I, Your Father, Carry a Big Stick

Chapter 54: I, Your Father, am not a Child

After a much longer night than she was expecting, stretching well into the morning, Tsunade was using the Mystic Palm to alleviate the ache in her hips and lower back as she grumbled, “Dammit, kid…show some restraint next time…”

Instead of responding immediately, Wu silently observed Tsunade’s actions while lying on his side, hand propping up his head as he softly asserted, “You’re beautiful…” with a ‘dazed’ look on his face.

Though she ‘glared’ back at him, Tsunade didn’t offer a rebuttal. Wu had performed ‘a lot’ better than she was expecting. He was meticulous yet passionate during foreplay, pleasantly ‘forceful’ during the act itself, and his stamina…she was utterly exhausted and cramping due to dehydration, but Wu looked like he could go another ten hours without issue…maybe a lot more…

Shaking her head, Tsunade muttered, “Little monster…” under her breath before attempting to rise to her feet. However, despite her treatment, her legs immediately gave out on her, nearly causing her to stumble until Wu miraculously appeared, seemingly out of thin air, to catch her.

“Take it slow…I can’t imagine it’s easy to walk after having your insides stirred up for ten hours. You couldn’t even think straight half an hour ago, so don’t force yourself…”

Though she was secretly appreciative that Wu had caught her, Tsunade turned her eyes up at him with a judgemental look as she asked, “Do you enjoy hearing the sound of your voice? If you keep inflating your ego like that, your head will expand…”

Adopting a cheeky smile, Wu mused, “I much prefer the sound of yours…” with a narrowed gaze and a fiery look in his eyes. He was half-tempted to give the busty blonde a smack on the ass, but he knew they weren’t quite at that stage…yet.

Blushing up to her ears, Tsunade was about to shove Wu away when he stole the initiative from her, picking her up in a princess carry and asking, “Where did you need to go? I’ll carry you.” with a markedly more ‘sincere’ expression and tone.

“…”

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Resisting the urge to tell Wu to fuck off, Tsunade remained silent for a few moments before answering, “I need to wash up. Carry me to the bath…” in a soft yet authoritative tone. To her surprise, Wu’s smile broadened as he replied, “No problem.” before carrying her from the room and following her directions to the bathhouse. There, he disregarded her initial protests and gave her a ‘very thorough’ scrubbing before carrying her back to her room and advising her to get some rest while he went outside to train…

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“I get it, okay!? You’ve proven your point! Go outside and collect all the women you want! Just give me a fucking break…!”

After five days of cohabitation, punctuated by 8-10 hours of sex every single day, Tsunade was at her wit’s end. It felt good, sure. Damn good, even. But she hadn’t left the house a single since Wu came over, and his ‘care’ was so thorough that she barely even left her room.

With an expression resembling a kicked puppy, Wu hung his head and whispered, “I thought you wanted me to prove to you I’m not a brat. You keep calling me things like ‘kid,’ so I just assumed you weren’t satisfied…”

Hearing Wu’s ‘explanation,’ Tsunade had one of the most dumbfounded expressions the former had ever witnessed. If she had known Wu was going to town on her just to prove a point, she would have conceded the first night.

Reaching up to massage her forehead, Tsunade exhaled a groan and said, “Fine, fine…you’re a ‘real’ man, got it? Sorry for calling you a kid. Now, can you leave me in peace? Shizune and Tonton had to move to another room because you don’t let any of us get any sleep at night…”

Smiling apologetically, Wu scratched the back of his head as if he were embarrassed. In truth, he didn’t actually know if his actions were extreme or not, as Tsunade was the first woman he had sex with. He reasoned this was the best time to weaponize that fact against her, so he hung his head and said, “Sorry…this is the first time I’m doing something like this. I just wanted to make you feel good…”

Blinking several times, Tsunade opened her mouth to speak but couldn’t find the words. When she did, several beads of sweat began forming on her brow as she tentatively inquired, “Don’t tell me…could it be you were still a virgin before this? How is that possible…?”

Shrugging his shoulders, Wu replied, “I definitely had the opportunity, but I didn’t want to jump into a commitment or derail my future aspirations by inadvertently having a kid. Before Hiruzen approached me, and you asked me to ‘prove’ myself, I was planning to wait until I was between sixteen or seventeen before becoming sexually active…”

“…”

Unable to process what she was hearing, Tsunade cradled her forehead while holding up her left hand to prevent Wu from speaking further. If she had known Wu was still a virgin, she would have delayed their marriage at least a year or two. Now, she felt like she had stolen something precious from both Wu and the girls who were infatuated with him…

Ignoring Tsunade’s attempt to silence him, Wu exacerbated matters by adopting his most radiant smile and stating, “I don’t regret it. Not even a little. I’ve said it before, but you’re an extraordinary woman, Tsunade. A lot of people would envy the position I willfully stumbled into.”

