My Mother Has a System but Won't Use It

Chapter 24: Vulnerability of Life.

The sun of dawn had yet to wash away the darkness. It was in the time directly before morning shine.

The morning birds were slowly waking up and the night birds were about to go to sleep. And inside Han Li's house, the lights were off and Yue Li was deep in sleep above his chest.

But Han Li didn't do anything funny and waited for her to wake up. He hadn't slept a wink last night since he wanted to be awake when she woke up.

Yue Li suddenly flinched and clenched his clothes, and he tightened his hug around her back.

She just clenched his chest harder – Han Li could almost feel the fear on her body.

She was also sweating quite a bit.

Han Li rubbed her back and muttered, "Don't worry, it is just a dream, a dream. Don't worry, okay?"

But that didn't calm her down and she slept like that frightened kitten for a very long while, until suddenly, her eyes fluttered open.

She first scanned her surroundings with her quivering eyes and then looked at Han Li's face. She took deep breaths for a while before calming down and tiredly resting her head on his chest.

Han Li rubbed her back and muttered, "Don't worry, it's just a dream. A dream."

Yue Li slowly calmed down.

"Are you fine now?" he asked in a gentle voice. The dawn was happening and the windows had started leaking in some light.

Yue Li nodded.

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"...What kind of dream did you have?"

Yue Li was silent for a while before she spoke: "I saw my old world, the people there, my friends, and... the last second when that truck came crashing towards me."

Han Li became silent this time.

"I...I felt as if it had directly hit me again, I could still feel the fear!" she weakly exclaimed and then said, "I...You know Xiao Li, I had thought I forgot all of it but... but that dream was so vivid."

Sighing inwardly, Han Li explained, "It is usual Mom, hmm, unusual for an Awakened but it is ordinary since you went through all three of it at once."

Yue Li looked at his face for answers, those glaring white lights were the things that made her wake up and even now, her heart was a bit uncalm; even though him hugging her made her much calmer.

"Breakthroughs from one cultivation Stage to another are often followed by a huge shake of our soul and body, and that makes our psyche very...vulnerable.

That is why you fell asleep, you wanted some rest to get yourself to calm down.

But that in turn always leaves a chance for the most subconscious part of our life, dreams, to take advantage of us."

Yue Li was now much calmer and asked, "That means?"

"Let me explain it to you better." Han Li took a deep breath and thought of the most efficient way to explain it.

"Every Breakthrough, Mom is followed by a shaking of our soul and body, and that in turn, shows us parts of our memories and emotions clearly through our most subconscious act – Dreaming.

Often it is considered a blessing, but more often, it is considered a calamity of sorts.

In a cultivator's life, they would have many memories, the ones they wanted to forget, the ones they regret.

And those memories, Mom, Its life in its rawest form."

He paused and looked at the window. "But it is undoubtedly cruel. With that, they are forced to remember. Forced to see how they had changed and how the others around them have changed. How they had ruined and how worthless life had become."

Yue Li wordlessly listened to her son with a strange feeling in her heart.

"You will find it hard to believe, but in a statistic I once read, it is said that more than 40% of high-level cultivators die due to suicide. They just couldn't accept the pain of all the memories and losses."

Yue Li clenched his clothes and muttered, "It is a cruel tribulation."

She could guess how hard it would be to remember all the traumas in a cultivator's long life after every breakthrough.

They were talking about hundreds of years worth of traumas. Luckily, most of her previous life traumas weren't truly traumatic; except her death that is.

"Life is quite cruel, Mom, the emptiness that slowly creeps into our hearts as we age is even crueler.

The death of a loved one is even crueler.

Then among all that, the dismay of being forced to remember...As I said, some consider it a blessing to be able to remember their fading memories, some a misfortune. Some say it is a call for death."

Yue Li sighed, a cultivator's life was never bees and butterflies, she had heard that long ago, but this was news to her.

Even their own memories could haunt mighty powerhouses and make them go to the lengths of suicide.

Han Li's mind wandered slightly, 'But for me... It was always my resolve, My breath of life. My fortune among all the misfortunes I went through.'

The memories that popped up in his head as dreams after every breakthrough was never a calamity to him, in his previous life, that was his resolve.

It pushed him an extra mile.

Han Li pushed away the dark thoughts as the room started to brighten. "Mom, it is a new beginning for us now... you are now a cultivator again, remember?"

Yue Li smiled slightly, but then, suddenly thought of something and asked, "Ah, Xiao Li, you never told me what my Spark does and I have so many questions about yesterday!"

Han Li chuckled...