Merchant Crab

“Excuse me, coming through,” a girl’s voice said from around the corner. “Don’t mind me letting myself in.”

Pulling on the iron bars with his pincers, Balthazar stretched his eyestalks out of the cell to see Olivia Marquessa joining the young guard and his commander in the dungeon corridor.

“You can’t be down here, young lady!” the commander exclaimed.

“You’re absolutely right,” the mayor’s niece responded. “And that crab over there shouldn’t be here either, so let’s get him out of that cell and we’ll be out of your dungeon in no time.”

The tall man in a cape scowled and stretched his neck forward at the young woman. “Get him out? That crab is under arrest at my command, and in this place, I call the shots.”

Olivia stretched her own neck up at the commander and placed her hands on her hips defiantly, despite being much smaller than him. “Arrested under what charges?”

“Multiple!” the commander said. “Disturbing the peace. Trespassing on private property. Breaking and entering with his accomplices who are still at large. And above all that, assault on two innocent citizens!”

“You mean two bandits?” the girl said, crossing her arms.

“Do you have any proof to back your slander, Ms. Olivia?” the spiteful man said with a snarky smile.

“None you’d care to take seriously,” she replied. “But you don’t have any proof against Balthazar either, so we’re leaving.”

“Yeah!” exclaimed the crab from behind the bars. “I still don’t know what a lawyer is, but I want her to be mine!”

Turning a couple of shades redder, the commander exhaled sharply before raising his voice. “This is my prison! You have no authority to release anyone here.”

“No, I don’t,” said Olivia, her eyes rolling briefly and her voice hesitating a moment before continuing, as if her next sentence felt painful to say. “But my aunt does, and she ordered Mr. Balthazar’s release immediately.”

The young woman pulled out a rolled-up piece of parchment with a red ribbon around it and held it up in her hand for the other two to see.

“What?!” the commander barked, his face turning another few shades redder. “Why would the mayor interfere with my… with the guardsmen work?! This should be none of her concern!”

The niece of the baroness simply shrugged.

“Don’t ask me. I’m just the messenger, here to deliver the orders.” She turned to the younger guard. “So let’s hurry up with it. Go on, unlock his cell and let him out already.”

The visibly nervous young man jumped in place, as if startled by the acknowledgement of his presence there. He quickly grabbed the large metal ring attached to his belt, fumbling with the many keys on it as he looked for the correct one.

“You’ll do no such thing,” the commander commanded from his commanding position of command.

Balthazar groaned from his spectator spot. That man was starting to really annoy him. Who could this mysterious “she” figure be that had him so ferociously determined to keep him locked up in there?

“I’m still your superior,” the caped man continued, “and in here you do as I say.”

The nervous young man looked back and forth between the girl and his commander, visibly conflicted over what he should do.

“Sure, he’s your commander,” Olivia said. “But may I remind you that you owe loyalty to this city above all else? The city, which is represented by the mayor, Baroness Marquessa herself, who expressly ordered the release of this innocent crab from the city’s jail. So I recommend you let him go now, unless you want me to inform the mayor’s office of your treason.”

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The young guard gulped, his eyes wide as he rushed down the corridor to Balthazar’s cell, which he quickly unlocked and opened with trembling hands.

“This is an outrage!” shouted the commander. “She will—I mean, I will not stand by this! The mayor interfering with the execution of the law is an absolute breach of power. On what basis would she undermine the authority of this city’s guardsmen? Let me see that decree!”

“Be my guest,” the young woman said in an uncaring tone as she handed the scroll to him. “Now come on, let’s go Balthazar, we have urgent business to tend to.”

“We do?” the surprised crab said as he walked out of the cell to a very hurried Olivia who promptly started pulling him toward the exit.

“Oh yes, lots!” she replied, walking fast past the younger guard and the commander, who was unfurling the piece of parchment with a frown.

“Wait, my backpack!” Balthazar said, stretching his pincer to grab his baggage as they passed the shelf at the corner.

“Eggs and flour?!” the caped guard muttered as his eyes squinted at the paper he was reading. “Wait just a minute! This is not a decree from the mayor. This is a shopping list!”

