Isekai’d Shoggoth

Chapter 36: In Which I Talk A Lot

In the end, I bake four pizzas before Bridgit and Selene are back. And they're back with a veritable army (I jest. A platoon, at most.) of servants carrying additional linens, toiletries, clothes and who knows what else. I have a sinking suspicion Bridgit took it as an opportunity to really stock up on things I don't pay much attention to. I did give her... How much it was again?... I think a little bit over two hundred gold. Just in case. This is more than enough to buy out most of the farmer's square. Or one booth in the merchant square, heh. And... Selene is munching on a whole loaf of walnut bread.

"Appreciatin' the shop, oh most benevolent and wise one." - she offers, giving me a bow. I'm pretty sure she's jesting. "You didn't tell me you also opened a separate storefront for commoners." - she continues - "Really good bread there, by the way. You sure don't do things by half, do you?"

Sighing, I go to fetch Moon Unit. She's just reading on her bed. Huh. Wonder why she didn't come back if she's done here. So I close the door behind myself, and lean over to kiss her forehead. "Hey. Dinner's hot, so let's go eat." - I offer to her. She looks up and frowns. "Can we talk first?" - she asks softly. Darn. That sounds... complicated. So I take a seat. "Yes?"

"Are they going to be your wives too?" - she asks me. Direct much, Moon Unit? I shrug.

"I do not know." - I tell her simply - "Moon Unit, understand me right. I do not choose wives. I present myself in the best light and let them choose me. If either of them finds me attractive enough and proves herself to be willing to get along with you and Bridgit, I'll consider it. If not... then not."

She tilts her head. "But... you have a princess now. Won't she outweigh a commoner and a maid?" - she asks, fidgeting nervously.

"Irrelevant. If the princess can not be at peace with my maid and my scholar, then I don't want the princess, simple as that." - I tell her - "Look. I understand this is going against social expectations. And you have rational doubts about it. This is fine. This is reasonable. I really don't have any better reassurance than to kiss you and say yet again that you're not going to be pushed away from me, by the princess or anyone else."

She still looks dubious, but leans closer. Damn. I really, really, really do not want her or Bridgit to just assume they're going to be discarded and start acting on it. So I lean in and kiss her. I suppose I could be forgiven for not paying attention to much of anything else when the door swings open again. Gah. And, of course, it's Roxolane. Who blushes up a storm, stammers something vaguely apologetic and backpedals so hard I think there are skidmarks on the floor now. Oh well. I suppose there are worse ways to break the news. So I stand up, help Moon Unit up (who is blushing hard, but is smiling now) and go back to my room. Where Roxolane had stuffed herself into the furthest corner behind the table and gives the best impression of I walked in on my parents having sex, please pretend I don't exist embarrassment. Lily-Anne is trying to figure out what is going on, Bridgit is facepalming, and Selene and Rafiqa are observing the situation with notable entertainment.

"What did you do?" - Lily-Anne jumps into the fray, grabbing my elbows and staring at me with a comically serious expression - "Why's Roxy acting so weird? Were you doing some..... eeeeelven thing?" She says the last two words in 'eeeeeeeerie' whisper, which is... just stupidly cute on her. Childish, but cute.

I sigh. Rub my forehead. "Something like this." - I tell her then, as I turn to Bridgit and lean in, kissing her soundly. Lily-Anne SQUAWKS and retreats back behind the table, her face color quickly matching Roxolane's. Selene guffaws, while Rafiqa dons an expression that could be called flabbergasted in the same way a tsunami could be called a wave. Wrapping my arms around my waifus, I face the remainder of the horde firmly - "I'm in a relationship with those two, and I was feeling like reaffirming it. Coming home with three more girls in tow did cause a bit of mixed signal here, so..."

Silence descends on the room, interspersed only with Selene valiantly fighting her laughing fit down. Rafiqa finally closes her mouth and grins strangely. "I... have heard about this but never seen it with my own eyes." - she admits - "And I hope you're not offended, but I'm not interested in... that kind of relationship. I desire someone all to myself."

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"Entirely understandable." - I tell her - "You are your own person, and certainly can make your own decisions regarding whom you court, and whom you want to be courted by."

She sighs a little and smiles - "Thank you. The liberties northern women have... It's simply mindboggling. If anyone ever told my father he picked a fight with a woman who has her own harem, he would probably have a stroke."

I wince. "Well, Rafiqa, I would appreciate if you make a distinction. I might have a harem, maybe. But I would NEVER resort to force or coercion to fill it up." - I tell her, some of my conviction on the topic coloring the words - "I do not see the numbers as something to achieve. I merely count my blessings and appreciate I have my girls to love me."

