President, Our Egg Is Lost

Chapter Fifty-Eight: My little wife smells so good.

A solution to their biggest worry had now been offered up, so the originally subdued and stiff atmosphere at the Cheng household suddenly eased. Mother Cheng brought out all the melon seeds and candy snacks prepared for the Spring Festival to let Ji XiaoYu eat. She personally went to make dinner, in order to hold a welcoming dinner for her son and male daughter-in-law. Cheng YuTang rolled up his sleeves and gave his mother a hand.

Ji XiaoYu usually had a greedy mouth, but this time, because of the aftereffects of his airsickness, he couldn’t eat many of the snacks. So she took Cheng PaoPao into the courtyard to compare notes with Old Man Cheng.

After Cheng YuTang’s warning just now, he now understood the severity of the situation, so he just fakely sparred with Father Cheng, not using his real strength. Even so, one move, one punch, one kick came like flowing water, free and easy, showing the aura of a great expert, so that Father Cheng was completely convinced to believe his words from before.

While the two men were exchanging moves, Cheng PaoPao watched from the stone table and joined in, chattering and flapping his small wings to copy the moves. He tripped on himself while distracted and fell down on his butt on the table, making the unsmiling Father Cheng crack a wrinkle-filled smile.

After a long period of exercise, Ji XiaoYu felt comfortable and developed an appetite too. Coincidentally, the Cheng family mother and son had finished cooking dinner and had set the table with a dazzling array of dishes.

Ji XiaoYu swallowed a mouthful and suddenly felt like a man who had gone to heaven. After he tasted it, he praised with great sincerity as he said, “Mama, the food you’ve cooked is really delicious! I thought that TangTang’s skill was very good, now I know what it means to say ‘however strong you are, there’s always someone stronger’!”

TangTang: “……”

Mother Cheng was happy to hear this and she put some food in his bowl, “XiaoYu, eat more if you like it, don’t be polite. You’re such a good kid, but you’re just too skinny, it would be nice to see you put on a little weight.”

“Thank you, Mama!” In the face of this gourmet food, Ji XiaoYu naturally didn’t hold himself back for politeness’ sake, holding his bowl up and eating without lifting his head. In the end, all the dishes were wiped clean, making Mother Cheng smile even more.

Father Cheng wasn’t a smoker, but he would drink a small glass of alcohol every night with dinner. Ji XiaoYu was happy inside so he joined him for the drink. Cheng YuTang also didn’t stop him, his attitude completely indulgent.

On the small coffee table next to them, Cheng PaoPao was also ate until he was satisfied. Cheng YuTang had specially found a small pot and put it to the side half-filled with sand. When he finished eating, he put him in the basin and said, “PaoPao, this here is your toilet from now on. Go here when you want to poop, okay?”

Cheng PaoPao called out a few “cheep” sounds and ran around the pot a few times. After a while, he hesitantly dug at the sand with his claws, digging out a little pit, and then plopped his little butt in the pit. A “pululu” sounded out, a big poop. Finally, he knew what it was to be ashamed so he covered it with sand using his claws and awkwardly stood in the sand.

Mother and Father Cheng on the sidelines were watching, laughing occasionally.

The cup of liquor Ji XiaoYu had drank was 22% ABV, a high-alcohol-content liquor worth more than two glasses of wine. He was already starting to get dizzy now. Watching Cheng PaoPao’s performance, he couldn’t help but think dully, my son can understand that so well, so why did you have to poop on my plate at lunch, did you do it on purpose?

Cheng YuTang was aware of the ABV the little thing was drinking. He watched him laughing to himself and not talking, the look in his eyes obviously smug, thinking that their son was still in the wrong.

Ji XiaoYu stared at him and the roots of his teeth itched a little bit, so he went forward and took bite of his chin, leaning his whole body on him as if he were boneless.

“Darling, not right now, you have to wait a bit.” Cheng YuTang couldn’t help but kiss his flushed face in a soothing way. Then he grabbed his hands, to keep him from making any more intimate moves.

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Ji XiaoYu leaned in his arms, saying with a grin, “Mmm, I know, I have to wait to kiss when no one else is around.”