Olivia pulled the merchant harder through the door. “Really? Must have been a mix-up. Feel free to check in with the mayor’s office in the morning. Gotta go now, bye!”

“Stop!” yelled the commander. “Seize them!”

But by the time his yell finished, the young woman and the crab were already skidding out of the guardsmen office and onto the open street.

“How did you mix up a decree from the mayor with a shopping list?” Balthazar asked with a bouncing voice as he ran up the sidewalk, dragged behind the girl by his claw.

“I didn’t,” she replied, glancing back at the group of guards rushing out of the barracks.

“What then?” said the merchant.

Olivia rolled her eyes as she sped up to a sprint. “I was sending the commander to do my grocery shopping, obviously.”

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

“Really?” the crab said. “That’s a bold power move, Olivia.”

“No, of course I wasn’t, Balthazar! I was being sarcastic! I thought you were supposed to be clever.”

“I don’t think very well when I’m hungry,” the crustacean said as the girl dragged him around a corner. “Or when I’m running!”

“There’s no way my aunt would sign a decree interfering with the law,” the young woman said, stopping under the archway of a building and pulling Balthazar out of sight as she watched the main road. “If I went to her for help, her stupid bureaucracy would take days to get you out, if it even did at all. When your friends found me I just had to improvise. So… I bluffed.”

“Oooh,” said the panting crab. “Bluffing. I get it now. I like your style, girl. Well done.”

“Yeah, well, you can thank me later,” she said, peeking around the corner. “Because now you, me, and your friends are all being hunted by the city guard, on top of all the bandits who already wanted your hide.”

“Nonsense,” said Balthazar. “I only have chitin. Much better. And come on, your aunt is the baroness, the very mayor of this place. Surely she can clear us out and make the guards stand down, no?”

“As things are right now? I’m not so sure,” Olivia said with a worried expression. “Not all guards are dirty, but with whoever is pulling the strings having control of the commander, it’s hard to know who is choosing to be loyal to him and who would stand for the city and its mayor. Titles only really mean something if you retain control of whatever gives you power.”

“Damn it,” the crab said. “I only came into this place for directions! How does stuff like this keep happening to me?!”

“Must be the mango pies. They’re a real tourist trap.” Olivia pulled her head back against the wall as two guards ran down the previous street. “Alright, I think we’re clear for now.”

Balthazar poked his eyestalks out of the doorway, looking both ways. “And what do we do now? I’m way too good-looking for prison. I’ll end up being dropped into someone’s soup!”

“I know a place where nobody will find us, not too far from here,” the young woman said. “Your friends are waiting there already.”

Through alleys and side streets, the crab and the girl fled through the city, dodging the guards at every turn while trying to remain inconspicuous.

Or as inconspicuous as a giant crab carrying a backpack can look in a city.

Which is not much.

“I’m telling you, that woman was totally staring at me,” Balthazar said to Olivia as the pair rounded another corner.

“Yeah, because you had your eyes fixed on her the whole time,” the niece of the baroness responded. “You really need to work on how to not act suspicious.”

The merchant threw his arms up in exasperation. “I’m a giant crustacean that can talk, my entire existence is suspicious!”

“We’re here,” Olivia said with a loud sigh.

She pushed open the backdoor of a small house at the edge of the city, away from the large crowds and busy commercial areas. Inside, Balthazar found a mostly empty home, seemingly uninhabited for a while, judging by the thickness of the dust on every surface.

Passing through the kitchen and into an empty living room, they found Blue and Druma waiting for them.

“Boss, boss!” the excited goblin exclaimed, hopping from the wooden bench he was sitting on. “Boss is alright!”

“Yes, thanks to you,” the crab said to his assistant. “Good job on finding Olivia.”

The small goblin swelled up with pride and his green cheeks turned slightly rosy as he smiled.

“And…” Balthazar hesitantly said, turning to Blue, who was sitting very straight next to the bench. “Thanks for getting Druma out of there when I asked. You know… instead of staying and burning stuff up like you wanted to.”

The drake’s brow flicked briefly with what seemed like surprise, but she quickly replaced it with her usual haughty expression while giving the crab a short nod of recognition.

