Chapter 130: 124: Obscure Fate
I looked at the face of the reversed card with the number XV.
The Devil.
At this point, I hadn't much remaining patience to bother to contemplate uselessly about what the meaning could be.
Following the first two cards, The Wheel of Fortune and The Tower, it was inevitably going to be something laughably negative anyway.
So, I just asked.
"What's this one about, then?"
I didn't want to waste time with mere conjecture, so I asked Emir to tell me straightforwardly what the appearance of The Devil signified for my fate.
"...Huh?"
However, the response was unexpected.
"What's wrong?"
"N-no, nothing is wrong specifically. Just... I'm confused..."
Emir stammered slightly, showing his perplexity. Upon waiting for him to elaborate on what the matter was, he explained briefly.
"It's strange; I'm receiving conflicting messages."
"Elaborate."
"Well, you understand how there are different meanings depending on if a card appears reversed or not, right? The thing is, what I'm getting from this card is a mix of both its upright and reversed meanings. It's something that shouldn't normally happen."
I understood what Emir was saying.
Conflicting results meant that the card was giving meanings of both an upright and reversed The Devil card.
Of course, it isn't something that should happen normally, because a card physically cannot be both upright and reversed at the same time.
"So, did you shuffle them wrong or something?"
I knew it was unlikely, but I asked anyway.
"No, definitely not; my Measurement makes human errors due to shuffling impossible."
"This has never happened before, so I'm not entirely sure if this is correct, but it probably means that whatever this fate of yours is, it's something more complex than we first thought."
So he said.
It's impossible to know what fate is, exactly, but I mean, I already knew that whatever it is, is completely fucked up, so this isn't particularly surprising.
The whole thing is so laughably antagonistic towards me that it almost feels as if it has some kind of vendetta against my very existence.
Oh...
Maybe...
Just perhaps, could it be because of Truth...?
Does the universe simply function in such a manner that it naturally eradicates those who go against its laws?
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Or rather, those who "shouldn't exist".
Just like a white blood cell working to engulf and devour infected cells to protect the body's integrity and health, fate strives to eliminate those like me who pose a threat; is that it?
Someone once claimed I would try to destroy the world if I uncovered the truth behind it.
If that were true, then fate would certainly try to dispose of me before I could destroy the world it serves.
But then, how does it know I would do such a thing?
Does it merely aim to prevent all harm preemptively, even if the person themself holds no intention to carry it out?
Because I'd say that describes my current situation perfectly.
I have no intention to destroy the world.
So, why does fate care about me to such an extent?
Assuming it functions on the basis that it is absolutely certain I will try to destroy the world, then how does it know that?
Unless, perhaps I am thinking about it the wrong way.
Perhaps fate is not the one protecting the world, but rather a separate entity entirely.
Fate is fate―it exists in the past, present, and future. Therefore, fate knows everything that is going to happen, when it is going to happen, and why it is going to happen.
Why would fate try to eradicate me to prevent the world's destruction if it is a separate entity?
Well, maybe it isn't trying to do that.
It could very well be possible that my fate is just to try and destroy the world, but something bad will happen to me in the process.
It doesn't have to necessarily be that fate itself is trying to erase my existence, I suppose.
I still don't see any plausible reason that I would try to destroy the world, but I guess I can't completely eliminate the possibility.
After all, Kiryuuin is an example of someone who came back in time, most likely to prevent that from happening.
It could even be that he is the white blood cell trying to eradicate me.
Fate.
The world.
Energies of the universe.
Whatever. If anything like that is trying to stop me, then it is what it is.
I refuse to accept that something so incomprehensibly abstract and nonsensical is going to somehow put a stop to me, whatever my plans for the future are.
I care less about the matter of destroying the world and more about that.
Who does it take me for?
Like I said, I'm not taking this sitting down.
Whether it's trying to eradicate me itself or is simply an entity that exists in a neutral state.
To the end, I will resist.
If I can't even do that much, then I might as well deserve to be eaten by fate.
"Tell me whatever it means or what you saw. I don't care if it's confusing."
Returning back to the matter at hand, I instructed Emir, who nodded.
He said it was more complex, but what did that entail?
"It says that there will be great vehemence behind the effort that occurs in your fate; that the chains binding you are so immensely heavy they cannot be broken. Additionally, your fate is linked heavily with some kind of 'natural fatality', but it's not clear what that relates to."
There was a lot to unpack in that one description alone, but Emir didn't end there.
"That is for the upright meanings."
"For the reversed meanings, it depicts a scene of profound struggle; struggle to break free from the abyssal, indestructible chains."
"There may be conditions or requirements to breaking chains, and some of those requirements may be sacrificial in nature, but, supposedly, you will do whatever it takes to break free from the restraints that blind your sense of reason."
"You will be dunked into the depths of emotional and spiritual weakness to overcome those unbreakable chains."
"Further, it again mentions a fatality whose essence is sad, destructive, pitiful, and yet predestined."
"Ultimately, the image portrayed is that of a broken man's tragedy; a prisoner to his abject fate."
I wasn't sure how to respond.
It wasn't that there weren't things I could say, but that it felt inherently wrong to say something.
I don't know why, but I instinctively realised.
Were I to let my mouth run its course, I would immediately regret it.
As if my response would incur unknown consequences, be it from myself or the people around me.
"..."
So, I held my tongue.
With the attitude of a captured spy in enemy territory; a trained professional who wouldn't show a speck of reaction to even the most terrible of tortures.
I couldn't allow myself to voice unconscious thoughts, not in this case.
For once, I found myself purposefully withholding speech due to an internal worry of it being seen as something undesirable...
I would not say something that evokes reactions of pity.
I would not say something to make myself seem pitiable.
Never.
I wouldn't let it happen.
I wouldn't care if it happened anywhere else.
But not in front of these people.
What would I do if those under my control started looking at me with gazes of pity?
I could never let such a thing happen.
Not for as long as I live.
"...Emir."
After a period of silence ensuring I would not say anything unpleasant, I let out a cold voice.
"Ye-- Yes."
"The bottom row cards are supposed to be supporting context, right?"
"Eh? Uh, o-oh, yes, that's basically the summary."
Maybe he thought he would get scolded for some reason, but he quickly calmed down and got back into focus.
Without hesitation, I reached for the first of the two cards and flipped it over.
Card number IV.
The Emperor.
"..."
Finally, a card that wasn't reversed had appeared.
I looked directly at Emir; he knew what I wanted without having to ask.
"The context is... Your fate is deeply associated with authority and control―That is, there is a heavy emphasis on a system with established structure and enforced rules."
"There's a multitude of things this could allude to, but as it's only supporting context, this is all we're going to get."
Emir explained it like so, to which I felt the desire to click my tongue.
"It really is a frugal bastard, huh?"
Couldn't it just tell me straight up what my fate was? Why did everything have to be so damn complicated?
It was so terribly obscure and overreliant on vague context clues I had no possible way of understanding that I wanted to shoot whoever came up with the idea.
Hah.
Whatever.
It was infuriating, but unfortunately, necessary to endure.
If that was truly all it would give us, then I would reluctantly concede and move on.
Moving my hand slightly, I flipped over the card adjacent.
This time, of course, was yet another reversed card.
Because why wouldn't it be?
However...
"..."
There was a bit of a problem.
"H-huh...?"
Card number IV.
A second The Emperor had appeared.