I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

Breakdown I

They mocked me, calling me a decrepit old monster over a thousand years old, but their assessment was utterly mistaken.

Originally, Old Man Scho was the type to describe raindrops falling beautifully in autumn from a stormy sky as, "Huh, these H₂Os are committing mass suicide (he actually said this)." He’s a caustic critic with a twisted tongue and a crooked spine.

Why should I be bothered by the reviews of such a wretched scum?

Referring to me, the Undertaker, with ageist terms like old man or decrepit monster is entirely inappropriate. There's no need to even mention curses filled with hatred and contempt for humanity, like old geezer or boomer.

More neutral titles like 'sunbae' or 'teacher' would be much more appropriate.

A sunbae refers to someone walking ahead.

As a regressor, I, the Undertaker, am always one step ahead of others. It's not about seniority, but quite literally, I'm the sunbae to all humans. Why? Am I wrong?

The same applies to 'teacher'.

Biologically, there are plenty of people older than me. But in terms of mental age, who is older than me? As Old Man Scho said, I'm well over a thousand years old. Thus, I am the teacher of all humans. How about that? Am I wrong?

"What are you talking about, you damn boomer bastard...?"

"......."

However, very few people actually used the titles 'sunbae' or 'teacher' for me.

No, it's not just rare. There were even more old people who persistently called Old Man Scho 'teacher'!

Oh, what a pity.

How can I not lament? That scum being called a teacher? Even in this land once called the country of courtesy, the three bonds and five relationships are torn apart.

But just as heroes appear in times of chaos, there are also sages in times of confusion.

"Oh, doc sunbae!"

A necromancer of the Korean Peninsula, who insists on wearing a white sailor uniform like the white-clad folk rather than black.

The almost only person who calls me 'sunbae', and the 113th student council president of Baekhwa Girls' High School, and the guild leader of Baekwha Guild.

"Sunbae!"

Occasionally, while walking down the hallway of the National Road Management Corps headquarters, I would hear someone calling me, and every time, the owner of the voice would run up with energetic footsteps and greet me with a big smile.

It's a pleasant sight.

Even in the cycle where zombies were rampant on the Korean Peninsula, in the cycle where 'Academy City' was established, and even in the cycle that led to the end of the world, she always had that same smile.

A smile fixed somewhere. A stuffed expression.

"Undertaker sunbae, where are you going~?"

"......."

This is a story about names. About the time it took for the title 'sunbae' to change to 'teacher'.

Let's talk about the Apostle of the Outer Gods, Cheon Yo-hwa.

If I had to pick the two people I least wanted to get involved with on the Korean Peninsula, the first would undoubtedly be the Sword Marquess of the Mount Hua Sect, and the second would be Cheon Yo-hwa.

Go Yuri? First, we need to define whether she’s even ‘human’ or not, so let's exclude her.

If it weren't for the information obtained from the Fairy King in the 89th cycle, I would never have approached Cheon Yo-hwa.

-Tutorial Dungeon Baekhwa Girls' High School.

-The survivor there, Cheon Yo-hwa, is the chosen Apostle of the Fairy King.

I felt like Sherlock Holmes hearing the name James Moriarty.

Or like a general witnessing Cao Cao’s preferences for married women. Suddenly, I realized, "Oh, I've lived my life to hunt down this bastard."

Moreover, in terms of villainy, Infinite Void was a cut above Moriarty.

Unlike Moriarty, whose demonic nature was immediately exposed by Sherlock Holmes’ clairvoyance, Infinite Void never revealed itself until the 89th cycle. I didn't even have a name to call it, so I gave it the name Infinite Void.

Cheon Yo-hwa was the only continuous suspect among these teacherminds of teacherminds, villains of villains.

The little detective inside me couldn't help but eye her intently.

And of course, my detective skills were far superior to those of any British drug-addicted hedonist. That guy can’t even turn back time.

"Seeing your hair color, you must be Cheon Yo-hwa? I've heard a lot about you from the others."

"Oh..."

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In the 109th cycle, as I described before, I went to 'Baekhwa Girls' High School Tutorial Dungeon' six months after it opened and met Cheon Yo-hwa.

"I heard a very smart and quick hubae got elected as student council president. The news spread through our alumni network. By the way, I also worked in the student council and am now the alumni president."

"......."

Cheon Yo-hwa, captured!

Thanks to this necromancer, several good things happened, such as the development and nationwide distribution of the 'AI Judge' on the Korean Peninsula... but there was one minor problem.

Actually, it wasn’t minor at all. It was quite serious.

"Yo-hwa."

"Yes, doc sunbae!"

"Are you perhaps close with fairies?"

"Eh?"

"You know, the fairies from the tutorial. Or maybe you've connected with some greater being through such fairies. If you have such experiences, please let me know."

"......."

Blink. Cheon Yo-hwa blinked her eyes.

"Fairies? Sunbae?"

"Huh?"