“What’s up, fools?” a young voice said from nearby.

Balthazar turned to see a little girl coming down the stairs, casually chewing on a lollipop as she joined them.

“Suze?!” he said with surprise. “What are you doing here too?”

She shrugged. “I was sitting by the big fountain when I saw those three run by earlier. I was bored so I followed them here.”

“What?!” Olivia exclaimed. “That was reckless! What if someone followed you here?!”

The little girl pulled the piece of candy from her mouth with a loud smack of her lips. “You mean like I was following you without you noticing?”

Olivia scowled at the street urchin and opened her mouth to retort, but nothing came out.

“Little girl keep Druma and Blue company after miss leave to get boss!” the goblin said, cheerfully hopping from side to side. “She bring food too!”

Balthazar’s eyestalks perked up. “She did?”

“Yeah,” Suze said, pulling a large paper bag from the alcove. “I went to that fancy bakery you took me to before. Told the lady you asked me to pick up an order of a bunch of pastries and sweets and said you’d drop by later to pay.” She held the heavy bag up proudly. “And she believed me!”

“You said what?!” the crab exclaimed, but the smell of fresh baked goods quickly reached him, changing his tone. “Actually, never mind. I’ll worry about that later. I’m starving. Let me see what you got there!”

As the hungry crustacean dug into the paper bag, Olivia checked the windows, peeking to the outside through the blinds.

“We can’t stay here forever,” she said, horizontal lines of sunlight hitting her face as she scanned the street. “Sooner or later we will have to leave, and now we’ve got the city guard after us on top of the mad bandits we already had.”

“Ooh, the guards are after you?” Suze said, hopping up to sit on a counter. “Did you do something bad?”

“No, the guards are just in on it with the bandits and arrested Balthazar unjustly,” the older girl explained.

“Yeah, totally unfair,” the crab added, his cheeks full of carrot cake. “And the accommodations were awful. Not even a proper pillow. And don’t get me started on their bread!”

“And you shouldn’t even be here!” Olivia said to Suze. “This is getting way too dangerous. Go back home!”

“No way!” the little rascal responded, biting on the stick left by the lollipop. “I was bored and you guys are having all the fun. Besides, I don’t got a home anyway.”

“Maybe Olivia is right,” said Balthazar. “I don’t want you getting into trouble because of me.”

“Pfft,” the girl scoffed. “I don’t need you to get into trouble. Plus, you’re not my dad.”

“Thankfully…”

“I heard that,” Suze muttered, giving the crab the stinkiest of side-eyes.

“Alright, enough arguing,” the mayor’s niece said. “They’re probably already looking for her too anyway, since she’s been hanging around us so much. Best we keep her close. What we need now is a plan.”

Balthazar nodded in agreement, his mouth too stuffed to speak. Suze just shrugged as she reached into the bag and retrieved a piece of toffee. Druma and Blue just watched on, clearly having little idea of what was going on, but glad to go along with it.

“They’ll definitely expect it and see me coming if I try to reach my aunt,” Olivia said. “What I need is to get to Captain Leander. I trust him with my life. If someone can help us, it will be him.”

“It was tricky enough to get here from just a few streets away,” said the crab. “How do you plan to get all the way across town without getting caught?”

The young woman nodded. “It won’t be easy, but if I wait for nighttime and go alone, I know this city well enough to squeeze my way through the guards. Maybe.”

“Hmm,” Balthazar said, wiping his chin as he pondered. “I also got a lead on how to contact the Thieves Guild in some place called ‘The Rat’s Tail’ in the south part of town. At this point, I’m willing to turn to almost anyone to sort this situation out.”

“Oh, I know where that place is!” said Suze. “I can show you how to get there through places the guards will never find us.”

“Alright, then that’s the plan,” the crab said. “We wait for the sun to go down and then Olivia will try to reach Captain Leander while we go seek out the Thieves Guild.”

Everyone nodded in agreement and settled down to wait for night, while Balthazar shoved his claw back into the paper bag for a second serving of carrot cake.

It was deliciously moist.