Losing My Religion

Part 2, Chapter 11

Lily

During Amber’s strange call, she’d told me she would come over with Katie in tow and we could discuss going to Hell. 

While waiting for Amber and Katie to arrive, I was mulling over the idea of going to Hell. The idea of escaping, of getting away from the people that wanted to hurt Katie and I was obvious, but as far as Hell was concerned, I had some reservations.

Despite those reservations, based on Amber’s phrasing, and my own understanding of the situation, there was one thing I needed to take care of if I was going to be in Hell and leave her behind. And if we never made it to Hell, a likely outcome in my mind, my preparations could still be useful. 

Sophia left to go make herself a sandwich, and I got to work at my desk.

I finished just before Amber unlocked our front door and entered. I left my room with an envelope, hiding it behind my back and waving with my free hand.

Katie sat on the armchair and dropped a backpack on the floor, while my two girlfriends and I used the couch. The two of them weren’t quite cuddling into my body from either side, but they were still loosely connected to me by lingering hands resting on me. I placed the envelope in front of me on the floor, out of the way until the unlikely event that it would be needed.

Sophia started the conversation, “Hello, Katie. I’m Sophia, your sister’s girlfriend’s girlfriend,” she smiled, suppressing a giggle at her own strange introduction.

Katie adopted a bemused expression and some of the tension escaped her, “Nice to meet you… Sorry we won’t get much time to talk, apparently my sister is sending me off to eternal damnation?”

Amber rolled her eyes, “Hell isn’t like that… Maybe…” she shook her head, “It’s almost certainly not like that for demons, I think.”

I interjected, “So why are we going to Hell? How are we going to Hell?”

“I think it would be the safest place for you to hide while I find a permanent resolution to my mother’s meddling. It would also help buy me some time to play the good daughter, since with you in Hell, it would be really easy to pretend you were dead.”

She sighed, eyes glancing between Katie and I, “As for how… That’s up to you demons to figure out…”

“So you’re just sending me and Katie off to hide while you take care of everything yourself?” I frowned, not bothering to hide my distaste for the idea.

“It’s not like that, this is just the best way to stall while we think of a more permanent solution, without worrying about an assassin coming for either of you,” Amber pleaded.

Sophia stepped in, placing a reassuring hand on my arm, “And she won’t be alone, we can work together on this,” her eyes met Amber’s, her face wearing an exaggerated smile, “Right, bestie?” 

The look shared between them wasn’t friendly, nor was it loving, both things that I hoped to see. Instead, it was a shared determination that brought about the temporary truce. 

Despite the apparent truce, the prospect of leaving the two alone, potentially without any communication between us, left phantom itches across my skin and a stone in my stomach.

I shook my head, regathering my scattered thoughts. “And how will Katie disappearing help your ruse, wouldn’t that make your mom more suspicious, or at least hurt any chance of Katie staying stealth?”

Amber raised a finger, “That would be the case, if she was just disappearing, but as her teacher I have the power to take her out of school and send her on magical errands, so it’s trivial to provide cover for her.”

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A silence settled over us as I turned over my thoughts in my head. 

The three of them stared at me, waiting for my input. “When did it become my decision?” I whined.

Amber shrugged. “I’m proposing sending my baby sister to a foreign country, I’m not happy doing that without you there to look after her…” She looked down sadly.

Ugh, she doesn’t like this any more than I do, does she… 

“So… If we go, how are we supposed to get there?”

Sophia relaxed behind me, caressing her hand up and down my back. 

Amber, the center of all of our attention, sighed and whispered a thanks to me. “Um… So I was hoping you two would be able to figure out how to open a portal or whatever,” she gestured between Katie and I, “I figured Lily should have plenty of energy…” her voice trailed off, growing quieter as her face grew redder.

I stared, confused yet again by a more timid side of Amber.

Katie, on the other hand, was happy to act her part as a sixteen-year-old. “Eww, gross! I do not need to be hearing about your ‘energy gathering activities’,” her face scrunched up and she stuck her tongue out. 