"Is that some kind of code? Or a novel? Oh, come on, sunbae. There’s no such thing as fairies in the world. You’re teasing me too much—."

"...No, what are you talking about. In Baekhwa Girls' High School, the tutorial dungeon occurred. Naturally, there were tutorial fairies. You guys cleared the tutorial after struggling without any external contact for 11 months..."

"11 months? Um... Ahaha. Sorry, sunbae. I have no idea what you're talking about. Huh. Could it be, sunbae... Are you involved in some cult or something?"

"......."

"Oh my! No way! My family has also been entangled with cults a lot, so I know this well. You must never, under any circumstances, get involved with those!"

Highly developed physiognomy was indistinguishable from clairvoyance.

To my eyes, which had studied physiognomy for over a thousand years, Cheon Yo-hwa didn’t seem to be lying.

My academic achievements hit the mark.

"Kyaaah! A goblin appeared!"

"...? Sunbae, why do people call wolves goblins?"

"Ten Legs is invading! Let's fight back!"

"Aaaah! E-Earthquake! Sunbae, it's an earthquake! Get down—!"

"......."

Cheon Yo-hwa couldn’t perceive anomalies as anomalies.

Goblins looked like 'wolves', and the rampage of Ten Legs was understood as an 'earthquake'.

The same went for other anomalies. Once, I even captured a fairy and brought it before her eyes.

"Wow! A cat! So cute!"

She hugged the fairy and rubbed her cheek against it. Even when the fairy said, "Heck" "Let me go!" using language, it sounded like a cat's hiss to Cheon Yo-hwa.

Her brain, her perception system, was broken.

It was as if the part of the brain that recognized anomalies had been surgically removed.

"...I see. No wonder I can’t get meaningful information about fairies or Infinite Void from you."

"...? What did you just say, sunbae?"

"Nothing."

I frowned at Cheon Yo-hwa, who suffered from selective auditory impairment like a protagonist in an outdated light novel.

Maybe even that 'perception contamination' was manipulated by Infinite Void.

Indeed, a true mastermind, unlike those attention-seeking pseudo-villains in fiction who scream "Notice me!" to everyone.

I investigated Cheon Yo-hwa as much as possible.

I found out that her family was located in Sejong City, was quite famous as a local gentry, and that their mansion was enormous.

Magnificent tile-roofed houses.

The land size was 14,990 square meters. The mansion was nestled on the slopes of Mount Wonsu, overlooking the government complex of South Korea.

The aboveground preserved the traditional Korean house style from the Joseon era, but the underground, not open to the public, hid modern buildings.

However, there were no significant gains. Some documents remained in the mansion, but there were no survivors or witnesses.

The best I could deduce was that Cheon Yo-hwa's father was on the board of directors of Baekhwa Girls' High School.

It seemed that Baekhwa Girls' High School itself was built with the support funds from this family.

So Cheon Yo-hwa was not just an ordinary student or student council president, but rather equivalent to the 'young lady' of a private school foundation.

Other than that, the discovery of a pile of Taoist scriptures, including Laozi's "Tao Te Ching," in the underground facility was noteworthy.

Still, I couldn’t escape the maze with just this information and circumstances.

"One last question, Yo-hwa. I briefly investigated your family. Your father's surname is Cheon (千), but you use the surname with the other Cheon (天). Do you know why your surname was changed?"

"Eh? No? This is the first time I've heard of it... I have no memory of my family at all. Besides, investigating my family? That's a bit scary, sunbae..."

...A strategy revision was inevitable.

Meeting Cheon Yo-hwa after she broke out of the tutorial dungeon by herself was ineffective. Too much information had been lost.

I needed to meet Cheon Yo-hwa from before that time, when she was still wandering in the dungeon called Baekhwa Girls' High School.

An impossible feat without traveling back in time.

"Got it. Yo-hwa, see you next time."

"Yes? Yes, sunbae! See you next time!"

And fortunately, I was capable of such acrobatics.

As I, the first human to uncover it, had found out, the 'Tutorial Dungeon' was an artificially created void by Infinite Void, essentially a human laboratory.

Like other laboratories, the tutorial dungeon also strictly controlled external access to prevent incidents that would raise a graduate student's blood pressure, such as virus infiltration, computer theft, or data loss.

Therefore, the tutorial dungeon remained closed until it was cleared.

Even the 'clairvoyance' of the Saintess couldn't inspect this closed space. It was impossible for an external person to forcibly open and enter the lab.

Yes, 'a person' could not.

"Let's go, fairy number 264."

"Hooey! Yes, following the Comrade Leader’s orders...!"

Even if the lab was sincere about blocking physical viruses, it was a different story when it came to mental viruses.

Fairy Number 264, infected with the strongest virus in human history, marched vigorously towards Baekhwa Girls' High School.

Creak-

Even the gate of Baekhwa Girls' High School, which no human could cross, couldn’t stop our advance. Like the barricade in Paris in 1832, the gate recognized the revolutionary comrades and opened softly.

