Chapter 205 - Letting You Go (1)
Once they arrived at home, Li Chuntao couldn't contain the rage she was feeling after hearing Yao Qigang's words. No matter what people say, the pain she felt after her twin sister's death cut deeply into her heart. There wouldn't be any logical reason for why she would never be able to accept Ying's death.
Li Xiuying wasn't supposed to die. She should have been living with her, helping her raise the child she was carrying. If Li Xiuying hadn't died, she would probably give birth anytime soon. They should be celebrating by now, yet Li Chuntao would never be able to see her sister's smile again.
"Everything alright?" Shen Zichen's voice broke her from her trance. When did he arrive? Didn't he just leave for the grocery store?
Li Chuntao had failed to notice that Shen Zichen had already come home from the store as she sat in a daze on the couch. She blinked twice before nodding in response.
Shen Zichen placed the bag he brought in with him on the kitchen counter before taking a seat next to her. Taking her hand in his, he twined their fingers together and looked at her face. She looked healthier now. It's a relief that she decided to file for leave of absence at work to focus on her pregnancy.
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Months had passed but the pain of losing her twin was still fresh for Li Chuntao. If she could be honest with herself, Li Chuntao thought that she would have lost her mind if it wasn't for Shen Zichen and her Uncle Yuren and Auntie Yue.
Her hatred against Lin Meirong and Yao Qigang had consumed her until she had no other reason to live but to seek revenge for her sister's death. However, now, she and Zichen were blessed with another child. A child she hoped wouldn't end up like their Zirui.
She considered her husband's suggestion to migrate, away from everyone's prying eyes so they could start anew. It wasn't a bad idea, but she didn't think it was fair for Shen Zichen to leave his family for good.
His whole family was here and Li Chuntao didn't want him to regret his decision to move away from his family. How would she be able to face her in-laws then?
"Don't overthink, Chuntao. Everything will be alright." Shen Zichen whispered next to her as she felt him kiss her temple gently.
"Don't tell me everything will be alright. It's not that simple!" She insisted.
"Yao Qigang is already behind the bars and there's no way he would be able to come out. Even Mu Jianyu has nothing now but the bastard child Lin Meirong had with another man. He's facing the consequences of his actions. And with Lin Meirong having cancer, tell me Chuntao, what else do you want to do to placate your anger?"
What else indeed?
How would she ever make peace with herself? How could she accept the reality that Ying was gone forever? That no matter how Yao Qigang and Lin Meirong suffered, it wouldn't change the fact that Ying would never return. Sometimes, Li Chuntao wished that she and Zichen could have reconciled in a different situation, and not because Ying's death brought them together.
Revenge, hatred and pain were consuming her, but it wouldn't be good for her and her baby if this continued. She didn't think she would be able to take it if she lost this child too.
Shutting her eyes, Li Chuntao inhaled a few calming breaths. Ever since Ying's death, she started having anxiety attacks, which would hit her once in a while, something she'd purposely kept from Shen Zichen. However, he was able to find out about it when he came home during one of the episodes she had.
Li Chuntao hated that she was reduced to this by those people who hurt her sister. She hated that her seemingly peaceful life was crushed by other people's greed and malice.
"Zichen, do you mind if we leave after I gave birth? I don't want your parents and my Uncle Yuren and Auntie Yue to miss their chance to see our baby's birth." She told him as she laid her head on his lap, letting him play with her long tresses.
Shen Zichen stilled for a moment, giving it a good thought. However, that would also mean that they would need to hide her pregnancy from the public, else it would be hard for Chuntao to shed her guise as her dead sister in front of everyone.
He'd already discussed the possibility of migrating with Li Yuren and his father, and both agreed that it would be better for their sake, to live in peace, so Li Chuntao could start anew with her own family.
"If that's what you prefer." He could never say no to her wishes anyway. "I'll see if I can find somewhere private where we could stay."
"There's no need for that, Zichen. The Li family has a private villa away from the city. We can stay there." Li Chuntao informed him.
Since the Meng family had decided to move out and start their new lives, the private villa where they stayed for months was now vacated. The place would be good enough for them for the meantime.
The villa was secluded and safe from prying eyes. It was located on a piece of private land that the Li family owned and was rarely used by the family. Only the locals and some of the family caretakers knew about the existence of the place. This would give them enough privacy to live in peace.
"Alright. I'll arrange for our move there." Shen Zichen agreed easily. It would also save them time from trying to find a safe place where she could stay during her pregnancy in peace. As for her medical checkups, he was sure that the Li family and his parents wouldn't mind setting up a private team for Li Chuntao's sake.
Hopefully, she would also learn to slowly move on from the need to go after Lin Merong, since the woman's remaining time was also limited.