Chapter 206: Arwin’s True Feelings (3)
Chapter 206: Arwin’s True Feelings (3)
The sound of knocking in the dead of night woke me from my sleep.
- Thud, thud, thud, thud.
For some reason, the noise didn’t feel unfamiliar.
This sudden situation didn’t even surprise me.
Perhaps it was because I’d kept my nerves on edge for so long, always sharp and ready.
Even though the exhaustion was piling up, I had found ways to cope.
I opened my eyes, seated beside Ner.
Tonight, I didn’t lie with her on the bed.
Though she had wanted me to, her body was still radiating heat.
The healthier she became, the more fiercely her body seemed to fight.She still needed complete rest.
So instead, I held her hand, offering whatever comfort I could.
I felt this would continue until she fully regained her strength.
With a sigh, I rose from my seat.
“...Ha.”
I wondered what was happening this time.
This role, this place—none of it truly suited me.
I didn’t want to live every moment under such tension.
But, of course, for now, I had no choice but to carry out the duties I’d been given.
Ner, feverish and restless, remained asleep, unaware of the commotion.
Her breaths came in short, uneven intervals as I watched her carefully.
Leaning down, I pressed a kiss to her forehead before quietly getting up.
As I stepped out of the room, I saw Arwin standing in the shadows, watching me.
She observed me as I awkwardly exited Ner’s room.
“...”
I had already told Arwin to leave this territory.
Stockpin was currently bracing for the threats drawing near.
For someone who valued her life above all else, there was no reason for her to stay here.
Especially now that she no longer loved me as deeply as she once had.
I met Arwin’s gaze evenly.
She hadn’t yet told me what decision she had made.
The tension between us hung thick in the air.
Without another word, I walked past her and opened the main door.
Baran was waiting outside.
“...Baran. What is it?”
“Captain.”
Baran, as always, brought troubling news in the middle of the night.
I knew this burden was hard on him too, and yet I couldn’t help but feel grateful.
Still, I carried the guilt of constantly asking him to shoulder these burdens.
“...Refugees have entered the village. They’re Lizardmen from the Cryer family’s territory.”
“...”
I quickly grasped the unfolding situation.
If it was the Cryer family’s territory, then it was the land anyone would inevitably have to pass through before reaching Stockpin.
It wasn’t hard to deduce that the residents had fled from Krund to avoid danger.
“...They’re asking for help,” Baran said.
“...”
Selfishly, my first thought was the state of our own village.
Surely, they must have been desperate when they came to us for aid... but we weren’t in a position to be generous either.
I asked Baran, “...How many?”
“About fifty.”
“...Haah.”
A weary sigh escaped me as I stood there, frozen.
What was I supposed to do with them?
If they were some band of brigands with malicious intent, the solution would have been simpler—drive them out without hesitation.
But refugees weren’t so easily dismissed.
“...Berg.”
At that moment, Arwin grabbed my arm from behind.
When I turned to her, she spoke with a hesitant expression.
“...We’re short on hands as it is, aren’t we?”
“...?”
“...Why not let the refugees in and use them to fill the gap in labor, at least temporarily?”
She wasn’t wrong—Stockpin was still in dire need of manpower.
There were many sick to care for, bandits roaming the area, and weeds overtaking fields faster than we could manage.
“...And it could help our reputation...”
“...”
Perhaps she was right—helping the refugees might benefit us more than simply turning them away.
As Arwin suggested, our reputation was something we had to be mindful of.
It was as if she understood that one of my greatest concerns was fulfilling Adam Hyung’s dying wish.
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“...”
Given that the Reiker family now represented the Human race, our actions carried significant weight.
We needed to set an example by acting with greater care and responsibility.
My deliberation didn’t last long—thinking about it further wouldn’t change anything.
Eventually, I nodded toward Baran and said, “...Let them in.”
“...Understood.”
“Baran, there won’t be any proper place for the refugees to rest.”
Most of our remaining spaces had already been repurposed to treat the sick.
Baran nodded in agreement.
“I’m aware. They’ve only asked to be allowed into the village, nothing more.”
I nodded back and asked, “...Are there children among them?”
I had always tried to consider the well-being of children, but ever since Sien and I had our own, I found myself more sensitive to their needs.
Baran confirmed, “There are.”
I told him, “...If the kids are hungry, give them some food.”
“Of course, Captain.”
After giving all my orders to Baran, I nodded briefly to dismiss him.
Baran bowed his head respectfully before leaving.
As I closed the gate behind him, I turned around.
Arwin was still standing there.
“...You made the right choice,” she said.
I could only hope she was right.
****
The next day, I received a letter from the royal family.
From last night’s refugees to this morning’s letter, it felt like the tides were shifting quickly.
Arwin, just as surprised as I was by the news of a letter from the royal family, stayed close to me.