“Ugh…”

Feeling as though she had suffered critical damage, Tsunade groaned, and she couldn’t even look Wu in the eye. His smile cut through her like the sharpest of knives, piercing to the very core of her being and filling her with emotions ranging from guilt to gratification.

“Dammit, kid…if you keep saying shit like this, you’re going to make me a fool…”

Confused by Tsunade’s words, Wu was about to ask what she meant but was preempted by her exhaling a sigh and muttering, “Just for tonight, I’ll let you go for as long as you like…” with a distinctly ‘pouty’ expression on her face, complete with puffed-out cheeks. There was even a faint blush creeping into her cheeks, compelling Wu to smile from ear to ear in what Tsunade interpreted as unfettered excitement…

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<Two Days Later>

After entrusting Tsunade to Shizune, Wu made his way into Konoha with a smile and a discernible ‘skip’ in his step. He had gone to great lengths to ensure Tsunade no longer felt ‘guilty’ about taking advantage of him. More importantly, he had released all the ‘tensions’ that had accumulated in his body over the years, so he was in an incredible mood and felt lighter than he had in his entire life. Thus, even though he wasn’t entirely sure how to explain the situation to Tenten, he was all smiles as he made his way over to Yakiniku Q.

Though he didn’t encounter anyone worth talking to during his visit, Wu emerged from the restaurant in an even better mood than before. Hiruzen had never explicitly told him he could no longer open tabs in his name, so Wu had filled his stomach with more than three kilos of premium-cut pork and steak. The Senju Manor’s food stores were practically empty, and the budget given to Shizune to purchase groceries could barely afford to feed the two women and their pet, much less someone as voracious as Wu. He had fasted for six months in the past, just to confirm whether he could subsist entirely off of Natural Energy, but he much preferred to have a full belly. And food simply tasted better when someone else was paying.

Feeling content and full, Wu set his destination as the Higurashi Tool Shop before allowing his feet to carry him on pure muscle memory. He wasn’t in a hurry, so he spent the better part of an hour just taking in the sights and sounds of Konoha. Everything seemed just a little brighter than usual, the smiles on people’s faces more prominent, and the sounds emanating from the crowds less annoying.

Smiling in amusement, Wu softly hummed, “I had heard that having sex could change how people viewed the world, but I had never imagined it to be a literal interpretation…I could get used to this…”

Spurred by his words, Wu was about to break his rule about not flying over Konoha when a peculiar sight caught his eye. Sasuke and Sakura were roaming around together, and the former didn’t appear too annoyed despite the latter clinging to his arm and giggling like an idiot. They were clearly on a date, but instead of messing with them, as he was very prone to doing, Wu just exhaled a chuckle and mused, “It seems Spring is in the air…” before leaving the young couple to their business.

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As it had been three days since she expected Wu to show up, Tenten was beginning to feel slightly exasperated. She knew there had to be a reason for him not to appear, but she would be disappointed if she found he had left the village without at least informing her parents…

Fortunately, just as Tenten was thinking about visiting the Sarutobi Estate directly, her mother called up to her, shouting, “Tenten! Your beloved Wu-kun is here~!” in an audibly teasing tone.

Though no one was around to see her, as far as she knew, Tenten rolled her eyes before rushing over to her door. She expected to find Wu down in the kitchen or the living room, so she nearly bumped into him when she opened the door to find him right outside.

Taking advantage of Tenten’s forward momentum, Wu caught her in his arms, a teasing smile on his face as he said, “Got ya…”

Turning her eyes up, Tenten reciprocated Wu’s embrace before asking, “Where have you been, Wu? I’ve had to train on my own since you didn’t show up.”

Though he guided her back into her room first, Wu adopted a wry smile and replied, “I…kind of got married…”

Blinking nearly a dozen times in rapid succession, the smile on Tenten’s face became noticeably more artificial as she asked, “Care you explain?”

Nodding his head, Wu said, “That’s exactly what I came here to do. But you should probably sit down first. It’s going to be a doozy…”

“Right…”

Allowing Wu to guide her to the bed, Tenten sat down, her brief stupor replaced by a serious expression as she stated, “This had better be good. Hinata and Naruto are still together, as far as I’m aware, so who could you have married in such a short period?”

Scratching the back of his head, Wu’s smile became even wrier as he said, “Yeah…that’s the doozy part. For a variety of different reasons, I ended up getting hitched to your childhood hero, Senju Tsunade. Since then, we’ve spent the past few days…consummating our relationship…”

As the gears in her mind ground to a halt, the expression on Tenten’s face froze along with them. Wu had told her about the incident where he gave Tsunade a peach, but this was the first time she was hearing about them being in a relationship. She knew Wu wouldn’t lie to her, but as someone that had been obsessed with Tsunade since childhood, Tenten couldn’t wrap her head around the notion her boyfriend had married someone in their fifties…

Fortunately, or perhaps not, Wu was ready and willing to give her an in-depth explanation of the events that had transpired. Beginning with his discussion with the Third Hokage…

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(A/N: Peerless under Heaven…!)