Isekai’d Shoggoth

Chapter 13: Meeting The Squire (Also Teasing My Maid)

The sun is close to the horizon when we finally return to the dorm. This is fine. Dorms don't really have any set curfew right now, though that might change when the studies actually begin. The long outing had done wonders to my nerves. I am, in all honesty, happy right now. Which, of course, is the sign for the world to go ahead and try to spoil it. Because we run into one hunky fellow that I'm really having contradicting feelings about right now. On one hand, Alistair McGregor is a decent person, if overly fond of a good brawl. On the other, he is the best friend and closest confidante of Edward, which definitely means he is going to have exactly as much beef with me as Ed does. And given his expression, he's here to make things... annoying. Though, once he takes a good look at my companion, his expression notably softens. Moon Unit is that nice, yes. Hands off, Alistair. MINE.

"Lady Gillespie." - he offers with a short bow, then nods towards my companion - "I'm afraid we haven't been introduced yet, milady."

Suppressing a groan, I step in. "Hello, Alistair." - I offer simply. Unlike Ed, I have had intermittent contact with McGregor throughout most of my teens - as a page he had been all over our county while in tutelage from old sir Manfred. Sir Manfred, just so we're clear, is an old knight in king's service who had upon Alistair's promotion to squire retired to his granted barony in father's domain. Nodding towards Moon Unit, I offer - "Alistair, meet Moon Unit. She had left Evergreens recently to receive an education in Academy. I'd be grateful if you make a consideration of that. Moon Unit, this is squire Alistair McGregor, firstborn of sir McGregor. He is going to attend the Academy with us, unless something had drastically changed since last spring." He sketches a quick bow and kisses Moon Unit's hand, making my irritation spike. MINE. Back off. Thankfully, he does not linger.

"Lady Gillespie, prince Edward had expressed concerns over your absence. He thought you would inquire upon him as soon as he situated himself in the dorms." - he proffers - "Am I right to presume you have actually been out in the city since morning and had not been in fact aware of his arrival until now?"

"Yes, indeed." - I retort - "I have had the good fortune to befriend my lovely companion yesterday and asked of her to accompany me to the bazaar. We had a lovely time together, and I am afraid I have somewhat excessively prevailed upon her time in my curiosity. Visitors from Evergreens are quite a rarity nowadays."

He chuckles - "Yes, indeed. Entirely understandable. I do confess, I have had been told you went out with a companion, but for some reason it had been impressed upon me that it was a gentleman you were with. I do apologize for my hasty presumptions."

Moon Unit snorts next to me, her eyebrow quirked. "No gentlemen here, good sir squire." - she quips - "Just us chaste maidens." Oh, yeah, she understands what he's about. To his honor, Alistair does look quite bashful. Oh well, it was harmless enough.

"Alistair, would you be so kind to inform prince Edward that he may call on me when he finds it convenient to talk?" - I offer - "He was not available for meeting the day before yesterday, even though I was supposed to meet with him while my father had an audience with the king."

He frowns. Opens his mouth to say something, but reconsiders almost immediately. I can practically see him reassessing the situation in his head. "Ah. Again, my apologies. I was not aware of that either. In all honesty, I had been visiting sir Manfred in his domain and had only returned to the capital this morning. While we are at it, may I offer my compliments on the new roads? I was able to use a stretch of it heading towards the Parsee, and I was deeply impressed by the quality. To think that worthless tar could be put to such great use..."

"Not to tout my horns, but yes, I'm quite pleased with the results. His highness expressed interest in the tar roads as well, you know? Should nothing go awry, we should be able to enjoy the tar-paved highways throughout the whole kingdom in two years or so. There is no lack of tar nor gravel in the mountains, after all." - I agree. I'm honestly pleased as a punch with those. Logistics are the lifeblood of the kingdom.

He nods with a grin - "It would make travels easier. But, I do believe I've taken enough of your time. I shall depart and inform Edward that you are amenable to meeting at a convenient time. Good evening, ladies."

Moon Unit snorts again, as he departs. "I'm beginning to see why you're not enthused about the engagement." - she offers quietly - "Honestly, getting jealous about your fiance having friends in your own gender?" I pat her shoulder wordlessly as I shake my head. Ed, pick something. Either you're avoiding me or you're hovering over me possessively. You can't have it both ways, and drafting Alistair to do it for you is not making this any better.