She seemed convinced that the king intended to issue a command.
But to our surprise, the letter was lighter in tone.
It wasn’t an order but a recommendation—one made for our benefit.
‘For safety, the Red Flames group is advised to retreat from Stockpin and join forces in the capital.’
Not the Reiker family, but the Red Flames group.
From the very term used to address us, it was clear they valued our strength.
As the rumors suggested, the king was indeed preparing for war.
Arwin let out a sigh of relief when she realized the letter wasn’t demanding us to march out and fight Krund immediately.
“...At least it’s better than I feared.”
Gale agreed as well.
“His Majesty isn’t reckless. It’s only natural. Fighting together offers better odds than going at it alone.”
The two of them seemed to view the king’s proposal positively as their relief was evident.
I, however, remained the only one unable to come to a conclusion.
“...”
Whether the suggestion came from Gale or the king himself made no difference to the reality we faced.
We still had far too many critically ill people, with no means of transporting them.
If we abandoned Stockpin, what about next year? Could we leave behind the comrades buried in this soil?
Would fleeing now truly be the right thing to do?
I still couldn’t make a decision.
Arwin, unaware of my swirling thoughts, spoke up.
“...Berg. This seems like the best option.”
“...”
I couldn’t respond to her.
Instead, I found myself gripping the letter tightly, unable to let it go for a long time.
“...Berg?”
Her voice carried surprise at my indecision, as though she couldn’t understand why I hadn’t made the obvious choice.
- Clink.
She grabbed my arm, blinking at me as if urging me to act.
“...Berg. You have to run. You told me Stockpin was dangerous and that I should leave, didn’t you?”
“...”
“...Let’s leave together. Let’s go to the capital, rally the strength to defeat Krund, and take the refugees with us. Even His Majesty is suggesting this... isn’t he?”
“...”
As I remained silent, Gale spoke softly from the side.
“Berg. You still haven’t decided?”
Arwin turned to him, startled.
“...What?”
“...”
“What... other choice is there?”
I closed my eyes, setting the letter down, and sighed deeply before taking a few steps forward.
The more pressure mounted on me, the more time I seemed to need.
Was it truly such a simple choice?
Why couldn’t I choose escape as easily as everyone else seemed to think I should?
Sure, if we fled, we might save our lives.
But would that be enough?
Could survival alone justify abandoning everything?
Would it truly end there—leaving behind the comrades buried in this soil, abandoning the home we fought so hard to protect?
I couldn’t tell if it was just me who felt this way or if it was a difference in how we perceived things because of our differing races.
But one thing I knew for sure: running didn’t feel like the right choice.
****
From a distance, Arwin followed Berg.
She kept her distance, watching him as he walked, sighing heavily with every step.
She already knew he was struggling.
But the deeper his conflict seemed, the more anxious Arwin became.
What could he possibly still be deliberating over?
If they stayed here, they were all doomed.
That much was certain.
No one was prepared for war, not in the slightest.
No one had expected Krund to appear so suddenly and throw everything into chaos.
Though Krund wouldn’t be able to overturn the entire kingdom, he would leave devastating scars on some territories.
And one of his targets was undoubtedly Stockpin.
Arwin knew this, of course.
How difficult must it be for Berg to let go of this land?
How agonizing must this choice feel for him?
But no matter how painful, surely anything was better than losing his life.
Berg moved, heading toward the gravestone of Captain Adam—a place he always sought out when struggling to make a decision.
Arwin, who had watched him through the bluebird for the past two years, knew this better than anyone.
Berg sighed as he brushed the pollen off Adam’s gravestone.
He still hadn’t truly let Adam go, unable to even carve an epitaph onto the stone.
‘...What should I do, Hyung?’
He whispered the question to Adam, as if hoping for an answer.
Arwin could no longer hold back and approached him.
She felt a desperate need to convince him.
She wanted to share centuries of life with him, no matter what.
If things went wrong here, all those dreams and plans would crumble.
“...”
All she wished for was Berg’s safety.
She thought it might be better for him to retreat into a quiet forest, away from conflicts and wars.
A peaceful life, far removed from strife, where he wouldn’t have to endure such struggles.
Wasn’t he already suffering so much now?
“...Berg.”
Arwin spoke to his back.
“...Let’s run away. Together.”
“...”
“...We’re not ready for this, not even close.”
Berg didn’t answer.
He just sat there in silence.
Arwin, growing increasingly frustrated, began to press him.
“...Why can’t you make the obvious choice? If we go to the capital, join forces with the royal-”
“-And leave my comrades behind?”
Berg interrupted her, his voice calm but heavy, carrying a depth Arwin couldn’t fully grasp.
“...”
Her mind flashed to the stories Sylphrien had once shared with her.
The hero Felix, though often afraid, had to muster courage in the face of trials.
Sylphrien herself despised conflict but believed it was her duty to protect harmony amidst chaos.