Mother and Father Cheng: “……”

As it should be, the young couple was intimate and loved and cherished each other, but this image was a bit spicy. The older couple was a bit too old to keep watching this. So Mother Cheng hurried to say, “It’s late, you two go rest, the west wing has been set up.”

“Alright, you and Dad go rest soon too,” Cheng YuTang said while putting Cheng PaoPao into his pocket, then he went to the west wing with his child’s drunken dad.

After they entered the room and closed the door, Ji XiaoYu pursed his lips for a kiss and Cheng YuTang naturally didn’t hold himself back anymore. He held him and kissed him well until the snubbed Cheng PaoPao cried at them in protest.

Ji XiaoYu sobered up a bit and, remembering what happened earlier, rubbed Cheng PaoPao’s little head as he laughed, “PaoPao, you’re now the pet I’m raising with your father, just like the cat or dog in other people’s households.”

Cheng PaoPao didn’t understand what a pet was, so he freed himself from his dad’s evil clutches and turned his gaze all around, curiously looking at the house’s furnishings.

Feeling a little guilty, Cheng YuTang apologized, “Baby, I am sorry, I should have told my parents the truth about PaoPao, but my ma has blood pressure that’s a little high. I was afraid she would pass out if she suddenly was told, so I want to take it slow, letting her first develop feelings towards PaoPao, then tell her carefully, okay?”

Ji XiaoYu had nothing to say in that case, “Of course it’s okay! TangTang, your mama and daddy are very good people. Don’t make them angry or upset, or I won’t like you anymore.”

His two fathers had passed away early. Except for Grandpa Hou, he had never dealt with an elder. Before coming here, he had been worried that Cheng YuTang’s parents would not like him. But it turned out the two old people were so good to him, they didn’t consider him an outsider at all, so how could he not be emotionally attached to them?

Looks like I can’t get rid of this childish nickname. Hearing it, Cheng YuTang didn’t know if he wanted to laugh or cry, but he was very touched. His baby was just too good, really so good that a better daughter-in-law couldn’t be found with a lantern.

Cheng PaoPao toured the room in a circle, but he soon got tired and staggered, unable to hold himself up. Cheng YuTang made a nest for him out of cushions and blankets and placed it next to the bed and Cheng PaoPao fell asleep as soon as he got in.

There were no distractions now. It was freezing cold outside, but the room was warm and cozy. Ji XiaoYu had just drank so his mind felt like it was fuzzy and fluttering and he felt hot all over. He couldn’t resist reaching out a hand to PaoPao’s father, “TangTang, let’s dual cultivate!”

Cheng YuTang smiled and picked him up in a bridal carry, “As you command, my little wife.”

……

The next morning, it was no surprise that Ji XiaoYu woke up late again, but luckily he didn’t sleep until noon like after the first time, he woke up at about nine o’clock. When he got up, he looked around the house. Cheng YuTang was accompanying his dad to practice Tai Chi in the yard. Cheng PaoPao was beside them, flapping his wings and messing around, and Mother Cheng was sitting in the living room, a basket in her lap as she looked for something.

He felt embarrassed and thought, I have to be restrained tonight. I definitely can’t sleep in again tomorrow.

Mother Cheng looked up and saw him, immediately beckoning to him, “XiaoYu, come over and help me look!”

Ji XiaoYu responded and ran over to ask, “Mama, what are you looking for?”

Mother Cheng pulled colorful woolen balls from the basket and said with a bit of concern in her voice, “I’m going to knit a pair of socks and gloves for TangTang’s and your future baby, but I don’t know which color to choose. What do you think?”

Ji XiaoYu also couldn’t make up his mind, so he said, “Whichever color is fine. As long as it’s knit by you, TangTang’s and my baby will love it. But this is just troubling you so much.”

Mother Cheng arched an eyebrow as she smiled and said, “It’s no trouble. I’m idle every day, and now I finally have something to do. If there’s enough time, I’ll knit a set in every color!”

Moved, Ji XiaoYu said, “Thank you, Mama.”

“What thank you, we’re all family,” Mother Cheng said angrily. “Oh, yes, XiaoYu, you should go have breakfast now, it’s all warm in the pots. We’ll talk and share info later.”

“Okay!”