I honed in on what Amber had said, strangely not feeling shame about what I’d done in the morning. “A portal… I guess that makes sense as a way to Hell. It would have to be some kind of transportation, whether it was a portal or a teleportation.” I started feeling out my magic, trying to find something portal-y.

Katie groaned. “I don’t have enough energy for anything; it’s hard enough getting enough from our sisters just to not feel exhausted – I can’t afford magic at all, let alone any portal-ing.”

I stifled a groan of my own, the knowledge that the plan rested on my shoulders settling into my mind. I quickly shifted gears, “If you need more energy, I’m happy to help. I always wanted a little sister.” It wasn’t necessarily true – I’d always wanted an older sister, or any mother figure at all – but it was close enough to the truth. 

Katie looked away from the couch, blushing. “It’s fine – spending time with Amber helps a lot…”

I laughed and leaned into Amber, happiness flowing into me. I’d already felt secure in my decision to forgive Amber – as much of a decision as I’d had in the first place, given how fond my heart was of her – but somehow the bond she had with her little sister reinforced that decision in my mind. My feelings were justified; Amber was as kind-hearted as I thought she was.

While I was basking in sappy feelings, the conversation continued around me.

Katie spoke first, bulldozing through her embarrassment. “So, while Lily is figuring out how to send us to Hell…” her eyes focused on Sophia, “How’d you end up in this mess, and what flavor of creature are you?”

Sophia hugged into my back, pressing me further into Amber, easily picking up on my cuddly mood. Her torso vibrated with amusement when she heard Katie’s question. “Lily and I went to the same church for a long time, and we recently grew closer… As far as the supernatural nonsense–”

Amber huffed under her breath, “It’s not nonsense…”

Sophia continued, “–I’m just a human in over her head. I read a few accounts of demons living on earth, but it was just a weird research binge for me, I never thought it would be useful.”

Katie hummed thoughtfully, “And you don’t have any insight into Hell?”

“Nope. I knew just enough to not freak out when Lily transformed in front of me the first time, but unless you want to know the details of the life of Zerithar the demon during the mid 1800’s, I’m not going to be of much use.”

“Uh, no thanks…” Katie eyed Sophia skeptically, expression asking why she’d been interested in the subject enough to read it in the first place. When no answer came, she changed topics. “Ugh, I can’t wait until I’m older and I can form my own harem, you gals are so lucky.”

She flipped her wrist out, gesturing her palm up, and continued before anyone could respond. “Yea, yea, yea, I already know it’s not a harem it’s a polycule – I’m way more up to date on queer lingo than you all were back when you were my age… But it’s just like – teenage girls are so dumb, everyone says they’re bisexual but then you ask if they want to bang a succubus and suddenly you’re a weirdo. I just want to be in college where everyone is at least a little gay…” She huffed a sigh and ended her rant.

A moment of silence stretched out where none of us knew how to respond. Personally, I was baffled by an overwhelming barrage of cultures I’d never been privy to – primarily the struggles of a queer high school girl – which were completely at odds with my experiences. I was also still half-thinking about going to Hell, probing around with my magical intuitions.

Amber finally responded, sounding very mom-like, “You’d better not be running around telling your classmates you’re a succubus…” she pinched the bridge of her nose, “and not every college woman is gay, everyone kissing a woman in college is just a stupid myth.”

“That’s so not true,” Katie protested, “Which one of you had kissed a girl before you were in college?”

None of us raised our hands. Does it even count for me? 

“See? I’d totally try to pick up college girls but the only ones who would respond would be creeps… fucking sucks…” 

Amber stiffened in my arms, “Please don’t proposition adults…” her tone was tired, and I had to stifle a giggle at how deep into the role of mothering Katie she was.

“Ugh, I literally just said I knew better.” I couldn’t see her face, given I’d just buried mine into Amber’s arm, but I could hear Katie’s eye roll.