And Sien, the saintess, who had to suppress her feelings for the one she loved.
And finally, the Warrior of Solitude, who longed to stay with his comrades yet was destined to face repeated farewells.
“...”
Arwin didn’t want to think of Berg as the Warrior of Solitude.
She refused to entertain the thought.
Because most Warriors of Solitude met their end once the war was over.
And if Berg was indeed the Warrior of Solitude…
If Krund was still waging war…
...then Berg might also meet his death.
Such maddening thoughts arose, pushing Arwin to stubbornly insist that Berg couldn’t possibly be the Warrior of Solitude.
But each time Berg refused to avoid a fight, her unease grew stronger.
It was obvious that joining forces with the Draigo family would increase their chances of survival.
Even so, Berg was unwilling to flee, unable to abandon his comrades.
“...”
Arwin, frozen by his response, asked softly,
“...What could possibly be more important than your life?”
“...”
“Berg, there’s so much beauty in this world. If you die, you’ll never get to experience any of it again. Why do you keep forgetting that?”
She gazed at his silent figure, standing so still before her.
To her, Berg was like a flower—breathtakingly beautiful, yet so fragile, as if he might wilt at any moment.
Perhaps it was that fleeting brilliance that drew her even closer to him.
“...No, Arwin.”
“...What?”
“It’s because I know… that I’m trying to protect it.”
It was a response so uniquely Berg.
The more he eluded her grasp, the more Arwin longed for him.
His beauty filled her with unease, a creeping fear that she might never truly be able to share a life with him.
“...Arwin,” Berg said, turning slightly toward her. “As I told you, you need to leave Stockpin first. It’s not safe here, just like you said.”
His words left Arwin speechless.
She couldn’t offer any argument, not a single reason to stay.
“...”
If not for Krund, perhaps Arwin would have left quietly, choosing to linger near Berg in her own way, waiting for another opportunity.
But what if there was no more time?
What if this was the last chance?
That question made her heart overflow with emotion.
The request she had been saving for the perfect moment—perhaps now was the time to say it. Maybe it would change his mind.
Arwin blinked slowly, calming herself before speaking.
“...Berg. I was saving this request for when the crops sprouted, but... I’ll say it now.”
“...”
She swallowed hard, knowing how pivotal this moment was.
Her heart felt like it couldn’t endure any longer, watching him embrace Ner while pushing her away.
She had tried to bear it, but it was easier said than done.
Hearing the word “request,” Berg turned to look at her, curiosity flickering in his eyes.
It was as if he was ready to repay her for everything she had done for him until now.
Arwin met his gaze, her voice trembling as she whispered.
“...I want to give you a gift.”
“...?”
“And I want you to treasure it more than anything else. It’s the greatest gift I can give you...”
Berg looked at Arwin and asked,
“...What is it?”
Arwin, having made up her mind, met his gaze steadily.
This was something she had wanted to give him for two years now.
“My lifespan.”
Her words froze Berg in place.
He seemed to doubt what he had just heard.
“...Lifespan?”
He repeated the words, his voice laced with disbelief.
“...Any experience, any emotion—none of it is possible without time. I want to give you that time. I want to give you the resource to endlessly create new memories and live new experiences.”
“...Arwin.”
Berg tried to interrupt, but Arwin didn’t let him speak, continuing instead.
“Please, keep living as you are now. Be happy with Sien, with Ner, and with the child who is yet to be born. Never forget that you carry my lifespan. Never forget that you, too, have become one of the long-lived. Cherish your life, Berg. Don’t take any more dangerous risks. Live fully, enjoy every happiness... and when your time as a short-lived being is finally over, then...”
She clamped her mouth shut, unable to say the words that followed.
But the look on Berg’s face suggested he already knew what she was going to say.
Arwin moved closer, kneeling beside him where he sat. Her trembling hands, unsteady since she began her proposal, reached out to hold him.
“...So please, for now, run away. Your survival is more important to me than anything else.”
Berg frowned, as if struggling to comprehend her words, and asked quietly,
Before addressing anything else, he asked the most fundamental question.
“Why would you go this far...?”
“...You really don’t know?”
Arwin countered, her voice carrying a faint edge.
“...”
A crack appeared in Berg’s expression, a momentary lapse in his usual composure.
Seeing this, Arwin could no longer suppress the truth she had been hiding.
“I’m sorry for keeping it from you. But haven’t you, at least in part... suspected?”
“...But you don’t...”
Before he could finish, Arwin cut him off.
“Did you really believe something like that?”
“...”
Seeing the uncertainty growing in Berg’s eyes, Arwin leaned in and whispered, her voice clearer and more resolute than ever before.
She revealed the depth of her heart in the moment she least wanted to.
“...How could I ever stop loving you...”
– – – The End of The Chapter – – –
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