made, but that didn’t bother me. It wasn’t about whether she ate it or not. It was about showing her that I cared. It felt satisfying just to do something for her, to be able to express my affection in a tangible way. I lost count of how many things I did for her.

It just became part of my daily routine, but I always tried to keep it normal, never too obvious. I didn’t want to seem too clingy, especially after learning how my mother and sister had responded to my attempts to show them love. They had grown distant, cold, even indifferent to my gestures.

But with Avey, it felt different. I allowed myself to dream. I thought we could go well together. I imagined a future where we were more than just friends, where maybe, one day, we could get married. It was a foolish dream, maybe, but it was real to me. I loved her.

Truly. If she had asked for anything anything at all I would have done it. All she had to do was say the word, and I would have made it happen.

I thought she liked me too. She was always close to me, and I mistook that for something more. Maybe I was overthinking things, but it felt so real to me. I don’t even know how things got to the point they did, but I remember it clearly now. It was just before our farewell party, and I decided to ask her out. I was 90 percent sure that she liked me too.

We had spent so much time together. How could she not feel the same way?

But when I asked her, in front of the whole class, she rejected me. Just like that. I wasn’t prepared for it, not at all. I don’t know why she did it. Maybe she wasn’t ready for a relationship, or maybe she just didn’t see me that way. Whatever the reason, it didn’t matter.

It hurt all the same.

What hurt even more was how she didn’t stop me when I left. Not a word, not a single gesture to show she cared. She just let me walk away, and that… that cut deeper than the rejection itself.

I remember walking into my house after leaving the party early, my heart shattered into pieces. My mother and sister were sitting at the table, and for the first time in a long time, I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I couldn’t hold them back. They just fell, uncontrollably, as I looked at their faces. For the first time in what felt like years, I saw concern in their eyes. They actually cared.

They asked me what had happened, but I couldn’t talk. I wasn’t in the mood to explain. I wiped my tears, hiding my face, and went straight to my room. I locked myself inside, away from the world.

That day was one of the worst of my life. I cried for hours no, I cried all night. The pain was unbearable. I kept asking myself why it had to happen. Why had Avey rejected me? Why didn’t she love me back?

We had known each other for so long. What had I done wrong? What was missing?

I could hear the knocks on my door, the missed calls from my mother and sister, but I didn’t care. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, especially not them. I had spent years treating them with love, with care, and they had ignored me. Now, all of a sudden, they wanted to show concern? It felt hollow. I couldn’t bring myself to face them.

But more than anything, I was waiting for Avey’s call. I kept checking my phone, hoping praying that she would reach out. I don’t even know what I was expecting. An apology? An explanation? Anything would have sufficed.

But she never called. Not a message, not a word. Nothing.

The pain I felt that night was so overwhelming, I didn’t know how to cope. It was like my heart had been ripped out, and there was nothing left but a hollow ache. For a brief moment, the thought crossed my mind I didn’t want to live anymore. It was too much. The weight of rejection, of lost love, of being ignored by the people I had cared for all my life… it was too much to bear.

And yet, here I am. Still alive, still breathing.

"Max, do you remember that day?" The man paused in the middle of his story, his eyes clouded with the weight of the memories. He let out a soft chuckle, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips, though his eyes remained the same—distant, haunted. "I asked you something back then... if I was doing things right. If I was wrong in some way."

[I remember it, Host,] Max replied, the voice in his mind as clear as ever, neutral but attentive.

"You told me it was normal. That I should try again. You said I needed to be more persistent, to put more effort into it. That I had to fight for my love." The smile on his face faltered slightly, his expression becoming more serious, more reflective. "You told me that if I kept pushing, eventually, I’d get there. I’d earn it."

The man sighed deeply, his chest tightening as he recalled that conversation with Max. "You said something beautiful that day. Something that stuck with me, even if… well, even if you might not think it was all that great now. But I remember every word, Max. Every single word. Even after all this time, it’s still with me."

He paused for a moment, his mind drifting back to that pivotal day, the words that had once lifted him, and the promises he had held onto so tightly.

"If you want something in life from the depth of your heart, the whole universe conspires for you to get it."

The words echoed in his mind, heavy with meaning. "That’s what you told me, Max".