I shot up, no longer wedged between my girlfriends, when my magic found a portal-shaped thing I could do. “I found it!?” my tone grew from excited to questioning, uncertainty seeping into me. I knew I could make a portal, I just wasn’t sure if it would go to the right place.

Everyone stared, realizing at different rates what I meant.

Katie stood, glancing at Amber and quickly shifting gears. “So… how and when are we supposed to come back?”

Amber answered, “The portal should work both ways, although you might pop back out somewhere else on earth…” she shrugged, “As long as you don’t travel too far in Hell, you should be fine. Although maybe try picturing our dorm when you make the portal to come back.”

I nodded absentmindedly, still reeling from the fact that I was going to Hell.

Sophia nodded as well, chiming in, “Ohh, like Minecraft rules, that makes sense!”

The three of us stared at her, varied expressions of confusion on our faces. Minecraft is a video game… right? What does that have to do with portals to Hell?

She coughed, cheeks reddening, “Never mind… Uh, so next Tuesday is a good return date?”

A round of nods and shrugs followed; it seemed a good time as any, minimizing the time Katie and I would miss class, given Monday was a holiday.

Katie spoke, sounding way too enthused about our trip, “Sounds good! Are you ready, Lily?’

My brain scrambled around, already having come to terms with the how I was going to get there as well as the why, but not how I felt about it, or whether it was practical for me.

I was already behind in my studies after missing a week of class, and although it was still the beginning of the semester, I was not the kind of student that could miss any class, regardless of how difficult the lecture was. Spending time in Hell would certainly exacerbate that issue, and unless I was planning on transferring to Hell University and studying demonology – or whatever the hell demons studied – my life would become aimless if I was forced to drop out.

Not to mention the fact that I was already struggling on the monetary front. While I was sure my girlfriends – and Chris too – would help me out before I starved or went homeless, I didn’t want to have it come to that because I was being a dumbass and paid for classes that I didn’t even try to pass.

On the other hand, it wasn’t like I had any idea what I would do with my degree when I got it, and maybe going to Hell would provide me with more information on how demons lived and made a living.

I was also worried about Amber and Sophia, and leaving them behind, even if it made strategic sense to me, still left me feeling deeply uncomfortable. 

Still, the fact that I needed to protect Katie and the fact that me being away would help keep Amber and Sophia safe too by placating Amber’s mother easily made up for my discomfort and spurred me on.

I stood and turned around, facing Amber. “Promise me you won’t do anything dangerous or impulsive,” I gave her my best doe eyes.

“I promise.”

I turned to my other girlfriend, “Promise me you’ll talk some sense into her if she gets a terrible idea in her head?”

She smiled and nodded.

I pulled them both off the couch and into one big hug, kissing them each on the lips softly. “I love you both, please stay safe.” This is going to be awkward if the portal doesn’t work…

“You two stay safe as well. You can try to find shelter in demon society… but Katie and I brought a hiking pack, just in case you can’t find it, or it doesn’t work out,” Amber said.

Katie picked up her backpack and showed it off for a moment before slinging it across her back. It was black, thin, and had those crisscrossing elastic straps going down the font that I had no idea what they were for.

I turned my focus inwards before I could get distracted or my embarrassment at my heartfelt farewell could materialize – although there was a chance that it never would, given how comfortable I’d been feeling expressing my love for my girlfriends. Magic swirled in me feeling like a warm blanket or a cup of tea that was always the perfect temperature. 

One moment I was basking in the feeling of warmth, slowly piecing together in my mind what the portal was supposed to look like, and the next my eyes were open, the orange oval in front of me about six feet tall and three feet wide. The edges were solid orange, while the middle had an opaque rippling effect, waves of darker shades forming and dissipating constantly.

I blinked, hardly believing it had worked. There’s a portal to Hell in my living room. My life…

I bent over, picking up the envelope I’d prepared earlier, and handing it to Amber without a word, trusting her to figure it out.

I grabbed Katie’s hand and pulled her closer to the swirling mass, not wanting to waste energy keeping it open any longer. With one last wave at my partners, Katie and I stepped through the portal and were sent to Hell.