After Ji XiaoYu finished breakfast, he sat next to Mother Cheng and exchanged info on child-rearing gained from her own experience; this could be described as ‘happy, harmonious, warm relations’. Cheng YuTang occasionally looked into the house, his heart full of happiness and tranquility.

The day passed very quickly, and. in the blink of an eye, t was nighttime. By the time Cheng YuTang put Cheng PaoPao into his nest to put him to sleep, Ji XiaoYu had already bathed and was lying in the bed naked, warming the quilt.

Cheng YuTang also got in bed, snuffling at the spot between his hairline and neck, and praised, “My little wife smells so good.”

Though he was a little sleepy, Ji XiaoYu laughed because he was ticklish there. His sleepiness was driven away instantly and he said with barely enough of a solemn tone to correct his error, “Haha, who said that I’m a little wife! I’m obviously a husband, hahaha……mmm……”

(t/n: husband here is slang from son-in-law as in daughter’s husband who joins the family; rather than wife being slang from daughter-in-law as in son’s wife who joins the family)

Cheng YuTang smiled silently and sealed his lips with a kiss, while casually taking off his pajamas.

Ji XiaoYu was weakened by his kiss, but he tugged at the hem of his pajamas to keep him from taking it off. He firmly refused him, say, “N-no, I-I have to go to bed early today, I want, I want to get up early tomorrow.”

Cheng YuTang chuckled lowly, biting his already swollen, red lips, and coaxed him, “Darling, we’ll just do it once today, you can sleep after you finish, okay?”

Ji XiaoYu had now become used to the taste and substance of their activities after two days and this was also the period when young people would be greedy for happiness, so how could he turn down a seduction like this? He immediately compromised his principles, clinging to Cheng YuTang’s neck and saying, “Okay, TangTang, then you have to be a little gentler……”

“……a little gentler? Didn’t you say last time that you wanted me to be rougher?”

“……whatever! No more nonsense, come on!”

The next morning, Ji XiaoYu’s plan to rise early failed again.

He was very annoyed, because today is the last day of the lunar year and, except for him, everyone else in the family got up early, hustling and bustling in prepartion to celebrate the Chinese New Year. Mother Cheng was cooking in the kitchen. The Cheng family father and son were writing couplets and blessings in the study, with Cheng PaoPao pacing up and down the desk watching everything.

Ji XiaoYu didn’t dare to enter the kitchen, afraid of making trouble for Mother Cheng, so he went into the study. While Father Cheng was busy, he pinched Cheng YuTang’s arm, complaining in a whisper, “My child’s father, why don’t you call me when you got up? It’s killing me to wake up so late again.”

Last night, they actually did only do it once, but he didn’t know if a certain someone had done it on purpose or not but that one time took particularly long. The light foreplay lasted more than half an hour and they kept changing positions, so it was after midnight when the whole set was finished and they could clean up. Then he nestled in a certain someone’s arms and slept very soundly, having no dreams all the night until dawn.

That was strange too. He used to be very alert while sleeping, waking up with the slightest noise around him, but recently his hearing seemed to be getting more and more dull. When sleeping in bed with Cheng YuTang, he didn’t wake up even when the man got up.

At the end of the day, he still blamed his child’s father. He had lost his vigilance and succumbed to the pleasures of the flesh. He had been such a diligent spiritual beast, but now he had turned into a huge slacker.

“Seeing you sleeping so soundly, how could I have the heart to wake you up?” Cheng YuTang smoothed down his messy hair and gave him a pampering look, “It doesn’t matter if you sleep a little later. It’s the Chinese New Year’s holiday, so rest at home. You’re still up so early and nothing’s wrong. Mom and Dad won’t fault you.”

Ji XiaoYu pushed away his hand and glared at him with dissatisfaction. Mother and Father Cheng didn’t fault him, but how could he feel good about himself? He slept late in bed every day, he didn’t do any housework; he wanted to be a good daughter-, bah, good son-in-law too.

Father Cheng suddenly said, “Come and take a look at our PaoPao’s masterpiece!”

The young couple turned their heads in unison and were instantly speechless.

