My Unconventional Delivery System!

Living Room, on the leather sofa promising comfort, Kyle and Tohru were seated on the opposite ends of the large sofa, none of them in the mood of enjoying the comfort the sofa provided, the mood was too tense as they kept staring at each other's eyes, waiting for the other to say something. The mood was slowly creeping towards an awkward one.

The silence continued, the mood now one of complete awkwardness, eventually under the constant stare of Kyle's dead eyes Tohru's will crumbled. She blushed heavily in embarrassment, her body fidgeting at the uncomfortableness she was feeling from being stared at like that, there was also a little bit of leakage in her inner wear that didn't help with this situation. ​​

"D-don't stare at my face too much…"

"...But didn't you say to look at your face while I explain? Whose fault is this anyway." Kyle deadpanned, his face giving the shy and heavily bashing dragon maid a 'Girl,are you for real?' expression.

"W-well sorry! I didn't think you'd actually do it!"

"Alright, shesh... you're making it like it's my fault.. anyway let's get back to the topic... so you wanna know how I became a God?"

Tohru only nodded, evidently excited at the prospect of talking with Kyle, she was also curious about the method someone so young as Kyle used to gain Divinity.

He scratched his left cheek, still awkward and hesitant to mention that hilarious of a story. "It's very complicated... it's actually so complicated that it became amusing… Hey, Tohru...do I really need to explain it? I don't really want to mention it, it's very embarrassing…" 

"No! You should explain it! Now spill the beans! Hurry." Tohru didn't relent, her curiosity reached a new high seeing Kyle like that, he looked really cute, she really wanted to know how he became a God, and if his expressions were any indicators, which they definitely were, this should be something amusing.

"Spill the beans? Where the heck did you learn those words?"

"Internet."

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"I shouldn't have asked something pretty obvious, fine I'll talk.. it's like this…" Kyle started, he explained how he travelled to the past, of course he wasn't stupid enough to tell her about the system, he only bluffed by saying he had the inherent ability to create a spatial tear to travel to different dimensions, he also hid his ability to travel through universes, he downplayed his powers. 

Unexpectedly Tohru easily bought his lie, this made him relieved but also with a cramp in his stomach, he hated lying to Tohru, he hated lying to his family, but there was simply no way he was willing to share his greatest secret to anyone. This secret he was willing to take with him to his grave. Without mentioning the system, he continued with his explanation, of how he met the Kochō sisters, of how he had saved the elder sister from death's clutches and so on. He told her everything.

Expectedly, when he mentioned the Kochō sisters, a faint murmur escaped Tohru's lips, 'Tsk! More girls?!' to which he tried his best to ignore, the story continued, he told her how they misunderstood him as God, ended up creating a religion as him at its head and decades, almost a century later with the combined faiths of the believers he ascended and attained 'Divinity'.

To summarize he became a God through utter misunderstanding. His explanation ended, Tohru was in a daze, why wouldn't she? What she had just heard was similar to something made out from a poorly made fantasy novel, focusing on comedy and had a generic plot which at least 90% of people who read it would proclaim as boring.

"So, that's how it is, now, can I have my dinner please? Though I can't feel hungry now I just want to eat…" Finishing his talk, he had a sudden thought appear in his mind. 'Do God's need to shit? I mean if they don't, then I can save myself from shitting.'

To many it may seem a hilarious thought to have, to Kyle however it was an important one, he believed that shitting was a waste of time, if people had the choice they would definitely choose to not do it, sadly this was a basic necessity.

Only specific perverts would disagree, as for why? They use shitting as an excuse for masturbating in the toilet!

"Oh, yeah sorry about that, I'll get your dinner." Tohru left and he heard someone open the entrance door, he could hear the voice coming from here, it was his aunt who had returned home.

Entering the living room, Kobayashi San saw Kyle, sitting there on the sofa, she heard her greet him with a smile. "Welcome home, Oba-san."

"Yeah, I'm back... hmm?" Kobayashi approached him closer and stared at his face.

"Kai-chan… did you perhaps use eye contacts?" She asked doubtfully.

"Huh? No, why did you ask?"

"I don't know but it feels like your eyes are less scary and also you became quite good looking? You feel more pleasing to the eyes now." 

This gave him no small amount of surprise, from the moment he had gained his divinity no single person he had met and talked with had said anything about his appearance, so he simply thought that nothing had changed, he was his usual self.

Pulling out his phone from his pocket, he used the front camera to look at his current appearance. What registered in his sight stunned him. He changed, he really did, his aunt wasn't lying. His change was neither small nor was it rather big. It was just enough that someone would notice but they would have to properly look at him to notice it. If his aunt didn't tell him he wouldn't have noticed it himself.

The cause, well it wasn't a hard guess, his divinity should be the only plausible reason for his change. 'Damn this is serious, I thought becoming a God is only about not having mortal diseases and being ageless but who would have thought that it would affect my appearance, I wonder how many more changes that this 'Divinity' would bring me in the future.'

He didn't continue with his explanation, his aunt didn't push for one either, she simply accepted it as a natural occurrence. Tohru came back afterwards with enough food to accommodate them both. She should've noticed his aunt's arrival due to the magic barrier and acted accordingly. 

Both of them sat down to eat the hearty meal, they were simultaneously watching some news on the ridiculously big television.It was ordinary news, something they barely noticed until a particular news caught Kyle's attention. 

"Today is the 111th year festival of the God Of Delivery-"

Kyle was drinking water, well not anymore as the news he just heard made him cough out all the water he drank to engage in a violent coughing fit. "Cough- Cough-Cough-Cough-!"

"Kai-chan? Are you okay?" Kobayashi San asked in a worried tone, Kyle responded after he was able to control his coughing.

"I'm okay, don't worry about it… I'm just a bit surprised by this news…" Kyle hid the shock he had felt from this news, never did he imagine that his religion was popular enough to be broadcasted on live television. Was his religion really that big of a deal?!

"Is it really surprising? More like this isn't new, every year the God Of Delivery Festival would be shown in the news. According to history it was said that the first preacher and head priest of the religion had met the God Of Delivery this day." Kobayashi San casually uttered this information, to her it was nothing important but to Kyle.

It was very very shocking, he had only thought that his religion had minor influence… to think that it had so much influence on the people that it would be broadcasted and attended by so many people, every single year!

This was crazy, like SERIOUSLY crazy.

"But, heh personally I don't believe that this God Of Delivery exists.." Kobayashi San let out a mocking laugh, clearly dismissing the religion as fake.

Meanwhile Kyle was bitterly thinking. 'Aunt..the God Of Delivery is literally here in front of you…'

The news continued, and the news reporters interviewed someone very familiar to Kyle, seeing this interviewed person he couldn't contain his shock anymore.

The new reporter started to talk. "Today, we're going to interview the current head of the Delivery God religion now please answer this question…"

Why was he shocked? It's because the person who was getting interviewed was a girl that looked 100% like Shinobu!

Was Shinobu really alive?!

( `END` )

Sorry to burst your bubble guys but Shinobu is dead, period.