She seems to be... more than a little befuddled by this. But also notably impressed. And this is where Lily-Anne butts in. "So... Can anyone else join?" - she asks. Holy fuck, Lily-Anne, why. You're supposed to be mildly embarrassed and pretend it never happened. Not ask for admissions. Selene gives her thumbs up and a grin that makes me want to stuff more bread into her mouth to shut her up.

I sigh. "Lily-Anne..." - I continue, feeling both Moon Unit and Bridgit tense up. Of course things would come straight to fucking head off the get-go, what the fuck is my life, even. "Fine. Here are three conditions one must fulfill. Condition one. I must like you. If I don't like you, you're not going to be in a relationship with me, period. Condition two. You must like me. If you don't like me, why would you ever want to be in a relationship with me? Don't answer that, rhetorical question. Don't like gold-diggers, don't care for political marriages. Condition three. You must get along with girls I've already claimed. I will not have a torn home. Everyone must accept and like each other in order for addition to be successful. And no, I will not consider... 'exchanges'." I hug my girls closer. "Once you are a part of my family, the only way to leave is by your own volition. I will SHELTER, PROTECT AND TREASURE those I love, this I am certain of."

Oh. Shit. Conviction impressed. HARD, if the faces around me are of any indication. I wonder if I can dupe them into assuming it's simply a magical outburst coming out of deep-seated conviction... AAAnd they all give a collective shake (save for Moon Unit and Bridgit, of course, who are much more used to me), and go back to the conversation like nothing had happened.

"Is this what the marriage is like in the north? Because I think I like that idea." - Rafiqa quips - "To love and be loved... This is incredible."

I can see Roxolane being... conflicted. Lily-Anne is, rather obviously, aiming to insert herself, and I'm... not sure what will come out of it. I think I should be keeping a close eye on her and temper her attempts not to alienate my waifus. What to do with Roxy, however? She is obviously liking the "love and be loved" idea, but is fearful of anything that revolves around the harem concept.

"Um..." - she ventures softly - "Won't we be, um... in the way if we sleep here?"

I snort - "Not really. Selene had slept with us before, she can confirm nothing untoward happens. I might kiss Moon Unit and Bridgit good night, that's about it."

Selene helpfully pitches in - "Yeah, totes fine. Besides, sleeping in a cuddle pile is like... the safest feeling ever. I'm tempted to invite myself for another sleepover, buuut you already have your hands full right now, aincha?" And she winks at me. And worse yet, Lily-Anne also winks at me. The fuck, people. What am I going to do, cook chocolate pudding at four in the morning?

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Pizza. The greatest distraction. They didn't pay attention much when I was making it, but that is mainly due to Roxolane trying to be invisible while Lily-Anne and Rafiqa compared notes on being a princess. Rafiqa had come a distant second, by the way. The difference in treatment is stupefying from bits and bobs I overheard. Lily-Anne was brought up like a proper princess. Education, etiquette, physical conditioning, the works. In comparison, Rafiqa had been drilled HARD on "woman-appropriate" topics and left completely ignorant on anything else. And her own physical exercise all revolved around looking sexually appealing. Which means I have my work cut out with her. Lily-Anne, in comparison, would probably need at most a refresher on some of the purely magical disciplines. Roxolane is... inbetween. She had a pretty broad education back in Kraina, but Confederacy is not quite on the level of Champagne, so she has a bit of work to do to catch up properly.

Back to our muttons... Pizza. They also didn't pay attention because I conjured a new pan for each one. Now, as I crack them open? Everyone starts sniffing the air. Selene, Moon Unit and Bridgit are already grinning in anticipation. The other three are confused and trying to figure out what is that they're smelling, and why is it so good. Thankfully, a lot more foods are eaten with fingers in Sultanate, so it's not a hard sell for them... Lily-Anne, however, requires a bit of an example and a clean rag to wipe her fingers on, just in case. And then they all bite in (after appropriate warning about cheese, of course, I might be a monster, but I'm not monstrous) and now they're making... noises. For fuck's sake, people, it's just pizza. It's not baked orgasms.

Fine, fine, I'm just... grouchy. Calming down. Dinner actually goes really well. Bringing out tea and sweets after pizza is done with brings the mood up all the way to joyous. Even Roxolane is defrosting. A little. While the girls are giggling and swapping stories about me (Goodness, why. Why me? Why not yourselves?), she pulls me aside with an indication she wants to have a conversation.

"Yes?" - I quip to her - "What's on your mind?"

"Why are you doing this for me?" - she asks - "I can understand why you're looking after Rafiqa, she's sheikha of Sultanate, runaway or not. But I'm just..."

I bap her forehead lightly. "You're a girl who needs help." - I explain to her - "You, if I understand your situation right, did not volunteer to marry Sultan, did you? No, you were abducted from your home. Why wouldn't I help?"