(Congratu) Seo.,; University 2 Admitted! (lations)

A worn-out banner fluttered. As someone who firmly opposes academic elitism and educational background society, I always left the possibility open as to whether it was Seoul National University, Sogang University, or Seokyeong University.

Maybe a fierce battle had already taken place. Not only the banner but also various parts of the school gate were destroyed.

The name plaque, which should have been elegantly inscribed with the school name in Chinese characters, was partially damaged, leaving only '■■女子高等學校'.

"Comrade! The vanguard has opened the blood path!"

"Hmm. Let's advance."

The flowerbeds surrounding the academic buildings were filled with blooming red spider lilies, also known as Lycoris Radiata. Beyond the hill of spider lilies, white birch trees formed a forest.

The fairy shouted towards it.

"Full speed ahead! Perish the oppression of the bourgeoisie! For the Comrade Leader, I will lay down my life!"

The moment we set foot inside the school.

"Heeek?"

Bang!

Sensing the intruder, the security chief hurriedly ran out from inside.

Of course, the real security guard was lying dead near the gate, and this was just a new fairy wearing an armband in the 'Baekhwa Girls' High School Tutorial Dungeon'.

The opposing fairy, upon seeing us, was shocked and her eyes widened.

"Fairy? Human? Heek? Why a human?"

"Hoek! To distinguish fairies and humans by race! Humans can only be distinguished by ideology...! That one is surely a lackey of the bourgeoisie!"

"Heek? Heek? Heek?"

The opposing fairy was confused.

"I-I am fairy number 16, responsible for this tutorial! It's highly suspicious to intrude with a human without prior notice...! State your rank and name!"

"I am number 264! My number is revolutionary as bestowed upon me by destiny! Despicable bourgeoisie lackey, surrender your head to the guillotine!"

"Heeek! Rebellion! It's a rebellion! Guards! Guaaardsss!"

The moment fairy number 16 pulled out a magic wand to kill us, our number 264 also grabbed her magic wand.

"Where do you think you're going―"

"Heek!"

Bang!

The fairies exploded simultaneously. The explosion was perfectly timed.

There was a sad story behind this. Originally, all fairies were created with exactly the same combat power.

When fairies decide to fight each other, the outcome was destined to end in mutual destruction. If this were a martial arts novel rather than modern fantasy, the protagonist might not be them, but they could certainly be listed among the "Top 10 Memorable Side Characters Who Died Elegantly." If it were the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, they could be brothers who kept the Oath of the Peach Garden.

‘Now, Infinite Void's surveillance of Baekhwa Girls' High School would be temporarily gone.’

From now on, speed was of the essence.

First, I stripped the uniform off the guard's corpse and stuffed it into a leather trunk. Then I entered the school building.

I was already familiar with the building’s structure from previous cycles, but indeed, as expected of the void, the geography was constantly twisting in real time.

-Uoooooo...

-Hee, hee, hee, hee.

See? Just setting foot at the entrance, all sorts of bizarre sounds warmly welcomed the visitor.

This place was no longer Baekhwa Girls' High School.

'School Ghost Stories'.

Whether it’s toilet ghosts or the seven mysteries, all the anomalies related to the ‘school’ were realized in this labyrinth.

There were 750 people trapped in the void 'School Ghost Stories'. All were students of Baekhwa Girls' High School.

After 11 months of struggle, only 19 would survive... and two of them would soon jump off the roof to commit suicide. Considering that in 'School Ghost Stories,' suicides were virtually murders by ghosts, those two should also be counted as victims.

A survival rate of 2.26%.

The worst tutorial dungeon on the Korean Peninsula.

But... no matter how strong the anomalies and void are, or rather, the stronger they are, the more room for maneuver exists.

I call this the pain point of anomalies or voids. So-called weak points.

The difficulty of the void varies greatly depending on whether you know these weak points or not.

The old adage 'Knowledge is power' by Bacon became even truer at the end of the century.

So here's the question.

What is the most suitable weak point that an outsider, especially an older man compared to Baekhwa Girls' High students, can exploit in 'School Ghost Stories'?

What disguise should I use to navigate this place without appearing 'suspicious' in the void?

"...Alright. Found it."

The answer was written on the document I held in my hand.

[Baekhwa Girls' High School Guard Shift Schedule]

I quickly wrote my name in the last slot with a pen I brought from outside.

Then, I hurriedly changed into the guard uniform taken from the school gate. Hat on the head. A nameplate reading 'Guard Undertaker' pinned on the chest.

Disguise complete.

"...Ah, this cold and heavy feeling. It's been a while."

Lastly, I held the must-have item for a guard, a 'flashlight,' in my left hand. My reflection in the duty room mirror was perfect.

Now, this Undertaker would be working as a school guard in this cycle.

The strongest job in 'School Ghost Stories' had arrived.

Footnotes:

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