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Since it is not quite close to bedtime yet, I invite Moon Unit to my room. Both to introduce her to Bridgit and to feed her a peppered omelette. The introduction goes really well, and I breach the subject of getting the honey and ouzo from the market, because I did promise a lesson on making a cure for cold, and Moon Unit of all people would take to it like duck to water, because healing magic is a subsection of light magic. Bridgit surprises me by bringing out both. The further surprises me by also bringing out a box of dry mint. The smirk is not really on her face, but I see it in her eyes clearly. Well played, Bridgit, well played.

However, the food clearly must be had first, and I task Bridgit to put up eggs to fry. Normally, that would have required a visit to kitchens, but one of the first enchantment attempts I made is basically a hotplate. Yes, I am lazy and like to have things as convenient as they can be. Bridgit is, understandably, appreciative of this. Moon Unit, on the other hand, seems fascinated by the concept of utility enchantments and watches the hot plate intently as Bridgit cracks some eggs onto it. Meanwhile, I put a few pepper seeds into the handmill and grind them down. Much to my surprise, the taste of pepper is not overwhelming capsaicin as I have feared after my mint expressions. I'm guessing people had enough time to do a selection breeding on pepper to bring it down to useful levels.

"Well, let us eat." - I proffer cheerfully, as Bridgit presents the plates. At my insistence, she gets her own share and sits at the table with us, something that makes her a little nervous at first. The fact Moon Unit does not object nor seems to be displeased calms her down soon enough. Omelettes are good. Very good. I missed pepper, I did.

"Mistress, what was that herb? It really makes omelettes different." - Bridgit quips after working through her portion. She nearly chokes when I explain that it was pepper. "But! BUT!... Pepper!? The same pepper that is traded by gold in weight? Mistress, why are you wasting all those expensive spices on me!?" Yes, Bridgit is really cute when she fusses like this.

"Why not?" - really, why not. "It's not like I can't afford it, you know?" - I quip - "Really, Bridgit, you should know better by now. Why don't you set up some cava? Make sure to make a cup for yourself too. Maybe add milk to all cups except mine, it is rather late and I'd rather not make you or Moon Unit lay awake in bed all night."

She huffs, mutters something vaguely sounding like "Oh, really." and busies herself with the beverage.

"First pepper, and now cava? My, my, you're really spoiling me here." - my elven waifu pitches in with a smile - "I don't know how will I ever repay that."

"Ah, just enjoy it. Your smile is all the payment I'll ever need." - I toss back carelessly - "Now, while Bridgit is making our drinks, let's talk about cure. It's fundamentally simple, you simply dilute honey with ouzo until it's thin enough to drip off the spoon, then stir in crumbled mint. The real secret is that you push in a little healing magic when it's nice and even. Not any specific spell, just generic "feel better" notion. If you ever had the training for "Nicks and Cuts", it is the same thing, just pushed into the mix instead of in the nick."

We pass time making more of the cure, Moon Unit grasping the concept with envious ease. "This is not just against the cold, is it?" - she muses, as she holds up the jar to the light - "This is literally a "feel better" in a jar. Why do we even put the herb into it? Honey is a base, I get that, and ouzo is a fine medium for holding enchantment, but I don't see what mint has to do with anything."

I simply smile and hold up a full spoon towards her. She rolls her eyes playfully, but dutifully laps it up. AAAAnd here we go. Oh, that face expression is priceless.

"Well." - she offers after a few moments of silence - "It might be a cure, but it feels like a squall inside your nose. Oh, now I get it. The healing is just a part of it, the other part is blasting everything out of the stuffed nose with overwhelming force, isn't it?"

"That too. Also, it makes your breath fresh." - I add lazily - "Take a spoonful in the morning, and you will feel the difference all day." She eyes the cure appreciatively.

"You know, that alone would make sure it sells well." - she admits - "You're honestly amazing, Alyssa. Roads, cure, saving the dwarves..." She chuckles at my expression - "Yes, I heard about that. The whole kingdom probably did, by now. You and your father are doing a great thing for them, you know? You are making them people again. Not scattered refugees, as they were until now, but people with their own fate and place in the world. They will remember you for centuries for that alone, mark my words."

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Well... As much as I would have liked it otherwise, in the end I had to bid Moon Unit good night and let her return to her room. (Note to self - procure cuddles. Stat!) Bridgit is rather pensive when I return from the door. "Mistress." - she finally asks - "Is that an elf thing, or she's just so pretty that even women want her?"

She surprises me into a bout of a belly laugh. "The second, I'm afraid." - I offer in return - "Elves are generally pretty folk, but... Let's just say that even among elves, the general consensus would be "She's very very pretty". Why, did you also get the urge to pet her head and feed her grapes?"

