Redo of a Romanceless Author’s Life Devoid of Love; Another Chance at Youth

Chapter 18.

Chapter 18. Midterms (3/7)

When I leaned back she mimicked me. The two of us laid side by side with our backs to the ground.

Several minutes passed by in silence where neither of us said anything.

I was the first to break the serene moment where a single boy and girl laid atop the school roof side by side.

“So, what exactly happened? Why weren’t you listed on the rankings for the midterms? When I saw you studying with Jass I thought you’d be fine and figured you didn’t need my help after all. But then you got called to Mr. Oz’s office for something. Is it my fault? The scrap paper I tossed over to you… did they catch you cheating and invalidate all your midterm scores with the reason of academic dishonesty because I did something unnecessary?”

I asked everything that had been on my mind all in one go.

She didn't respond immediately. It took a bit before she opened her mouth.

“Honestly… I don’t know what happened.”

“Huh? What do you mean you don’t know what happened?”

“My mind is a bit of a mess. I don’t understand what’s wrong with me.”

“Please elaborate. When did this start?”

“The start of it… probably the very first half day you missed.”

“What do you mean?”

“That day when you got up to leave for the first time during lunch I was a bit surprised but I didn’t immediately think too much about it. I thought you were just going to the washroom to take a leak or something and you’d be right back. But then… you didn’t return. You disappeared like nothing without a single word. I was a bit confused I guess.”

“Then?”

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“The next day you didn’t appear at all. I felt a bit lost. My eyes darted about the class trying to pin your figure down. But you were nowhere to be found. It was a sick day. He must have just gotten sick and left early the day before and hadn’t gotten better yet. I thought that had to be the reason for your abrupt leave.”

“Over that weekend… I guess... I was thinking about you. I was looking forward to Monday when I'll see you next. I’d get even with you for taking up free lodging in my mind. That was what I thought.”

“Monday, you still didn’t appear. I felt an unpleasant sense of emptiness encroach upon me. A bunch of guys always surrounded me, but they weren’t you.”

“Tuesday came and went and you still weren’t there, I began to lose hope I’d ever see you again.”

“Wednesday the world around me started to appear monochrome, it was bleak and dreary.”

“Thursday it felt like there was rain constantly pouring down and battering my heart.”

“By Friday there was nothing left. Dazed, I was asked to meet someone behind the school. They confessed to me and asked me to go out with them. I listlessly agreed to their request for a date. I planned to use the opportunity to forget everything.”

Wow, that guy really confessed.

“On Saturday I went on a date with them. It looked like they had fun. What was fun like, I already couldn’t remember.”

“Sunday the guy I went on a date with called me up suggesting we could do some last-minute study sessions for the midterms together. I agreed to it. We met up and studied for the midterm on Monday. But anything he tried to teach me I couldn’t really remember. I just wasn’t interested. I blankly nodded along like I understood what he was talking about, but nothing ever stuck.”

“When Monday came and you finally walked in, I thought I’d feel happy, but it wasn’t happiness I felt at all. It was confusion. Pure confusion. I blanked out. In the middle of the midterm, a folded-up piece of paper landed on my desk. I read the message on it. The single word at the end stuck in my mind, ‘sorry.’ Everything after that turned to white. I ended up unable to answer a single question that day. My hand wouldn’t move to write.”

“I studied with that guy again for the midterm set for Tuesday as well. The same thing happened. On Tuesday I was still hung on the word in the note you left for me. I don’t even know why.”

“Every day I studied with that guy for the next midterm but nothing ever changed.”

“Wednesday I ended up replaying the last two months in my head.”

“Thursday I tried to figure things out.”

“Friday, I finally realized something. I’d never been staring at you because of something like love. I’d only been staring at you for selfish reasons and I’d done nothing but inconvenience you for my own fun. I thought about having a normal romance with a guy who fit a certain set of criteria just for the sake of having a normal romance. It’d last until the end of high school before we’d go our separate ways and never see each other again. It was a rather selfish thought of mine. Because of how nonchalant you were and immune to love you seemed to be, I thought it’d be fine if it was you. That was my reason in the beginning.”

“I ended up rushing in head first, forcing things along recklessly. I wanted to speed things up but I got needlessly impatient at some point and pushed you to the point where you took a large step back and created a rift between us.”

“During the weekend that followed I tried to think about a way I could fix things but I couldn’t think of anything much.”

“When Monday came I was called to Mr. Oz’s office as you already know. I’d gotten a zero on every midterm because I couldn’t so much as lift my pencil to write let alone think. Everything from the week of the midterm was blank in my mind. I just told them I’d been feeling sick the week before and they accepted it without any questions asked. They even thought I might have caught something from you since you’d been out sick for a week and I sat close to you. They plan to let me retake the midterms next week.”

“So… honestly… I could really use your help right now.”

“Well, I don’t really mind, but is that all you want for all the trouble you apparently went through because of me? I mean you’d surely be thinking of getting even with me, right?”

“Your help is enough.”

“I see. Well, I’m glad you’re asking for my help. I can at least make it up to you a bit. I’m also glad that I got to hear your real thoughts. This makes things easier.”

“Makes what easier?” I could see her turn her head toward me from the corner of my eye.

I took out my phone held it up in front of me and opened up my contact list. I edited her contact details and changed the contact name.

I then turned my head to face her. Looking her in the eyes while turning my phone toward her I asked with a slight smile, “Would you be my girlfriend?” Before she could process what I’d asked her or what I’d shown her on my phone and respond to me, I raised my right hand, placed it on her left cheek, and leaned in closer to her. Closing my eyes, our lips came into contact.

Her lips were warm and moist. I tasted something rather sweet. Something I hadn’t tasted before. I couldn’t help but think it was a taste of youth. Something you could only experience when you were young and in love.

If you were too slow to act, it would be a taste you’d never be able to try.

Displayed on my contact list in front of her she was number one in the list of one. Her name was now listed as ‘♡♡♡MY GIRLFRIEND♡♡♡’.

Truly, it was quite the embarrassing name.

When I pulled my head back thinking to stop she moved forward and kept us connected as if afraid I’d disappear on her again. 

Even without her saying it her action was enough of a confession. She’d reciprocated. Her hand slid up across my chest and she meekly hooked it around the back of my neck. Her nails dug into me a bit, but it didn’t bother me too much.

The bell suddenly rang signaling the end of lunch. When it did we snapped out of our trance. But she seemed a bit reluctant.