Originally, Cheng PaoPao had begun to mess around after Father Cheng wrote a pair of couplets, stepped his two little feet into the ink and then running around the couplets, leaving behind a string of dark little claw prints.

“PaoPao, how could you be so naughty? Destroying all the words that Grandpa wrote!” Ji XiaoYu angrily lectured. Then he apologized to Father Cheng uneasily, “Daddy, I’m sorry, PaoPao is too ignorant. Let me get you another piece of paper?”

He wasn’t a very strict person, but he was just worried that PaoPao was being too naughty and would provoke Father Cheng to dislike him, which would make his heart ache.

Cheng YuTang put on a hand on his shoulder and said warmly, “Don’t worry, Dad won’t mind.”

Sure enough, Father Cheng said cheerfully, “You don’t have to rewrite it. The little footprints of PaoPao are like bamboo leaves, which happen to be the subject of this Spring Festival couplet.”

After saying this, he lifted the couplet to read it out as demonstration, “‘竹报平安辞旧岁, 梅开盛世迎新春.’ (A family letter – bamboo letter – reports peace to bid farewell to the old year, the golden age of flourishing plum blossoms ushers in the lunar new year.’) What do you think, don’t they complement each other?”

Mother Cheng, who was just outside, heard this. She came in and had a look, and couldn’t keep from petting the little chick and praising, “They really are divine ink strokes, turns out PaoPao is a little painter.”

Cheng PaoPao, who had just been lectured by his daddy, had been a little wilted. But after being praised by his grandma, he was so happy that he puffed himself up and lifted his head.

Ji XiaoYu let his concerns go. But then he got a little worried, Mother and Father Cheng became so accustomed to my son’s chick form without me knowing. In the future, they’ll really get to hug their grandson. They still have to get used to spiritual beasts being a thing in this world!

After writing the couplets, they stuck them on the doorframe and went to eat dinner. After finishing the meal, they played mahjong – Ji XiaoYu had never played before, but he learned quickly. In one round, he figured out the pattern, plus his temper was also not bad. So after a little while, he developed a kong (set of 4 identical tiles) and then a little bit later, he developed a Big Four Winds hand. The tiles that were used as counters in front of them were snatched up all at once. Cheng YuTang also secretly gave him tiles from the beginning, but later, he didn’t dare pass any because he had to concentrate on his own playing. Otherwise, his little wife would beat him without him noticing.

(t/n: sorry, I have no knowledge of how mahjong works)

Cheng PaoPao strolled around the table. When someone lost, they would gesture a few fingers at him and he would take the tiles in his little beak and deliver them to the winner. At first, he made mistakes, but later on, he slowly became more accurate. He stunned Mother and Father Cheng and they boasted that this little guy was smart and capable.

After playing mahjong, they watched the Spring Festival Gala, which Ji XiaoYu also had never done. He thought that the flowers and hustle on the stage were very interesting. Cheng PaoPao crouching in his hair was also particularly enthusiastic. Influenced by the emotions of this father and son, Cheng YuTang and the old couple who were initially not interested in the Spring Festival Gala also followed along to watch. Needless to say, the family sat around in the living room, eating sunflower seeds and talking and laughing; though it had been the same for decades, the celebration this year didn’t seem so old-fashioned and boring.

Since it was Chinese New Year’s Eve, they had to see in the lunar new year. Ji XiaoYu was originally determined to last the whole Spring Festival evening, but it turned out he got sleepy just before 11:30. And his head, where Cheng PaoPao had fallen asleep at 9pm, leaned onto Cheng YuTang’s arm.

Mother Cheng whispered softly, “TangTang, you don’t have to stay up, take XiaoYu and PaoPao back to your room.”

Cheng YuTang nodded, then took his little wife and son back to the west wing to sleep, with a faint concern in his heart.

The little thing had always been full of energy. In the past, when he was a beginning security guard at HongSheng and had been on duty for three shifts, Cheng YuTang had never seen him languishing at any time. Why was he so sleepy these past two days? He wasn’t sick, right?

Hmm, I need to find time to take him to the hospital over the next few days.

—

shameless little husband wife~

food for thought: imagine how this child will have JXY’s arrogance/physical strength and CYT’s suaveness/smarts. he’ll surely take over the world…