Bridgit finally realizes just what she blurted out and to whom and reddens so much it spreads all the way down her neck. In fact, I'm pretty sure even her breasts are blushing right now, though I obviously can not verify this. Not without really souring my relationship with my maid, at least.

"I. i... I'm deeply sorry, mistress, I let my mouth run too much." - she stutters, fidgeting and wringing her hands - "I shouldn't be thinking that kind of thoughts about students anyways, it's... aah, improper."

"You shouldn't blurt them out in public." - I correct her - "But nothing prevents you from appreciating what you saw in private. I certainly don't. On an entirely unrelated note, help me out of my dress?"

Oh jeez. She's going lilac. And stuttering. And wringing her hands. "Come on. I want to go to bed already. It's been a long day." - I nudge her.

"Mistress, you're awful." - she bleats as she obediently comes over and starts undoing the numerous ties that hold my dress together from behind - "What would I do if you make me think about you like this, ah?"

"I don't really mind." - I reply honestly, rather distracted by the stubborn hook on the glove. The way she gasps does tell me I've just dropped another bomb on her already quite cratered mindscape.

"...This is very improper, for a maid to lust after her mistress." - she finally offers, her voice small - "Please don't encourage me, it is bad enough as it is."

I give in to the urge. And pet her head. "Shh. Don't worry about it so much. I won't tease you... much. Take your time to work those feelings out, it'll help you in the long run." - I offer to her before spinning her around to undo her dress.

"Aaaah! Mistress, what, why, are you going to?!" - she yelps, trembling as I push the dress off her. Having fine work tentacles on demand is very convenient for quickly undoing all the ties.

"I'm putting you to bed." - I breathe into her ear, making her squirm and hug herself around the waist - "Nothing more than that. I might be shameless, but I like to think I'm also considerate of my people. Ne?"

She's oddly quiet after that. I'm... on the fence about it. On one hand, I kinda sexually harassed my own maid, which is a dick move. On the other, she clearly finds the notion enticing, if not socially acceptable. On third, I did limit the teasing to just teasing and did not go further than would be generally expected of a noble lady and her personal maid. If some of the stories I heard are truthful, not even close. Oh, yeah, I have had been keeping an ear out for rumors and gossip whenever possible, and the information is promising. First of all, there is no religious bias against homosexualism. Second, there is no such word as "homosexualism". Instead, there are "sodomy" for men, and "skinship" for women. Which is very weird, because the world does not even HAVE the requisite religion and its associated mythos to explain the existence of the word "sodomy". Finally, the last thing is that it is generally expected AND socially acceptable for noble women to have skinship with their maids or companions. I'm not exactly certain on why, but so far the evidence points towards it being a natural development of conflicting needs to remain faithful to husband and of having to spend long stretches of time alone while husband is out and about gallivanting with armies. As such, "skinship" is not considered cheating, though it is generally expected to be kept "in-house" by keeping a cute maid or scholar. Going out to other noble ladies for this is... not unheard of, but generally uncommon. On the other hand, "sodomy" is VERY much considered cheating on the husband's part. I have no idea why. It's also rare, and people who practice it are generally known as very eccentric.

I don't really sleep. I definitely don't dream. But I can sort of... go dormant. It's not a true sleep, I'm still aware of my surroundings and can transition to action at a moment's notice, but to the rest of the world, I appear to be deeply slumbering. I can also push it further, and then it would look like I died. Which is a horrible trick and I ended up inventing raspberry pie just to have a suitable treat to tender my apology to Sally and Louise who discovered my "corpse" that morning. But tonight? I am drifting off. Something is odd. I have grown used to not dreaming, so why this is happening now? Why it feels so odd?

My dream... Is a municipal park near my first home. Not in this world, in my life prior to transmigrating. It's pretty empty at best of times, in the dream it's downright abandoned. I feel awkward standing in the middle of it in my shoggothy self. I don't belong here. Not anymore. I would probably drive people insane with my mere appearance here. Gosh, what if someone shows up? I mean, it IS my dream, but I don't dream normally! It's an odd dream. Who knows what might happen, and I certainly do NOT want to see people going nuts. Thankfully, I am shoggoth. I have options. This particular time? I squish down and layer myself on top of an empty flowerbed, pretending I'm a shrubbery. It works out surprisingly well. I'm a shrubbery. With red menacing eyes peering from within. So very templates. Much clich.

"...Alyssa!... Alyssa! Where are you?" - now, what in the name of all things odd and even is Moon Unit doing in my dream? Because, folks, this is genuine article. I don't feel her as I feel the rest of everything here. She's.. coming from outside. How ever so very curious.