She tries again. "But I have nothing to offer... I thought you'd just take me to Champagne and then I'd find myself a job at a caravan or something and make my way home... somehow." - she trails off, as the enormity of the path ahead dawns on her. She'd need to get over the mountains separating Champagne and Kraut, cross Kraut, then pass through several likely hostile Confederate states before she would enter her own country. That's a long journey. And traveling by sea, while easier, is very liable to put her back in contact with Sultanate again, which she desperately does not want.

"Let me tell you about my plans a little." - I offer - "You see, I want to take Thousand Isles from Sultanate. I have cursed the entirety of the country, making it very hard for them to maintain any army or train any mages, and I have more in mind, if needs be. In the end, I intend to break Salaadin, to make him come to me on his knees and offer up a part of his country to spare the rest of it. His son, Abbas, had offended me greatly, and Salaadin had the utter gall to tell me he will decide whom I am to marry after I beat the champion of Abbas into the ground in a duel. So, yes. I want to, and I have the means to destroy their pride. To take away the unthinking arrogance he has in considering himself the most powerful man in the world."

...Is it making her... excited? Good grief, it is. She is getting aroused listening to me venting my bile about Sultan's follies. Time to amp it down a little, I really don't want to embarrass her. "So..." - I continue - "My options regarding you are as follows. Primo, I can give you enough money to hire a group of mercenaries to escort you home. Good mercenaries, the kind that put their reputation ahead of their greed or loins. Though, I don't know your current situation at home. For example, I don't know if the rest of your family survived the raid. Or if they still live where they used to be. So, in the worst case, you will end up back at your home country, but alone and with limited funds. Secundo, you can stay with my court, so to speak. I'll pay to have you enrolled in this Academy and personally tutor you to make sure you meet the grade. The course here will take three years normally. By the end of this time, I expect to be officially in control of Thousand Isles. One more year to revitalize the shipbuilding and inject some investments into local merchants, put down more cava and other cash crops, and I will be ready to visit any country at Mittelzea. Including, yes, Kraina. Which is when you can come with me and visit your country as a powerful and valued associate of a wealthy trading house who will establish trade agreements and generally command respect and assistance from locals. The first way will take about a year traveling, give or take, because mountains are hard to traverse and moving through Confederacy is unpredictable. The second way will take a better part of five years, but in return you will reenter your country with your future very well assured. Pick which is more preferable to you, and I'll make it happen."

She looks up meekly. "But... what do you get out of this?" - she asks.

"Well... In the first case? Admittedly, not much. Maybe a friendly face once I put my plans into action and visit Kraina five years from now in search of trading partners. If your family survived, if you found them, and if they are wealthy enough, then I might even have a favorable local partner. And if not wealthy enough, well, at the very least you would be able to vouch for me that I won't cheat people. In the second, much more. Mainly, because if I invest in your education, I will also employ you once you graduate. I'm not sure what is going to be your strong points yet. Maybe you're good with magic. Maybe you're good with numbers. Maybe you're good with people. I can find a use for anyone, and I can be pretty certain you will work hard to ensure your own future." - I explain to her.

Roxolane sighs. Steels herself visibly for a 'big question' - "Will I... be required to join your harem if I want the second way?"

"Required, no." - I deny - "Getting into a relationship with me and my wives is wholly separate from this. And yes, I expect anyone wanting in to be on close and amiable terms with everyone in my family. I want a harmonious household. Should you ever come to want this, we will discuss this separately. And if it does not appeal to you, we simply won't touch the topic anymore. Regardless of which way it goes, my offer about education and employment is on the table. All I ask from you is honest work in making your own future. With or without me in your life."

"And if I make something of myself? Why wouldn't you want to get a firmer hand if I am worth something in the end?" - she objects. Getting a little heated here, Roxy?

I laugh. "Let me tell you how I ended up with two girls." - I begin - "Bridgit, I actually grew up with. My father took her in as a maid apprentice when she was nine, and she was basically growing up next to me as my maid. Moon Unit, I have met in this Academy a few days before the term started. I was a bit starstruck about striking up a friendship with an elf. But, and I want you to pay good attention here... I did NOT expect either of them to want to be mine. I was making some tentative plans to maybe court Moon Unit at some point, and did my best to avoid even thinking about Bridgit that way because I was afraid she'll assume it's either this or being let go. And then, one beautiful day, I walked in on them. Naked on my bed. Asking me to come and play with them to my heart's content. Turns out they were talking behind my back, found out each other likes me like this, and conspired to get me together, since they didn't want to hurt each other." I sigh and smile. That was really nice. Ah, fond memories.

"So... I did not pick my harem. My harem picked me."